"Fifty Shades of Grey"--have you read it?

Okay so I decided I had to find out what all the buzz about this book was about. S&M??? Oooooo!! How fun!!! So I downloaded this book about a month ago and have had such a hard time getting into it.

Here's my opinion so far, and I'm only on chapter 5.

I can't believe this book is so popular first of all; I'm surmising it's because of the subject matter; what other author has written a mainstream erotica book about S&M?? No one. She's truly a pioneer, I'll give her that. But in my opinion, her writing is juvenile at best.

First of all, her characters are SO one-dimensional. They have no depth whatsoever. As a reader, I could care less about either the protagonist or the leading man, Christian Grey. The protagonist is laughable. She is 22 years old, and a not only a virgin (yeah right, and she's drop-dead gorgeous) but she's also never been in love. Never really even kissed a guy. So here she is with the AMAZINGLY PERFECT LOOKING, BILLIONAIRE CHRISTIAN GREY who is head over heels in lust with her. He is textbook "Fabio"--chiseled features, insanely successful, in his twenties and already a billionaire. They are not only unbelievable but they are boring!!! The dialogue lacks any kind of excitement because the characters are not interesting people. They remind me of stick figures who are more like puppets. They keep moving but we don't know why and we soon don't care to find out.

The author's writing reminds me of my writing classes in college where someone has an idea for a novel, and they buy one of those guides, "How to write a novel in 21 days" or something like that. It's like she was copying some sort of formula and just typed it all out without any real feeling. There is no depth to either character. The reader doesn't really care why Christian Grey is enamored with her (Anastasia). She is inept, annoying, and so uninteresting. Other than being horny for him, we know little else about her. There is no back story on her (so far, like I said, I'm on chapter 5) other than she's in college and has a roommate smarter than her. Seriously!!! I am not kidding. That is all we know about her. We do know Christian is adopted and that's about it. He's gorgeous, insanely rich, impeccably dressed, and crazy for her.

At this point where I stopped reading last night (because the book put me to sleep yet again), Christian has just shown her his "playroom"--his S&M room. She's in shock, and she's dismayed because she had hoped for a night of passionate sex and falling asleep in his arms, but he said, "I don't ' make love'. I 'fuck hard'". Then when she admits she's a virgin, he feels sorry for her and tells her he will "make love" to her. Whatever. I don't even care if he changes his mind and kicks her out for being so annoyingly naive and coy. In fact, that would probably make the story more interesting!!!

 I have really struggled to read it just so I can see what all the fuss is. And I will keep punishing myself (hahah, pun intended) to finish it out of mere curiosity. I keep falling asleep so it will take me awhile to finish it.

I do love his name; that's about all I like about this book.

Tell me your thoughts!

He likes it rough....

Oh. My. God.  You should see my hubby's neck! He insists I bite down hard while we're making love. He writhes with pleasure. It's so fucking exciting and disturbing all at the same time. I will do whatever he wants me to do to please him, but it does worry me a little when it's all said and done.

I have known this man for 22 years. That's a lot of fucking and lovemaking. He has never wanted it this rough before. Does he feel the need to be punished for cheating on me?? At first, I really enjoyed hurting him. I slapped him in the face while I was on top of him. It was so erotic. I actually slapped him so hard I gave him a black eye! I had no idea I hit him that hard. He loved it. We have never been like this. I keep thinking this will pass, but there's no sign of him letting up. Guess I'll just enjoy it while it lasts.

What to do about our not-so-open marriage??

Sexy Adam has not forgotten me. He has been patiently waiting for me for over 5 months now. He's been texting me and wanting to hook up. My hubby has encouraged me to do so, but I am wary now. Being that we almost divorced, I think we need to give our relationship some time before we start jumping into other people's beds (or others jumping into ours!!!) Much as it worked for me, clearly, the open marriage didn't work for him, and I'm not about to risk it.

I am wondering what is up with Mickey. Haven't heard a peep out of him. I've been on Yahoo messenger, I've sent him emails. I've tried texting and calling, and discovered he's changed his phone number AND deleted one of his email addresses. BUT---his Facebook is active, adding new "friends" all the time, even though it's set to private it does show when new friends added. Also, his GF has a really touching picture of him on her page, it's her "wall" pic, and he's standing on a deserted dock, holding a dog leash in his left hand, her stupid little dog on the other end of it taking a crap. The pic is from behind, and he looks stunning. Fuck them both. Whatever.

My BFF tells me, "he's done it before. Just relax. He'll be back." Yeah, maybe. We do this dance all the time. Whatever. I do find myself missing him a lot lately.  I know he was quite upset that my H and I were separated and I wanted to tell him our good news that we are back together, but he is AWOL.

Gotta run, hubby almost home. It's Friday and it's happy hour somewhere!

(This post never posted when intended....November 2011)Same old shit, different day

Well it's been 9 days since I last heard from Mickey. Yep, same shit, different day. He's not responding to any of my texts nor answering his phone, not calling me back. WTF here we go again. I'm in major withdrawal and I'm a bitch to live with right now. Thankfully my hubby understands and has been very sweet. I hate this, hate it, hate it, hate it, hate it. Maybe I'll be done with Mickey for good after this. He's done this to me so many times I can't count--and I always take him back.

We were just having the most amazing conversation before the ignoring started--he was seriously talking about moving here! We were making concrete plans. No lie. It was amazing. Then my hubby and I took a small trip and it was amazing--I'll blog about it next time (kids home from Easter break--I gotta write fast!) but Mickey wrote me the whole time. It was great.

Something must've happened in his head or in his life two days after we got back from our trip.

Making up for lost time!

With the exception of one night where I made my hubby PROMISE me "no sex!!" because I was SO sore, we have had sex every single day since we reconciled, sometimes twice a day! We have been definitely making up for lost time! It has been wonderful. After all these years, I realized the difference between "making love" and "having sex", and I think for a long time, all we've really had is "sex".

I always thought merely by having sex with my husband, it was "making love", and having sex with other people was the opposite--just "having sex". If I loved my husband, I was "making love" to him, and if I was just merely "fond" of my other sexual partners, I was "having sex". Until this happened, the INFIDELITIES, this is how I thought.

How wrong I was.

I can't remember my hubby ever being THIS passionate! His kisses are MORE tender, his gaze more focused on making eye contact with me while lovemaking. It is more than sex. It is primal, fulfilling, emotional, intimate. I feel a connection with him I don't think I've really felt in a long, long time. I mean, don't get me wrong, I have always loved having sex/making love with my husband, but it hasn't been this deep emotionally since, well, maybe our honeymoon......19 years ago???

Why now? Why is it suddenly THIS GOOD??? It may be because we've just gone to hell and back. It may be because we have back that feeling of new romance that everyone can identify with. When you first fall in love and you can't get enough of each other. Everything is magnified: lips softer, eyes bluer, skin more sensitive to the slightest touch. Candles flicker warmer, music seems more hypnotic, the fabric of the sheets more sensual. Everything is magnified.

And we have the luxury now of time. Our kids are teens, and are often at friends' houses overnight, or out with their friends or one of our kids has a job. We have more "alone time" than we have had since we were first married. We can finish conversations we start without interruptions, we can watch a TV show without having to get up 16 times to feed/diaper a child; tend to; /answer questions/fix a meal/go look at a bug/wow the cat just brought in a mouse/there's a spider on my wall/etc. etc. etc. It's been awesome!!!!!!

It feels good.