Rocker Boy's surprise return!!!

Around 5:30 am two weeks I was barely awake, standing in my bathroom in the dimmest light possible, putting my makeup on, getting ready for a flight to DC to meet my hubby who was there for work. Suddenly, I get a private message from none other than Rocker Boy!! Now before I tell you what he said, let me refresh your memory that I have NOT spoken to him at all ever since the day we met at one of my band's performances. I'll attach the link to the blog post. Basically, he was there with his friends and it was an instant crush on my part, but he apparently didn't feel the same and I pretty much forgot about him.

I did see him a few months ago at a charity thing he had for his friend/girlfriend/faghag (who knows??) who died suddenly of an aneurysm about 8 months ago. It was at a rock bar with lots of bands performing (including him) and I deliberately sought him out to give him a hello hug and make sure he knew I was there. It felt obligatory for him so I just let it go. That was April or May I think, and even though we're FB friends (and have like 200 mutual friends) we are in different social circles and just haven't crossed paths either. I assumed he was gay and his friend/gf/faghag Cindy who died was just a friend.

And then there was this message from him, which literally stopped me dead in my tracks. He wrote, "Are you awake I really need to talk to someone really bad right now I know it's a crazy hour but i don't really care right now anymore, I'm falling apart".

Did you just have a heart attack too?? That was my reaction. Fucking heart attack. WHOA ROCKER BOY WHAT THE FUCK????

I'm ordinarily never ever ever awake before 6:40 am so obviously, the Universe was there for him and I was indeed awake. I wrote back something to the effect of "yes I'm here what's going on?" We texted back and forth for a little bit but he wanted me to call him so I did. Here I was rushing to catch a plane and I'm trying to save someone's life at the same time. I couldn't ignore him. This wasn't what I wanted with him and frankly, it was more disconcerting than anything else and I was so distracted trying to get ready and pack.

He seemed totally fine on the phone. He has a lilting voice, it was positive actually and surprising bc I've only said like 3 words to him ever, and here he was, it was dawn and he was pouring out his heart to me. Basically, he was still grieving the loss of his beloved Cindy (who I came to assume was indeed a GF----guess he's not gay after all?) and he said he'd started dating someone new and after 2 weeks she went back to her abusive ex and why would she do that? etc. He was heartbroken and guess he was pretty low. After dealing with New Guy and HIS depression I  just thought, I can't date any more depressed men. It's too exhausting and they're too hit and miss. And I was so certain Rocker Boy was gay anyways, I didn't really feel flirty talking to him or anything. I needed to assess, was he a danger to himself?? Was I talking someone off a ledge?? I was mostly panicky talking to him, even though he sounded totally lucid and fine, talking about bands and music and all. It started to feel like, did you think you needed to sound desperate to have an excuse to write me?? Is this a ruse?? I was very confused, and it didn't help that it wasn't even sunrise and I was rushing to get out of the house.

What was awesome though was we were super revealing with one another. Without saying "I'm married but in an open relationship"---which I think he already surmised---I was commiserating and said I'd been in a 7 week relationship last year which was very short like his (really?? two weeks and he's devastated??? Hmmm...) and he was responding well. I knew he needed mostly to vent and have his feelings validated so that's what I mostly did. I did say I needed to get off the phone and get going, and that I wished he'd contacted me yesterday, LOL I could've gone to see him and given him a hug. He said he wished he had. I said "well consider yourself hugged right now" and reassured him that I was still available to talk and text, I just had a plane to catch and had to get going. I had told him that I liked him from that first day we met and he revealed he'd "never stopped thinking about me" which totally took me by surprise. I was totally taken aback. And then, the whopper.

I know he lives near the airport, and I suggested stopping by on my way home from the airport. I was only going to be gone 3 days. I said I could deliver that hug in person. He said he'd totally love that, and (here it comes) "if it leads to more that would be totally okay too".

ROCKER BOY WANTED TO HAVE SEX WITH ME?????

This was shocking information!!! I thought he was gay!!!

So I was like, "really??? You'd want that?" and he responded, "I've always wanted that!' which shocked me even more! I felt like, 'really dipshit??? I kissed you the day we met. It doesn't get more obvious than that. And more than a year later you're telling me you've "always wanted that"??!!

So we left it at that. That was the plan, I was going to stop and see him on the way home from the airport three days from now. And he thanked me profusely for being there for him, he was super sweet and complimentary, it was an amazing phone call. I felt all day like I'd dreamed it. It was so strange and wonderful.

And he texted me off and on all day, then it slowed as the couple of days went by, and then, I hadn't heard from him much at all my last day in DC. I wanted to know if I was still stopping to see him on the way home from the airport (I would've worn something sexier on the plane if I was; if I wasn't, I'd go the comfort route). He hadn't written, "Are you still coming to see me tomorrow on your way home from the airport?" which I should've just left alone and realized he was a flake, but I poked him anyways to get a response. At 10:40 am I finally wrote, "My flight gets in at 9:20 tonight. I can totes stop and see you". Five minutes later he wrote, "have a safe flight". Yeah. Nothing about "yes! come see me!" so I was super annoyed at him and felt so used. What a jerk.

So here's the kicker.

I bump into his best buddy at that same bar I met them both at a year ago. And he's closer to my age. A totally cute aging rocker. At least 50 and he's in a punk band, plays bass. He's truly awesome but i'm not attracted of course, we're just buddies. So we're drinking and hanging out and I start asking him about Rocker Boy. Now mind you, he's his BEST FRIEND. He totally rags on him. He said, "he does that. He writes tons of chicks on FB and gets their sympathy." I said that's totally fucked. He said "yep it is". I said how I totally liked him and told him what he said to me and how he flaked out on me. Jokingly, which is this guys' style, said, "(my name) if you mess around with him I will totally lose respect for you!" I said, "what???why???" he said how he uses women by getting their sympathy and then drops them. I told him what he said and all and he just shook his head like he already knew what I was going to say.  I said I'd had a crush on him for a year and just gave up bc I thought he was gay!" He laughed and said, "well, he won't go down on ya so that's all I know!" I was like whoa. Hmmm. So yeah, I got over Rocker Boy quick.

Sooooo not interested anymore.

And New Guy? He's in and out as usual. Flaked on me this week.

Back on Tinder looking for someone new. Tired of these flakes.

Found someone a decade older who's the spitting image of Mickey. He gave me his number and we're texting.

I'm smitten! I'll call him MickeyTwin.

Have a great week you sexy people.