Eskimo Tinder hottie too hot to handle

This has been a strange week. The next day after my date from hell with Gorilla Man, I went back on Tinder (of course :) ) and I matched with a real hottie--long, straight caveman hair, slender build, kind of Eskimo features---high cheekbones and perfect skin. Wow. I wanted in his igloo bad. We began messaging and soon he asked for my Snapchat which I liked bc it lets me know right away if they're the real deal. Do they look like their profile pics?? Snapchat weeds them out.

Well he looked EXACTLY like his profile pics. He was truly one of the most beautiful men I'd ever laid eyes on. I sent a selfie back with a cute heart filter. He was just what my bruised ego needed.

UNTIL.....

Moments later, my snapchat was flooded with maybe 10 pics he'd sent from his camera roll. Various full body pics, mostly nudes. He was beautiful, no doubt, but fuck! Nudes already??! I barely just "met" you!! So I wrote him, "slow down cowboy, you're going too fast for me."

And guess what he did??

He deleted me!! And he removed me from his Tinder!!! I laughed so hard. All I could think was, "really?? REALLY??!!

I sure attract crazies don't I???

New Tinder boy

I've been on Tinder for oh, probably 6 months and have had some good luck with finding hotties there! I had a "match" yesterday, imagine a blonde Harry Styles. Very cute. Only 19 years old. The way Tinder works is, you can't write anyone until they've "swiped right" and you have too. So, guess we both "swiped right" which means we both liked each other, and then we were able to begin texting each other.

And I just looked for our messages and he's deleted his profile.

Hmmm.

Well, I really can't say it went well. I wasn't impressed.

I WAS impressed with him until he showed up. I loved the way he talked to me. He was very sweet, very very complimentary and very respectful. I get tons of messages and they range from the obscene to the sweet, and he was definitely at the sweet end of the spectrum. He was perfect. He said I was perfect. We exchanged snapchat names and snaps, and he was as cute as his profile pics. Yay!! And he thought I was just perfect. I couldn't wait to meet him.

He insisted he coudn't wait. We discussed our schedules and decided to meet this morning at 7:30. Then after some texting we decided fuck I'd just sneak him in after midnight. So that's what I did last night!

It was pouring rain, but that didn't deter him. He was staying with his mom literally 5 minutes away. He came in and he had a hoodie on. He was much smaller than he looked in his pics (he looked like six feet tall; I think he was more like 5-9) and he was really taken with how big my house was. He wanted a tour so I gave him a short tour, and he was just like "wow" and my house isn't even that big. Then we went upstairs to my bedroom.

I can't remember if he kissed me when we met at the door; I think he did but it was NOTHING like F. He was nothing like F. F devoured me, couldn't get enough of me and was SO into me. This guy, let's call him Harry (for Harry Styles since he looked a lot like him) acted the complete opposite of the way he talked in his texting.

He was attentive once the clothes started coming off. He was very cute, very skinny (yum) and seemed very comfortable with his body. He seemed experienced and wasn't afraid to make the first move. He had sent me a very sexy shirtless Snapchat just before he came over and you could see the tip of his hard cock in it. It got me very turned on.

He took off his hoodie and laid back down and laid down on my bed, and grabbed me and started kissing me. It was passionate and I liked it BUT he tasted like cigarettes. If I'm drunk it turns me on, if I'm not (and I wasn't) it kind of turns me off. But he was a good kisser.

I liked his skinny body and climbed on top of him and straddled him. I loved rubbing my crotch over his hard cock and teasing him. I was wearing a red bra and thong and a sexy red teddy over it. He loved squeezing the shit out of my nipples--no one had ever done it like that before! That was hot. He'd alternate squeezing them with sucking them. That was so hot.

I couldn't wait to taste him. He promised me he was manscaped and he delivered. It was a beautiful sight, and it didn't take me long to slurp those balls right into my mouth and suck that hard cock of his. He wasn't terribly huge which I was glad! I was able to take his entire dick in my mouth. He loved it.

We made out for a little while, then he took off my teddy and undid my bra. It was hot. The guy knew what he was doing. It wasn't too long till he took control and I loved it. He flipped me over, slid off my red panties, grabbed my legs and lifted me to his mouth. He buried his face in my pussy and it was amazing!!!! I wish he'd stayed there longer or gone back for more but he was eager to get inside of me. He asked where the condoms were and grabbed one off my nightstand. This part was so fun--he's on his knees in front of me, big hard dick pointing up at the ceiling and he tears open the package and slides the condom on. Fucking sexy. I'm getting turned on just writing about it!

With one hand on my ass and one hand on his dick, he pushed it into me and fucked me hard. One or two thrusts, and he said, "oh no, I'm coming already" and he was done. I got up and got him a towel and he cleaned himself up in it and I went and tossed it in the trash and came back. He was putting his clothes on when I got back and I said, "Stay please?" He said he wasn't leaving but just wanted to put his clothes on. I said "Ok" and I stayed naked. He laid down on his tummy and I laid down next to him. He got his phone and I got mine; I texted my hubby to let him know what was going on. He was 30,000 feet in the air on a plane headed for Asia but he was super turned on.

Harry scrolled through his pictures and described them to me. He's really into cars and "crotch rockets" and had some cool videos of him racing. What a rush! I liked that he was an adrenaline junkie. So is F. They don't know each other (as far as I know) but they have so much in common. He showed me pics of his sister and his mom, his dad, and his best friend who's in the Army. He seemed like he really just needed to talk about himself to someone who gave a shit, like he was lonely. He seemed very sad, and as he scrolled through his pics he let me see who he really was, which was really awesome. What was sad was he didn't seem interested in ME at all. I offered to show him MY phone, which is full of pics too LOL and he said, "Yeah!" but never put his phone down or ask me to show it to him. He seemed very far away, even though he was laying right next to me.

What I did like was he was a gentleman the whole time, and what I liked was he didn't get all ashamed and get up and leave embarrassedly like my last two Tinder guys. I liked that he stayed, but we didn't really connect. He wasn't into me it seemed. He never really looked at me, or asked me any questions about myself. He was totally into his own world. The only time he was into me was during sex. F was into me before, during AND after and that's what I'm looking for.

Harry had texted me that he wanted to spend the night, or at least stay till the wee morning hours, but he left about an hour after he arrived. He said he had school at 6:30 am, which it occurred to me later that it must've been a lie cuz he had originally been planning on coming to see me THIS morning at 7:30 after I dropped my daughter off at school. SOOOOO......whatever. I mean, I liked him a lot, and I'd definitely give him a second chance, but I won't pursue him at all. It will be up to him. It wasn't satisfying to me at all.

Back to the drawing board as they say.

Feast or famine...and it's feasting time

Hello dear readers! Hope all you sexy mutherfuckers had a great Valentine's Day!!! From what I've read on my Twitter feed, it looks like there was quite a bit of fucking going on. Naughty naughty!!!

I myself had a new hottie over last Wednesday, a cute guy I met him Tinder. Brown hair, brown eyes, just my type. He came to my door and he was actually a little heavy, but I thought, eh, I'm a little chubby these days so WTF. He was 25 years old. Barely a little more than half my age. He was at the same college where I take my writing class which is only 5 min away. He had said his class ended at noon and he'd come right over after.

I always get so nervous with someone new and since I'd poured out all the vodka in the house after discovering my daughter had been pilfering it, I didn't have any to calm my nerves. I did find an unopened "Kinky" vodka, which was pink and a mix of mango and other juices, not really what I wanted but oh well what the hell. I opened it up and poured some into a rocks glass and started sipping. By 12:15 I was getting loaded (I hadn't eaten..too nervous) and not a peep from him. I turned on my PA and plugged in my mic and iPhone and started singing to pass the time. I haven't sung since our last band rehearsal and I was happily surprised that my voice was so strong! I belted out to "Without You" by Motley Crue and "Down Boys" by Warrant, two songs I always wanted to do but the band didn't want to do. I just sang them over and over till a text from him finally came. He was on his way. I texted my hubby right away and he was excited for me and told me to "have fun!!"

When he finally arrived, it was like 12:40 and I was lit. Wearing a red negligee (the same one I wore for F) I had been singing and dancing around my living room and was in such a happy mood. He came in, smiling huge, happy to see me. I tried to put him at ease and said, "yay! you're even cuter than your profile picture!" He took off his boots and jacket, and clearly he hadn't done anything like this before. It was cute. He started to undress right there so I took his hands and stopped him. I told him what I had been doing and did he want something to drink? He said "sure" and I told him the story about why I was drinking the girly vodka. I got a sense he really didn't know what to make of me. While we were standing in the kitchen, I just got in his face and gave him a juicy kiss and said, 'Sorry!! Just had to do that!! Hope that was okay!!" and he giggled and said, "Of course!" He was wearing the dorkiest sweatshirt...it said "Wisconsin" on it and had a picture of a mallard duck. I laughed and mentioned how dorky it was but that I love ducks. He giggled.

Within like 5 minutes, I took him by the hand upstairs. He was late, and we only had an hour cuz I had to leave by 1:50 to pick up my daughter from school.  When we got to my room, he undressed quickly and was totally naked and laid down on my bed. He had a huge dick and it was rock hard and he was ready to go. I went down on him first, and he loved it. I worked my way around his dick and balls and he moaned with delight. We had discussed the whole condom thing in texting and he said he was clean; he hadn't been with anyone else for a really long time anyways. (Hard to believe! He was really cute!) I then laid down next to him and he got on top of me and put his dick in me and pulled out after just a couple thrusts. He came on top of me, like 5 seconds after he started. He was so upset. After he cleaned us up, I said, "Here, come lay with me" and he said, "I'm not the cuddling kind" as he put his clothes back on. I was like, "what's wrong?" dummy me didn't really get why that made him so upset. He mumbled something like, "I shouldn't have come here. I have work I need to do for my dad" or something like that. I said kindly, "That was hot. You were so turned on by me you came quickly. Who cares? Let's go for round 2!" But he wasn't interested. He left so quickly my head was spinning.

I texted him right away that I took it as a compliment, etc. and that I would love to see him again. Never heard back.  I don't know what to think. Guess I'd have to be a guy to get it. Maybe someone can explain it to me. 

I'm still obsessed with F and think of him every day. I have checked his Instagram, which he's blocked me from (nice, right??) but I can see it if I Google it. He seems to still be with the ex-gf who cheated on him, but no new pics of her. AND his FB still says he's single. So whatever. I'm really hoping something happens with this new guy to take my mind off him. He's super cute, and I think he's 22, blond and blue-eyed and a snowboarder to boot. I'll call him "K". Totally hot and sexy. And SWEET. We've been writing back and forth for over a week, almost two maybe? I feel more comfortable with him than anyone I've hadn't yet met. We've even sent silly pics to each other. THAT'S how comfortable I am with him. He told me recently he "wasn't ready". He's worth being patient for, and I told him I wanted him and for him to let me know when he's ready but that I was going to see someone else. I can't sit and wait for anyone. What if he's never ready? My heart gets broken so easily. I get my hopes up and get close to someone and then poof, they're gone. I've had this happen too many times.

Oh, and Allen came back into the picture. He texted me a Happy Valentines' day and we've been chatting. He's soooo perfect in every way except he won't go down on me! So I lost interest. But he's patient and maybe I'll tell him sometime that he needs to work on that and that I'll help him. For now, I'm putting him off saying our schedules just aren't working out to get together.

Another new hottie and I have been writing, and he's the spitting image of F, but with tattoos and piercings!!!!! YAY!!!!!! We've been hot and heavy just for a couple days, and as it stands right now, I'm driving to see him Wednesday. He lives an hour away. DAMN!!!!! But where there's a will, there's a way!!! We'll see. I'm used to these guys being all talk. That's what most of them are. When they find out I'm real and really want to get together with them they disappear. I hope this doesn't happen with this guy....I'll call him Mr. S for now.

Feast or famine. It's feasting time right now--- I've got 5 guys writing me and a girl...she's the most persistent of them all and I'm like, back-pedaling cuz I'm not sure that's what I want to pursue.  Since K's not interested I am hoping Mr. S is just what I'm looking for. I need someone to fall for so I can forget F. I've driven by his fire station on my way to work so many times and haven't seen his car even once. All I can do is hope he will think of me and miss me too and text me. I have to move on.

Have a great week you sexy MF's!!!!