Strip club fun

With Father's Day coming up last weekend, I wanted to get my husband something REALLY special. He's a great cook and has been wanting a stainless steel cooking set, and I was all ready to buy one for him when I was like, "yikes they're almost $200" and I walked out of the store with a better idea!!!

TAKE HIM TO THE STRIP CLUB!!!

It was around 7:30 pm, I'd just gotten off work, and I furiously started texting our sexy group of friends to join us. Within minutes, I had a group of 9 of us all meeting at 11:30.

Woo hoo!!!!!

So we went to dinner first, just hubby and I, and had a simply delectable dinner at our fav restaurant and finished off a bottle of wine. We drove the half hour or so drive to the club, and it was PACKED!!! Now, the only other time we'd been to this strip club was around 3 years ago with my former boss and former co-workers. We had paid for a private lap dance from this super hot Russian girl and I had discovered one of my co-workers is quite into boobies (we are still friends and she has 3 kids now with her boyfriend).

I kept giggling while hubby and I were having dinner as my phone was blowing up with texts from our sexy friends. I hadn't yet told him what our plans were and he was going crazy not knowing what I was up to!!! When I finally told him he was SO excited!! He laughed when I told him, "I was going to buy you pots and pans but thought this would be more fun, and cost about the same!!!" hehehehehe

So we got there and got in free (the bouncer told us about a password we could use) so that was cool! The place was thumping so hard you could feel the pounding in your stomach. It was dark and lights flashing and more skin than you could imagine. We pulled together two tables and a bunch of chairs and the cocktail server came right over. The stage is in a sort of large horseshoe with the tables in the center and around it, as well as chairs lined up right up against the stage. So we sat back a little ways over to the right, with one pole just to our right.

OH. MY. GOD.

I looked to see who was onstage and it was a "little person". She was quite a performer. She was topless and doing handstands and shaking her infant-sized ass in men's faces. I couldn't believe it. I'd never seen anything so disturbing in my life. I'm sorry, I don't judge and I thought she was amazingly so confident with her body it was impressive but yikes there was just something about her small stature that reminded me of a toddler and that was disturbing. 

And she was apparently the star of the show. She was the only girl that got the whole stage to herself; BOTH sides of the horseshoe. And we saw a well-dressed gentleman with a stack of money just tossing them at her one at a time as if he were a bank teller counting a large stack. I've never seen anyone do that before, it was incredible. And when she was done with her march back and forth and after her pole dancing (which was phenomenal) she left the stage and some hired guy with a small black bucket crouched back and forth picking up all her cash. It was unbelievable. I just couldn't see her as sexy no matter what; maybe it's cuz I've got children and she just looked like a 4 year old to me I just couldn't really look at her without feeling icky.

Finally the parade of half-naked women began. There must've been 20 scantily clad girls in their early 20's (if not late teens) and they were all such an interesting bunch. I think all women should go to strip clubs and if there are any women out there that feel insecure if their man looks at another woman they just fucking need to get over it!!! I love how I don't have an insecure bone in my body at these places. Which isn't to say I have no insecure bones because I have quite a few but not at a strip club!!! 

There were all sizes of women. I had no idea, really, how different we women all are. No wonder men can't get enough of us!!! There were black women with big boobs and big booties. Asian women with tiny breasts and tiny bodies and that long, gorgeous, jet-black hair. There were lots of tattoos and piercings, some with breasts so small they were basically just protruding nipples. There were women with Beyonce-waists, so tiny yet their asses as huge as Nikki Minaj's. I saw breasts so large I wanted to bury my face in them, and I saw breasts that were obviously fake but most were just natural in all their saggy naturalness. Yes, saggy, and these girls were more than 20 years younger than me.

And more than a few had a few extra pounds on themselves. And they were still sexy. 

So we watched the parade, and it was fun. The music was thumping hard and it was so loud we had to scream to talk to each other. My three 40+ friends were clearly hotter than any of the girls on stage, and I started to really wonder about the young guys sitting alongside the stage. You know, the ones with the dollar bills getting their faces squished into the dancer's boobies??

My friends and I are just about the horniest women I know, and we are all there BECAUSE WE ARE HORNY BITCHES. And these guys are ignoring us, and paying attention to the dancers. I get it, they're up there performing and half-naked. BUT THERE'S NOT A CHANCE IN HELL ANY OF THEM WILL GO HOME WITH YOU. WE MIGHT.

Soooooo....I'm just watching them getting their rocks off, the dancers gyrating their pussies just out of the guys' reach, smashing their boobs in their faces, and the guys just throwing money at them. Good for them!! That's what you do at a strip club!! BUT HEY!!! THERE ARE HOTTER CHICKS SITTING BEHIND YOU  GETTING WET TOO AND HOPING FOR A GOOD LAY TONIGHT DUDES.

So we were all deciding which girl we all liked the best and we all liked different girls. My one friend was into this totally skinny rocker-type platinum blonde girl with a jagged pixie hair cut. My other friend liked a curvier girl with longish brown hair, and the other couldnt' make up her mind. At this point, the parade of girls started to come towards us; the girls choosing girls and boys they liked and pairing off with them. One by one, my friends paired off with the girls they liked and disappeared. My hubby and I and my friends' hubby were left sitting there like forgotten Valentines.

I didn't come there to just sit and let everyone else have more fun than me!!!

I had stopped at an ATM and had $300 burning a hole in my wallet. I swivelled my chair around and saw several dancers that were just standing there unattached, waiting for someone to pair up with. One was just a ways behind us and she was adorable. I jumped up and went over to her and said hi and asked her if my hubby and I could have a private dance with her together? In a very girlish, high-pitched cute voice she responded, "SURE!" and I motioned for my hubby to come over. I grabbed him by the hand and led him over to her.

We followed her across the place, and she'd turn her head and chat to us, very animated and sweet. She was gorgeous. She looked barely 20. Very curvy body, totally different body-type than me. Long blonde hair and tiny boobs. She was dressed in a white bikini that had a very pretty gold chain linking the top to the bottom down her back. 

She stopped at the bar and told us she wanted to do a shot first, called a "Payday" hahahaha and so she motioned for the bartender to come over and he made us two. I told her I was the DD so we decided we'd share one. Hubby drank his and she sipped first and I finished her shot. It was deeeeeee-licious!!!I could've had several but made sure I didn't hahaha

Then she led us to a table where she had to check in with some guy first, and we had to pay $20. I guess it's to make sure she gets paid SOMETHING cuz once people get horny I guess they can become assholes hahaha I dont' know!

My girlfriends had told me how it worked since apparently, they'd been to this club before. $40 gets you a simple lap dance. $80 gets you a little more, and for $300 they take you to the opposite side of the club from where we were at and anything goes. My hubby has always said he can't get turned on paying someone to pay attention to him, so he wasn't interested in that. He likes watching me with women so that's what I wanted to give him for Father's Day!!!!

So she led us into this dark room that looked a lot like restaurant booths with the tables taken out. My hubby and I sat down next to each other and she proceeded to talk to us about how she was from Iowa, her name was "Chelsea" (probably not her real name) while she grinded her pussy onto mine. It was hot and fun!!! She'd turn around and shake her booty in my face then lower herself onto me. I asked her if I could touch her and she said, 'YES CUZ YOU'RE A GIRL!!" so that turned my hubby on quick. She gave him some attention too of course, grinding her pussy backwards onto him and he loved it. She'd shake those tiny titties in his face and I saw him smiling. It was hot.

I didn't want to be disrespectful so the only place I would touch her would be her back and the outside of her thighs. I didn't want to be grabby and gross. I assumed if she wanted me to touch her elsewhere she'd grab my hand and put it there but she didn't. 

She was soft and smelled soooo good. I loved her long hair swishing on me. It reminded me of Jordan and his long hair. I thought, "I could like girls. I should pursue this!" and soon we were done. My hubby and I were horny bastards at this point and soon after left. We couldn't keep our hands off each other and fucked each other like crazy when we got home.

It was awesome.

Jordan's midnight visit

Well hello dear sexy readers! Sorry you haven't heard from me in a couple weeks. I had a bad cold and lost my voice so no podcasting recording. I missed  day of work too, and had to put my beautiful cat down (he was 13, lived a good life) so had a pretty shitty week. The weather has been mostly shitty too, which was good hahaha so I didn't feel I was missing out on anything!

I haven't had any juicy stories to tell--I know you didn't get to hear about Jordan's last visit so I will share that with you today. It's weird, it's like, now that he's been here 3 times, I'm feeling a little protective and weird sharing too much. It's like he's gone beyond just being a FWB and is more of a friend now, but it's ok if I write about him cuz he doesn't know I'm writing about him LOL and knowing him he's be pleased if he knew. (his ego is even bigger than mine).

My hubby was out of town and gave me permission to have my sexy lover come see me. He lives over an hour away, and said he loves the drive to my house. He said his dick gets hard the minute he gets in the shower knowing he's coming over, and it's hard the whole drive here (hehehee love it!!!)

Because it was cold out, I had him come through the garage. It was pitch black and I couldn't really see him LOL so I opened the blinds by the side door. OH!! I forgot to mention, it was around midnight. He had to work so he came after.

We were giggling as I pulled the drawstring on the blinds open to let in light from the outdoor bulb. I could see his happy face and big grin! We grabbed each other and pulled each other thisclose and started making out. Damn that guy is fucking sexy. He's got over 2000 followers on his Instagram, mostly female groupies that would give anything to be the girl standing in this garage making out with him, but he chooses ME!!!!! I still can't believe it. Every time he shows up I'm flabbergasted.

I finally led him by the hand into the house, and he took off his shoes by the doorway. Holding his hand, we chatted as we went upstairs to my bedroom. Once there, we just stripped down to nothing and went at it. We were like hungry wolves for each other.

I always take down his "man bun". His hair is down to his waist, and it's so soft and sexy. He is so fucking sexy. I honestly can't get enough of him. He's so small, and so am I, and we fit so well together. One thing I like about him is he loves to go down on me!!!! Fuck so many of these young guys either don't like it or don't know what to do down there or don't stay down there long enough. I tell you, my hubby should give most of these guys lessons!!! (oooo wouldn't THAT be fun???!!!) Jordan is the exception. I would love to get a pic of his face buried in my pussy. I take a handful of his hair and tease my nipples with it while he licks me. I can't help but giggle while I'm doing it, I feel like I've died and gone to heaven. 

I love the way Jordan purred to me, "I don't "have sex" hon. I "make love". Mmmmmmm yummy. I love his small waist and his big dick. I love slurping it and licking his balls (completely manscaped, thank you Jordan!!!) and he is able to not-come so quickly it's over before it starts. He really is a great lover. I love going down on him; he's sooo appreciative. He grabs a hold of my hair as well and pulls on it just-so-tightly.

When I finally climbed on top of him, I could tell he wanted to get rough. He had one hand on my throat and it was so exciting. He held back though, but next time I'd love it to get rougher. I want to be black and blue! He just loves fucking me. We flipped each other over so many times and so many different positions, but what I love the most is realizing he never doggy-styles me. And I never really thought about it much till days after; I saw something online about how doggy-style is really so impersonal. No face-to-face with it. And interesting we've never done it that way! Which means....he likes being able to see my face!!! (yay!!!!) I love being on top, and he's so small I can put my whole arm around his waist and pull him close while I fuck him. God I'm getting so turned on writing this!!!! 

Finally he was on top, and I will never get that image out of my head (and hope to God I never do!!!) He had one hand on my hip, pulling me as close to him as he could, and the other on my throat. His beautiful, waterfall-blonde hair draped to one side and tickling my right breast, his head back in ecstasy. HOLY FUCK THANK YOU GOD FOR THIS SEX GOD IN MY BED!!! I OWE YOU BIG TIME!!!! And we never use a condom. And we are both clean. Yay!!!

And here's the best part dear readers (if you're still reading this far, bless you!) HE SPENT THE NIGHT. No other guy has ever spent the night with me. And we've had an open marriage for 13 years or so. It's always a quickie, an hour or more here and there, but never overnight.

I SO wanted to have sex again with him in the morning, and a couple times I gently stroked his arm, his back, to see if he'd respond. He seemed totally sound asleep. It was soooo weird seeing another man in my husband's spot. I stared at him, just stared. I really couldn't believe he was still there. It felt good and strange all at the same time. It's really true how being with someone else is so enjoyable, but then I just miss my hubby so damned much. I felt ready to swap him out. LOL

So we didn't have sex, he didn't seem interested, but I had to rush him out. My daughter was home and I had to get her up and out for school. I couldn't let her accidentally see him, so by the time I got him awakened, there was no time. If I could've hidden his car (or thought ahead to move it down the street!) he could've stayed. I did have to work at 9 so there wouldn't have been much time, but I would've been late just to get one more fuck from him.

As he got dressed, again, I'm just staring at his smoking hot body. As he pulled his black skinny jeans on, I asked him, "what size are you?" he said, "Zero." YEAH. ZERO FOLKS. My skinny rocker boy. I drooled watching him dress and put that glorious hair back in a rubberband. 

I put on the sexy bra and panties I'd worn for him the night before back on, and had brushed my teeth before I woke him. We walked downstairs together; it was 6:15 am. He was sleepy and sexy. At the door we hugged and kissed and said our goodbyes. It's always bittersweet when a lover leaves; I think, "that was so awesome. And I'll never see him again." And when I do it's even sweeter.

And I dreamed that night that he got me pregnant. Oh maybe it's wishful thinking, cuz I know he's got a kid and wants another. And his baby mommy is such a bitch and I'd be the opposite. I told him about my dream via text and he didn't respond. :( sad face

LOL I probably scared him.

The amazing thing about seeing him again was, the last time we were together was October! He'd been seeing someone seriously, and that's why we hadn't seen each other. She'd dumped him, and he told me all about it. He was really devastated. He wants a relationship SO badly. I told him all about "F" and we commiserated with each other. I feel like we're becoming really good friends. And I love that I have no jealousies, in fact I EXPECT never to see him again every time after we are together. It's truly wonderful.

Yum.