A broken promise

I'm going to skip my most recent hook-up to fill you in on my recent heartbreak. It's kind of taking over my thoughts the last four days or so and I just want to get it out.

I met a guy I'll call Tyler, we met on Tinder and within two days we met up at a dive bar within walking distance of his apartment. He lives downtown and I'm in the suburbs, so it took me about 45 min to drive there. We hit it off right away texting and we couldn't wait to meet each other. He's 25 and a financial analyst. Tall, blonde, very thin, beautiful blue eyes and the biggest smile with perfect teeth. Very very cute, cuter than his pics. He'd just moved from Chicago and he'd only been here 6 days!!

The dive bar was kind of embarrassing bc there were just a few barflies in there and I'm sure we looked like quite an odd couple. Like mom and son hahaha but I'm sure our body language said either incest or "sugar mama" or "prostitute". LOL He was very nervous and so was I. He'd gotten there first and already had a beer. I had to admit he looked much younger than 25 and he looked awkward drinking a beer. I felt motherly at first like taking it away from him and admonishing him bc he wasn't old enough to drink! So that wasn't a good start.

I ordered a vodka soda and sipped it awkwardly too. It was very awkward. I didn't want to stay there bc like I said, I felt like his mom there, and I was starving. I suggested we get something to eat, and he mentioned a pizza place literally across the street. So he paid for me (loved that!) and we walked across the street. I linked his arm and when we got there we got a table, and our server was young and tattooed and either high or drunk! She wasn't making much sense and was babbling and we thought it was so funny. We got pizza but he barely touched his--I think he was nervous. I ate three pieces (they were cut in mostly little triangles)--just enough that I could keep drinking and not have an empty stomach. Dinner was awkward but the conversation made it less so. We really hit it off--he had a Burning Man story for me (he hasn't been) and we just really started to click. We only had 1 beer. He suggested we "go back to my place for a second beer" and I agreed but told him we weren't having sex. I said it was "too soon". He looked taken aback for a minute and then said, "that's fine!"

It was a beautiful warm summer evening, and we walked back across the street to his apartment. It's in a great location and I told him how we're planning on moving there within a year like just blocks away! He loved that idea. We went in, and it's a very nice, new apartment, and it was obvious he'd just moved and he apologized for the disarray. I reassured him that's what I expected! It was fine. Boxes and nothing put away yet.

We sat on a loveseat that was in the middle of the room and we laughed about it. He got us each a can of beer and there was a little table there and we put them on it. He sat next to me and started to cuddle me and it was nice. Then he went in for a kiss and I let him, but I didn't have a lot of chemistry yet which was weird and new for me, but I was trying something new--taking time to get to know someone I don't have instant chemistry with to try to get a different result. That, and no sex. And he tried a couple times but I stopped him and he finally slowed down and sat next to me, putting my feet up on his lap and just barely caressing my legs. It was nice and I liked it. I liked him a lot.

I didn't stay long, I didn't want to tease him and I didn't know if he was truly a nice guy and wouldn't keep trying and so I said I needed to go. He said "okay!" in such a cute and innocent way, it totally put me at ease. I was relieved and glad. He WAS indeed a nice guy.

He walked me to my car, we held hands and chatted, and when we got there of course he pushed me against the car and kissed me. He wasn't a great kisser but I didn't care--I liked kissing him anyways and thought "hmmm maybe I'll see him again and we can practice!" He was so attentive, so complimentary, and I drove off with a huge smile on my face. I hadn't even turned the corner when he started texting me how great a kisser I was and how beautiful etc and how he couldn't wait to see me again. We'd made plans for the following Sunday and he said "five days wait will be torture".

And he kept his word. He texted a lot and we snap chatted and we discussed what we'd do next date.  I knew I still didn't want to fuck him. I really wanted to see if we could have something deeper.

He suggested sushi and I said "great!" and he picked a place. I drove and picked him up and he kissed me right away. It was awesome. I was becoming smitten. I'd missed him and found myself really enjoying being with him. The restaurant turned out to be a little farther than we'd thought--I should've helped him find it bc he'd only been here in the city now 2 weeks! But again, it was a beautiful warm summer evening, and my shoes were comfortable despite being stilettos. We walked probably almost a mile, hand in hand, chatting endlessly. People stared and I said to him, "I'm sure they think I'm your mother!" and he said he didn't think so but if the did he "didn't give a fuck" which I really liked.

We REALLY talked over dinner. He asked about our open marriage, he asked me all sorts of questions. OH!!! I FORGOT TO TELL YOU--- on our first date I mentioned I blogged and he said he wanted to read them. I texted him the link to my "safe" blog (not this one) when I got home and I honestly couldn't believe it when he told me he'd actually read it. I was blown away. NO guy has ever taken this much interest in me. He was perfect. Absolutely perfect. I was becoming more smitten as the evening progressed. I liked everything about him.

We had sake which I had never really cared for before, but it went down smooth. They had like 10 different kinds and I liked how he took charge and picked out one. He was just too cute. I liked everything about him.

After dinner (which again, he paid for everything. Such a perfect gentleman) we walked back to his apartment hand in hand again. Again, I told him I wasn't ready to have sex yet and he asked why. I said, 'it will ruin it." He said, 'ruin what?" And I said, "I'll never hear from you again" and he prodded and asked me why I thought that. I told him that's what keeps happening to me and told him about my last hookup (the one I skipped telling you about) and he said he couldn't believe anyone would do that to me. He said, "I WOULD JUST WANT MORE AND MORE!!!!!' That was cute and made me smile, but I still wasn't ready to sleep with him just yet. I really wasn't. The chemistry just wasn't there the way it usually is for me and I knew I was trying something new and giving this new experience a chance.

We were near his apartment when he suddenly pushed me up against the side of this building and started kissing me. I loved it. It was romantic and bold. It was super hot. It was just like a movie!
When we got back to his apartment, again he got us a couple of beers and we sat on the same loveseat which was in the same place it was the last time I was there. He cuddled me and kissed me and he really really wanted to touch my breasts and I let him. I was dressed very provocatively and I did want to fool around with him, I just didn't want to fuck him yet. I didn't want sex. And he got a little too grabby and it hurt so I laughed and said something to let him know he hurt me but that I knew it was bc he was super excited. I honestly wasn't trying to tease him. I was trying to get to know him slowly. I didn't want to lose him by fucking him too soon.

Again I didn't want to stay too long; I had a long drive ahead of me (about 45 min) and I didn't want to let things go too far like I did with the last guy I'll call Jonah I'll tell you about next. The conversation was AMAZING. He said things to me like, "what do you have to offer me?" and "how will this work?" and stuff like that. I felt like he was REALLY into me. I said at one point how he should date others if he wants to bc I can't be as available to him as I'd like to be. Of course I don't want him to date anyone else but I can't be selfish!! And I know how to share so I guess I think others can do that too. Anyways, the most amazing thing he said and did was this--are you ready?? He took my face in his hands and said, "I want to know all of this"--and he pointed to my forehead--"and all of this"--and he pointed to my heart. I was melting. I knew the next date I'd want to fuck him. I almost gave in right then and there. But I wanted to save it. I was so happy. It was another perfect date. And here's the clincher----when we were having our deep convo about what kind of a relationship we could have we also talked about how we'd end things if it came to that. He said, and I'm quoting, "I WOULD NEVER EVER GHOST YOU". YEP HE PROMISED. We said we both say to people, "I'm sorry but I don't think we're a match" and we were like wow I said that too! So like I said, he was perfect, saying all the right things and I thought he was totally into me.

And we had talked about the next date and what we would do and when it would be. We decided Thursday, and I said I wanted to definitely have sex with him next time. I said, "Since I have a long drive there and back and I want to have as much time with you as possible, should I just come straight here?" and he said sweetly, "no, no Anna I want to take you out to dinner and talk about keep getting to know you!" COULD HE BE ANY MORE PERFECT????

Again after he walked me to my car and kissed me, it was heaven. I was quite smitten by this point. And again, no sooner had I driven away the texts came. How beautiful I am, what a great kisser, how badly he can't wait to see me again. It was perfect. He was saying all the right things and he was everything I was looking for.

The following week was a big week for me, and it started well. First of all, he was texting me like crazy. It was awesome. I had to tell him Thursday wasn't going to work for me after all bc I had a girlfriend coming in from California. No worries he also had been telling me he had a buddy coming to visit too! I think it was around this time I found his Instagram and sent him a follow request. He told me he deactivated his Facebook and sure enough I couldn't find one.

My band played at a big festival on Friday and he even remembered and wished me a good show. He'd said he wished he could be there but had to work till 6 (we went on at 5). We were literally two miles away from him. I was disappointed but he let me know the week prior he probably wouldn't be able to get off work early as he'd only been there a week. It was fine. I had zero expectations. And I sent him a couple pics someone had taken of me singing and he thought they were hot. He was very attentive Friday. We decided to see each other Sunday instead as his friend would be gone and I thought mind was leaving Sunday as well. We were both very excited to see each other again.

Saturday was brief texting but again very positive and happy and and he was texting first. I knew he had friends there so I wasn't about to pester him. I sent him a couple snaps and he loved them. I was busy too--we went to the festival again with our big group of friends and had a blast.

Sunday morning I wrote him around 10:30 am that unfortunately I wouldn't be able to see him as my friend wasn't leaving after all until Monday. He wrote back immediately he "just woke" and he "thinks he's dying." Big hangover apparently. They'd gone out and had a blast. He begged me to come see him but I couldn't--we were headed out to go on a friend's boat. I sent him a (clothed) pic of some heavy cleavage and said he could 'put his aching head" right between them. He didn't respond and by 4:00 pm I wrote him to see if he was ok. He said he'd just awakened again and that "I wish I could see you right now." I sent him a pic from the boat and he didn't respond until 6:00 Monday night, which made me sad all day bc I had time to go see him and kept waiting to see if he wanted to see me!! I was nearby too! I drove my girlfriend to the airport and could've seen him afterwards. His text was just one text, said he thought the pic I sent was cute and that he'd had such a terrible hangover he was very sick and "work was a nightmare." I said simply, "Yikes, so sorry to hear!"

Nothing else from him that evening, and nothing Tuesday. I wanted to see him so badly. What about our sexy date??? Why wasn't he asking to see me??? I managed to wait until Wednesday night around 9 and wrote, "Tyler I miss you! What's up?" I should've waited for a response and gone to bed. I didn't. I wrote him an hour later, "Talk to me...please?? What's going on ???

He read it Thursday and responded around 3 in the afternoon, "hey sorry! I have had a terrible week, I'll talk tonight sorry".

I haven't heard from him since. Today is Monday.

I had already started grieving assuming something was up, and my week was becoming quite terrible as well, caused by him. What was going on? Why couldn't he/wouldn't he talk to me? If anyone would understand it would be me. I was annoyed tho and really didn't know what to say, and it took me a few hours to respond, to which I simply said, "OK" bc the ball was in his court to explain. An hour after I wrote "OK" I wrote, "you can call me" bc I wanted to hear his voice.

He didn't call, he didn't text, and I got upset. I wrote him around 10:30 pm, "idk what's going on with you Tyler but I'm not giving up on you" and then "When can I come see you? You need me"

He stopped watching my Snapchat stories, but he hasn't deleted me as I can still see his score, which goes up daily. SOMEONE is snap chatting him and vice versa. He has not accepted nor denied my Instagram follow request. He hasn't posted any snapchat stories of his own either.

I was so upset I cried. I've cried a couple times, and obviously, I'm still very upset and hurt he's done the one thing he promised me he would not do, and that's ghost me. That hurts the worst. I mean I'm a big girl. I told him that. I said I've been lied to, and ghosted, and nothing hurts worse than "not knowing".

I wonder since all I've done is think about him and what the fuck is happening, and "will I ever hear from him again?" and "when I do will I even give a shit anymore??" Bc I haven't told you the worst of it---HE HASN'T EVEN READ MY LAST TEXTS. THEY ARE STUCK IN "DELIVERED".

So who walks around with the number 2 next to their messages?? Wouldn't that drive a person crazy? Has he blocked me? Did he just left-swipe it when it came in, which would have deleted everything we've ever written to one another??

So since he's given me no choice but to come up with theories of my own (ASSHOLE) here's what I came up with--

1. Most likely he's got another girl who's fucking him and he feels badly about it bc he DID and maybe DOES care for me but he's getting his needs met and I can't say I blame him. I'm not that available HOWEVER he said he'd never ghost me so fuck just tell me you're seeing someone. Not that fucking hard to do.

2. He's not in jail or the hospital bc I can see he's snap chatting someone. Or several someones.

3. Did I forget to tell you he deleted his Tinder??? Now I don't know when he did it---for all I know it was after we first met up. I didn't think to look until he went AWOL.

I came up with what I call "Reasonable Excuses to Temporarily Ghost Someone". They are as follows:

A) you've lost a significant family member
B) you've been in jail or the hospital
C) you lost your job/apartment and became homeless

These are truly things that can cause a person to not text someone for a certain length of time, and when some sort of stabilization happens, they text people that are important to them and let them know "hey, X-happened and I really lost it there and I'm sorry I haven't written. When can I see you? I'll tell you the whole story." That sort of thing. So, here I sit, waiting for that follow-up text he promised to send. I still have hope. I don't know why. Call me loyal or romantic or stupid. Maybe I'm all three.

And I've been downtown a couple times including last night, and have to fight the temptation to just show up at his apartment. It often works in the movies. LOL

But here's what I ultimately decided--he may have had a terrible week, but you know what?? So did I, bc he made me cry. He didn't keep his word. He broke a promise. I have no idea what's real and what's not.

But I'm not siting around waiting for him. I've got someone new and yes, I'm back at square one, and it's emotionally tiring, but I refuse to be bitter or angry. As each day goes by that I don't hear from him, I care less and less about his bad week, or bad month. I may be sad but I'm not going to let anybody dull my sparkle.

Hot LA Tinder hookup!

Hello my naughty readers, hope everyone's enjoying their summer! When the weather gets hot, so does Anna. I've had some fun, some ups and some downs. Wanna hear?

First of all I was in LA about a month ago and hooked up with a Tinder hottie I'll call Alex that I'd "met" online over a year ago. We'd tried to meet up a couple times but it just didn't work out. This time it did! He came to my hotel--he was cuter than his pics which is always a fun surprise! He's young, 26 I think, lots of tattoos and looks like a dead ringer for M Shadows from the band Avenged Sevenfold. Damn hot. Just my type. And he's got freckles and a sweet, shy way about him. I met him in the lobby and he was feeling excited and so was I! Having a Tinder guy meet you at a 5-star hotel is always fun. He was overwhelmed and excited and when we met, we hugged and he had a huge smile. We were immediately at ease with one another, and I linked arms with him and we chatted as we walked to the elevator. We liked each other instantly! We'd texted a bit over the year so we felt like we knew about each other enough to feel comfortable. And we did!

We got to my room and he was amazed. I showed him the view of the outdoor pool--it had these large lights floating in the shape of spheres and was just super cool. I wish he'd gotten there earlier-I told him I wanted to have a drink together first and hang out. He had come from a family BBQ so.

He was a perfect gentleman, asked what I wanted to do and said he'd let me take charge so I'd feel comfortable. We started kissing and it didn't take long for all the clothes to come off. He had a great body! He was maybe 5-11, a bigger guy but mostly muscle-y. Washboard stomach. Full sleeve tattoos on both arms. Super sexy and those freckles on his face weakened me. He laid down on the bed and the first thing I did was straddle his face and pushed my pussy onto it. I decided this is my new thing hahahaha bc I need to weed out the guys who won't lick pussy straightaway! And he dove right in. It was awesome. I didn't need to stay there long bc I can't cum that way anyways, I just wanted to make sure he would do that. And it's a hot move I know these guys don't get from their young chicks bc they always tell me.

I massaged his head while he ate me out and I moaned my appreciation. After a good licking I wanted to return the favor so I gently climbed off of him, kissed him (bc again--most chicks don't like kissing a guy after he's licked them). I straddled his hips and rubbed my pussy on him and we kissed--he was a GREAT kisser! And then I made my way down to his stiff hard cock. I gave him a nice long slow BJ and he was very appreciative! I had my condom ready and tore it open and handed it to him. It totally turns me on watching a guy put a condom on. I just love watching guys touch their dicks hehe ;)

I climbed on top of him and fucked him hard, his hands holding on tight to my ass. And then with one arm around my waist, he flipped me over and fucked me from on top. We changed positions a couple times. The one that put him over was us laying with him behind me, fucking me from behind, kissing and biting my neck, his hands fingering my pussy. I didn't cum (I usually don't with anyone new) but it was F U N!!!!! He was sweet and delicious and I felt turned on and safe with him. All necessary things!! We laughed and we were sweaty and happy. We cuddled for a little bit--it was nice. We chatted about how fun that was and how it took a year to finally meet up! I said that I travel there a few times a year and I want him to be my boytoy every time I visit! He said "definitely!!"

Yum yum yummy

Eskimo Tinder hottie too hot to handle

This has been a strange week. The next day after my date from hell with Gorilla Man, I went back on Tinder (of course :) ) and I matched with a real hottie--long, straight caveman hair, slender build, kind of Eskimo features---high cheekbones and perfect skin. Wow. I wanted in his igloo bad. We began messaging and soon he asked for my Snapchat which I liked bc it lets me know right away if they're the real deal. Do they look like their profile pics?? Snapchat weeds them out.

Well he looked EXACTLY like his profile pics. He was truly one of the most beautiful men I'd ever laid eyes on. I sent a selfie back with a cute heart filter. He was just what my bruised ego needed.

UNTIL.....

Moments later, my snapchat was flooded with maybe 10 pics he'd sent from his camera roll. Various full body pics, mostly nudes. He was beautiful, no doubt, but fuck! Nudes already??! I barely just "met" you!! So I wrote him, "slow down cowboy, you're going too fast for me."

And guess what he did??

He deleted me!! And he removed me from his Tinder!!! I laughed so hard. All I could think was, "really?? REALLY??!!

I sure attract crazies don't I???

Tinder date from hell

So I matched with a real cutie about 2 weeks ago. Very cute, blue-eyed recent college grad, 23-years-old, lives 8 miles from me. We hit it off right away, and we moved from texting soley on Tinder to Snapchatting and texting quickly. He would write me 24/7, from early morning while getting ready for work to bedtime every night. It has been wonderful. We wanted to meet but I was going out of town so that delayed it.

I really liked his sense of humor, and his self-deprecating wit. I can't stand insecure guys who just boast about themselves or have a slew of selfies on their profiles. This guy and I had the most fun banter I've had with a guy for a long time, and after Hot Lips (who btw disappeared and hasn't been heard from since with the exception of one very sexy full body naked pic a week later) I decided I was going to go slower with the next hottie and develop something more before I jumped into bed with them.

So things were progressing beautifully with the guy above I nicknamed "Gorilla Man" bc he was the hairiest beast I've ever seen. And if you read my blogs you know I like my guys hair-free for the most part (except the top of their head. Gotta have cave-man hair). Even though he was so young, he said he too was looking for a relationship, and didn't care that I was married and he'd be a side-dish. We talked at length about what kind of a relationship we both wanted, I mean, in 2 weeks we covered a lot of bases. It wasn't mostly sexual bc when he'd get sexual I'd stop him and say it was too soon for that. He liked it. He told me he had a huge crush on me and couldn't wait to meet me. He'd send me snapchats off and on all day too, letting me in more every day. Oh, and he was a chess player, so that turned me on more than those blue eyes.

So we finally chose a day and time to meet--I picked the place--a super cute and quiet coffee house halfway between where we both lived, and we'd play chess. We'd been teasing one another back and forth for days who was going to win. I brought one of my chess sets, and at the last minute, I decided to leave it in the car. I told him I only had an hour (I had a dr appt) so I decided I just wanted to focus on him as it was our first time meeting.

I labored what to wear since the weather turned so cold. I chose a low-cut, blue sundress and leather jacket and my best Guess black leather boots. I felt pretty and confident and since he was so funny in texting I knew I was probably going to really like him. I told myself I would let him kiss me if he walked me to my car. THAT'S how much I liked him already.

So you know from the title that things turned bad, so here it goes.

I got there before him, and sat down. I was nervous and didn't know what to do. I texted him "here!" and soon he wrote, "I'm ordering coffee!" I somehow didn't see him come in. I recognized him immediately. He looked just like all his pics. He was cute and wearing a nice cashmere sweater and jeans. There was one person in line behind him, and I didn't have a coffee yet, and he was already paying so he couldn't order one for me, so feeling playful, I went up behind him and put my hands on his back and said, "HI! I didn't see you come in!!!" He turned around and I think he smiled and said hi and asked where I was sitting. I said I hadn't really picked a place yet. He said "ok" and something about going to find a spot. I said "Okay!" It was at the moment that I realized he was super short (I mean I'm five foot two and maybe five-five in my boots) and he kind of looked.....dwarfish??!! He turned the corner and I hadn't had a good look at him, so I thought, maybe not.

A little discombobulated, I ordered my coffee and decided to give him a chance. I absolutely adored his personality. I was going slow these days after all. I texted my hubby, "He's here. He's cute."

I found him sitting at a cute two-top table off to the side, nice and private, and I smiled and said, "Well hi there!! Nice to meet you!" and sat down. He made eye contact, and he was real cute, as cute as he'd looked in all those Snapchat pics he'd sent. I was actually not too nervous once we got settled.

Within a minute or so he took off the cashmere sweater he was wearing as the coffee house was plenty warm. He joked he was a "T-shirt and jeans" kind of guy, and I could see his hairy chest and I was kind of turned on. He had nice muscled biceps too, and he kind of gave off an Alpha male presence that was super hot.

I noticed he was wearing an Apple watch, and seeing as I love my Fitbit Blaze and have been wanting an Apple watch since last Christmas, I asked him about it. I think it caught my eye bc he kept glancing at it. I get that since my Fitbit Blaze sends me all my texts and phone calls, FB messenger and Snapchats. (it would send Tinder too if I let it). He did make conversation, and I felt it was going well. It was like we picked up where we left off through texting. We were laughing and getting along well.

About maybe 10 minutes in, he looks at his Apple watch again, then picks up his phone, and asks me a strange question. He said, "What's it called, the person who's the brother of your grandpa?" I said, "That would be your grand uncle I believe". He responded with a "hmmm", hand on chin, deep in thought. "He died today", he said nonchalantly. "Oh wow! I'm sorry to hear that!" I responded. He let it go for a minute and asked me about my band, like how often we gig and all that and we joked about singing (he said he's a horrible singer) and it was great banter. Then he picked up his phone and said, "would you mind if I call my mom real quick? I'll be right back." What was I to say? "sure, of course" I said nicely, bewildered.

He got up, phone to his ear, and walked around me and out. My phone was on silent in my purse. I reached in and took it out and wrote my hubby, "This is a weird date...not super attracted." I quickly became  annoyed that he got up to make a phone call. Who was he, the President??  I wrote my BFF and told her how he got up to go call his mom.

Suddenly, he popped around the corner, grabbed his sweater, and without missing a beat, said, "I don't mean to be rude but I gotta go!" and he was gone.

I didn't even have a chance to say anything or react. I was just dumbfounded.

I got up and put my jacket on, and went to my car. Trusting and believing him, I wrote, "I'm sorry for your loss. Hope you're ok." He wrote right back, saying simply, "I'm okay. Just worried about my mama." I responded, "It was weird I wasn't sure if you were just giving me a story so you could leave."

He didn't respond. The text turned green (iPhone-to-iPhone texts are blue unless there's no signal) and it appeared he'd never read it. The evening progressed and still no response. Bedtime, still nothing. And this is from the guy who had been texting me 24/7. Such a cavernous difference.

That night I became so incensed I couldn't sleep. I woke up around 5 am just fuming. Finally at 6:43 I texted him, "is that what you did????" He responded immediately, with a screenshot of the text. It was a group text sent from his mom to him and his sister, and says, "Uncle Charles died this morning. This was Daddy's brother. He was only 10 months younger than daddy." There's no date or time on it. For all I know he edited it out. He texted, "I wouldn't quite call this a story." I responded, "well I'm sorry for your loss. But you can't blame me for thinking you just wanted to run out. It's a classic move. Ten minutes into the date a text arrives and you need to leave."

He read it immediately and I've never heard from him since.

I bit my tongue and fingers from typing further, "This is where you say, oh my god I'm so sorry I can totally see how you'd think that. Let me make it up to you." He never did.

So the more I thought about it, the more incensed I became. First of all, who reads their mom's texts while on a date?? Ten minutes in?? If you want to read your fucking texts at least excuse yourself to use the restroom and do it discreetly. Anyone who knows me knows I'm fucking addicted to my phone, yet I had it on silent and stuffed in my purse so I could give him 100% of my attention. And yes, my Fitbit Blaze buzzed a few times so I knew I was getting texts. I was on a date! I didn't look at them. They could wait!! I expect the same from the person I'm with.

Second of all, he shouldn't have sent me that text from his mom, because it just further reveals he DID intend to run out and he used her text as an excuse. She sure didn't seem as upset as he made her out to be, nor was there any emergency of any kind. He created one so he could leave.

Why??? Who knows. I don't care. I deleted him from my Snapchat. I have zero interest in finding out the answer. If he's indignant that I ought to be more sympathetic to his loss he can go fuck himself. It's not like it was a parent or child. It was NOT an emergency, his mother was NOT that upset. He shouldn't have looked at his phone in the first place.

Ugh. Two weeks of wasted time.  I guess this is what dating is.

I'm SO glad I never sent him any nudes.

I walk away from this with my head held high, and all my dignity.

What an ass.

Readers?? Tell me what you think.

Hotel fun with a new Tinder hottie!

Friday night was AMAZING.

For the last two weeks, a hottie I'll call Hot Lips I matched with on Tinder had been snapchatting me literally 24/7. First thing in the morning and last thing at night. Always a selfie pic, he'd send me all day long while he was at work and it would taper off in the evenings, but he always said "goodnight beautiful" and "good morning beautiful." I loved it. He's 23, a semi-pro baseball player and super good looking. Blue eyes, lots of muscles, big full lips and a beautiful smile. A very happy-go-lucky guy, not a depressed, moody one like New Guy or Rocker Boy finally!! He seemed to be the kind of person who was just what I'm looking for. He was sweet, super-complimentary (which I love) and never expected anything in return. Truly, a very nice guy overall. I def hit the jackpot.

He was very respectful too and asked before sending any nude pics, and I love that. I was quickly smitten.

We wanted to meet ASAP. And lo and behold, I was telling my hubby I needed a getaway. A night in a nice hotel, a good night's sleep, and no cats climbing on me or kids. The weather was shitty-five straight days in a row of misty rain, wind and cold. So we booked a room at a 5-star hotel and settled in for a nice dinner.

I was also texting another hottie while we were sitting at the bar later after dinner, but it was Hot Lips who was on his way. I was SO excited to meet him. After two weeks of 24/7 snapchatting I liked him a lot. He was very sweet, very complimentary and just a real nice guy. (whoops! I already said that!!)

The plan was for my hubby to stay in the bar while I took him to our room. And that's what we did.

Hot Lips texted me, "where are you? I'm here!" LOL somehow we missed each other when he entered the lobby. I wrote back I was in the front of the lobby and all of a sudden there he was! He was even cuter in person. I'm all about cute. Ballcap, plaid button-down shirt, khakis. Those big blue eyes and full lips and a huge smile. We embraced in a big hug and I was already giggly. I get that way when I'm super excited. We sat down on the overstuffed leather couch that was there and chatted for about ten minutes. I was a lil drunkie and super giggly. I felt so comfortable with him, and we really clicked. I felt like I'd known him forever, there was just an ease about him that was tangible. I could tell he really liked me too.

I don't remember saying it, but next thing I knew we were in the elevator! I really shouldn't drink so much bc I have trouble remembering details and that really bugs me. The next thing i remember is him sliding my spaghett straps off my shoulders so elegantly, and he began kissing my breasts and sucking my nipples. And we kissed. Those lips!! He was a gentle wet kisser, and it was sweet--he wasn't like a vacuum cleaner sucking the air out of me. He was very gentle in everything he did, but he was very Alpha male and I loved it. He took charge and he was so good and flawless he set a new bar for sex for me!

I remember him untying my shoes. I was wearing a pair of Sam Edelman's that are beige suede and like ballerina shoes, they have long ties that tie around my ankles. It was so sexy watching him untie them for me and slip them off my feet.

He then took my dress and pulled it down and slid it off me, and next, gently slid my panties off. And subsequently, buried his head between my legs. It was yummy yummy yummy. He then licked me up my body up to my breasts again, and kissed me passionately. I loved loved loved how he took charge. He was the man and I was his woman. But his moves weren't aggressive at all but rather almost choreographed they were so flawless. I could tell he was really into me.

I loved watching him undress. I don't think I helped him, which is odd bc it's one of my favorite things to do in the entire world! A new man to undress like the biggest gift behind the Christmas tree! I think he just wanted his clothes off and next thing I knew, he was big and warm and naked and embracing me. His dick was straight out and super hard.

He gently took my legs and spread them and entered me, kissing me passionately. Not pulling out, he swung my legs over like a pretzel and fucked me hard. It felt amazing. He's a big guy, not skinny and small like Jordan or Rocker Boy, more like Blondie. Not fat but big--he's a baseball player and full of muscles but not ripped ya know? (I hate ripped). He was strong and young and solid and oh so sexy.

He'd pull out and change positions, each time taking charge and moving my body the way he wanted to fuck me. Me on top, him on top, him behind me, my legs in the air, you name it, we did it. I sucked his dick and he licked my pussy. It felt like we were so hungry for one another.

I'm happy to report that he made me cum!! I almost never cum with anyone but my husband bc if their technique is too hard (Rocker Boy) or they give up too soon (all of them) but Hot Lips was THE BEST I'VE EVER HAD. (next to hubby). He fingered me and thank GOD didn't shove his fingers in me. I absolutely hate when guys do that. I don't mind a fun exploration into my pussy but when they shove their fingers in like they're eating frosting out of a can it's painful and not at all pleasant. He didn't do that at all!!! He actually was stroking me with the right amount of pressure and his fingers were just to the left of where I wanted them to be. I moved them with my hand and BOOM!!!!! HUGE ORGASM!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!! As I screamed in ecstasy I clutched him tightly and he basked in my glory. He was watching me and smiling and I thanked him with a giggle and he passionately kissed me.

Then it was his turn.

I loved that when he came, it was in a position where he could see my face. I hate how Abercrombie always had to cum doggy style. Nothing says "you're as special as a glory hole" like cumming doggy style. It's ok if it's a sometimes-thing but always??? That's why I lost interest in him. Yuk. Left me feeling so used.

Hot Lips was not only facing me but kissing me as he came. He was on the bottom, or should I say on his side, his arms totally around me like an embrace, and my legs were in the air. He finally came, and it was interesting bc he literally made almost no sound at all, it was almost like an "ahhhhh". Not at all like me when he made ME cum! I just wanted to fall asleep with him, our bodies still wrapped up together. But I remembered my husband was downstairs waiting for us to finish so he could come up and get his creampie. Hot Lips wanted to spend the night, and I wanted him to also. But how could I do that with my husband there?? I couldn't. I had to lie and make up an excuse that I wasn't spending the night, that I just got the room to meet up with him.

Yeah, like people do that LOL well Hotel 6 they do, not five-star hotels. I'm sure that looked and sounded ridic.

I had no idea how long we were at it, but I was guessing at least an hour (hubby later said hour and a half!). He got up and went to the bathroom, with the door open!! I wanted to watch SO BADLY but I thought I shouldn't. Because I'd get horny all over again and that wouldn't be fair to my hubby!! I wanted to fuck Hot Lips all night. I didn't want him to go. And I liked that he wanted to spend the night too. Oh well. Maybe next time we both said.

He had Uber'd there and I asked him if he had called for a car. He said he hadn't yet but was going to. He got dressed--I grabbed a super cute short-tight burgundy lace see-through nightgown I had brought and put it on. We kissed goodbye, and he left. I texted my hubby and he was up lickety-split in no time! I asked him if he saw him leave, and he said he did, that he thought he was real cute.

My hubby's dick was hard and ready. He licked me first and then fucked me fast and hard and he was done. He'd been downstairs knowing I was fucking this young guy and he couldn't hold back another second. Unlike Hot Lips, he came so loudly I'm sure anyone could've heard. We laughed and fell soundly asleep.

What a fun night!!!

Rocker Boy's surprise return!!!

Around 5:30 am two weeks I was barely awake, standing in my bathroom in the dimmest light possible, putting my makeup on, getting ready for a flight to DC to meet my hubby who was there for work. Suddenly, I get a private message from none other than Rocker Boy!! Now before I tell you what he said, let me refresh your memory that I have NOT spoken to him at all ever since the day we met at one of my band's performances. I'll attach the link to the blog post. Basically, he was there with his friends and it was an instant crush on my part, but he apparently didn't feel the same and I pretty much forgot about him.

I did see him a few months ago at a charity thing he had for his friend/girlfriend/faghag (who knows??) who died suddenly of an aneurysm about 8 months ago. It was at a rock bar with lots of bands performing (including him) and I deliberately sought him out to give him a hello hug and make sure he knew I was there. It felt obligatory for him so I just let it go. That was April or May I think, and even though we're FB friends (and have like 200 mutual friends) we are in different social circles and just haven't crossed paths either. I assumed he was gay and his friend/gf/faghag Cindy who died was just a friend.

And then there was this message from him, which literally stopped me dead in my tracks. He wrote, "Are you awake I really need to talk to someone really bad right now I know it's a crazy hour but i don't really care right now anymore, I'm falling apart".

Did you just have a heart attack too?? That was my reaction. Fucking heart attack. WHOA ROCKER BOY WHAT THE FUCK????

I'm ordinarily never ever ever awake before 6:40 am so obviously, the Universe was there for him and I was indeed awake. I wrote back something to the effect of "yes I'm here what's going on?" We texted back and forth for a little bit but he wanted me to call him so I did. Here I was rushing to catch a plane and I'm trying to save someone's life at the same time. I couldn't ignore him. This wasn't what I wanted with him and frankly, it was more disconcerting than anything else and I was so distracted trying to get ready and pack.

He seemed totally fine on the phone. He has a lilting voice, it was positive actually and surprising bc I've only said like 3 words to him ever, and here he was, it was dawn and he was pouring out his heart to me. Basically, he was still grieving the loss of his beloved Cindy (who I came to assume was indeed a GF----guess he's not gay after all?) and he said he'd started dating someone new and after 2 weeks she went back to her abusive ex and why would she do that? etc. He was heartbroken and guess he was pretty low. After dealing with New Guy and HIS depression I  just thought, I can't date any more depressed men. It's too exhausting and they're too hit and miss. And I was so certain Rocker Boy was gay anyways, I didn't really feel flirty talking to him or anything. I needed to assess, was he a danger to himself?? Was I talking someone off a ledge?? I was mostly panicky talking to him, even though he sounded totally lucid and fine, talking about bands and music and all. It started to feel like, did you think you needed to sound desperate to have an excuse to write me?? Is this a ruse?? I was very confused, and it didn't help that it wasn't even sunrise and I was rushing to get out of the house.

What was awesome though was we were super revealing with one another. Without saying "I'm married but in an open relationship"---which I think he already surmised---I was commiserating and said I'd been in a 7 week relationship last year which was very short like his (really?? two weeks and he's devastated??? Hmmm...) and he was responding well. I knew he needed mostly to vent and have his feelings validated so that's what I mostly did. I did say I needed to get off the phone and get going, and that I wished he'd contacted me yesterday, LOL I could've gone to see him and given him a hug. He said he wished he had. I said "well consider yourself hugged right now" and reassured him that I was still available to talk and text, I just had a plane to catch and had to get going. I had told him that I liked him from that first day we met and he revealed he'd "never stopped thinking about me" which totally took me by surprise. I was totally taken aback. And then, the whopper.

I know he lives near the airport, and I suggested stopping by on my way home from the airport. I was only going to be gone 3 days. I said I could deliver that hug in person. He said he'd totally love that, and (here it comes) "if it leads to more that would be totally okay too".

ROCKER BOY WANTED TO HAVE SEX WITH ME?????

This was shocking information!!! I thought he was gay!!!

So I was like, "really??? You'd want that?" and he responded, "I've always wanted that!' which shocked me even more! I felt like, 'really dipshit??? I kissed you the day we met. It doesn't get more obvious than that. And more than a year later you're telling me you've "always wanted that"??!!

So we left it at that. That was the plan, I was going to stop and see him on the way home from the airport three days from now. And he thanked me profusely for being there for him, he was super sweet and complimentary, it was an amazing phone call. I felt all day like I'd dreamed it. It was so strange and wonderful.

And he texted me off and on all day, then it slowed as the couple of days went by, and then, I hadn't heard from him much at all my last day in DC. I wanted to know if I was still stopping to see him on the way home from the airport (I would've worn something sexier on the plane if I was; if I wasn't, I'd go the comfort route). He hadn't written, "Are you still coming to see me tomorrow on your way home from the airport?" which I should've just left alone and realized he was a flake, but I poked him anyways to get a response. At 10:40 am I finally wrote, "My flight gets in at 9:20 tonight. I can totes stop and see you". Five minutes later he wrote, "have a safe flight". Yeah. Nothing about "yes! come see me!" so I was super annoyed at him and felt so used. What a jerk.

So here's the kicker.

I bump into his best buddy at that same bar I met them both at a year ago. And he's closer to my age. A totally cute aging rocker. At least 50 and he's in a punk band, plays bass. He's truly awesome but i'm not attracted of course, we're just buddies. So we're drinking and hanging out and I start asking him about Rocker Boy. Now mind you, he's his BEST FRIEND. He totally rags on him. He said, "he does that. He writes tons of chicks on FB and gets their sympathy." I said that's totally fucked. He said "yep it is". I said how I totally liked him and told him what he said to me and how he flaked out on me. Jokingly, which is this guys' style, said, "(my name) if you mess around with him I will totally lose respect for you!" I said, "what???why???" he said how he uses women by getting their sympathy and then drops them. I told him what he said and all and he just shook his head like he already knew what I was going to say.  I said I'd had a crush on him for a year and just gave up bc I thought he was gay!" He laughed and said, "well, he won't go down on ya so that's all I know!" I was like whoa. Hmmm. So yeah, I got over Rocker Boy quick.

Sooooo not interested anymore.

And New Guy? He's in and out as usual. Flaked on me this week.

Back on Tinder looking for someone new. Tired of these flakes.

Found someone a decade older who's the spitting image of Mickey. He gave me his number and we're texting.

I'm smitten! I'll call him MickeyTwin.

Have a great week you sexy people.

Valentine's Day with with new Tinder guy

Valentine's Day really had nothing to do with the reason for our date--it was more it was a Tuesday, which just happened to be the best day of the week we could get together. He's free during the day and so am I! 

After our meet-and-greet coffee date on Friday, I thought about all the books I've read about "what men are really thinking" and that sort of shit and how they like to "do" for women, so knowing that JL is a sous chef (on disability right now, so P-E-R-F-E-C-T!!) so I suggested, "I'd love for you to cook for me!" He loved the idea. And most of our texts between Friday and yesterday involved decision making about what to cook for me. Not sexual flirting but everything else. I loved it. He always responded, never ghosted or went long periods of time without communicating. 

I got there soon after tennis yesterday, with a condom just in case. I wasn't really sure I wanted to fuck him or not. He was growing on me with every day that passed, he seemed so genuine and easy to be around. Not having a car, he needed to still go to the store and buy everything. So, we stood in his kitchen for about 45 min while we tried to decide what to cook. I swear I was hungry and so horny, I was ready to just say, "let's order a fucking pizza and fuck while we wait for it to get here!!" 

It was awkward going out in public with a much-younger guy. He actually got a shopping cart when we got out of my car and rode it into the store. I was so embarrassed. Mickey used to do that after he'd help me put the groceries in my car. I had a flash-back to those days and chuckled to myself. In the store, he'd ride it too, from aisle to aisle. I finally let him go off without me bc I was so uncomfortable. I'd said I was looking for truffle oil, and by the time I'd found him he was at the self-check out.

I've GOT to remember to bring my own booze when I got to these young guy's places! They never have anything remotely like what I drink. We stood in his kitchen, a cluttered kitschey place his mom owns. Yellow kitchen and bathroom tile, pink walls, little figurines everywhere, very claustrophobic. I hated it. It was offset by lots of sunlight coming in and many scattered houseplants everywhere, and of course, that hot young 24-year-old who was now wearing a black apron and cutting vegetables for me. He'd put on music from "Vengo" (hadn't heard of it) and he chatted endlessly about everything that came into his head while he chopped and sauteed. He was making "sliders" with chicken since I don't eat red meat. It was frozen and it took forever. I got there around 12:30 and we didn't eat until 4:30.

I was texting my hubby off and on while I was there, reassuring him and also giving him a play-by-play. He said "He's shy. You're going to have to make the first move". I realized he was right. JL was respectful and never once assumed he was going to get laid. He genuinely enjoyed cooking for me, and it was fun talking to him. He's so fucking smart!!! I LOVE smart guys! I realized tho I needed some liquid courage and asked him to make me something to drink. He offered me water, orange juice or soda. I was like, "eh". Then he said, "seven and seven?" I blurted out "SURE!!!!!" I have never actually had whiskey but I needed something to loosen me up. I was so uptight. There was no place to really sit either, so I felt so awkward just leaning on the kitchen counter the whole time. There were barstools, but when I'd sat down on one of them, they were too short and the counter was up to my chin. Oy. Hence the standing.

Finally, watching the chicken sauteeing and taking forever (I was STARVING) the whiskey hit me fast. He'd mixed it with grenadine and Sprite, but alas, no ice cubes LOL. He was sitting up on the corner of the counter, arms crossed, looking so fucking adorable. I just waltzed over to him and took his hands in mine, spread his legs open with mine and he leaned in and he kissed me. I let him just kiss me and kiss me and kiss me. He bit my lip and sucked it and then made his way to my neck and nibbled and kissed it and back up to my mouth again. It was SO HOT. I love making out. Sometimes I don't ever want it to lead to sex bc then they stop making out with the goal line of fucking.

It was so fun. He went back to cooking and I went back to my post and we kept chatting. Then another time I did it again. Just went over to him and started kissing. This time his hand started to roam and I let him. He moved my hand to his dick, which was quite hard now and I was getting very turned on. I let him slide his hand into my leggings where he quickly found my wet pussy. He fingered me, found my clit piercing. He pulled away from kissing me with a chuckle, "I should've guessed." I found that to be an insult of sorts somehow and pulled away from him and said,"What?? Why's that?" He just closed his eyes and smiled and kissed me to avoid answering. 

It was getting pretty intense. He cracked me up when he said, "I remember you said you liked appetizers!" and put my hand on his dick! I laughed and said, "indeed I do!!!"  I undid the button to his khakis and unzipped his zipper, but caressed his dick from outside his boxers. I love the anticipation. That's my favorite. I think he wanted me to give him a blow-job but I didn't want to, not there in that crazy-lady kitchen and not before I got my pleasure. I said, "Where's your bedroom?" And we went there. 

It was upstairs, a cute loft that badly needed upgrades, but the sunlight coming in was spectacular. He didn't really have a bed-just a mattress on the floor with a mirrored headboard on the ground leaning up against it. It looked like a teenage boy's bedroom and I caught myself actually asking him if he was "really 24" bc he could pass for 17. He assured me he was, but part of me was a little afraid the cops were going to bust in and arrest me at any second. I am not kidding. I should've made him prove it but I knew I was worried for nothing. I knew how old he was from his conversation (year he graduated high school, etc.) but idk it was a bit uncomfortable.

I could tell he wasn't very experienced and needed some direction, but I really like a guy to take charge so I didn't want to tell him to do much. He seemed awkward so I said, "whatever piece of clothing I take off, you copy!" He liked that. So the first thing to come off was my top. He didn't comply with the game right away, he seemed distracted, so I said it again playfully and started to take his black t-shirt off. He was skinnier than he appeared with his clothes on. Then I started to take off my leggings. He got the game at this point and was taking off his pants too. I said, "It's cold! I'm leaving my socks on!" and we laughed.

Finally we were down to socks and undies, and I sat down on his mattress. He'd just changed the sheets he said, and put a large dark blue towel down and I moved so he could lay it down. That annoyed me. Next thing I knew he was standing in front of me and I was kneeling, and his large hard cock was in my face. It was a pretty cock and his balls were very nice too so I showed my appreciation. He came so fast, I'd say less than 3 minutes, one and a half maybe. I swallowed it all and he moaned and grabbed by hair hard. I KNOW that was the best BJ he'd ever been given, but he didn't say so. He was not a talkative lover at all. He smiled a lot and made a lot of eye contact which I love.

He had asked about a condom and I'd already gotten it out. I didn't want to fuck him yet bc I wanted him to lick me and make me cum. He said he "didn't do that" and I said, "WHAT??!! ARE YOU SERIOUS??" and he said yeah. I said, "well you need to learn or we won't be doing this again." I don't think he believed me. But I was super horny and needed a real good pounding so I instructed  him, "Sit down". There was a green-sheeted covered futon and I wanted to fuck him. He complied but again, commented about the sheet being clean so I grabbed the blue towel and spread it down atop the green sheet. I climbed on top of him and fucked him hard. It was a great piece of furniture to fuck on! (We must get one!) I grabbed hold of the edge of the back of it and was able to really fuck him hard. I think he was amazed how long and hard I can fuck without getting tired. hehehehe

Then he flipped me over and fucked me from behind. Goddamm it I have never been fucked that hard before. I swear to God. I mean Blondie fucks me hard but never from behind. It was incredible. JL would grab my hair tight and I would like it for a little bit but then it started to hurt so I'd ask him to ease up and he always did. I liked that. Made me feel safer. He would slap my ass too as he fucked me and I loved it. Finally tho my hands would hurt from being on my knees and I wanted him to fuck me face-to-face. I was the one orchestrating our moves. I made him stop and got up from the futon and motioned for the mattress, which of course, at the same time, dragged the blue towel to it. I laid down on my back and he wanted to keep fucking me which he did. At one point he put my panties in my mouth, covering my mouth with his hand. I had never had anyone do that to me before and I felt very scared. I pushed it out right away. He didn't try to stop me, he obviously knew I didn't like it.  He fucked me SO hard and fast. I see where the term "pounding" comes from hahahahha He definitely pounded me. He was sweating and it was dripping on me body and I thought it was so hot. He was so cute. I loved seeing his face while he fucked me.

I was so horny and his fucking made me want to cum SO BAD but I had to tell him it wasn't going to happen with my legs in the air and his dick inside me. He seemed to think that's how women cum so he just kept fucking me harder and harder. He seemed surprised when I told him that. He did pull out and finger me a little but for some reason I felt like I couldn't relax, maybe it felt like he wasn't really trying and wasn't really into pleasing ME so I said, "we can stop". It was getting late anyways, and he had said his mom came home from work at 5:30 and it was already 4:30 and we hadn't even eaten the food he'd spent 3 hours cooking!! So we did, he was sweating and tired and I was too. We got up and got dressed--I didn't like the way he tossed my bra and panties to me onto his mattress instead of sexily handing them to me. I started to feel whorish and I thought, "I don't think I'm coming back here again."

He grabbed his clothes and left the room and went downstairs, and I was left alone. I got dressed and went downstairs, and I saw him in the bathroom drying himself off with a brown towel. I think he must've quick showered....?? He said something about being so sweaty (he wasn't complaining, just explaining). I thought it was odd. He dressed then quickly, came into the kitchen and prepared our plates and we went over to the same counter where I'd stood all afternoon and we devoured his chicken sliders. They were amazing. We were famished. We chatted as we ate and kept an eye on the clock. Finally it was time to leave--I was ready. I offered to do the dishes but he said nah he didn't mind. I thanked him for cooking for me and that it was awesome. He walked me to the door and we kissed a juicy deep kiss goodbye.

He's sweet, and sexy, but idk about the way he treated me. I don't like feeling like a cheap whore. I realized the biggest difference between Blondie and JL is, JL "fucks". Blondie "makes love". World of difference. 

Guess who I'd rather fuck.

Preamble to Valentine's Day

I want to tell you about my Valentine's Day yesterday!! OMG it was so hot! BUT first a Blondie update. He is still single according to his FB, which he's on 24/7, so I poke him now and then. I thought Valentine's Day was a great reason to poke him and I sent him a cute meme of an orange cat like his inside a pink heart. He responded immediately!! Wished me same back and we chatted off and on. Oh, I forgot, actually we started texting the day before. He'd posted on his fb he needed rehab for his binge drinking and he had almost 50 comments so I just PM'd him mine. It went from there. It was very interesting--he'd been hungover that Monday he came over and had gotten sick. AND when he drunk-dialed me that sexy convo where he said he "craved" me he was drunk. Putting pieces together. And it's interesting bc when we were together last year he never drank at all. He loves his weed. So this must be new behavior, perhaps getting dumped by Piggy Face??? Hmmmm. He was having chest pains and I was going to take him to the ER but he ended up deciding to "ride it out". He's only 24. I'm sure he just had anxiety.

Anyways, I decided to just ask him out! He's the kind of guy that likes romance. He seems offended or something when I'm too sexual. So I said, "how about $5 movie night? It'll be fun!!" He responded it sounded like fun but he couldn't tonight, something about having to get a hair cut (on VALENTINE'S DAY??? WHAT HAPPENED TO THE CHICK HE WAS TALKING TO AND COULDN'T TALK TO ME....?!?!?!?! HE ALONE ON V-DAY??!!)  and had to "take care of some other stuff". I believed him. He doesn't lie. If he had a date he'd have said so. He's clearly unbalanced right now. But we are talking daily again and I'm so happy to have him back in my life. I know, he wasn't ever really "out". But when he's dating someone else, I'm in the friend zone.

Yeah. Blondie broken like New Guy, but omg they handle their brokenness completely differently. Blondie doesn't "shut people out" and ghost them into thinking they're done anything wrong.

******

SOOOOOOOO WHAT DOES ANNA DO WHEN BLONDIE NOT AVAILABLE??? SHE GOES RIGHT BACK ON TINDER!!!!

I matched about 5-7 cute guys and sat back to see who'd pursue me the hardest. The winner was a guy I'll call JL. He's 24-years old, tall and lanky, a ginger with light hazel eye. And awesome eyebrows. I agreed to meet him for coffee last Friday. Again, another hottie without a car, so I went to pick him up where he lived, which is a ramshackle house along a busy freeway about 20 minutes from me. Perfect tho, bc we'd be unlikely to run into anyone I know.

He was cute and I liked his look right away. We drove to a nearby Starbucks and he bought us both a coffee. It's always awkward being in public with someone who most people would look at us and assume I'm his mom. We sat at a bar-type table facing a window and chatted for about an hour. I realized he's probably one of the most intelligent people I'd ever met-completely knowledgeable about politics (at least we are in agreement on most everything!!) He's an activist and a former vegan who still eats mostly only organic. He spoke so softly I had to lean in several times and say, "I'm sorry??" He also started doing this head twitch which seemed like hiccups, or possibly, Turrett's??? I had mixed emotions. He was super cute, dressed like a total skaterboy, had a sexy deep voice, inviting eyes and then tics. It was a bit scary and off-putting.

As I got talking to him, he told me about a bicycling accident he'd had three years prior that resulted in a brain injury and "micro seizures". It was a bit frightening and I told him so. He put me at ease and said he's used to it. We talked for an hour and he filled me in about it and I was still conflicted about any chemistry I was feeling with him.

When I drove up to his house, he asked me what I was looking for. "FWB essentially" I responded, and he said likewise. I felt safe and at ease around him once his "micro seizures" stopped (they weren't bad, like I said, like hiccups) and I liked that he reached over and just kissed me. He was a GREAT kisser, and very respectable, he didn't just dive into my groin. I liked kissing him and grabbed his shoulder and pulled him closer. He invited me in, but I said I wasn't ready for that, and had to get going.

I wrote him at a stoplight on the way home, "you're a great kisser". He flirted back, and we made plans to see each other the following week.

And that's the blog post I wanted to write about initially but had to get all the other shit out of the way first.

Next up--I fucked him yesterday.

Another one bites the dust

Oy vay.

Back to the drawing board.

New Guy will probably not be mentioned again after today's post. I think it's super interesting that not only could I not think of how to address him when I talked about him let alone on here was probably a premonition. I'm so annoyed. I texted him again one last time last night, I simply said, "I miss your daily phone calls. Hope all is well with you."

Crickets once again.

And what pisses me off the most is, he made a point to tell me more than once how he's the kind of person who's "so blunt it offends a lot of people" but the truth is, he's a coward and an asshole. To just ignore me is cowardice and douchebag behavior. So much for being "blunt".

I deleted all our texts so I'm not tempted to contact him again. And why would I be tempted to contact him again? Only to show my anger and contempt for him and I don't want to do that. I want to just "go away" as he's hoping I will (apparently) and take the high road. I KNOW I didn't do anything wrong. The day before he stopped responding to me we had insane video sex and he'd responded how hot and sexy I was. So whatever is causing him to act like an asshole, well, it has nothing to do with ME.

I like that I'm handling this additional rejection well. It happens so often I can't possibly take it personally. I think these young guys are mostly all talk-like Hairy Guy got cold feet at the last minute and admitted "sexting is fun but I don't think I can go through with it." I think they just like the free sexy pics and the IDEA of me. And also, I'm married. They want girlfriends they can take home to their roommates and not be embarrassed about. Once Blondie got a female roommate, he refused to have me over bc apparently, he was embarrassed of me. I refuse to be someone's embarrassment. I will keep looking until I find someone who will like me the way I am. What hurts is New Guy and I had these conversations and before we even met we both wanted the same thing. Being almost 28 he seemed more mature than Blondie (who's barely 24).

Whatever.

I'm not going to waste a minute putting myself down. I always tell myself, "If I don't have any information to go on as to why they stopped contacting me, what good does it do me to put myself down?? I mean yes, I am the common denominator. BUT both guys' last interactions with me were highly positive. So if I have no idea why they lost interest, what good does it do me to put myself down? If I have to write the story, why say "oh it's bc you're old. They saw your flab. They saw wrinkles. I'm not 24." blah blah blah Why not tell myself, "They stopped contacting me bc they couldn't handle me?" and "they're immature" and "probably want a girlfriend/marriage/babies and I can't give them that."

It saves my ego and it's probably the truth. But there's really no excuse for just "ghosting" someone you've been involved with except to label that person a douchebag.

At least Blondie always wrote me and told me why he couldn't see me. He gave me that. He has never ghosted me. And he's younger than New Guy. And here I thought NG would be more mature.
Apparently, age is not an indicator of douche'ness.

Sigh.

Happy Monday y'all.

Finally meet New Guy!!!!

I couldn't wait to sit down and write about meeting this new hottie yesterday! I have been thinking long and hard about what to call him on here: his real name is the same as my hubby's, but he himself goes by a nickname and I've told him, "I haven't decided what to call you yet!" He's so easy going and laid back, and he said he's always high. He stopped drinking and doing drugs a few years ago but loves his weed, and clearly, he functions well on it. He's so easy going. Nothing riles him.

Not even when I accidentally sent him a screenshot of our conversation to my BFF, and my subsequent follow-ups texts that were supposed to go to her. Where I said I though he was acting like he has a lack of respect for women by suggesting repeatedly for me to just go to his apartment and "chill".

I was horrified. He was at work when the texts went through, and we were supposed to meet up after. I sent a barrage of texts once I discovered my flagrant errors. I thought, "well Anna, you're an idiot and ruined it!" I actually Googled, "how to recover from sending texts/screenshot to the wrong person". It said basically just to send a GIPHY. So, I'd already send about 5 texts apologizing, then sent a GIPHY of Homer Simpson doing his slap-to-the-forehead signature, "DOH!!!' And then after almost an hour after we were supposed to meet, when I still hadn't heard anything, fearing the worst, I just wrote, "I'm all showered and dressed if you want to still meet." And I was surprised and relieved that he wrote and apologized to ME!!!!!!! And then said how he'd just gotten off work and yes, we can go anywhere I wanted.

His handling of that showed me he was worth the effort. And that maybe, just maybe, calling someone on their shit, even if it's accidental, has value. And to his credit, during the entire date, he never ever brought it up.

He doesn't have a car, and offered to wait by the curb for me. I liked that. So that's what he did; and when I drove up to his apartment complex, he was sitting in a rickety old chair outside of it. He waved and got up and walked over, and I opened my car door for him. He was taller and thinner than I thought he'd be which was a positive! (I didn't need him to be tall, just thinner than how he appeared in his pictures). He had on a red knitcap, and had hair long enough that it was almost shoulder-length, which I liked very much. Another blonde. What is it with me and blondes all of a sudden????!!

And the crazy thing is, he's sooooo much like Blondie it's uncanny. Similar in looks, although Blondie is way hotter. I felt crazy chemistry for Blondie instantly, and I didn't feel it yesterday with the new guy. They're both young, living in crappy apartments, working hard and making little, no car (although Blondie's got his running again), and both so hippy-like, pot-smoking, easy-going, laid back guys. The biggest difference is, New Guy is a great communicator. He tells it like it is constantly, and doesn't play games. I don't have to guess where I stand with him, and there's something about him that forces me to be brutally honest with him too.

Like just now he wrote, "Cum over today". I answered back, simply, "I'm not ready for that yet". Instead of making up an excuse like I'm busy or whatever, I am getting better at knowing what I want and not being so much of a pleaser. This is big for me!!

So, you want to know if I kissed him???

I DID!!!

Or should I say, he kissed ME!!

I could tell he wanted to, and he was trying to figure out how to make a move and still be a gentleman.

I drove us to this cute coffee place near his apartment, and I ordered a coffee and he ordered a strawberry smoothie. He doesn't drink coffee either! I chose a table in the back by a window, and I sat across from him. I was so super nervous! This was the first first-date I'd been on in over a year! And I wasn't in a bar, wasn't drinking, so no liquid courage. I could see he was nervous too, his knee was shaking just sitting across from me. I cradled my coffee mug in my hands as we talked about our family histories, how I moved here from California, how he was a high school basketball star but got injured and that's when things got hard for him. He wanted to talk politics but I wouldn't let him!

We had a nice visit, and a couple times he'd gently touch my hand, and glide his fingers across, and then pull back when I didn't reciprocate. I enjoyed just sitting with him, the conversation flowed easily and well, and he totally disarmed me when he was describing his roommate to me. He's known him 5 years he said, and that he's a "total disaster", but like a brother to him. That he just got his second DUI and that they were sharing his work van, which now has been confiscated by his job, so now he himself has no car. BUT when he was describing him, he said, and I quote, "he's adorable. Absolutely adorable." I have never heard a guy talk about another guy like that, especially his buddy! And he went on to describe the first George Bush as "adorable" too, and did an impersonation of him describing how he thought he was so cute and small and adorable he just had to vote for him. I thought he was charming and funny.

After about an hour or so, we left and when we'd gotten in the car, he made his move. He just came close and started to kiss me. It was nice, it wasn't amazing, I wasn't really feeling it, but I kissed him anyways. I wasn't sure how I felt. I was very uptight. I said afterwards, "Glad we got that first kiss out of the way!" and he laughed and agreed. The first one is always the most nerve-wracking.

He suggested we stop at Wal Mart bc I'd been telling him how I needed to buy a new coffee pot as I'd broken ours the day before. OH!! And I forgot to tell you, Blondie lives about a mile away from him. And we stopped at the same Wa lMart I went to with Blondie previously. So it didn't escape me the fact that I could possibly  run into him there. And as we walked through the store, I linked arms with New Guy, fully aware of this fact. Did I want to run into Blondie and have him see me arm-in-arm with another guy?? I think I did, and that's why I was the one to link arms with him, not the other way around.

I didn't see Blondie, and I found my coffee pot, bought it and we left and I drove him home. When I put the car in park, of course he wanted to "make out" as he'd put it. I giggled and didn't stop him, even though I wasn't really feeling it. He is so self-aware: he said, "How was that?" And I said, "It was nice!" He said, "Nice?? That it??" And I said, "Yeah! Nice!" and we both laughed. And he kissed me more, and rubbed his hand on my thigh, and I moved so he would kiss my neck. He had asked me when we'd talked on the phone if I liked my neck kissed, and I did, and I wanted him to stop kissing me on the mouth. I liked having my neck nibbled and he caressed my hair as he did. Then he kissed me some more, very passionately, lots of tongue, but I was hesitant. He felt it and asked me about it, and I said something like yes I liked it. I didn't say much more. We talked about when we'd see each other again, and he finally got out and walked to his apartment.

I drove off to a spot around the corner to let my hubby and BFF know I was fine and on my way home. And when I got home, I was relieved I was alone, and suddenly felt so incredibly tired. I turned off my phone, laid down on the bed and closed my eyes. I fell asleep immediately, but was awakened soon after by one of my cats that jumped on the bed and came close and meowed at me. I said hi to her and started petting her, and suddenly burst into tears. I laid there sobbing, trying to understand what I was feeling.

I still have no idea.

Love life needed

Hello my sexy readers! I'm sorry I haven't written recently but I really haven't had much to write about unfortunately! My sex life has been at a stand-still sine Blondie found someone else. And since we are FB friends, I see he and his GF have officially broken up, which made me very excited! It's been a couple weeks now and I keep hoping he'll miss me and contact me, but it hasn't happened yet, so I'm moving on. Five and a half months and while he's been fucking his new girlfriend, I've been faithfully keeping myself hot and ready for his return, pushing away anyone else's advances. I've had plenty of opportunities but I just haven't wanted to take my clothes off for anyone but Blondie.

"Indiana" is in town, and writing me 24/7 to come over. When he initially wrote he'd be in town, I had every intention of seeing him if I hadn't heard from Blondie, but now he's here and I'm just kind of "eh". I told him last night I had a "horrible" cold (lie) and that I'd let him know.  I said to my BFF, "What is wrong with me??!!" She said, "don't you like him? You've fucked him before right?" And I answered yes, but that was last summer before Blondie and I got together.

I feel like I've really changed since I was with him. I don't like sex for sex anymore. I liked our relationship so so much! I trusted him. I did things with him I don't want to do with anyone else! I really feel like sexually shut down. I've BEEN shut down since April. We just had a connection like I've never had with anyone before. That shit doesn't just evaporate. It's like I'm stuck.

"F" is still very attentive, sending me snaphats every day. He is so fucking adorable. I think he's still seeing that chick but that's what he does--he can't stay faithful to any girl. He tries but then he misses me. He hasn't made an effort to see me although he seems to want to badly but stops himself. He's fun to flirt with and I think he's the only other guy right now I'd sleep with.

I DID meet someone new I'm smitten with, and I think I'm going to give him a chance. Two guys actually--the first is the hot rocker boy who came to my show last weekend. I fell for him before I even met him. I love his look. He's 26 and also a lead singer! He said he wasn't in a band right now but he's got the 80's hair-band look like he's in Motley Crue. After the show we were hanging out together and flirty and chatting and I just had to kiss him. I just left him standing there and smiled at him. The guys in my band were all hanging out together with some other rocker-types and it was just the best night. The gig went well and hey, I kissed a hot boy so it was a good night!!

The other guy is someone I matched on Tinder. I've "known" him for like 4 years--he's a bartender at our fav hangout! I did NOT know he liked me! He is SUPER hot. A couple of my single friends have either dated him or wished they'd dated him. He is the proverbial hot, young, muscled bartender that all the girls swoon over. It will be fun to see where this goes with either him or Rocker Boy.

Unless.....!!!!! Yeah, you know how this sentence ends.

Tinder hookup success!

Today is my birthday! And I'm on an airplane as I write this. I just had a wonderful solo trip to California. It's my third solo trip and I've decided I need to continue to go solo every winter. I had an unbelievable trip!

My beloved hubby planned the whole trip and surprised me! My dad is getting on in years, and since my mother passed away almost 2 years ago, I've been trying to fly out to see him and see how he's getting along. And there's not much better than leaving the frozen tundra to go to sunny Southern California in January!!! I had so many lightbulb moments. I have to make sure I write them all down.

I did spend most of the 4-1/2 days I was there driving. Driving in crazy traffic to go visit everyone I wanted to see while I was there. I also made sure I had "me" time, and twice I went to my old stomping grounds, Huntington Beach, for some alone time. To rejuvenate. There's something so special about the ocean, but that's for another blog.

My hubby desperately wanted me to get fucked by a young stud while I was out there. He said, "all alone in a nice hotel, what a shame it would be to not have someone keep you company??" Am I not  the luckiest girl on the planet???? I started looking before I even left! I changed my location on my Tinder and OKCupid so the boys would start lining up. And did they ever!!

But what's so funny is how flaky these guys are. 99% of them are all talk. Most just want nude pics to jerk off to. Here I am, a real-life unicorn, and they're afraid to show up!! Why is that??!!

I wrote B in Hollywood, and he was so happy to hear from me. We chatted back and forth, and ultimately, I got a better offer and decided not to drive the one+ hour drive each way. Also, Felippe, from March of last year came back into the picture and was very complimentary and seemed like a "sure thing". Ha. NOT!! Again, all talk.

As the days were passing I was getting hornier and more and more frustrated . I had been writing several guys but none hot enough to really make the effort. I REALLY wanted Felippe, who again, seemed like a "sure thing", so I kind of stopped really pursuing anyone else. I had 3 nights to have sex with someone. So the first night was a bust, cuz Felippe said he was "going to Vegas" but would be back the following day and 'definitely" wanted to get together. So I made plans to see a friend of mine, and we went to a fun bar nearby but didn't meet anyone.

The following day, it was hard writing back some of the guys bc I was so busy either driving several hours or visiting family and it was rude to keep staring at my phone. I was starting to think Felippe was going to flake out on me and I needed a back-up

That was the beginning of the smartest decision I ever made!!

I found a hot 20 year old who lived---are you ready for this??? THREE MILES AWAY FROM MY HOTEL. How perfect was that????!! It was the universe telling me to see him. 

At this point, it was like 9 pm and B and I were going back and forth. I even texted my BFF and said, "who should I pick??" She said go for B. But I know how flaky he has been in the past that made me wary driving all the way to Hollywood and back late on a Saturday night. 

The guy who didn't flake out was the 20 year old I'lll call HH.

His texts were so genuine and sweet. And so complimentary. And he really wanted me.

We agreed to meet at the hotel bar. Even though he couldn't legally drink, we needed a place to meet. And I needed some liquid courage myself.

I put on the sexy matching bra and panty set my hubby gave me for Christmas, and took a pic for him and sent it to him. He was almost as excited as I was. He said he was getting super hard but would save it for me. I put on a cute sundress that's given me lots of success (I wore it when I met Abercrombie, and he said, "you're prettier than your profile pics!". I call it my "good luck fuck-me dress").

HH's face was kind of hard to see from his Tinder profile pics, but I liked everything about him. He looked tall and skinny (my fav!!!) and he was young and a musician.. He had dark hair and looked very good looking (good facial structure) but I honestly couldn't really tell what he looked like. I was taking a huge gamble here but overall I thought he looked cute enough that there would be a spark.

We agreed to meet at the bar at 10:30. I got there about 10:15 and ordered a glass of Pinot and a shrimp cocktail. I hadn't eaten all day and I knew if he was cute I was going to need the energy!!

I swear to God when he walked in the lobby (at precisely 10:29 mind you) I wasn't sure I was going to like him.  From the distance he looked almost too young. I always worry cuz these young guys will lie to me about their age. He came over to me and I got up to greet him, and up close he was beautiful. And to my surprise, he was Japanese!!! He was seriously beautiful. His almond-shaped eyes were happy and intense, and he was smiling and so friendly and outgoing. We sat down together and I wanted to put him at ease as fast as I could. As we chatted about his music (he plays the banjo!) I took his hands in mine and they were ice cold! And he was shaking he was so nervous! It was adorable and I found myself becoming quite attracted to him very quickly.

I said I'd warm them up for him, and I did!  We held hands, both hands, and chatted for an hour!! We have music in common, and he knows Synester Gates from the band Avenged Sevenfold (my 2nd fav band of all time). He's a college student, third year, a music major (or course). The bartender brought my shrimp cocktail but I didn't touch it. I asked him finally if I could have a box for it. 

I was a few sips into my second glass of wine when it felt right to finally say, "ready to go up to my room?"  and he smiled and said, nodding, "yes". I settled my bill, grabbed my glass of wine and I guess the to-go box (although I have no memory of actually carrying it) cuz I was holding his hand as well as we went up the elevator and down the hall to my room. I gave him the key (it was like a credit card) and he waved it over the door handle awkwardly (again, so adorable) and the green light lit up as if to say, "ladies and gentlemen, start your engines" because I tell you my engine was revved up, and I'm pretty sure his was too!!

I think I used the restroom first, and then he went. I remember saying later that if he needed to go again could he leave the door open and let me watch? He giggled and I think that freaked him out a little. But I hadn't eaten anything and the wine hit me hard. I was happy and light and giggly too.

He was dressed quite smartly; expensive jeans, ripped at the knees that looked really good on him, a button-down blue and red plaid casual shirt, and a black leather jacket that went just below his hips. He took off his leather jacket, and I had one on too, We tossed them onto one of the queen beds.

I honestly don't remember disrobing, except I remember him helping me take my dress off (over my head) and I remember getting a good look at his rock hard abs and unbuckling his belt. My favorite part!!! And I unbuttoned his fly and unzipped his pants and like magic, they fell to the floor! 

Next thing I remember we were on one of the beds and we were kissing and kissing and kissing. Fuck he was the best kisser. He never let up! His body was hard and soft and it felt sooo good touching him. Our bodies were intertwined and a blur of kissing and touching. I tell you, this guy was AMAZING. He even spread my legs and licked my pussy!! He was no amateur I tell u that.

We literally couldn't get enough of each other. It was so fluid and easy. He was so different from every other guy I've ever been with. He didn't choke me like Jordan, he didn't just want a BJ like Freckles, and he didn't insist on doggy style like Asian Stripper Boy. He was more like F. Who I fell in love with.

Well, I have replaced F with this guy HH. He's the only one I want now (besides my hubby of course). 

He was amazing. I know that word gets thrown around a lot, and it's overused. We had so much chemistry. It was like that cliche'd "we became one". He never stopped kissing me except when I was sucking his dick or he was licking my pussy. I have never been kissed like that ever. I felt like I was out of my body and in my body at the same time and in his as well. We totally became one. 

And he was a willing learner. He was touching me and trying so hard to make me cum, and I was more turned on with him than I've ever been with anyone other than F and I wanted so badly for him to be the guy that would take me there. I moved his hand a couple times and said breathily, "ooo right there, yeah" and he obliged and didn't feel any ego. I would say, 'is that okay?" and he would answer, "oh yeah, that's so hot,I want to make u cum" and I told him how only 2 guys in my whole life ever made me cum and I wanted him to be my third. I said how I can't relax but how good he made me feel. He said he loved hearing me moan, which of course let me relax even more and moan more, which made hHis kiss me deeper and deeper and fuck me harder and harder! 

And guess what??!!!

He made me cum! He touched me perfectly and I was so aroused I came so quickly. I had the hugest orgasm, and the whole time he was looking right into my eyes. I could tell it meant a lot to him to be able to please me. I knew I could never get enough of this guy. My orgasm ignited even more passion in him and his kisses were so deep, and I loved the way he'd suck and bite my lips.

He came after about an hour or so (I only know this in retrospect) and here's the amazing part--while he was cumming and after, he never stopped kissing me! So many other guys, especially Abercrombie, wipe up and are done, put their pants back on and leave.  Oh. My. God. We kept going. HE kept going. He didn't play with himself to get hard again like some guys do either. Our bodies were intertwined and he just kept kissing me. I have never been kissed like that ever, ever EVER!!! It was so fucking erotic!

So guess what!??

All that kissing made him hard again so we got another go-round of licking, sucking and fucking!! It was insane. We would talk to each other too at times, we were so into each other. I said at one point, "I'm falling for you. I could fall in love with you. Would that be okay?" and he moaned and said, 'oh, yessssss, that would be so wonderful, you can fall in love with me and I'll love fall in love with you too."

I felt so happy and complete.

And all that kissing and moaning and loving and fucking and sucking led to him cumming a second time! He was on his knees as I sucked him and swallowed it all. He tasted delicious. His orgasm was so intense, he threw his head back, and his dick was so hard it was so erotic. I never want to forget that pose. He was so beautiful.

After his second orgasm, he laid down next to me and again, our bodies were totally wrapped around one another. Where one began and the other ended was a blur. And he kept kissing meI! I wasn't sure how much time had passed and I didn't give a fuck. There was no plan, just emotion. I didn't know if he was going to fuck me again and go for orgasm number three or go home. I didn't know if he was going to spend the night. I know I didn't want him to leave that was for sure

We laid there in each other's arms for just a little while, I think till he could catch his breath. The kissing subsided sadly and I knew he was going to get up and leave. Oh, I forgot to tell you he let me take a nude pic of him "just for me so I can play with myself and think of you when I get home" and after he dressed he asked for pics of me too and took several. I had put back on the bra and panty set for the pics. I know I don't photograph well and jokingly said "let me see!" and he would show me and I said "oooo delete! Take another!" so we did that like well uh, Japanese tourists hahaha (pun intended) several times till I was satisfied with the pics.

We talked about getting together the next night too. He was all I wanted. When he left he gave me more of those insanely deep kisses and as he walked out, we both smiled at each other and he blew me a kiss.

I haven't heard from him since.

My heart (and my girl parts) are aching for him. I was devastated he never wrote me back about getting together. I did send him two pics, one from the beach and one I had taken days or weeks before where I looked really pretty and he did respond "looking good" with a smily face with two hearts for eyes. The most romantic emoji of all.

I don't know what happened, I have learned that sometimes I just can't know what I can't know. Maybe he has a girfiriend. My BFF says maybe he's freaked out cuz it was so good. I don't know. But I know I will never forget him and now I have a new standard. 

She reassured me by saying, "he will never forget you either."

I think I fell in love.

I'm so lucky my hubby isn't threatened. He knows the love I have for him eclipses all others. 

I now know what I want. I want HH and if I can't have him (let's face it, we live 2000 miles apart) I want someone just like him.

Mmmmmmm. 

New Tinder boy

I've been on Tinder for oh, probably 6 months and have had some good luck with finding hotties there! I had a "match" yesterday, imagine a blonde Harry Styles. Very cute. Only 19 years old. The way Tinder works is, you can't write anyone until they've "swiped right" and you have too. So, guess we both "swiped right" which means we both liked each other, and then we were able to begin texting each other.

And I just looked for our messages and he's deleted his profile.

Hmmm.

Well, I really can't say it went well. I wasn't impressed.

I WAS impressed with him until he showed up. I loved the way he talked to me. He was very sweet, very very complimentary and very respectful. I get tons of messages and they range from the obscene to the sweet, and he was definitely at the sweet end of the spectrum. He was perfect. He said I was perfect. We exchanged snapchat names and snaps, and he was as cute as his profile pics. Yay!! And he thought I was just perfect. I couldn't wait to meet him.

He insisted he coudn't wait. We discussed our schedules and decided to meet this morning at 7:30. Then after some texting we decided fuck I'd just sneak him in after midnight. So that's what I did last night!

It was pouring rain, but that didn't deter him. He was staying with his mom literally 5 minutes away. He came in and he had a hoodie on. He was much smaller than he looked in his pics (he looked like six feet tall; I think he was more like 5-9) and he was really taken with how big my house was. He wanted a tour so I gave him a short tour, and he was just like "wow" and my house isn't even that big. Then we went upstairs to my bedroom.

I can't remember if he kissed me when we met at the door; I think he did but it was NOTHING like F. He was nothing like F. F devoured me, couldn't get enough of me and was SO into me. This guy, let's call him Harry (for Harry Styles since he looked a lot like him) acted the complete opposite of the way he talked in his texting.

He was attentive once the clothes started coming off. He was very cute, very skinny (yum) and seemed very comfortable with his body. He seemed experienced and wasn't afraid to make the first move. He had sent me a very sexy shirtless Snapchat just before he came over and you could see the tip of his hard cock in it. It got me very turned on.

He took off his hoodie and laid back down and laid down on my bed, and grabbed me and started kissing me. It was passionate and I liked it BUT he tasted like cigarettes. If I'm drunk it turns me on, if I'm not (and I wasn't) it kind of turns me off. But he was a good kisser.

I liked his skinny body and climbed on top of him and straddled him. I loved rubbing my crotch over his hard cock and teasing him. I was wearing a red bra and thong and a sexy red teddy over it. He loved squeezing the shit out of my nipples--no one had ever done it like that before! That was hot. He'd alternate squeezing them with sucking them. That was so hot.

I couldn't wait to taste him. He promised me he was manscaped and he delivered. It was a beautiful sight, and it didn't take me long to slurp those balls right into my mouth and suck that hard cock of his. He wasn't terribly huge which I was glad! I was able to take his entire dick in my mouth. He loved it.

We made out for a little while, then he took off my teddy and undid my bra. It was hot. The guy knew what he was doing. It wasn't too long till he took control and I loved it. He flipped me over, slid off my red panties, grabbed my legs and lifted me to his mouth. He buried his face in my pussy and it was amazing!!!! I wish he'd stayed there longer or gone back for more but he was eager to get inside of me. He asked where the condoms were and grabbed one off my nightstand. This part was so fun--he's on his knees in front of me, big hard dick pointing up at the ceiling and he tears open the package and slides the condom on. Fucking sexy. I'm getting turned on just writing about it!

With one hand on my ass and one hand on his dick, he pushed it into me and fucked me hard. One or two thrusts, and he said, "oh no, I'm coming already" and he was done. I got up and got him a towel and he cleaned himself up in it and I went and tossed it in the trash and came back. He was putting his clothes on when I got back and I said, "Stay please?" He said he wasn't leaving but just wanted to put his clothes on. I said "Ok" and I stayed naked. He laid down on his tummy and I laid down next to him. He got his phone and I got mine; I texted my hubby to let him know what was going on. He was 30,000 feet in the air on a plane headed for Asia but he was super turned on.

Harry scrolled through his pictures and described them to me. He's really into cars and "crotch rockets" and had some cool videos of him racing. What a rush! I liked that he was an adrenaline junkie. So is F. They don't know each other (as far as I know) but they have so much in common. He showed me pics of his sister and his mom, his dad, and his best friend who's in the Army. He seemed like he really just needed to talk about himself to someone who gave a shit, like he was lonely. He seemed very sad, and as he scrolled through his pics he let me see who he really was, which was really awesome. What was sad was he didn't seem interested in ME at all. I offered to show him MY phone, which is full of pics too LOL and he said, "Yeah!" but never put his phone down or ask me to show it to him. He seemed very far away, even though he was laying right next to me.

What I did like was he was a gentleman the whole time, and what I liked was he didn't get all ashamed and get up and leave embarrassedly like my last two Tinder guys. I liked that he stayed, but we didn't really connect. He wasn't into me it seemed. He never really looked at me, or asked me any questions about myself. He was totally into his own world. The only time he was into me was during sex. F was into me before, during AND after and that's what I'm looking for.

Harry had texted me that he wanted to spend the night, or at least stay till the wee morning hours, but he left about an hour after he arrived. He said he had school at 6:30 am, which it occurred to me later that it must've been a lie cuz he had originally been planning on coming to see me THIS morning at 7:30 after I dropped my daughter off at school. SOOOOO......whatever. I mean, I liked him a lot, and I'd definitely give him a second chance, but I won't pursue him at all. It will be up to him. It wasn't satisfying to me at all.

Back to the drawing board as they say.