I haven't had much to write about lately. Ever since Blondie moved on, I haven't had much luck at all. Every time a hottie gets interested lately, they seem to have the same problem I believe Blondie did, which is, I'm married. It appears to be very hard for guys to accept that a hot married girl's husband isn't going to come after them with a shotgun. If I were to lie and say I was divorced, or separated, I wouldn't keep getting shot down (no pun intended!! LOL)
Every time I think, FUCK, there goes another hottie, I just want to scream. There was a super hot high school history teacher I'll call Joe, first year out of college. Twenty-four. He was a "10" for sure. Snapchatting me 24/7. We texted constantly. And then came the question: "how is it someone so gorgeous is actually single??" And whatever answer I gave was insufficient, and he's now ghosting me. He looks at every single snapchat story I post so he's still interested, or curious, or bored, but he hasn't responded to my last 3 texts. Why do guys need me to be single?? It's not like he or any of his young co-horts are looking for wives. What does it matter??!! It's like there's nothing I can say that reassures them sufficiently.
I decided that I'm not going to stoop to lying. It's just not in me. I'm a horrible liar. I'm good at exaggerating the truth LOL but I can't lie. I really can't. I would forget who I told what to, and I know how devastating it feels to be lied to, and I don't want to get involved with someone and then have to say, "there's something I need to tell you." So I will just keep being be, and "ME" is married. I'm not cheating. If you don't know what an "open relationship" is ask me. Or Google it, but it means different things to different people.
That being said, "F" is back! I can't remember if I have written about him on here recently, but yeah, he's back. We haven't gotten together yet (he's still with his girlfriend!!) but true to F form, he gets bored eventually and comes back to me. And then strange thing is, I'm not sure I really care either way. He broke my heart. It was very hard getting over him. And of course my fling with Blondie helped heal that quickly. I was so happy with Blondie, "F who??!!" And then when that ended, I still didn't think of F anymore. I realized I was over him when he came back.
Things are escalating quickly. He is Snapchatting me 3-5 times a day now, which is unbelievable. I'd be lying if I didn't admit I'm flattered and intrigued. The last I sent him was a very sexy pic of me in black lingerie (F LOVES me in lingerie) and a caption that said, "I heard it's someone's birthday". Then another sexy pic, with a caption I wrote that said, "I have a present for you." He sent a pic back immediately, a selfie of him in his car with that mega-watt smile and a caption that said, "tomorrow!" So who knows? Maybe we'll meet up soon. I will most definitely see him, but I know better than to get my heart involved again. He's too young--fuck he's 21 today!!! Younger than my SON!!!! And he will always have a "thing" for me, but like Blondie, will always want a girlfriend--the socially acceptable girl they can plaster all over Facebook. It's all for show.
I try not to make it a habit of looking at Blondie's FB bc it makes me sick to my stomach, but I can't help myself. I'm looking for the elimination of the "relationship with (new chick)" off his page. It's still there. And in my cynicism and heartache, I've spent way too much time analyzing their relationship. They fucking look like brother and sister. Fucking twins. Yin to each other's yang. I can't stand it. And then I get annoyed and think, "I'm done. I'm over you." And then I go and look at the app that tells me who's secretly stalking my FB and the previous man who was once my #1 is now way down to number #154. He's NOT thinking about me. Not right now anyways, and I have to move on. And sometimes I just have to force myself to be grateful for what we had and know that I don't regret a thing. Except not seeing the signs that he was struggling with me being married. I didn't want to see it, I didn't want to let it interfere. But it was there.
I do hope he will boomerang. I think that once you have that strong a connection with someone, that feeling never goes away. That all you have to do is think about that person, and BOOM it's there. Idk for all I know, by the time it happens, if it does, I won't feel the same way anymore. I got over F. I may get over Blondie too.
But he still has one of my earrings. A very nice pair that I thought would be super sexy laying on his dresser. I keep hoping the new chick finds it and he has to think about how it got there. And then, like he told me he did daily, jerk off thinking about me. And then maybe I'll get a text from him. Or he'll add me back on Snapchat.
I really must find someone new.
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If you are a regular reader of my Twitter, you'll know that I recently had a little work done! I had surgery 2 weeks ago, and I'm still in the recovery process and have some residual swelling in my face. I don't want to talk about it other than to say, "LOOK OUT WORLD! ANNA'S BACK!!" I am super happy with the results so far; it's hard to know how it will look when the swelling goes down more but I've been told by a few friends that I look the same, only a much younger version of myself. I'm super excited for that.
It's going to be a great summer!!!
