Is your pussy dry? Here's why!

I had a lightbulb moment watching the news this morning.

DEAR READERS PLEASE READ THIS!!!!! THIS MAY BE A LIFE-CHANGING POST FOR YOU!!!

News shows are notorious for their pharmaceutical ads, and I saw an ad fora pill for post-menopausal women.The woman in the commercial is definitely a MILF. She sensually looks at the camera and purrs, "Sex after menopause...it shouldn't have to hurt" as she's writhing on a bed, toying with the collar of  her white button-down blouse. The camera zooms in on her left hand to show us a wide, gold wedding band. She's SO hot, and she easily looks little older than 40. Google tells me that the average age of menopause is 51.

The ad flashes to another woman with equally long hair, way beyond her shoulders like the first actress, only it's all grey. (AN OLD WOMAN!). We don't really see her close up, but she's swaying sexually too. She doesn't get to say anything. She just sashays erotically. Both women are in fantastic physical shape.

I felt compelled to watch it several times. First of all you need to know how much I despise "Big Pharm" so I have a cynical response regardless, but this really irked me. Why did they have to show a wedding ring?? REALLY?!?!?!?! With all the TV shows on Netflix that are too sexual for me to watch with my teenage daughter, you're going to get all moral on us??? Or is there a deeper message there??

AND THERE IS!!!!!!!!!!!

It all clicked for me.

Menopausal vaginal dryness/pain is a married woman's affliction.

Read that sentence again. I'll paraphrase.

Women in long-term marriages have vaginal pain when they fuck their husbands.

This vaginal pain is caused by a lack of lubrication.

It is a biological fact that the female body creates vaginal lubrication when aroused. 

Menopausal women can't get wet to fuck their husbands because they simply aren't aroused!

The extent to which a woman "gets wet" is our version of a hard dick. The harder a man's dick is, the more aroused he is. Simple fucking fact. Can anyone deny that truth???

When a woman is aroused, her body gets ready for penile penetration by creating its own lubricant, heretofore known as "getting wet". Not to sound scientific or anything, it's just a simple fact. Men get hard, women get wet. If a woman's not getting wet, or a man's not getting hard, guess what folks!!! THEY'RE NOT TURNED ON!!!!!

Now of course I'm generalizing. Do not think for a moment that I'm insensitive to the ill or elderly, or people who suffer from real afflictions that cause soft dicks and dry pussies even when aroused. Of course there is scientific data that shows that as women age, the ovaries produce less of the female hormone estrogen, which can lead to thinning and dryness of the vaginal walls, and I believe as men age and their testosterone levels drop, it can wreak all sorts of havoc on a person's sex life. Having said that, I am GENERALIZING.

And I feel like a bit of an expert on the subject, as I am married in a long-term marriage, and I'm post-menopausal (I went into menopause at 42!!). And I am always buying lube; I have always enjoyed using it during foreplay (and after) and never really stopped to think about whether I really needed it or not. It's just so much fun when it's things get a little slippery!!

When I saw this commercial the other morning, my brain went into overdrive, and it occurred to me that I have never used lube with Blondie, except the very first time we had sex at his apartment. I bought a bottle of lube and gave it to him as a gift, just assuming I would need it! And it was fun to play with, but I realized that every time he fucked me, I was already soaked. What clinched it for me was realizing that last week he slid his dick inside me while we were taking a bath.We all know how drying bath water is, and water in general is the anti-Christ of hot sex. But it went right in, and it didn't hurt, and we fucked our brains out.

And I also realize that just texting him, talking about fucking him, seeing pics of him, and just fantasizing about him and BOOM waterworks. I. AM. READY.

Do I get this wet with my husband?? I know you want to know.

No offense to him, but I don't. But he doesn't get a hard dick for me either without warming up the engine either!  That's a 20 year marriage folks. I doubt he has any trouble with his girlfriend. We can't possibly feel that throw-me-down-on-the-kitchen-counter desire after twenty years. It just isn't possible!! Why do you think you're always hearing how couples go on vacations or try role-playing, even to the point of renewing vows to "spice things up"??? Love and sexual desire can be mutually exclusive.

There's nothing like being with a new lover. In polyamory, we call it "NRE", or "New Relationship Energy." We know it is a phase!! Some of you call it the "honeymoon" stage! And we all know it doesn't last.

And twenty years later, women are wondering why they're dried up.

Get a new lover not a pill!

I'll bet that cures it for most of you.

You're welcome.

My first "facial"

Hello my lovelies! I'm sorry I haven't had much to write about lately, but I DID have some fun a couple weeks back and I haven't had time to write about it until now.

I "met" a super cute 19 yr old guy on Tinder who reminded me so much of F it's uncanny.A thick, gorgeous crop of wavy brown hair, brown eyes, and a similar body to F. Same age too (hehehe). He was texting me hard and heavy and within a few days, he was driving up to my house.

I was going to be his first MILF! And he was very nervous, and asked me to only give him a BJ. I said that would be fun. No problem. I always let the guy steer the boat. He looked so much like F I couldn't believe it! He was short and dressed almost exactly like him (those khaki cargo shorts...mmmm) and a white t-shirt. He had these really cute freckles across his nose and under his eyes, he was just absolutely adorable. He made me feel at ease, that and the shot of vodka I did when I saw him drive up!

For a guy that professed to be so nervous, I couldn't tell at all, because he seemed so comfortable around me. We just sat on the bed chatting; we are both runners and he was really interested in hearing about the 5K's and 10K's that I've done. He was a track star at his high school and still runs too.

He had told me he was on his way to a Brewer game with his group of friends, and had told them he had a doctor's appointment and made them wait for him so he could come see me! When we'd been texting, he said he only had an hour and would I be able to make him cum in that time? Well, NaughtyAnna chuckled to herself, "babe, we will have about 45 minutes or more left over" but I didn't tell him that. I said, "Yeah, we should be good" and when he got here, I set my phone alarm for 12:22 as he asked me to.

We spent most of the time talking!! Then he couldn't wait to get started and began to rip off his clothes. It was cute. I loved it. I had on a dress with a sexy bra and panty set on underneath and I had on a pair of flesh-colored stilettos. My hair and makeup looked good and I felt confident, and soon he wasn't wearing anything but a smile. Mmmmm. He was DELICIOUS. His body could've been F's. Rock hard abs, tiny waist, he had a small torso, just the way I like it.

I slipped my dress off over my head and tossed it to the ground, and he breathed, "oh my god" as it was coming off. I kept my stilettos on. He laid back on the bed like he owned it, ready for me to begin.

I couldn't believe this gorgeous man was laying naked in my bed. I couldn't believe this middle-aged me could get a guy like him. I saw his GF on his Facebook, and she looks like a Victoria's Secret model. Tall and lithe, blonde and not a scrap of fat on her body anywhere. What the hell was he doing with me??!! I stopped thinking and just let myself enjoy the moment.

I began with his neck, and would go back up to his full lips. I love kissing and he seemed startled by everything I did, but in a good way. Because he had no idea what I was going to do next, he seemed unsettled but then would relax as he realized he liked what I was doing! I was having a great time. This male buffet spread out on my bed was the most delicious thing I'd had before me since F. I never wanted the afternoon to end.

I just ate him up, and he squirmed and moaned. I took my time up and down his body, licking and sucking him. I'd go from his neck, and kiss and lick and take nibbles of his chest and tummy and then go around his cock, licking his thighs, and completely avoiding his throbbing cock. He had his hands on my head, his back arched in ecstasy, his eyes alternating between open, watching me with such desire, and closed with his head back, enjoying the sensations of being totally adored and admired by me.

I finally scooped up his manscaped balls in my mouth and he became more vocal. Clearly he had never had a BJ like mine. (hehehehe what can I say??? I'm good at it.) He could take it no more and started giving me verbal directions. It was so fucking hot.

"Get on your knees", he directed me as he slid down to the edge of the bed. I did as I was told. He grabbed his hard cock and slapped me in the face with it. It was so hot. I tried to grab it with my mouth and I finally got it and started sucking on it. I loved how he was holding it in my mouth, looking down at me so turned on. I knelt as I'd been told, and just licked and sucked his balls and cock, licking his thighs in anticipation. He moaned and held my head and stroked my hair lovingly, and I can still see the way he looked at me. It was soooooo yummy. HE was sooooo yummy. I didn't mind that he was getting all the pleasure because it gave me so much pleasure giving this gift of a blow job to him. I was as turned on as he was.

He continued to tell me what to do and I loved it. "Suck it! Suck it harder!" "That's it, lick it, take it all". He never was abusive in any way, just turned on and giving me directions. I loved it.

He was finally ready to cum, and I assumed he wanted me to swallow, but he had something else in mind.

"Can I cum on your face?" he asked me, holding his big, thick cock in his right hand.

"Yes", I purred. And he did. His back arched, my mouth on the tip and masturbating himself, he started to squirt all over my face. I licked what was on and around my mouth and drank up. He tasted delicious.

We were both smiling now, and I got up from my knees, walked a few shorts steps to the bathroom and grabbed us a towel. I wiped off my face, and gave it to him, and I told him that was the first time anyone's ever done that to me. He was incredulous! I said it was true! And it was!!! Not even my husband of 23 years. NO ONE has ever cum on my face before. I wasn't sure I would like it.

I DID. I LOVED IT.

And so did he.

We sat there together for a few minutes, and I knew he was probably now worried about the time, so I looked at my phone and we had 7 minutes to spare!! hehehe He giggled and began to get dressed. He saw my dress on the floor and handed it to me with a cute giggle.

He realized that he was ready for more. He wanted more than just oral sex, and said, "I want to fuck you so bad now. What are you doing tomorrow?" hehehe I said I was going out of town. He said, "NO! SERIOUSLY???? WHEN WILL YOU BE BACK???", exasperated at the thought of waiting. I said I'd let him know when I got back. He sighed, disappointed. I was happy inside, and was smiling.

The alarm finally went off, and we were both dressed at this point just chatting, I don't remember about what. He was so relaxed and seemed to feel so comfortable around me, it was really really nice. I thought, "I have replaced F", and thought, "Anna, you are falling for this one aren't you??"

We walked downstairs, and at the door to say our goodbyes when I leaned over to kiss him and he reached out to shake my hand!!! It was so awkward and hilarious, I was thinking, "I'm not a prostitute! WTF???" and meekly shook it back. I think I did kiss him anyways, and we said our goodbyes.

He's texted me a few times and sent a few snapchats but hasn't suggested getting together, but it's ok. I've got oh, five or six possible new guys I'm chatting with. Anna doesn't sit around and wait for any guy.

But I would definitely say "Freckles" has moved up the list and is my #2 choice right now.

F will always be #1.

Feast or famine...and it's feasting time

Hello dear readers! Hope all you sexy mutherfuckers had a great Valentine's Day!!! From what I've read on my Twitter feed, it looks like there was quite a bit of fucking going on. Naughty naughty!!!

I myself had a new hottie over last Wednesday, a cute guy I met him Tinder. Brown hair, brown eyes, just my type. He came to my door and he was actually a little heavy, but I thought, eh, I'm a little chubby these days so WTF. He was 25 years old. Barely a little more than half my age. He was at the same college where I take my writing class which is only 5 min away. He had said his class ended at noon and he'd come right over after.

I always get so nervous with someone new and since I'd poured out all the vodka in the house after discovering my daughter had been pilfering it, I didn't have any to calm my nerves. I did find an unopened "Kinky" vodka, which was pink and a mix of mango and other juices, not really what I wanted but oh well what the hell. I opened it up and poured some into a rocks glass and started sipping. By 12:15 I was getting loaded (I hadn't eaten..too nervous) and not a peep from him. I turned on my PA and plugged in my mic and iPhone and started singing to pass the time. I haven't sung since our last band rehearsal and I was happily surprised that my voice was so strong! I belted out to "Without You" by Motley Crue and "Down Boys" by Warrant, two songs I always wanted to do but the band didn't want to do. I just sang them over and over till a text from him finally came. He was on his way. I texted my hubby right away and he was excited for me and told me to "have fun!!"

When he finally arrived, it was like 12:40 and I was lit. Wearing a red negligee (the same one I wore for F) I had been singing and dancing around my living room and was in such a happy mood. He came in, smiling huge, happy to see me. I tried to put him at ease and said, "yay! you're even cuter than your profile picture!" He took off his boots and jacket, and clearly he hadn't done anything like this before. It was cute. He started to undress right there so I took his hands and stopped him. I told him what I had been doing and did he want something to drink? He said "sure" and I told him the story about why I was drinking the girly vodka. I got a sense he really didn't know what to make of me. While we were standing in the kitchen, I just got in his face and gave him a juicy kiss and said, 'Sorry!! Just had to do that!! Hope that was okay!!" and he giggled and said, "Of course!" He was wearing the dorkiest sweatshirt...it said "Wisconsin" on it and had a picture of a mallard duck. I laughed and mentioned how dorky it was but that I love ducks. He giggled.

Within like 5 minutes, I took him by the hand upstairs. He was late, and we only had an hour cuz I had to leave by 1:50 to pick up my daughter from school.  When we got to my room, he undressed quickly and was totally naked and laid down on my bed. He had a huge dick and it was rock hard and he was ready to go. I went down on him first, and he loved it. I worked my way around his dick and balls and he moaned with delight. We had discussed the whole condom thing in texting and he said he was clean; he hadn't been with anyone else for a really long time anyways. (Hard to believe! He was really cute!) I then laid down next to him and he got on top of me and put his dick in me and pulled out after just a couple thrusts. He came on top of me, like 5 seconds after he started. He was so upset. After he cleaned us up, I said, "Here, come lay with me" and he said, "I'm not the cuddling kind" as he put his clothes back on. I was like, "what's wrong?" dummy me didn't really get why that made him so upset. He mumbled something like, "I shouldn't have come here. I have work I need to do for my dad" or something like that. I said kindly, "That was hot. You were so turned on by me you came quickly. Who cares? Let's go for round 2!" But he wasn't interested. He left so quickly my head was spinning.

I texted him right away that I took it as a compliment, etc. and that I would love to see him again. Never heard back.  I don't know what to think. Guess I'd have to be a guy to get it. Maybe someone can explain it to me. 

I'm still obsessed with F and think of him every day. I have checked his Instagram, which he's blocked me from (nice, right??) but I can see it if I Google it. He seems to still be with the ex-gf who cheated on him, but no new pics of her. AND his FB still says he's single. So whatever. I'm really hoping something happens with this new guy to take my mind off him. He's super cute, and I think he's 22, blond and blue-eyed and a snowboarder to boot. I'll call him "K". Totally hot and sexy. And SWEET. We've been writing back and forth for over a week, almost two maybe? I feel more comfortable with him than anyone I've hadn't yet met. We've even sent silly pics to each other. THAT'S how comfortable I am with him. He told me recently he "wasn't ready". He's worth being patient for, and I told him I wanted him and for him to let me know when he's ready but that I was going to see someone else. I can't sit and wait for anyone. What if he's never ready? My heart gets broken so easily. I get my hopes up and get close to someone and then poof, they're gone. I've had this happen too many times.

Oh, and Allen came back into the picture. He texted me a Happy Valentines' day and we've been chatting. He's soooo perfect in every way except he won't go down on me! So I lost interest. But he's patient and maybe I'll tell him sometime that he needs to work on that and that I'll help him. For now, I'm putting him off saying our schedules just aren't working out to get together.

Another new hottie and I have been writing, and he's the spitting image of F, but with tattoos and piercings!!!!! YAY!!!!!! We've been hot and heavy just for a couple days, and as it stands right now, I'm driving to see him Wednesday. He lives an hour away. DAMN!!!!! But where there's a will, there's a way!!! We'll see. I'm used to these guys being all talk. That's what most of them are. When they find out I'm real and really want to get together with them they disappear. I hope this doesn't happen with this guy....I'll call him Mr. S for now.

Feast or famine. It's feasting time right now--- I've got 5 guys writing me and a girl...she's the most persistent of them all and I'm like, back-pedaling cuz I'm not sure that's what I want to pursue.  Since K's not interested I am hoping Mr. S is just what I'm looking for. I need someone to fall for so I can forget F. I've driven by his fire station on my way to work so many times and haven't seen his car even once. All I can do is hope he will think of me and miss me too and text me. I have to move on.

Have a great week you sexy MF's!!!!

Risky sex

This was definitely the sexiest weekend of my life. It started Friday with a new lover that rocked my world. I'm falling hard for him already, and I am in that scary place where I haven't heard from him since Saturday and wondering if he feels the same way.

He found me on OK Cupid. He sent me this message, "You are beyond beautiful. I would fuck the shit out of you!" with a heart/smiley emoticon. I looked at his profile: 19 years old, a firefighter, and so godddamn good looking. I got wet just looking at his abs. And those brown eyes. Mmm. Something about him just smoldered right through my phone. He'd written four days prior, and I was just now seeing it. I wrote him back, "Mmmm you are just what I'm looking for. Text me...(my name and number)." He literally texted me instantly, and shockingly, his name came up in my phone! I hadn't recognized him from his profile but the name was instantaneous.

He is one of my son's friends from high school.

They double-dated for the prom two years ago. Took pics in front of my house. With him and his GF, my son and his GF, and his parents.

YEAH.

So of course I freaked out. I was terrified he'd tell my son. We texted all afternoon; he said he could trust me, that he'd never "kiss and tell", and that he hasn't seen or talked to my son since they graduated. That he's 19 now and a firefighter, lives on his own, etc. I told him that I didn't want to hurt his feelings but I didn't remember him. He said, "TBH I thought I did recognize you, I always thought you were beautiful." OMG. The compliments kept coming.

I didn't honestly remember him. I was more impressed with the Ferarri LOL. And he was just 17 then and my kid was in a tux! I wasn't looking at his buddy! I have NEVER looked at any of my son's friends in a sexual way. To me, my son will always feel like he's still 10 and so his friends are just kids to me. So this was very weird and uncomfortable, until we kept talking. It was obvious he was all grown up now and since I hadn't remembered him (other than his unique name and that he was here...and yes, I have pics....) it was like meeting a stranger. 

He tore my defenses down.

I started texting my hubby how badly I wanted him. He said, "If you can trust him, you can have him." I was soooo happy! F reassured me he could be trusted.

We wanted each other so badly.

I had to work later in the day, but I was free. He said he got off work at noon and could be here by 1.

I said, 'Perfect!"

I didn't need to give him my address.

I took a sexy selfie of myself when I was all ready and sent it to him. He loved it. He kept saying all the right things. I was beyond excited.

When he showed up, it was just magical. He had a big grin and looked even hotter in person. He came in and my dog greeted him with his nose in his business and politely petted him, and instantly just met my gaze and kissed me. He's got the fullest lips I've ever seen and he was a GREAT kisser. OMG. So much desire for this man. We just stood there kissing, eating each other up hungrily.

We finally broke apart and I led him into the kitchen where I had a bottle of peppermint schnapps and two glasses out for us. I had told him I needed it for my nerves cuz I was so nervous and excited to see him. I had had a vanilla vodka shot ten minutes before he'd shown up, and it didn't even have any effect. We chatted as we poured it and sipped, but he kept getting closer and kissing me. I couldn't get enough of him. My stupid dog wanted to go out so I let him out and we kept making out in the kitchen waiting for the dog to come back. It was fun. He undid his belt and put my hand on his dick right there in the kitchen and it was rock hard. It was so exciting. This is always my favorite part--foreplay.

We kept at it until I could wait no longer. Being that it was freezing out, I had to get that fucking dog back in before we went upstairs! I went to the front door and yelled for him. Thankfully he came running in! I took F by the hand and led up him upstairs.

He undressed and I helped him :)) yummy there's nothing so exciting as undressing a new hottie!!! And he had a HUGE hard dick. What is it about these short guys with huge dicks??? My good fortune for sure!!! And he WAS passionate. I felt like he was in love with me. THAT kind of passion. He had this intense eye contact like he possessed me. I was jumping out of my skin. I told him I had never felt like this before, and it wasn't a lie. I thought Jordan was amazing, and he was, but I realized later that Jordan made incredible eye contact only a few times, and F made eye contact constantly. It seriously was the sexiest feeling, and I told him so. I said, "no one has ever looked at me the way you look at me." And that made him look even more intently at me. If I wasn't absolutely mad about him it would be creepy hahaha

With every touch, he possessed me. I can't explain it. We were so hungry for each other. We devoured each other. I didn't feel that with Jordan. Jordan had fun with me but now, comparing the two, F made me feel like he NEEDED me. Like he couldn't live without me. He had a comfortableness with his own body, he made me feel so safe and loved. 

And he actually told me he loved me.

No one has ever accidentally told me they loved me before. I said it to Jordan while I was fucking him, and I knew he'd think, "eh, I'm just hot in bed." But the truth was I was falling for him. And here I am again, falling for someone again. And HARD. And HE told ME he loved ME, NOT the other way around. Did he mean it??

We did it in every position we could think of. And I had stopped and bought condoms cuz sadly, I knew I had to be careful, cuz not only could I catch something from him, he could possibly catch something from me. I don't know if my chlamydia is gone or not. Thank GOD I have an appt today in an hour!!!

Anyways, yeah, I told him mid-fuck I had gotten it. That I took meds and it was probably gone. My hubby freaked out when I told him this! He said, "WHAT??? YOU TOLD HIM???' He said gently then, 'You have such strong morals. You knew he needed to know. That wasn't the time to tell him!" So of course now I'm freaking out. I could barely sleep last night. So I made an appt first thing this morning. I hope to God I'm clean so I can tell him.

Okay, so back to Friday!

He was so full of passion. And he LOVES to give oral!! yay!!! Lucky me!!! He was GOOOOOOD. Mmmmmm. But of course I can never relax with someone new; I don't know why but I'm so self-conscious. He was amazing. Best lover I've ever had (aside from hubby).  There was so much passion. 

He wanted to come in me but not with a condom on. He wanted to come on me instead, and that's so hot I said sure! He was on top of me at this point and pulled out and tore off the condom and squirted his cum all over my breasts. It was fucking hot. Mmmm. Afterwards he laid down next to me, put his arm around me and pulled me close. He was so intimate. He told me how he lived in the basement of a house with a few roommates and I said how I'd love to come over. He loved the idea. He shared so much about himself...intimate things. About what happened with his GF who he was with for 3 years. How she cheated on him. He told me how he is going to be learning his dad's business cuz he's having a hard time now being a firefighter and seeing people in agony. He was just so real. We clicked like I've never clicked with anyone. With Jordan I was shaking the whole time. With F I was relaxed and I felt loved and safe. When he fucked me he'd hold me tight and one time I told him, "I can't get close enough to you."

I had set my phone alarm for 2 since I had to go pick up my daughter from school, and the alarm went off. We were talking at the moment and we hated the interruption. As we got dressed, he said how beautiful I looked (again!!!) OH and I forgot to tell you he said I was such a hot MILF and that I was his first MILF!!! I told him, "Yay!! I'm so honored!!!" We had such great chemistry. I stopped feeling nervous the minute he touched me. 

He loves cars, and told me his dad sold the red Ferrari and bought a Lambo. Damn they're rich! I told him what car I drove and he said OMG I love those and we walked out into the garage so I could show him my car. He opened the door, got in and sat down, and saw it was a 5-speed. He shifted the gears and high-fived me it was a manual. When he got out, he said, "have you ever fucked in your car?" and I laughed and said I hadn't. He said he'd love to fuck me in it or on it. "How about both?" he said with a huge mischievous grin! Mmmm. We kissed more, our bodies pressed together so hard. I said, "OMG I'm so ready to go again!" He said "me too!" but I had to go. I opened the garage door to let him out and we kissed until it opened, and then kissed again. We broke apart and he walked out, looking back at me the whole time. We both got in our cars at the same time, and I basically followed him down the street. He did this cute side-to-side movement with his car (I was right behind him) and I flashed my lights back. 

I spent the rest of the day on cloud nine.

Did I mention how much I loved fucking his body??? OMG those abs in his profile pic were in my bed! He even let me take a pic of him laying there naked on my bed. OMG I masturbated to that pic last night, my desire for him is so strong. I can't stand it. I haven't been able to stop thinking about him and I want him SO badly. I sent him a selfie Saturday on my way to work and he wrote back I looked beautiful and hoped I had a "fabulous' day. I said, "I will now because you made my day."

That was Saturday around 11 am. Haven't heard from him since. So now I'm in that place I hate...desperate for him and wondering if he feels the same way.

I'm going fucking out of my mind. I'm hoping that my doctor gives me the clear sign so I can tell him and reassure him. Stupid me.

Every minute that goes by he doesn't text me is sheer agony. He had said he was off work today and I was planning on going to his house. It's just after 9 am and I can't stand it. I'm so glad I'm going to the doctor.

He had said he could "do without a phone", so I'm trying not to make too much out of it. Hubby says to "calm down". 

BTW I forgot to say that we both said we didn't like ONS, and that we both wanted someone "regular" not multiple partners. It truly seemed we both wanted the same thing. It seemed we were meant for each other right from the start. The other thing is, I told him that if we did indeed become "regulars" I would delete my OK Cupid profile. He liked that.

And guess what???!! He's already deleted HIS. So I have NO idea what to make of this.

I will write him if I have good news from my doctor. And if I don't, and if I don't hear from him soon, I will write him anyways, cuz I honestly can't stand it. I can't stand the silence, I can't stand not hearing from him. If he's done with me already this will hurt BAD.

And my son is home from college, and I'm scared. I have so much to lose.

11 reasons why your next girlfriend should be a hotwife

This is for all my lovlies out there! I've been writing this in my head all day.

I'm sure you've heard of the term, "MILF" (Mom-I'd-Like-to-Fuck). When you think of a MILF, you think of the hot married soccer mom who doesn't have a clue how hot she really is. She's oblivious to her hotness as she does her maternal, parental duties, as you, the young hunk, masturbates at home wishing she saw the way you looked at her. And most likely, she's married to an Alpha male who would see the way you look at her and punch you in the face for it.

Now, imagine that married MILF being your girlfriend.

That's what a Hotwife is. 

That's what I am.

A hotwife is really just a MILF whose husband not only "allows" her to have sex with other men, he gets off on it. Sometimes, said husband will want to either participate as a threesome or just watch. In our case, it can be either of those, as well as me being alone with another guy: in our home, at his place, or on a get-away alone with him. Sometimes, the husband won't want details, but rather, a "don't ask, don't tell" policy. Either way, a Hotwife is the MILF of your dreams, because you can have her.

I wasn't always a hotwife. I was a MILF first. Of course, MILF's don't usually know they are MILF's. When Mickey gave me that first long gaze back in 2004 was when I became aware I was a MILF. He was 19 years old, and I knew I was old enough to be his mom. But that didn't bother him in the least; in fact, he'd confided in me he'd always wanted to fuck a much-older woman. In time I began to realize how many really young guys love older women, and in fact, PREFER US TO THEIR YOUNGER COUNTERPARTS. 

I thought it would be fun and informative to write about why YOUR next girlfriend should be a hotwife!!

1. She's great in bed. She loves sex.  A hotwife is not going to be shy, coy, or a cold fish in bed. She is proud of her body and can't wait to show it off to you. She will tell you what she likes and what she doesn't like. She loves to please and speaking for myself, I LOVE to give blowjobs. My young guys tell me these girls half my age suck their dicks for like 30 seconds and they're done cuz they just don't know what to do "down there." She has a variety of toys and isn't embarrassed to use them in front of you. Or on you. Or go to a sex store and get more to play with you. You bring out the kink in her she never knew existed. She will be the best lover you've ever had, and you will be hers. 

2. She can't/doesn't want to get pregnant. A Hotwife usually already has kids of her own. The LAST thing she wants is more! She's getting her groove on and more kids would cause her now exciting sex life to come to a complete halt. Think about all the carefree fucking you can do and never worry about making a baby. 

3. She doesn't want to marry you.  All the young guys I've been with tell me the same thing over and over--these young girls expect a ring if they sleep with them. A Hotwife is already married. You get all the benefits without any of the responsibility. It's what you've always wanted--JUST SEX. AND LOTS OF IT.

4. She's got time for you. A hotwife's kids are usually in high school or college and she's got all day alone in that big house of hers to see you. Want to take an impromptu trip to Vegas? Her hubby won't mind! She can afford for both your plane AND hotel room tickets.

5. She's got the money to take care of herself. And this translates into, SHE LOOKS HOT AND SHE KNOWS IT. A Hotwife has a membership at the most expensive gym in town, and actually goes. OFTEN. She will get a boob job, Botox, designer jeans, expensive facials and mani-pedis, and probably Brazilian waxes too. She is unabashed about this and she'll be the one showing you her new tits in the bathroom. You know already she ages well; she's had babies and still has a flat stomach and a firm butt. Can't say the same for your millenial co-workers. 

6. If she likes you, she will shower you with more than affection. I have been known to pay for airline tickets, concerts, dinners, money, shopping trips, gifts, you name it, to one lover in particular. A hotwife will never forget your birthday, and since money is no object, expect to receive something you've been wanting but think you'll never be able to afford. And since she's already married, you don't have to worry about who-visits-who on major holidays. You know she's going to be too busy for you, BUT with some planning, she WILL make time to see you. And you'll get your present all right. Naked. 

7. She will be discreet. Unless my guy sends ME a friend request, we won't be Facebook friends, but we will be Snapchat or KIK friends. If we are more than that, than we two have a relationship that is very special indeed. I was always Mickeys' "dirty little secret" which was fine for the first 8 years then it was like, "really?? Still pretending you don't know me?" And this was after he met my kids and stayed in my guest room for a week. It began to hurt my feelings. Then I felt less like a hotwife and more like a whore. A hotwife is proud to be your lover and doesn't mind if the whole world knows, but respects that maybe your mom wouldn't approve. 

8. Even if she says the "L-word" (love) she loves her husband more. I tend to fall in love with the guys I have sex with, which is why I'm so picky. I have only been with a handful of guys in the 12 years I've been a hotwife, and I love them all. When any of them call/text and want to see me, I drop everything and squeeze them into my life. And I would do anything for them. They know this and it's reciprocal. My lovers are some of the best friends I have. We can talk freely about anything and everything, since I am the least judgmental person they know. And since we have no mutual friends, I am also the least threatening person they know. I feel safe with them, and they feel safe with me.

9. She's fun to be around. Because there's little or no expectations, you can be yourself around her. Like number 8 above, you can be as freaky as you want with her and she will not laugh in your face or tell you to "grow up" or "that's weird" or anything like that. She sees a side of you no one else gets to see, and that's the ultimate thrill for a hotwife. Seeing your "O" face is what she lives for. That, and, number 10.

10. She's multi-orgasmic.  Since she's so comfortable with her body (read "no hang-ups") she knows what she likes. I've had my young guys tell me the young girls they've been with "hate oral sex" and worse, hate giving oral sex to THEM. They worry about the way they look; they obsess about the way their breasts bounce or if their stomach is flat enough, while I'm obsessing over your sexy, naked body and making sure I don't miss an inch. I'm ready to go, and once you've recovered, I'm ready to go again. A hotwife doesn't get tired of fucking and will NEVER get bored and want you to "hurry up and cum cuz I've got stuff to do today." A hotwife focuses on YOU. She's not thinking about her grocery list while she's sucking your dick. 

11. Compliments will get you everywhere. You don't have to text us every day. Hell, once a week will do just nicely, thank you. But make sure you keep telling us how great we are in bed, what you want to do to us next time, and how beautiful/hot you think we are. If you don't, we will lose interest, and like the proverbial bus, there are plenty of hot guys out there in line waiting for you to step aside. Remember, a hotwife is already married. She's just looking for a little fun on the side, maybe someone hot and wonderful enough to stick around and be more than just a side dish. If she's not getting enough herself, she'll drop you like a hot potato and you won't get a second chance. 

Now, go out and get yourself a hotwife and have fun! Make sure you get yourself tested first---she'll want to go bareback--I know I like it better that way. 

Love, 
Anna XO

Mr. Passive earns a new nickname on our 2nd date!

I was getting so turned on waiting for Mr. Passive to come to my house and fuck me, I decided to play a little dress-up and take some pics of myself to send to him. I put on white stockings, a blue and white polka-dotted garter, matching bra and stilettos. Makeup and hair turned out sexy, I felt sexy, and started snapping away. (I will post a couple of these for you as soon as I can). A sexy pic of my stockinged legs. Sent to him in a text. 'I'm ready for you", I wrote. "Hot babe!" he answered, then, "I'm 10 minutes away." I sent him two more, just to tease him. He loved them. "Shit babe I'm trying to drive!" he LOL'd me. "I"m going to crash!" haha good. Just the effect I wanted.

I told him to park where he did last time--a spot just outside the first garage door of my house. In complete view of my nosy neighbor unfortunately, since there's really no other spot other than the cul de sac which is covered in snow at the moment. Fortunately, he always shows up in a nice suit, so if she ever got nosy, I'd just tell her the "truth"--he's our financial planner! (he IS one, just not ours....not yet anyway!)

I saw him drive up in his pretty blue Mercedes and my heart started pounding in my chest. I was glad we'd already gone through the whole meeting-in-public thing last time and brought him back here. He was familiar now, and I knew he was gentle and sweet, and very good in bed. I was practically panting when he came to the door, and as soon as we said our "hi's" and my dog checked him out and gave his approval, he just held me and kissed me. It wasn't a perfunctory "hello kiss", no, this was a very long, very sexy juicy kiss.  I was almost uncomfortable; I was used to guys who were more like "wham, bam thank you ma'am" than someone so tender. I kissed him passed the discomfort and realized how much I was enjoying kissing him. I couldn't help myself and grabbed him by his hips and pulled him as close to me as possible, feeling his growing erection on my groin.  I can't remember the last time anyone ever kissed me like that! Thinking about it later it reminded me of the first time a boy french kissed me at age 16 at a party; it seemed to go on forever but was so enjoyable I knew I never wanted to stop.

I'm sure I was the one who finally stopped the kiss--I wanted to get him upstairs and naked! I had put on a dress and blouse over my matching bra and garter set and wanted to strip for him. He knew what was on underneath because of the pics I'd sent and commented that he loved my strappy heels. He's short--probably 5'9"--but I'm tiny and only about 5'6"with heels so the kissing put our bodies in the perfect alignment.  I was ready for him and couldn''t wait another second.

We broke apart and giggled like teenagers, shy and embarrassed. Holding hands, I led him upstairs to the bedroom I share with my husband. He and I've been in this bed before, and I couldn't wait to have him again.

He took off his suit jacket and started loosening his tie. I love this part. The anticipation. I love undressing each other and stripping down. I helped him, and when he had his dress shirt and tie off, shoes and socks off, he coyly looked at me and said, "do the pants come off too?" I smiled and bit my lip and said, "oh yes!" and proceeded to unbuckle his belt, unzip his pants--my VERY favorite thing in the world to do--and slip his pants off. He had on a hilarious (to me) pair of undies--tighty camouflage ones and I cracked up. "Very cute!" I told him. He laughed too. He took off my blouse for me and I pulled my skirt off and revealed the sexy bra and garter belt for him. He put his hands on my hips and pulled me close to him and as he started to kiss me again, moaned, "very hot, girl!"

I loved kissing him, and I loved how he wasn't the grabby, "get to the action" kind of guy. He was sweet, and slow, and that's why I named him Mr. Passive. It's probably not a very good name anymore; I think I may call him Mr. Passionate instead. Because he is SO passionate. He seems to have sex more like making love than raw sex. It's soooo nice. I feel comfortable and safe with him, and always want more. And the best thing about kissing is it turns me on, like a light switch and I'm ready to go.

He laid on his back on my bed, stretched out and held out his arms like he owned the fucking thing. Did he even think about the fact that he was in another man's bed? With another man's wife? It sure didn't seem like he gave a fuck. And why should he? I was here. I had my husband's permission to have him here, in OUR bed. He was laid out like a fabulous piece of filet mignon at the butcher's--and I was buying the whole fucking cow. I was salivating at the sight of his small but hard muscular physique and those sparkling blue eyes staring at me. 

With garter belt and heels still on, I straddled him and grinded my vagina on his hard cock as I kissed him. He allowed me to do whatever I wanted, and goodnaturedly just laid there and let me take charge. I was so hungry I didn't know where to begin! I loved the way he watched everything I did; I took my mouth off his lips and nibbled his neck, which he seemed to really respond to. His hips started rocking under me and I was so wet already I could've just pulled off those silly undies of his and stuck his dick in me, but I didn't. I was enjoying the build-up.

I sucked and nibbled and licked his neck, and with my tongue, slowly licked him down his chest and teased his tummy. I love a man's tummy. It's soooo sexy, and I hadn't realized it before but he's got 6-pack abs. I love how right under a man's tummy is that beautiful little pleasure trail that leads to the treasure! Mmmmm yummy. I could only barely smell his cologne and as I mouthed his tummy, I breathed in his manly smells. I was so hungry for him. 

I used my mouth to tease his cock through his silly undies. I love seeing a hard cock through undies. It's so sexy. I love to tease myself and delay seeing a man's cock by playing with it through our clothes. I think total nakedness isn't as sexy as leaving on just a little bit of clothing--like you're just too horny to bother taking all your clothes off! But Mr. Passionate (his new name, remember) leaned over and took my bra off and started to play with my breasts as I sucked his cock through his underwear. I smiled at him, and put my breasts in his face to suck on and I once again straddled him and grinded his cock with my crotch. I could feel my pussy dripping I was so turned on. I couldn't wait to have him inside me.

I gently pulled his undies off and finally let his big hard cock out. I playfully teased it by letting my long, soft hair swish over it. I love doing that! His cock twitched in approval and I finally took it in my mouth and gave him the blowjob he was hungry for. I love giving oral sex on a guy so I stay down there a long time; not like so many girls who just do a perfunctory few licks. I licked and sucked him till he nearly came, then I pulled my mouth off. He gave me a big smile and grabbed me by my hips and pulled me onto him again for some more deep-mouthed kissing. Mmmm yummy. I pulled myself apart, sat up, and reached for a condom. It was time. 

Putting a condom on is so fucking sexy. I love the whole part of it---holding the package in my hand, tearing it open, and especially putting it on. Even buying them is fucking sexy. You and the clerk just know what you're going to do with them and I find that a huge turn-on. So I slowly tore it open, took the pale, limp condom out, and loving put it on the tip of his cock and together he and I smoothed it over his hard dick. Mmmmm so fucking sexy! More than not using a condom, it says blatantly, "fuck me now!" So that's what I did. 

I put that condom-covered hard cock of his inside me and being on top, my other favorite, fucked him hard while he just relaxed and enjoyed the ride. I wanted to show him I am no slouch. I'm not one of those girls that just lays there; oh no, I enjoy taking charge. I was his cowgirl and he was my pony and I loved riding him. Mmmm. It was the dead of winter outside but I got so sweaty fucking him I stopped to open a small side window and let in some fresh, cool winter air. It felt so good.

He was clearly enjoying watching me on top of him and letting me do the work. I was getting tired and he sensed it; he gently flipped me on my side and then onto my back. I couldn't believe how long this guy could fuck me without coming. I love love love fucking these young guys; they don't get tired easily and neither do I. He just fucked me and fucked me, and it felt amazing. He sometimes held me close and other times he'd kind of sit up. We were getting so sweaty, which I absolutely love. Hot and passionate and sweaty. We then laid side by side; I dripped lube on his throbbing cock and rubbed it and he fingered my clit till I came. I remembered how I couldn't ever cum with any guy other than my hubby; now my goal was to cum with every guy or girl I sleep with. I came so fast; i hoped he knew how turned on I was.

I wasn't in a hurry like last time--I didn't have to go to work but I did have to pick up one of my kids from school, so when I got an opportune moment, I reached over and checked my phone for the time. I couldn't believe we'd been fucking for more than an hour! We both said we were doing fine on time. It was time to change position again. He was going for the cum shot--we had texted about it and I told him to "surprise me." I love watching a man cum, he didn't always have to cum inside me, so I was really excited what he was going to choose.

He flipped me over, gently again, and wanted me doggy style. I like this position but it's not my favorite cuz for some reason, if it goes on too long, it makes me feel like I have to pee so it's kind of uncomfortable, especially if the guy is big, but I know guys just love fucking a girl from behind. I do like the way it hits my G-spot and it's pleasurable at the same time. As he's fucking me, just nonstop like a 24 year old would fuck, I'm grabbing the down comforter and screaming into it with every thrust.  After what seemed like an eternity--damn this guy could fuck and fuck forever--I had such a mix of pain and pleasure and I didn't know how much longer I could stand it--I felt him flick the condom off and cum all over my ass. My body collapsed down on the comforter and I released my grip on it. It was very erotic and I was exhausted and still turned on.

He was on his knees and holding the used condom; I sat up and took it from him and put it in the toilet (can't have kids finding it in trash!!!). I didn't flush it tho; I went back to him and we laid together, panting and sweaty. It was a beautiful sexy moment. We laid there, and he chatted, he was so awesome! I felt like we were really getting close. He was clearly comfortable with me. He didn't need to jump up and run out the door (like Mickey??? Hello??). He put his arm around me and I laid my head on his shoulder as he (mostly) talked about his job. He was confiding in me and I felt happy. I felt like I was getting what I always wanted from Mickey--not just a sex partner but a lover. Mickey never let me get close to him; eight years off and on together and he's still just a stranger. 

After at least 15-20 minutes, we both agreed it was time to go. We got dressed together--I had to go find something else to wear to pick up my kid--and he chatted the whole time. He is so comfortable in his skin and around me, and I feel the same way. I asked him if he wanted to shower before his next client, and he said no, just splashed some water on his face and ran his fingers through his short brown hair. I watched him, his blue eyes just gleaming in the mirror, and I noticed for the first time he had a small cleft in his chin. I felt warm all over just watching him.  I gave him a fluffy hand towel to dry his face and hands on. He said "thanks" sweetly and it felt good to be there with him, in the bathroom I share with my husband. Another man at HIS sink, using HIS faucet and soap. It was so sexy and naughty.

We walked downstairs together, and kissed at the door. It was a short kiss, but he said, "let me know when you're available...let's get together again soon!" I said I would, I definitely would. And with that, he walked away to his car, and I shut the front door, and giggled.

I texted my hubby--"He just left--are you on your way yet?" and he texted back, "around the corner baby!" I was already so sore from Mr. Passionate, but I knew my afternoon of sex wasn't over yet. My hubby was turned on from my slutty escapade and we still had an hour before my kid's school was out. I went back upstairs and put the bra and garter back on for my hubby, spritzed on some perfume, and heard the door open and close. I smiled thinking about the last two hours spent with another man, and how I was still turned on and couldn't wait to fuck my hubby. What a lucky woman I am!

My Slutty afternoon--I'm still smiling

I knew the moment our eyes met that I wanted to go back to my place and fuck him. I was sitting at the bar of a nice Mexican restaurant that was pleasantly dim-lit and bustling with the typical business-man lunch crowd. I was uncomfortable enough sitting alone at a bar all dressed up and I noticed with all the guys staring at me. Even the busboys, all Hispanic, one-by-one kept making excuses to come up and see if I needed anything. I was bemused. I ordered a Grey Goose and sugar-free Red Bull. It was one o'clock in the afternoon. Mr-Same-Name-as-my-Hubby finally agreed to meet me--he suggested a Starbucks but I knew I needed a drink.  I was so nervous, horny and excited, and I felt like such a slut. I hoped I didn't run into anyone I knew.

I got there a little early to get my bearings. I was glad I did. I'd finished about half my vodka when Mr. Good Looking walked in. He spotted me right away. I smiled in relief when I saw him. He was definitely as cute as his pics. He was smaller than I imagined--about 5-9, small in stature but very good looking.  Short black hair, very blue eyes, a dimple in his chin and full sexy lips. Mmmmm. He was dressed in a nice blue suit, white dress shirt, and simple blue and black striped tie. Yum. 

I got up and gave him a welcome hug.  We were both smiling. I felt at ease with him instantly. He had a calm demeanor, and we seemed to click right away.  I was wearing a sexy black knit mini-skirt, black leggings, and 4-inch black velvet stillettos and a navy blue blouse that showed off my cleavage. I felt pretty good about my looks and I liked all the attention I was getting.  He sat down next to me and just ordered a glass of water. Conversation flowed easily; he seemed comfortable in his own skin and clearly a good listener as well as a speaker. He's a financial planner; very successful at only age 25. I was impressed but he talked in such a way that wasn't braggy. I really liked him.I could smell his cologne and I was getting so wet staring at his sexy mouth as he talked.

We chatted for about a half hour, and I felt like I could spend all day talking with him. BUT---we met later than I had planned (he'd had an appointment) and I had to work at 3:00 so I glanced at my iphone and saw that it was almost 2:00! I smiled and said, "well, we'd better get going if we're going to have any fun." He smiled and said, "Let's go!" He followed me in his brand-new Mercedes to my house. Thankfully, it was only a 10 minute drive. I couldn't wait to get that suit off of him.

I gave him a very brief tour of the main floor of my house, and he met my over-zealous dog and they liked each other instantly. I took this as a good sign.  Chatting about something, I don't remember what, I led him upstairs to my bedroom. To the bedroom I share with my husband, who shares the same name as him. We had less than an hour, but I knew it would be perfect.

I closed my bedroom door, and he was standing by my bed. He took off his jacket, and seeing that it was a very nice suit jacket, I offered to hang it up for him. He politely accepted. "To keep the dog hair off" I laughed. I went into my walk-in closet and hung it up for him, and when I came back, he was still completely dressed otherwise. I slowly loosened up his tie, which he then took off. I unbuttoned all the buttons on his dress shirt and loosened up his belt, and then I pulled him close to me and kissed him. Mmm I wanted him so badly and loved rubbing up against the hard cock in his pants. I love this part of lovemaking--the "just before" part. Where the desire is SO strong and you know what's ahead. The anticipation. I love to make it last.

He was so gentle, I felt instantly relaxed. I knew I could take charge with this guy. I was making out with him, fully clothed. It was electric. I remembered I had to get to work soon so we had to get busy. I loosened up his belt and unbuttoned the top button of his pants. He took them off and I got down to my lavendar panties and bra. He giggled about taking off his socks. With his T-shirt still on, I laid down on the bed and he climbed on top of me. We kissed and made out, but he was very passive. Not like my hubby or Mickey, who quickly grab and suck my breasts. He didn't even try to lick my pussy. (Maybe it was the time factor-if I get another chance with him we'll see).  He did finger me and played with my clit. Mmmm I wanted more. Damn job!!

We were laying now side-by-side, and I couldn't wait to put his hard cock in my mouth. I gave him the best BJ I'm sure he's ever had (hehe) and then reached over to my side table drawer and pulled out a condom. He tore it open and put it on--I do think that is incredibly sexy!--and I climbed on top of him and put that big dick inside me. He fucked me hard. Mr. Passive fucked me hard and after a 6-month dry spell (yes, Jake was my last other guy besides my hubby!) it felt so fucking good to fuck a new guy. I couldn't get enough. I didn't want to stop. I considered calling in sick to work right in the middle of fucking him. We went at it hard, changing positions, and just fucking, fucking, fucking. It was awesome. 

His body was small; like Mickey's, but his cock wasn't (just like Mickey's). Mmmm, maybe something will develop with this hottie and I can forget about Mickey once and for all.

As much fun as we were having, I needed him to cum so I could get to work! He knew it too and told me, "turn around". He wanted me doggy-style. He put his hands on my hips and fucked me harder than he had all afternoon; I was grabbing onto the comforter with both hands as tight as I could and screaming into it. It felt amazing. Sure enough, he came hard and grabbed me from behind and held me tight. After he pulled out, I took the condom off for him and went to the bathroom and flushed it. I came back and he was shaking. "Are you ok?" I asked him. "Yeah", he said, "That was awesome!" I told him yeah, it was, and that I was sorry I had to go so quickly. That I wish we had more time together. He agreed.

I went to get my dorky uniform, and he was putting his suit back on. Damn he looked hot. I love a good-looking guy in a suit--I love taking it off of them!! I grabbed my clothes and got dressed next to him. It was fun, I couldn't help but just watch him. It was sexy. His blue eyes really shone in the daylight sun coming through my bedroom windows.

We hurried downstairs and when we got to the door, I stopped and held him for a moment. I gave him a kiss and looked him in those blue eyes and said, "will I see you again?" and he said, "yes, definitely!" I said, "Oh good!" and we left. I had a smile all the way to work (btw I was 10 minutes late!) and I'm still smiling.

If you really want to impress me, call me at 4 am.......

B called me at 4 am this morning and told me he wants me to come see him as soon as I get to LA! I can't wait to see him. I feel so comfortable with him--he's so sexy, so comfortable in his own skin. He is just easy to be around. He makes me feel so sexy and he just adores me. I hope he does get me pregnant--i'll have him in my life forever. Chances are 50-50 so we'll see. I really don't know why it's so important to him--I'm happy to just keep him my fuck-buddy, we have such a good time together. And I love that I'm his "dirty little secret". Well, I'd like to be more--damn wouldn't it be cool to be on his arm at some red carpet event?? Damn. Who knows. If I have his baby, the press will eventually find out. I like that I know a side of him no one else knows, cuz he is so comfortable with me.  I love the way he looks right into my eyes when he talks to me, those big brown eyes. I told my BFF about his new commercial and sent her his pic and she was like, DAMN he's HOT!!!!!!!!! I told her, yes, he is! I can't wait to grab that luscious long wavy brown hair in my fist while I ride him. Mmmmm 2 weeks!!!

Mickey is AWOL since I texted him I bought a plane ticket to come see him. I haven't heard a peep. I told him tickets were so cheap I decided to just come see him--that I remembered what he said (meaning about "having me in his life sexually right now is not healthy for me") and that I just wanted to have dinner---that I just want to gaze into those gorgeous blue eyes. No response yet. I'm biting at the bit to keep from contacting him--but going to just sit tight.

In the meantime, I'm writing Mr. Irish Accent daily and keeping in great shape for my romp with B (and hopefully Mickey). I'm down to 123 and look pretty good. I'm happy to say I don't think I need to lose any more weight! I'm all muscle now, what with 2 hours of tennis 5 days a week and weightlifting.

On a different note, my hubby's talking about taking a trip to go see his GF, the one that came here. I have to let him go and not make a fuss---it's only right, right?? Although it wasn't part of our original agreement....I get to do what I want so it's only fair. I don't feel threatened by her so maybe she's the right one for him to do this with.

It's funny---B, and Damien, and all these hot 20-something guys, but all my heart wants is Mickey. I'm really trying to leave him alone. He WILL come back to me, he always does. She's 20 for God's sake. And he's a confirmed committment phobe. I just have to sit tight.

Maybe, just maybe, I'll fall for someone else. I really really really want to. I did fall for Jake, but that ended badly. I wish I knew why. He really made me forget Mickey. That relationship had such promise, but maybe it was all in my head. I KNOW I can get over Mickey if I can just find someone to replace him. I've BEEN looking my dear readers! I really have! And I'm STILL looking!

Tomorrow night I will write about my hubby's GF's visit last month. I promise.

Stay tuned.

Love,
Anna XOXO

Still looking for Mr. Right Now--I might've found him!

Not content to sit around and wait for Mickey to decide what he wants, I turn to my dating website to find some fresh meat. There are so many hot guys on there--the problem is so many just end up exchanging pics and chickening-out when it comes time to meet. BUT---I found someone new--he is a hottie who lives about an hour away with an Irish accent!! He's half my age, and has the most beautiful smile and sparkly brown eyes. He has perfectly straight teeth, and a sexy, disarming smile. So so cute. We have been writing on yahoo messenger all week and we are meeting on Saturday!!  His name is Damian and he's fucking hot. Just the right guy to help me break my unintended sexual sabbatical! Thankfully he lives alone and I'm driving to meet him near where he lives. He's invited me to spend the night....mmmmm I'm thinking about it! I love the pics he's sent me and he loves mine so I'm really hoping he'll be worth the hour drive! I will keep you all updated. Cross you fingers! I could use a hunk like him right now. His compliments and constant attention right now picks me up when I'm down and obsessing over you-know-who. Who, by the way, was online 24/7 and has now gone completely AWOL. His facebook has gone private too. Can't read a thing anymore. Do you think this is all directed at me? How would I know? Enough, Anna, enough.

I'm so annoyed at Mickey's lack of response---my insides are literally tied up in knots wondering what the fuck is going on with Mickey--especially since I looked up "Domestic Partnership" and it says that in his state it is, and I quote, "....almost equivalent to marriage." What I don't know is have they legally done something or was it just, "hey, we're on facebook and we are living together so since there's no "living together" choice they picked this one? Who knows. I know that I'm getting really stalker-ish lately trying to get answers--so I've decided to just stop. I can't keep torturing myself. I didn't really buy a ticket to go see him anyway. I'm not sitting around waiting for an answer. His silence is screaming, "I don't know what to do here!!!"My BFF told me give it a few more days and then send him a text that I hadn't heard from him and that I'm excited to see him, etc. I don't know. I'm tempted to just do nothing. Let him go. I don't want to push him into her arms trying hard to "be a good boy"--HIS words.\

I'm annoyed with myself, and him. He's such an asshole. Why can't he just talk to me like a regular person???? If he's serious about her, why can't he just fucking say it?????

I'll tell you all about my date with Damian as soon as I can! I sure hope there's a spark. He is so cute from his pics so we'll see.

All I know is, I'm ripe for some good ol' fashioned fucking!!!!!

NEW PIC FOR MY READERS!

Hello everyone! I thought you all deserved to see that I'm real, so here I am. I posted a pic of my face for you all.

My vibrator and I give Mickey a show he'll never forget

"You're soooooo pretty!!" Mickey cooed into the phone to me, gazing at me onscreen with somewhat sad puppy dog eyes. We were on yahoo messenger this morning, both on our webcams, and neither of us could stop smiling. It was so wonderful seeing his face again, after such a long time, and he clearly was happy to see mine as well.

The familiar chime on my iPhone woke me up about 3 minutes before my alarm was set to go off. "Hey", Mickey texted. We chatted off and on for about an hour while I got my kids off to school. Happily he said, "want to get on webcam?" and I decided right then and there that this offer was better than my plans to hit the gym, so I said, "Sure! Gimme 10 minutes. I want to look good for you." I turned on my curling iron and put on a little bit of makeup, found a sexy red lacy nightgown that showed off my breasts (Mickey's favorites) and I was online.

The minute I saw his face I started smiling. He was smiling too. It was wonderful. Like no time had passed. He looked as hot as ever, his long black hair all disheveled around his face, his lip ring dangling ever so teasingly, his full-sleeve tattoos so colorful and sexy. He was wearing a black T-shirt, and I was just salivating. Then he moved his laptop so I could see better--and he had his cock and balls peeking out from his underwear, these "tighty-whitey" undies in green and blue. I was shocked and laughed and wrote, "very hot!" He laughed and tucked them back in.

We wrote to each other as we gazed nervously at each other. I suggested Skype since on that webcam you can talk to each other. I told him I wanted to hear his voice. He couldn't remember his Skype name (yay, means he hasn't been using it with some other girl). I saw him pick up his phone, and I was tempted to write, 'who are you calling?" cuz that's really bad ettiquette--to be on webcam and call someone else. I was miffed instantly, until I heard his song, "Mickey" by Toni Basil start playing. He was calling ME!! haha (joke was on me!) I looked at my phone and sure enough, there was his face, the pic I'd chosen, and his name.

I answered in my best Lauren Bacall voice, a husky, "hey you", and he sounded just as sexy back. It was so wonderful, hearing his voice again. I told him so. He said all the right things again, just as always. After a few minutes he pulled out his cock again and started touching himself. He said, "show me those beautiful tits of yours", so I pulled down the red straps to my nightgown and gave him a little glimpse. Teasing him. He rubbed himself watching and yeah, I was getting very turned on! The whole time this was going on, he was talking to me, telling me how much he wanted me to come see him. He said, "I'm off work on Mondays and Tuesdays, and if you come then I'll get to spend the whole night with you." I smiled inside and out and said I'd see what I could do. Hubby travels a lot with work and the kids have school weekdays so not sure but I'd see what I could arrange. He told me, "Just give me a date." I said I'd let him know. I told him I hadn't bought a plane ticket yet so I'd check and see what I could do.

He also told me he was in trouble of being fired. That poor guy has issues, for sure, but he's always been a good worker. He's had this job like 6 years, so I asked him what's going on. He said, "they're douchebags!" and didn't want to talk about it. I let it go. He just wanted to focus on me.

He kept asking me, "when are you coming here?" lol then I broached the subject that was lingering in the air---what about his GIRLFRIEND?!?! He said, "let's not go there right now", so I laughed and said, "ok". I said, "I know you're not in love with her. You told me so." He said, "you're right, I'm not." I said, 'You're in love with me!" Now he has NEVER used the "L" word with me, and no, he didn't, but he did say, "yeah, that's it", so that made me happy! He said he wants to come visit me and plans to. He said, "I just might move in with you." I said, "really???" ecstatically and he said, "yeah, and it might be soon if they fire me." I said, "don't tease me!" which made him laugh. He was obviously in pain and in his own weird way was reaching out for sympathy, to be understood and heard. He knows I will give it to him.

He asked to see more of me, and I obliged. He was very complimentary and kept gently telling me what he wanted me to do, and what he wanted to do to me when I come to visit. He also asked where my hubby was several times, and that sometime he wanted to watch us both having sex. I told him, 'sure! that would be fun!" Since he has seen it in person I'm sure he'd like to watch us again. He said he wants to DP me with my hubby. I've never done that with anyone, not really crazy about the idea but said for him I'd try it. I trust them both to be gentle and to stop if I asked them to. So, WTF, I told him yeah, that would be ok. It was all fantasy right now anyway. Then he slipped off his undies and was just in his T-shirt. I said, 'Take off your T-shirt!" and he refused! I was like, WTF? Ok whatever! I said I want to see your chest. I love all your tats, I want to see them. He giggled and said, 'no, I've gained a few pounds", so I respected that. LOL Even though I couldn't see a trace of fat anywhere. He looked the same to me.

He asked if I had any toys. Yep of course I do! I told him, and went to get a vibrator. I grabbed the first one I found, and the batteries were dead LOL and we both laughed. I used it anyway, and he said he wanted to watch me come. And of course, since we were on the phone together, he heard all my heavy breathing and panting, and he stroked his cock harder and harder as I got more and more excited. Which I did for him, right there on camera. I've never done THAT before for anybody! It was so exciting. OMG I was splayed out on my bed, legs spread, back arched and stroking myself with a purple vibrator and watching him stroking his cock, watching me, holding the phone with his other hand, and that gaze in his eyes, very sexy. Since the batteries were dead I had to work that thing back and forth but it worked, I had a huge orgasm right there on camera for my Mickey. He loved it. I was a bit embarrassed afterward but he thanked me and kept telling me how much he loved it and couldn't wait to be with me.

After a few more minutes, he said he had to go. I said I did too, and I blew him a kiss onscreen for him and said goodbye. He was looking right at me and smiled, and gave me a "bye" in that sexy, breathy voice of his.  I don't know if the GF came in the room or what. After I clicked "off", I could still see him onscreen, and he kept stroking his cock for about a minute then turned off the camera. He didn't come, and that was disappointing, but oh well. It was still awesome.

I can't believe what that boy does to me. I'm old enough to be his mom, AND his girlfriend's mom. He's 27 and she's 20. But he doesn't see me that way. I'm a woman, a REAL woman, and he knows I'm crazy about him.

I think I'm going to be smiling a lot today.

Hello dear readers, hope you're all enjoying this wonderful summer. I had a nightmare about snow last night LOL I just don't want this warm weather to end! I like walking around in a cami and Daisy-Dukes and flip-flops. I just can't imagine Uggs and gloves and all. Bleh!

Enough of that.

My phone has been busy as usual--haven't heard a peep outta Mickey for about a week, but B has kept me so busy I haven't missed him. He calls me almost every day, texts me constantly. Hubby and I talked over the weekend and we decided to try for his baby! I knew B was waiting to hear from me, so yesterday I just sent him this text--"Let's make a baby sexy man!" and that got the floodgates going!

O-M-G I can't describe what it feels like to have him call me all the time. This gorgeous, Johnny Depp lookalike actor and model on a very famous TV show. My kids would recognize him immediately. What would it be like to REALLY have his baby?? It would mean that he'd be in my life forever. It would mean getting to know him well, having him around. It's so weird. I remember being at his house, and the guys from his show called and they were getting together for a BBQ. I sooo badly wanted to go. I wanted to be asked. I wasn't. He didn't ask me to go with him. I remember feeling hurt and stupid and so skanky----I was good enough to sleep with but not pretty or famous enough to go to a cast party. It stung but I knew I had just met him and maybe in the future I'd be invited.

Well we moved clear across the country---and even though we're 1800 miles apart, he has apparently never stopped thinking about me. I asked him yesterday, "why me?" I mean, he's around gorgeous models all the time, and other famous actresses. He could get anyone. He just sighed and said he didn't want anyone else (to have his baby). He's not professing his love for me. I said, "you're crazy, you know that? " with a laugh. He told me I was crazy too. I said yeah I am. I really don't get him but whatever. I know I could fall in love with him, he's the most perfect looking guy I've ever seen, hung like a horse, but oh so sweet and tender and actually I sense he's fragile. The big ego hides it.

Darin is still in the picture, writes me on yahoo messenger almost every day. Just waiting till he says he's coming to town and we'll hook up. He's sooo fucking hot. I love his lip ring. Drives me nuts.

Remember Danny, the Abercrombie model?? OMG I was in the mall shopping for back-to-school clothes for my daughter, and there he was, a full-size wall pic of him waist up! I almost shit my pants. I just smiled and thought to myself about our nasty Skype fun and when I had a private moment, looked on my phone of the naked pics of him I took while he was on Skype. Yummmy. Damn! I must text him and see if the compliment hooks him back.

Back to B--he wanted to know when. I told him my band was going on tour and we needed to get together when we get back, that I'd go to the doctor and make sure I was good to go. Truth is, my friends, I doubt I can get pregnant. I went into early menopause (like 10 years too early!) but not sure of my fertility. I told him the truth and we'll see what doctor says. Would I lie just to fuck him again?? Absolutely!!

Another one bites the dust--and Mickey sniffs around again

About 3 days after our sexy weekend,  Jake stopped texting me. I don't know what I did wrong. Here we go again. Same situation, different guy. WTF!?!?!?! I'm so sick of this.  GUYS LISTEN UP OUT THERE----TELL US THE TRUTH.

Or give us a gentle lie. Here are the reasons I've come up with why Jake doesn't want anything to do with me again:

1. He's found someone else. (she's younger, cuter, funnier, dresses better, etc.)
2. He's starting to fall for me and it can't go anywhere cuz I'm married
3. I said something I shouldn't have (told him I missed him)
4. I did something I shouldn't have (texted him)
5. He saw me as a piece of ass. (and I saw him as something more)


There are a lot more choices but they're so pathetic I can't bring myself to write them. It's bad enough how much I've beaten myself up over it. I have been in a funk ever since. I can't even listen to music lately--every song just seems to get on my nerves.

Here's what I know--like a detective trying to solve a case--he told me I was the best he'd ever had. He said it sincerely. (he's only 18---I believed him!) And as great as the sex was, it was the way he held me all night long that did it for me. I've never been with a guy that liked to cuddle all night long the way he did. It was tender. It wasn't a 'wham-bam-thank you ma'am" at all.

I bought tickets to see his band in concert. We were chatting about it. Then he stopped texting. I didn't think anything of it. Then a day later, I wrote, "the weather is so dreary today--wish I was back in bed with you :)". No response. I waited a WEEK to text back! (I was so proud of myself!) I wrote, simply, "Hi sexy". No response. I waited about 10 hours, then wrote, "I miss you...are we ok?" still no response.

The next day I composed myself and wrote, "Hi Jake, hey I don't know if your phone isn't working or you just don't want to talk to me. So I just want you to know I'm glad I met you. You made me feel things no one has ever made me feel." Then, "You opened up my heart and I was starting to really feel something for you. I honestly hope to see you again." I thought, and waited, no response. 15 min later my closing statement--"And I wish I knew what you were thinking. When I drove away I thought things were fine."

That was a week ago.

I've cried so much over him, it really caught me by surprise. I realize the good that's come out of it, and I don't regret him at all. I am completely over Mickey, who, by the way, texted me at 6 am today out of the blue. Said he misses me like hell. I think he fell asleep cuz he stopped texting but the difference is I DON'T HONESTLY CARE ANYMORE. It's a great feeling. I'm free from Mickey. I don't think he can hurt me again. I'm too wrapped up in Jake.

I guess it's not Jake I miss so much, he's merely the messenger. I got the best sex of my life, and I felt loved. For that night, I was loved. He loved me the only way he knows how, with his body. He can't give me any more. And I want more. Nearly 20 years I've been married, and I got something from someone else I've never had. It was amazing.

My self-esteem has taken such a beating though. I can't help but pick apart everything I said, looking for the "deal breaker", as Dr. Phil would say. Something I said, or did, caused him to say or feel, "that's a deal breaker. I'm done with her." BUT WTF WAS IT?????

I swear, whatever I've thought of can't be worse than what it was. I know I didn't fart. I'm a great lover. He told me so. We had 2 amazing nights together. I know he was smitten with me. He told me he told his friends about me. So, where did it all go wrong??

Well, I'll probably never know.

But I have a new fantasy.

His band is going on tour. They have 17 gigs this month. I am NOT texting him (not even tempted actually--I can't take being ignored). We have tickets to his concert July 1st. I"m going to look amazing, and go up to see him afterward. He will be happy to see me, I know he will. And who knows--he may get lonely on tour. He told me he's not excited about being cooped up with his bandmates in dinky motel rooms for a month.

I'm going to give him a chance to miss me. Maybe he will, maybe he won't. If I was truly the best he'd ever had, and if he was getting feelings for me too, he will miss me. And he will contact me. If not, I will just show up after his concert and say hi.  Maybe he will be wondering, as he sits alone in those motel rooms, "did she buy tickets? Is she coming to see me?" and maybe, just maybe, he'll text me. I'm hoping he will. It's my favorite fantasy, I think about it constantly.

And at 7:45 am today (5:45 Mickey's time), I was dropping my daughter off at school when I got a text. From Mickey. It's been since May 20th since I last heard from him. Took him 3 weeks to miss me, but miss me he does. I was happy to see his name pop up on my screen. I just sat and looked at it, and smiled. We wrote back and forth for about 15 min and then he stopped texting. At least this time I don't really care if he writes back or not. I absolutely love how he doesn't have the power to hurt me right now. Does this mean I'm really over him??? After 6 years?? Yes, I think it does. And it's a wonderful feeling. I can enjoy his attention but I don't need it anymore.

I'm back on the dating website, and I'm juggling like 6 guys right now. Not that I want to. It's that they show interest, we exchange pics, and 90% of them turn out to look nothing like their profile pics, or they live too far, or "how about next week?" so whatever. Right now really the only one I want to hear from is Jake but it ain't happening, so I'm looking for my next lover.

I'll let you know what Mickey does next. I invited him to come visit me. I'm not holding my breath.

Another boxboy for me!

Just as I have been wondering where all the hot guys are in this city we just moved to---I found him.!!!!!!Where else??? A GROCERY STORE!!!!!!!!!!! There are so many grocery stores here, seriously, like 5 or 6 nearby. But my favorite isn't the closest---I can't say the name of it but anyway, I go out of my way to go there cuz it's really huge, got everything. And I mean everything!!! I was in last Friday, a huge cartfull, and I was eyeing the lines to see which was the shortest.

And there he was---a checker, not a boxboy-----he reminded me of Mickey!!! Short, punk-y black hair, diamond stud earrings in each ear, about 5'9" and Mickey's build. A beautiful white smile. He looked young---I thought, hmmm, well, he's a checker, not a boxboy, so he must be at least 20.  I was instantly smitten. I caught my breath and pushed my cart into his line (which was the longest, of course).  When it was my turn, he started the conveyor and he was grabbing my bags of salad and all and scanning them. He looked at me and said something like, "hi Ma'am, how are you today Ma'am?" I was so smitten I couldn't talk. I hated the "ma'am's" and cringed everytime he said it, but I couldn't breathe let alone correct him!!! He was SO fucking cute, my heart was pounding. Thank God I looked good!

He messed up my checkout--I was halfway out to the parking lot and he called after me, "ma'am!" I turned around and was surprised to see him running towards me. He said he forgot to charge me for the greeting cards he'd put aside for last and did I still want them? I said I did so I followed him back into the store. He apologized profusely and I was SO smitten I couldn't even talk. I just quietly stood there smiling at him! What an idiot!!!

BUT---- I honestly couldn't stop thinking about him! I got all dolled up in my best jeans and tight-Tshirt and Converse and went in hoping to see him yesterday--and yes! There he was again! My heart leapt and I had an instant smile on my face. I didn't want to buy too much--it would look like I had an army back at my house LOL so I just got some salad things and a couple bottles of wine (to make me look fun and loose LOL). His line wasn't too busy, just one person ahead of me. Good! I thought---I was determined to talk to him and let him know I was interested in him.

When it was my turn, he looked at me with that amazing smile and bright brown eyes and said, "hello ma'am" I said, "please call me anna". He smiled and said, "ok Anna, how's your day going?" I said bravely,' better now that I see you!' he stopped scanning my groceries and looked up at me and said, "wha--wha--wow-really-oh wow!" he was stunned. I was smiling too. And shaking like a teenager I was so smitten with him! My heart was pounding. He said he'd just come on his shift, came straight from school. He told me he was a senior---"last year of high school". I was sooooooooo bummed!!! I wanted to ask him if he's 18 yet but it didn't segue well enough to ask.

We had a nice chat--I told him I'd just moved here from California and he said he moved from California a year ago too!!! He's from Newport Beach! I was like wow....we talked about the cold winters here and I asked him if he missed the beach. He said yeah, he misses surfing. I was so horny for this gorgeous gulp-probably 17 year old, all I could think about was him in a wetsuit, carrying his surfboard, walking out of the waves, his gorgeous black hair all wet and mussed up, his white teeth and amazing smile, all tan and muscular. That's what I was thinking as he was talking. Oh, and imagining kissing his full soft lips. And riding him, my hands on his shoulders as I fucked him hard. Holding that thick gorgeous hair in one hand, the other around his tiny waist, straddling him and kissing him.

I will have to wait tho till he's old enough!!! I will continue to shop there on days he's there, get to know him. I will ask him when he turns 18 (hopefully SOON!!!) I remember I met Mickey when he was 17. I knew he was off-limits....I actually didn't have a crush on him then, that came later. But this guy--his name is Jon---is worth waiting for too.

I will fantasize and keep working out......I hope he likes older women cuz I want this hottie!!!