A new look and Anna gets riled up!

Hello you sexy readers out there ;)

I've been thinking about my blog a lot and love love love when I hear from you! Someone pointed out to me that my blog name really wasn't accurate, in that I'm not a swinger (anymore). I couldn't argue with that fact! When I first started this blog in February 2010, my husband and I WERE swingers, so, hence the name, "Diary of a Swinging Housewife". Also, the blog domain name, "We-Swing" is no longer accurate, as a loyal follower pointed out to me. I am grateful for him and today I changed it to better reflect the journey from swinging married couple to ethical non-monogamy. I'm still not sure about the title; it may change again but I do feel like my experiences are leading me to a much wiser position as someone who has been around the block SO many times, I want to teach and lead you all to a better sex life as well as happier, more authentic and fulfilling relationships with your SO's.

Most of my blog posts are experiences I've had but there are posts that are informational such as this favorite of mine

https://naughtyannasguidetogreatsex.blogspot.com/2016/12/is-your-pussy-dry-heres-why.html


In the last seven years, I've posted 209 posts. That's insane! Looking over my blog with the proverbial fine-tooth-comb, I realize that I've shared my heart and soul with you all. I share things with you I wouldn't dare share with anyone who actually knows me. That's how special you all are! Do you realize that?? You, my dear readers, are less judgmental and more accepting of me than family and friends. This fact does bother me on a regular basis, as I wish so much that I could be more authentic myself. Sex is everyone's favorite topic. It's in the news constantly, especially lately with all the allegations of sexual misconduct by all these famous people. If sex is our favorite topic, why do I have to hide behind a pseudonym?? It's for the very reason that in our society, unless you're having vanilla monogamous sex behind closed doors, discreet and un-discussed, you're a freak, you're a sexual deviant, and there's something wrong with you, and you are a threat to society. We use the word "slut" with a wink and a chuckle, because we don't label a woman who enjoys sex without procreation as a negative, but the rest of the world still does, very unfortunately.

Look how white men have tried, and continue to try, to control women's sexuality. Take away our birth control, our rights to abortion, our rights to control our own bodies. The right-wing evangelicals are a threat to our well-being, and yet, here's another one, Judge Roy Moore, who couldn't be more misogynistic and homophobic if he tried, accused by no less than five women now of having had inappropriate conduct with him when they were teenagers. Of course he vehemently denies it! Did anyone think Roy Moore was a decent human being?????

He's really just a metaphor for the whole middle-aged white men, right-wing evangelical movement. I certainly didn't vote for Trump or any of his cronies, because I knew this was where his presidency would go.

I apologize to any middle-aged white men who aren't in that category. I know if you're a reader of my blog you don't subscribe to that mind-set at all. But isn't it interesting that only middle-aged white men are in the so-called "moral majority"??? Do you see any African-Americans in there? Sadly there are a few white women who rally alongside this cluster-fuck of an administration. There's KellyAnne Conway, who someday is going to wake up and realize she's sold her soul to the devil.

We can't go back people. We can't go back to the days of treating women as second-class citizens. How we ever got a president who admitted to just "grab them by the pussy" is beyond me. And now he's overturned Obama's federal protection of African elephants.

Is nothing sacred anymore??????

Sigh.

Well, I will continue to write about sex and enough of the politics. I am a staunch feminist but not the man-hating kind, and I'm not a lesbian. Like I wrote, I love men, I love all kinds of men and I truly believe if more men embrace their feminine side and stand up for the women in their lives, we can overcome gender tyranny. Everyone wins!!!!

It's Friday, go out and get some--bring your lube and wear your condoms but make sure it's consensual!!!!!!!

Love always,

Anna XOXOX

Eskimo Tinder hottie too hot to handle

This has been a strange week. The next day after my date from hell with Gorilla Man, I went back on Tinder (of course :) ) and I matched with a real hottie--long, straight caveman hair, slender build, kind of Eskimo features---high cheekbones and perfect skin. Wow. I wanted in his igloo bad. We began messaging and soon he asked for my Snapchat which I liked bc it lets me know right away if they're the real deal. Do they look like their profile pics?? Snapchat weeds them out.

Well he looked EXACTLY like his profile pics. He was truly one of the most beautiful men I'd ever laid eyes on. I sent a selfie back with a cute heart filter. He was just what my bruised ego needed.

UNTIL.....

Moments later, my snapchat was flooded with maybe 10 pics he'd sent from his camera roll. Various full body pics, mostly nudes. He was beautiful, no doubt, but fuck! Nudes already??! I barely just "met" you!! So I wrote him, "slow down cowboy, you're going too fast for me."

And guess what he did??

He deleted me!! And he removed me from his Tinder!!! I laughed so hard. All I could think was, "really?? REALLY??!!

I sure attract crazies don't I???

Tinder date from hell

So I matched with a real cutie about 2 weeks ago. Very cute, blue-eyed recent college grad, 23-years-old, lives 8 miles from me. We hit it off right away, and we moved from texting soley on Tinder to Snapchatting and texting quickly. He would write me 24/7, from early morning while getting ready for work to bedtime every night. It has been wonderful. We wanted to meet but I was going out of town so that delayed it.

I really liked his sense of humor, and his self-deprecating wit. I can't stand insecure guys who just boast about themselves or have a slew of selfies on their profiles. This guy and I had the most fun banter I've had with a guy for a long time, and after Hot Lips (who btw disappeared and hasn't been heard from since with the exception of one very sexy full body naked pic a week later) I decided I was going to go slower with the next hottie and develop something more before I jumped into bed with them.

So things were progressing beautifully with the guy above I nicknamed "Gorilla Man" bc he was the hairiest beast I've ever seen. And if you read my blogs you know I like my guys hair-free for the most part (except the top of their head. Gotta have cave-man hair). Even though he was so young, he said he too was looking for a relationship, and didn't care that I was married and he'd be a side-dish. We talked at length about what kind of a relationship we both wanted, I mean, in 2 weeks we covered a lot of bases. It wasn't mostly sexual bc when he'd get sexual I'd stop him and say it was too soon for that. He liked it. He told me he had a huge crush on me and couldn't wait to meet me. He'd send me snapchats off and on all day too, letting me in more every day. Oh, and he was a chess player, so that turned me on more than those blue eyes.

So we finally chose a day and time to meet--I picked the place--a super cute and quiet coffee house halfway between where we both lived, and we'd play chess. We'd been teasing one another back and forth for days who was going to win. I brought one of my chess sets, and at the last minute, I decided to leave it in the car. I told him I only had an hour (I had a dr appt) so I decided I just wanted to focus on him as it was our first time meeting.

I labored what to wear since the weather turned so cold. I chose a low-cut, blue sundress and leather jacket and my best Guess black leather boots. I felt pretty and confident and since he was so funny in texting I knew I was probably going to really like him. I told myself I would let him kiss me if he walked me to my car. THAT'S how much I liked him already.

So you know from the title that things turned bad, so here it goes.

I got there before him, and sat down. I was nervous and didn't know what to do. I texted him "here!" and soon he wrote, "I'm ordering coffee!" I somehow didn't see him come in. I recognized him immediately. He looked just like all his pics. He was cute and wearing a nice cashmere sweater and jeans. There was one person in line behind him, and I didn't have a coffee yet, and he was already paying so he couldn't order one for me, so feeling playful, I went up behind him and put my hands on his back and said, "HI! I didn't see you come in!!!" He turned around and I think he smiled and said hi and asked where I was sitting. I said I hadn't really picked a place yet. He said "ok" and something about going to find a spot. I said "Okay!" It was at the moment that I realized he was super short (I mean I'm five foot two and maybe five-five in my boots) and he kind of looked.....dwarfish??!! He turned the corner and I hadn't had a good look at him, so I thought, maybe not.

A little discombobulated, I ordered my coffee and decided to give him a chance. I absolutely adored his personality. I was going slow these days after all. I texted my hubby, "He's here. He's cute."

I found him sitting at a cute two-top table off to the side, nice and private, and I smiled and said, "Well hi there!! Nice to meet you!" and sat down. He made eye contact, and he was real cute, as cute as he'd looked in all those Snapchat pics he'd sent. I was actually not too nervous once we got settled.

Within a minute or so he took off the cashmere sweater he was wearing as the coffee house was plenty warm. He joked he was a "T-shirt and jeans" kind of guy, and I could see his hairy chest and I was kind of turned on. He had nice muscled biceps too, and he kind of gave off an Alpha male presence that was super hot.

I noticed he was wearing an Apple watch, and seeing as I love my Fitbit Blaze and have been wanting an Apple watch since last Christmas, I asked him about it. I think it caught my eye bc he kept glancing at it. I get that since my Fitbit Blaze sends me all my texts and phone calls, FB messenger and Snapchats. (it would send Tinder too if I let it). He did make conversation, and I felt it was going well. It was like we picked up where we left off through texting. We were laughing and getting along well.

About maybe 10 minutes in, he looks at his Apple watch again, then picks up his phone, and asks me a strange question. He said, "What's it called, the person who's the brother of your grandpa?" I said, "That would be your grand uncle I believe". He responded with a "hmmm", hand on chin, deep in thought. "He died today", he said nonchalantly. "Oh wow! I'm sorry to hear that!" I responded. He let it go for a minute and asked me about my band, like how often we gig and all that and we joked about singing (he said he's a horrible singer) and it was great banter. Then he picked up his phone and said, "would you mind if I call my mom real quick? I'll be right back." What was I to say? "sure, of course" I said nicely, bewildered.

He got up, phone to his ear, and walked around me and out. My phone was on silent in my purse. I reached in and took it out and wrote my hubby, "This is a weird date...not super attracted." I quickly became  annoyed that he got up to make a phone call. Who was he, the President??  I wrote my BFF and told her how he got up to go call his mom.

Suddenly, he popped around the corner, grabbed his sweater, and without missing a beat, said, "I don't mean to be rude but I gotta go!" and he was gone.

I didn't even have a chance to say anything or react. I was just dumbfounded.

I got up and put my jacket on, and went to my car. Trusting and believing him, I wrote, "I'm sorry for your loss. Hope you're ok." He wrote right back, saying simply, "I'm okay. Just worried about my mama." I responded, "It was weird I wasn't sure if you were just giving me a story so you could leave."

He didn't respond. The text turned green (iPhone-to-iPhone texts are blue unless there's no signal) and it appeared he'd never read it. The evening progressed and still no response. Bedtime, still nothing. And this is from the guy who had been texting me 24/7. Such a cavernous difference.

That night I became so incensed I couldn't sleep. I woke up around 5 am just fuming. Finally at 6:43 I texted him, "is that what you did????" He responded immediately, with a screenshot of the text. It was a group text sent from his mom to him and his sister, and says, "Uncle Charles died this morning. This was Daddy's brother. He was only 10 months younger than daddy." There's no date or time on it. For all I know he edited it out. He texted, "I wouldn't quite call this a story." I responded, "well I'm sorry for your loss. But you can't blame me for thinking you just wanted to run out. It's a classic move. Ten minutes into the date a text arrives and you need to leave."

He read it immediately and I've never heard from him since.

I bit my tongue and fingers from typing further, "This is where you say, oh my god I'm so sorry I can totally see how you'd think that. Let me make it up to you." He never did.

So the more I thought about it, the more incensed I became. First of all, who reads their mom's texts while on a date?? Ten minutes in?? If you want to read your fucking texts at least excuse yourself to use the restroom and do it discreetly. Anyone who knows me knows I'm fucking addicted to my phone, yet I had it on silent and stuffed in my purse so I could give him 100% of my attention. And yes, my Fitbit Blaze buzzed a few times so I knew I was getting texts. I was on a date! I didn't look at them. They could wait!! I expect the same from the person I'm with.

Second of all, he shouldn't have sent me that text from his mom, because it just further reveals he DID intend to run out and he used her text as an excuse. She sure didn't seem as upset as he made her out to be, nor was there any emergency of any kind. He created one so he could leave.

Why??? Who knows. I don't care. I deleted him from my Snapchat. I have zero interest in finding out the answer. If he's indignant that I ought to be more sympathetic to his loss he can go fuck himself. It's not like it was a parent or child. It was NOT an emergency, his mother was NOT that upset. He shouldn't have looked at his phone in the first place.

Ugh. Two weeks of wasted time.  I guess this is what dating is.

I'm SO glad I never sent him any nudes.

I walk away from this with my head held high, and all my dignity.

What an ass.

Readers?? Tell me what you think.