Sexting and birthday presents

Well I got the text I'd been waiting for! Mickey finally got a phone! It was awesome he wrote me. We wrote back and forth for about an hour and that was it. Considering he most likely still has a girlfriend, I'm not writing first. If he writes, I'll respond, but I'm going to play it cool. He's promised me a private show for my birthday this week ;) woo hoo that would be very nice!

I'm hoping to hook up with Mr. Army Guy tomorrow! It's the only day I'm free this week (and happens to coincide with my birthday week) so yeah that would be an awesome present to myself! If not, well, guess I'll have to go shopping!! LOL

So that's it for now. Details as the fun happens.

A Dry Spell's Not Fun for Me Either

I accidentally left myself online all night and someone crawled out of the woodwork and wrote me a very nice long message!! It was my Army guy, the very first guy I had contact with when I signed up on that dating website. He was very apologetic, said he was embarrassed the way he stood me up, said he was too embarrassed to admit he didn't have the money to even drive to come see me. That he's doing better now and wants to still hook up with me if I could forgive him. Well......duh, I think I could! I think that took guts and I did think he was one of THE hottest guys on the site, even now several months later. I wrote him back, "I accept your apology and I think you deserve a second chance ;)"

I did hear again from Mickey 2 nights ago, and I guess I was right--he does seem desperate. All he wrote was a hello, and an apology, that things weren't going well for him right now. I just told him what I usually say, that I care about him and I'm here if he needs me. He's got his male pride and guess he doesn't want our help.

I have about five "irons in the fire" right now, a mix of young gentlemen who are in some state of flux. One writes almost every day, then nothing. I'm not fast enough for him I guess, so he loses interest and comes back. Two I really like, but I don't hear from them now so I don't know what's up with that. Sometimes I think it's all just a huge waste of time that could be better spent doing more productive things. I just wish I could meet people the old-fashioned way.

I have a best girfriend that is divorced and has been in a long-term relationship with an older gentleman, and she's coming to visit me in a few weeks. I am determined to get her on this dating website so she can meet some younger guys! She'd make a great cougar. She's gorgeous but doesn't know it. They'd go crazy for her.  I told her this older guy is just a "transitional" guy that's helped her get thru her divorce. Now it's time for some younger guys who'll make her feel like a queen!

So hey, I'm sorry if this blog has gotten dry and boring, that's the state of affairs with me right now. My hubby and I need to get out and have some fun too. I know he's bored too. And remember Mickey will always be number one after my hubby--he's the only other guy I have feelings for and everything he says and does affects me. I wish it didn't....but it does. My goal is to let him go; eventually I know I'll have to, so it's best if it's on MY terms. He's far away but close in my mind. My hubby said he'd fly him out to come and see us this month, so he's been on my mind a lot. Guess it's not going to happen, and that's disappointing. I just wish I could meet someone who's as cute as him and makes me feel the way he makes me feel so I could get over him. Our threesomes were sooo awesome.

And after "The Wife" incident, I'm more cautious than ever. I have to make sure who I meet isn't gonna "Mr. Goodbar" me or give me a disease. I'm very picky and I have the right to be. I'm happily married and I don't need anyone else. My hookups are just for fun and I don't need anybody else's drama. I told my hubby I think we should go back to swinging---single guys can be soooo much fun but it leaves him out and that's not fair. I actually like threesomes better anyway.

Ok well that's it for now, hope I have a date soon with Mr. Army Guy!

OMG---Mickey's doing porn for cash!!

Yes, you read that title correctly. Mickey's on an amateur porn website and getting paid to play with himself for anyone that wants to watch him (and pay for it). I don't know how much he makes but he's promised me FREE shows! (I sure as hell ain't paying for it!!).

Backing up for a second---he finally wrote me on Yahoo messenger that he didn't get a phone, but a computer, and wanted to chat with me. He told me he was working on a website "doing private shows for people" and told me the name.  Said he'd be online all night and wanted to talk to me. I did write him, but never saw him online again for several days, until today he finally wrote me. He's at work (pizza place? I don't know, he didn't say).  He's only written me a little, I imagine he's busy, but it's frustrating. I said, "so tell me about his website", and he said, "I touch myself on cam. For money." So of course I had to look him up. OMG I found him right away, his profile telling me all about him, which I already know, all his stats. I feel a little sad seeing him on this, seems like he's, um, I don't know, a little whorish. I know!! Who am I to talk????

I just told him, "remember we talked about doing this, you and me together? Cuz we are so hot together! Wish we still could!!" This site has thousands of young people on it, every kind of sexual fetish you can imagine, girls, guys, couples, gay, straight, bi, trannies, you name it, they're on there, masturbating to make money. Can't believe I considered doing it too. I don't know why but the only emotion I seem to feel about it is sadness. That's my Mickey!! The boy I'm insanely infatuated with, to think he doesn't care who's watching. Getting paid for it is prostitution, but it's legal. I'm just upset about it.

I asked him, "What does your GF think about it?" and he said, and I quote, "...Doesn't care". Not, "She's fine with it", or "She doesn't mind" or "she thinks it's hot", or even, "SHE doesn't care". Just "doesn't care". Maybe I'm making too much out of this. I just feel sad he's doing it. Does he need the money that badly he can't make it any other way?? And I've offered him the moon and the stars.....that he could move in with me and I'd take care of him..That's why I'm sad. He'd rather do this.

Why DOESN'T his GF care? She should. She doesn't love him the way that I do. Or as much as I do.

P.S. NO I'm not getting a subscription to his webcam. It's free or none at all. I can't bear to watch him knowing creepy guys are watching him the same time as me. I want him all to myself, and I always have.

I'll let you know if he writes me more. He's still online but quiet. I have to go to sleep now, and I'll probably miss his messages.

:((

Midnight yahoo message from Mickey!!!!!!!!!

Four days ago I got a yahoo messenger message from Mickey that put me in a great mood for the rest of the day---he simply said, "hey tell me your number again? I'm going to have a phone tomorrow". It came in the middle of the night, as usual. I responded when I saw it--about 12 hours after he wrote it---"yay!" and gave him my cell number.

Like I said, that was FOUR DAYS AGO. I HAVEN'T HEARD FROM HIM SINCE.

He hasn't "tweeted" in nearly 2 weeks. Neither has his girlfriend, and she's the kind that tweets at least once or twice a day. I don't know what's going on with him, with them, whatever.

I haven't seen him online. I'm guessing he quit the pizza job and is only at his new job (phone company). He had free WIFI at the pizza job, that's when I'd hear from him. So I don't know what the fuck is going on. Being patient is not one of my strong suits.

In the meantime, I'm trying like mad to find a new boyfriend. The dating websites are ok, I'm kind of frustrated at them. I am currently IM'ing about 3-4 different guys, but not really excited about any of them. One guy who had a HOT profile pic was on his webcam yesterday afternoon and so I thought, yeah, let's take a look at this guy! I got on my webcam too and YUK HE WAS NOT HOT!!! I was like, damn, how do I get out of this now?? I just said I had to go and clicked off. So now I'm avoiding him.

I did however meet a totally hot guy working at Abercrombie yesterday! He was smokin' hot. Great personality and I don't think he was gay (hard to tell sometimes). He was friendly and funny with me but I don't think he was flirting. Bummer. I'd really rather meet someone the old-fashioned way---which is NOT on a dating website.

Well, like I told my hubby, back to the drawing board. Guess Mickey's not planning on coming out here for my birthday like he said. When I hear from him next I'll ask him. I soooo want to see him again.

-----sigh----

Mickey has a girlfriend....and no, it's not me

I seem to have a knack for getting myself into mischief. Why can't I just leave things alone? Having found Mickey's Twitter page, and everything that happened with me thinking he had a phone and cussing him out and all, I decided to sweetly be one of his "followers".  He had posted a Tweet that said he had a new phone (finally!) and so I replied, "yay! Call me!" and posted my phone number for him. I waited with baited breath (whatever that is LOL) I was SO excited to see a text from him. Sure enough, that evening, I DID get a text from him. On that previous phone number he said wasn't his! He said it was Mickey, he was using his friend's phone, and he went on and on about how "bad move--you have to unfollow me", cuz he has a GF now and he doesn't want her to know about me, etc. I have my blog link on there (my "clean" blog, not this one) but he didn't know that. He thought my blog link was to THIS one and THAT'S why he was freaking out. His texts came rambling out like spitfire. One after the other. Ten total, him just going on and on about how this was "too close to my personal life" and "if you keep this up I won't be able to talk to you anymore." He did say that they weren't exclusive and he still dated other people. 

I was sound asleep when these texts came, and my eyesight is so poor without glasses, and I didn't want my hubby to know what was going on, so I just got online and unfollowed him on his Twitter and said I was sorry, I didn't know he had a GF. Then I realized he was upset because of the blog link, so I reassured him it wasn't the sex blog but my clean one so he needn't worry. He said he had to go and would text me as soon as he got a phone.

I went back to sleep uneasy and when I got up, I got on Yahoo and told him (he was offline) that I wanted to reassure him again that the blog link was my clean one and his GF could read it, my kids read it, it's not the sex one. I told him I unfollowed him anyway out of respect for his relationship. That was over a week ago, and I had not seen him online since. Until----this morning! I woke up and had a message from him! I was sooo happy! It came at 1 am and simply said, "hey are you there?" Of course I wasn't, I was asleep, but I wrote him this morning and he's still online (obviously asleep). So I'm excited to hear from him today! I'm relieved he's not mad at me and we are still ok. WHEW!!!!!!

I just have to tell you that this GF of his is the same girl he cheated on with me when I flew out to see him last year. I saw a text from her on his cell. She'd texted him several times while he was with me, and I've always known him running out of the room on me had something to do with her. I may be brave enough to mention it. For now, let's just say I'm glad he's still in my life, and I know that he loves me. 

Oh! And B texted me, he wants to get together again ;) yay! He's got a new billboard in LA, jeez that guy is amazing looking. And a great kisser. And good in bed. Yummy! so my hubby took some new sexy pics of me and I sent him one. I love thinking about what he did with it ;)