The sex is gonna be so awesome....

If you've read that last post of mine, you have a good idea of how I feel about Mickey right now. So--it should go without saying that I did NOT buy a plane ticket to see him. I don't know if I wrote about it, but about 3 days ago, I got tired of waiting for him to respond about the fact that I'd (lied) and said "flights are so cheap, I bought I ticket to come see you. Even if all we do is have dinner. " Never heard anything, so I poked him and sent a text that said, "So, what's up for next weekend?" He wrote back immediately; said, "what do you mean?" guess he forgot what I'd said a week earlier. (maybe his GF saw it and deleted it, who knows) but anyway, I wrote again that flights were cheap and that I bought a ticket to come see him, even if only for dinner. He responded, "so you want to fly up here for dinner?" I answered back, "well, I'd like more but yeah." He wrote, "Err, I just don't think it's worth it for you to do that." I said,"I can't imagine flying all the way to the west coast and not seeing you. I miss you and I'd love to see you." Never heard back.

Now, dear readers, remember this is before the revelation of a three-year anniversary celebration. For all I knew at that moment, he was single, or maybe seeing someone, cuz he never mentioned HER. Of course, I knew about her, cuz of her Twitter. But I figured it's his burden not mine. He has cheated on her before with me so why would this be any different--he said he wasn't in love, wasn't serious, she owed him money. So I thought I'd go see him.

Since I never heard from him, I didn't actually buy a ticket, and when I went to, they were astronomical. $700 round trip to go 700 miles. Forget it. I was so disappointed; but now I'm thankful. Because knowing what I know now, he really only had two choices--cheat on her, or ditch me. And let's face it, ditching me is a whole lot easier. He really doesn't want me to come. He told me himself, and I quote, "I wouldn't get to spend a whole night with you like I want." So, he wants me to come some OTHER time, God knows when, so we can spend a whole night together. Well, forget it. I'm done. He wants me? He can fucking come see me. And pay for it himself.

On a good note, B has been calling me and we are seeing each other right after I get off the plane tomorrow!! He's so sexy and slutty. I don't know what his thing is about getting me pregnant but he's so persistent. My BFF saw his new commercial and she was drooling over him. "Damn girl!! That's your "B"??? WOWZA!!" She was very impressed. I can't wait to see him. I love his smile, love his body, and love the way he stares into my eyes and is so sweet and gentle. MMMMM yummy!!

I'll write details when I get back. I'm hoping he'll let me take a couple of body pics since he wouldn't let me take any face pics last time. Probably worried I'll go to the National Enquirer or something LOL I'd never do that!!! I just want a pic of us together, just for me.

Ciao my beautiful readers, hope you all have a safe and sexy weekend as well!

Love,
Anna XO

If you really want to impress me, call me at 4 am.......

B called me at 4 am this morning and told me he wants me to come see him as soon as I get to LA! I can't wait to see him. I feel so comfortable with him--he's so sexy, so comfortable in his own skin. He is just easy to be around. He makes me feel so sexy and he just adores me. I hope he does get me pregnant--i'll have him in my life forever. Chances are 50-50 so we'll see. I really don't know why it's so important to him--I'm happy to just keep him my fuck-buddy, we have such a good time together. And I love that I'm his "dirty little secret". Well, I'd like to be more--damn wouldn't it be cool to be on his arm at some red carpet event?? Damn. Who knows. If I have his baby, the press will eventually find out. I like that I know a side of him no one else knows, cuz he is so comfortable with me.  I love the way he looks right into my eyes when he talks to me, those big brown eyes. I told my BFF about his new commercial and sent her his pic and she was like, DAMN he's HOT!!!!!!!!! I told her, yes, he is! I can't wait to grab that luscious long wavy brown hair in my fist while I ride him. Mmmmm 2 weeks!!!

Mickey is AWOL since I texted him I bought a plane ticket to come see him. I haven't heard a peep. I told him tickets were so cheap I decided to just come see him--that I remembered what he said (meaning about "having me in his life sexually right now is not healthy for me") and that I just wanted to have dinner---that I just want to gaze into those gorgeous blue eyes. No response yet. I'm biting at the bit to keep from contacting him--but going to just sit tight.

In the meantime, I'm writing Mr. Irish Accent daily and keeping in great shape for my romp with B (and hopefully Mickey). I'm down to 123 and look pretty good. I'm happy to say I don't think I need to lose any more weight! I'm all muscle now, what with 2 hours of tennis 5 days a week and weightlifting.

On a different note, my hubby's talking about taking a trip to go see his GF, the one that came here. I have to let him go and not make a fuss---it's only right, right?? Although it wasn't part of our original agreement....I get to do what I want so it's only fair. I don't feel threatened by her so maybe she's the right one for him to do this with.

It's funny---B, and Damien, and all these hot 20-something guys, but all my heart wants is Mickey. I'm really trying to leave him alone. He WILL come back to me, he always does. She's 20 for God's sake. And he's a confirmed committment phobe. I just have to sit tight.

Maybe, just maybe, I'll fall for someone else. I really really really want to. I did fall for Jake, but that ended badly. I wish I knew why. He really made me forget Mickey. That relationship had such promise, but maybe it was all in my head. I KNOW I can get over Mickey if I can just find someone to replace him. I've BEEN looking my dear readers! I really have! And I'm STILL looking!

Tomorrow night I will write about my hubby's GF's visit last month. I promise.

Stay tuned.

Love,
Anna XOXO

I was watching TV in the kitchen while I was cooking dinner last night and saw "B" in a commercial! I screamed to my hubby, "THAT'S B! LOOK!! and sure enough, there he was! What a hottie! I can't tell you anymore about it cuz certainly you'd know him....I texted him immediately to tell him I saw him, and of course, since he's got the biggest ego of anyone alive he responded right away. He was pleased as punch. I congratulated him and said I wanted to youtube it so I could see it over and over. He laughed. 


I bought my plane ticket to go see him yesterday! Or--should I say, my hubby did. I will be there in 2 weeks. I can't wait to fuck him! MMMMM "B" is delicious. 


I lied to Mickey and told him I bought a plane ticket to see him. I texted him, "hey, flights are so cheap so I bought a ticket. I'll be there on Nov. 13th. Let's just have dinner. I want to gaze into those amazing blue eyes." That was yesterday--haven't heard back yet. I'm sure he's processing it--he wants to see me, he wants more than dinner--but he's living with his GF. BUT-----and this is a big BUT---he has never admitted to having a girlfriend. He doesn't know I stalk him LOL yes I read his facebook and his GF's twitter--hey, if I didn't, I wouldn't know what the fuck is going on with him! it's a way to protect myself. Yes, and torture myself, that's true.  He told me a couple weeks ago basically not to come, that seeing me sexually "isn't healthy for me right now, I'm trying to do too much", whatever the fuck that means. He talks so cryptically. Why won't he just admit he's got a GF and they're getting serious? Because he doesn't want to hurt me? Please. Yeah right. It's because he doesn't want me to go away. He wants to know that I'll always be here for him when he wants me. It's like in Toy Story, I don't know which one, I think the first, where Woody says, "It's not how much we're played with; it's that we're here when Andy needs us." That's me for Mickey. It's not how much he plays with me, it's that I'm here when he wants me. Don't tell me I'm pathetic. I already know I am. 


I had a conversation with a girlfriend of mine about Mickey, and it really sums up why I put up with him. We were talking about being "in love", and what does that really mean? Is it possessive? What if it's not reciprocated? And I told her, for me being "in love" is this: it's thinking about the other person 24/7. It means that no matter what you are doing, you are thinking about them. It is worrying about their well-being. It means that if they were in trouble or sick you would answer the phone in the middle of the night and listen. It means you'd jump on a plane and be there for them at the drop of a hat. It means you'd give them money you don't have if they were struggling financially. Being "in love" to me means all these things. And no matter how much I'd like it to go away, it hasn't where Mickey is concerned. It's been almost 8 years we've known each other now, and the only way I'll ever truly get over him is probably when I die. I have 2 great loves in my life--him, and my hubby. 


                                      *******************


I'm sorry I haven't had time to tell you all about my hubby's girlfriends' visit. And I'm sorry to say I've run out of time right now. My life has been so hectic and insane, but I PROMISE to write this week. You deserve to hear it. It was a very trying week, good and bad, sexy and unsexy. You will enjoy it though.


Have a good day my beloved readers, and oh, yes, now you know what I look like. Let me know if that changes anything for you in how you perceived me. Did I lack credibility before by hiding my identity? It's scary for me but I thought it necessary. I hope you all approve. I did it for you.


Love,
Anna XO

New profile pic and catching up

Hello my dear readers, I'm sorry so much has happened and I've been so busy I'm way behind. I know you all want to know how it went with my hubby new GF here....and I will tell you everything. I promise. But in the last 2 days there's been a new development with Mickey that I just have to get off my chest.

I have been trying to plan a trip to go see him for 2 weeks now. I'd have bought my plane ticket already but fucking Mickey wouldn't answer my texts or my IM's and so I didn't know if he was going to show up or not. I wanted to make sure what day off he would get so I planned well. We did play phone tag--it was sooo nice to have him call me nearly every day, or he'd answer the phone the second it rang when I called him, but we never talked for more than a couple minutes. He'd wake me in the middle of the night, and apologize for waking me, and then he'd tell me he'd call me tomorrow. This went on for the whole 2 weeks. He'd call me from work and have to hang up and wouldn't call me back till the next day. It was so schizo.

Finally, two days ago, out of the blue (his last text to me was June 2nd) I get a text from him that says, "I can't have you come see me. Having you in my life sexually is not healthy for me. I'm trying to focus on way too much."  I was shocked and sat on that for about a half hour. I was sad, but not surprised. We've been through this before, it's not the first time, so I was disappointed but ok with it. I remember the first time he did this to me---it was 7 years ago.  We had a Friday night date and he called me and told me, "I can't do this anymore", and how I was crying so hard, I was distraught--pleading with him to reconsider. I drove to his apartment and met him there--we sat in my car and he was cold as ice. That was the first time he broke my heart. It wasn't but 2 weeks later he was in my bed.

So I read his text and knew it was that night all over again, only I'm 1800 miles away so I can't just drive there and beg him to reconsider. And I'm a different girl now--I know he'll come back to me, and I told him so.  I asked him what was going on, what changed--that he had said he was single and had asked me to come see him, so WTF? And you know what??! He won't say it. He won't say he has a GF or that they're getting serious cuz he doesn't want to lose me. He talks so cryptically. "I'm not sure about anything right now," he told me. "What aren't you sure about?" I ask. "Work and such", he answers. Refusing to talk about anything in any detail whatsoever.

Knowing full well he wants me and will come back to me, first I was compassionate and told him I was sorry to hear. I was texting my best GF at the same time to get advice, and she thought I ought to tell him about "B". So I did. I said I was going to LA to see my BF and wish I was with him instead. He wrote me, "If I were even to see you now I can't stay the night or spend the day with you like I'd want". Oh happy day!! SEE???!! He DOES still want me!! So that was good enough for me.

I decided to tease him then--told him, "hey! Meet me in LA!!!" he said simply, "Can't".  I sent a sad face, and asked if he'd come here instead. He said he wasn't sure! Which meant "maybe I willl" or "I want to so fucking bad but can't figure out how to actually get away with it." Then my very sexiest naked pic of myself and said, "just to tease you...." and he loved it. It went on from there--I told him about my hubby's GF and sent him a couple pics of the two of us together and he loved them. He asked for more.

I know my Mickey. He loves to be single, he loves to be free. He hates to be tied down. He is a commitment-phobe and he will tire of her. I just have to be patient and not bug him, but yet, at the same time, he craves those texts from me that I am thinking of him.

The last thing I haven't told you is yes, I stalk him on Facebook. He and his GF have pages and although her wall is private, her info is not. It has always said under the relationship status that she is "complicated with...." and Mickey's name and pic. His is private so I can't read it, but I happened to look at their pages again last night and hers said instead, "in a domestic partnership with Mickey." WTF??? I looked at his page, and on his wall he'd written, "sorry, no, I'm not engaged, just clicked the wrong relationship status. I'm not getting married quite yet." To which a female friend who looks about my age wrote, "you're such a tease!" Just tonight I looked at them again and a guy friend wrote on her page, "Are you guys gay?" hahaha yeah WTF a "domestic partnership" doesn't sound very hot or sexy. More like roommates.

I know, I know, I'm just fooling myself. They are living together. But I asked him a few weeks ago--"are you in love?" and he said a resounding NO! So who knows.

I have to let go eventually--maybe he is getting serious about her and doesn't want to hurt my feelings. I need to just let go right now, before I get hurt again. I'm really ok, more disappointed than anything, but sad too.

I'm thinner and in better shape than ever cuz I knew I was going to see him. Well, it will be appreciate by  B! I am excited to see him.

I'll tell you all about my hubby's GF as soon as I have time. It's the middle of the night right now and I have to get up at 6:30 am.

Oh wow!! B is calling!! yay!!! Just when I needed him.

Thanks for reading, and good night.

Love and kisses,
Anna XOXOX

My hubby's GF is coming to visit--and I'm getting anxious

I am SO glad the kids are in school all day long so I have some time alone to myself tomorrow to reflect on the upcoming weekend's events. My hubby's new GF is flying out here on Saturday, and I'm just a mess of mixed feelings.  I can bring out my inner lesbian for a night, if I drink enough, but a whole week?? I'm feeling very anxious. She is almost a complete stranger to me--we do text a little and write on Facebook now and then but she is HIS acquaintance, not mine. I've got to do this for my hubby. He does SO much for me.  He deserves this, I know he does.

My BFF tells me to just embrace her and do it for my hubby.

I want to . I really do. I know she isn't planning on trying to steal my hubby. She sent him a text yesterday that said simply, "I had a dream I was kissing your wife." oooo well isn't THAT interesting??!! So....anyway, I'm going to try to really be a good hostess and be very nice and polite and hopefully drink enough to have some great threesome sex!! I PROMISE to write next week and fill y'all in on our extracurricular activities!!

I told B I went to the gyno (I actually didn't---I looked up info online) and told him I got a "green light". He texted me back ASAP wanting to know what my timeframe was. I said I was planning on coming to see him mid-October. He is soooo excited!!!! (I am too!)

I can't decide how to plan my trip! I want to work in seeing my parents as well--should I see them first? I know I can't wait to see Mickey. I think I'll go see my parents first, then drive to LA and see B and maybe spend the night in LA. Then fly out to see Mickey in Oregon the next morning, it'll be a quick flight. Then fly home, with Mickey's touch still fresh on my skin, his scent still on my body. I want him to drive me to the airport, kiss me goodbye, and drive away thinking about ME. I really can't wait to see him. It's been a year since we saw each other.

I just love how intense he gets with me. He writes me in the middle of the night--"where are you? why aren't you writing me? Talk to me". It's so awesome. I feel so happy.

On a different note, I did meet someone FINALLY who lives in the same city as me!! He is 21, super good-looking--long black hair, dark eyes, very sexy. He took yesterday off from work to meet me but neglected to tell me and I was too busy to see him! I couldn't just drop everything--sadly LOL We are still trying to get together.

I'm still playing tennis with my boss at least once a week, sometimes two, and I'm feeling more and more at ease around him. He's letting his hair grow, and has that stubble from not shaving that is oh so sexy. When he talks I find myself imagining kissing him and realize that I'm not listening! One of these days when he calls me on it, I may have to nerve to admit why. We are working together tomorrow night--a special function--and I don't have to wear my dorky uniform so I plan on flirting heavily with him. My new fantasy about him is to go with him to the storage closet and shut the door (which automatically looks from the outside) and grab him and plant a big wet kiss on that sexy mouth! He's got the most perfect straight, white teeth (next to Mickey) and I'm telling you, the stubble is hella sexy.

Bedtime now my dears. I'll be too busy drinking, smoking pot, and being naked to write till next week so hope y'all have a great weekend and I'll fill you all in on this weekend's shenanigans on Friday (next Friday).

Love always,
Anna XOXOXO

time for a little contemplation...

Hello readers!!!  I welcome new readers and cherish my daily followers. I love to read your blogs as well and I always welcome your comments.

Since my hubby and I started this lifestyle, one of the things that's been the hardest is the secret factor. We have found we live in a sort of sexy bubble, and that very few people we've allowed inside. Friends we've told are usually in the lifestyle too, which is always a relief to be able to share this part of ourselves. We have told NO family, and honestly, with the exceptions of our lovers, only 5 people know. My two best GF's in the whole world and my hubby's best guy buddy he's known for over 20 years. And one other couple who we aren't intimate with (yet--wink wink). That's it. It's a very small circle.

Keeping this a secret can be challenging, especially with my cell phone. Even if it's on vibrate (ooohh) my kids have a knack for picking it up and saying, "mommy! Whos' Mickey?" and further, "who is 555-1212 and why do they keep calling you?" I have to be VERY careful.

Our worst fear, of course, isn't that the kids find out, it's that they suspect one of us is cheating on the other. We do agree that would be worse.

So--why don't we tell them??

We have been doing our research on that very subject. There is a great book we both just read tackling that subject--it's called "Love You Two" by Maria Pallotta-Chiarolli. It's a great work of fiction--the first of its kind actually, about a teenage daughter who stumbles across her mother's diary and finds out she has a male lover who is accepted by the father. It's a story of a teenage daughter's shock and hurt and confusion over this new information and how she deals with it. If affects her relationship with her mother of course. My biggest problem with the book is the father is rarely mentioned. He is just a silent, nodding-in-affirmation character with no voice. He never sits down and talks to her about his involvement or how it feels for him, and she doesn't really show any need to discuss it with him. All her emotion is directed at her mother. It is a good book in the way that I think her reactions are typical of what a teenager would do and feel.

We think our youngest would do fine. She's young enough, and she's actually said some interesting things to me from time to time that make me wonder if she somehow, on some level, already knows. For instance, we were at the beach a few weeks ago, and we were talking about her big brother (who's 16) and all the cute girls on the beach he'd like if he were with us. She said, "You should find a boyfriend Mommy!" I was like, "WTF??" So I said, "I'm married to your daddy sweetheart! I can't have a boyfriend too!" and she said, "Why not? You're hot and I see them stare at you!" OMG this came from my twelve-year-old!! I was perplexed. It would've been a perfect opportunity to tell her....only I was completely unprepared.

My Internet research has affirmed that the younger they find out, the easier it is for them to accept it. BUT--once they're in their teens, it really can be harmful and destructive. Emphasis on "can be"---all kids are different. It's something we think about all the time. In the meantime, we are just very careful.

When Mickey first came into our lives, our kids were very small. Our oldest was 8 and the youngest was 4. They went to bed at 10 and what we did after hours they didn't think to question. Weekend trips away? Yay! Fun with Grandma! It's so different now that they're older--they ask more questions--where did we go, who did we see? We have a great relationship with our kids--we are more open and honest with sex and we talk about everything--except our own sex lives.

Readers? I'm appealing to you. Those of you in the lifestyle with kids--how do you handle everything? Have you told your children, your parents, siblings, co-workers? Reactions? I'd really love to know.

Have a great day.
Love,
Anna XOXO

Hello dear readers, hope you're all enjoying this wonderful summer. I had a nightmare about snow last night LOL I just don't want this warm weather to end! I like walking around in a cami and Daisy-Dukes and flip-flops. I just can't imagine Uggs and gloves and all. Bleh!

Enough of that.

My phone has been busy as usual--haven't heard a peep outta Mickey for about a week, but B has kept me so busy I haven't missed him. He calls me almost every day, texts me constantly. Hubby and I talked over the weekend and we decided to try for his baby! I knew B was waiting to hear from me, so yesterday I just sent him this text--"Let's make a baby sexy man!" and that got the floodgates going!

O-M-G I can't describe what it feels like to have him call me all the time. This gorgeous, Johnny Depp lookalike actor and model on a very famous TV show. My kids would recognize him immediately. What would it be like to REALLY have his baby?? It would mean that he'd be in my life forever. It would mean getting to know him well, having him around. It's so weird. I remember being at his house, and the guys from his show called and they were getting together for a BBQ. I sooo badly wanted to go. I wanted to be asked. I wasn't. He didn't ask me to go with him. I remember feeling hurt and stupid and so skanky----I was good enough to sleep with but not pretty or famous enough to go to a cast party. It stung but I knew I had just met him and maybe in the future I'd be invited.

Well we moved clear across the country---and even though we're 1800 miles apart, he has apparently never stopped thinking about me. I asked him yesterday, "why me?" I mean, he's around gorgeous models all the time, and other famous actresses. He could get anyone. He just sighed and said he didn't want anyone else (to have his baby). He's not professing his love for me. I said, "you're crazy, you know that? " with a laugh. He told me I was crazy too. I said yeah I am. I really don't get him but whatever. I know I could fall in love with him, he's the most perfect looking guy I've ever seen, hung like a horse, but oh so sweet and tender and actually I sense he's fragile. The big ego hides it.

Darin is still in the picture, writes me on yahoo messenger almost every day. Just waiting till he says he's coming to town and we'll hook up. He's sooo fucking hot. I love his lip ring. Drives me nuts.

Remember Danny, the Abercrombie model?? OMG I was in the mall shopping for back-to-school clothes for my daughter, and there he was, a full-size wall pic of him waist up! I almost shit my pants. I just smiled and thought to myself about our nasty Skype fun and when I had a private moment, looked on my phone of the naked pics of him I took while he was on Skype. Yummmy. Damn! I must text him and see if the compliment hooks him back.

Back to B--he wanted to know when. I told him my band was going on tour and we needed to get together when we get back, that I'd go to the doctor and make sure I was good to go. Truth is, my friends, I doubt I can get pregnant. I went into early menopause (like 10 years too early!) but not sure of my fertility. I told him the truth and we'll see what doctor says. Would I lie just to fuck him again?? Absolutely!!

WOW!!!! B is back--full speed ahead!

OMG "B" hasn't stopped texting me, and today he called me 3 times. When I didn't answer, he texted me, "Pick up! Why won't you talk to me??" It was wonderful! I told him, "I'm at work. I can't talk." He said, "Just listen! All you have to do is listen!" I thought he was cute. I told him I'd go for a bathroom break and so I did and I called him back. It was amazing. His voice is smooth as chocolate pudding.

"Hi sexy!" he breathed with that velvet voice of his. "I'm so happy to hear from you!" We chatted for about 5 minutes--I had to get back to work. He told me, "You call me ANYTIME. I will pick up. Text me ANYTIME. I will text you back. You're #1". I was speechless.

It has been about 6 months since I last talked to him, so his response really caught me by surprise. He said he had never stopped thinking about me---even though I moved clear across the country. He's still talking about me having his baby! I played along, cuz I just can't understand a guy wanting someone he hardly knows to have his baby. He was all detail. He asked about my cycle and when I ovulate and all. Of course he then had to send me a pic of his 10 inch cock he was stroking thinking about us being together. He shot his cum into a shot glass and said, "Our children are in here!" I giggled, I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I said, "Aw, how sweet!" hahaha I really couldn't believe it. If I told anyone who this was they'd never believe me. I'd be on every tabloid cover. It's enough to want to just have his baby and I'd be fucking famous.

He said he doesn't really want to be a full-time dad, he knows how I'm such a good mommy and so loving and I'd raise him/her amazing. He said such sweet things to me. He said my hubby would be the "REAL" dad and that he'd of course want to stay in touch and see the child but wouldn't interfere. He said he'd be curious what it would look like and be like, if he/she was musical like him and talented. I just played along cuz it was fun--and I loved the connection with him.

We texted all morning until the phone call. I needed a break from him he was so intense. I said I would think about it. He said talk to hubby and see what he thinks. Believe it or not, I'd do it. It would be awesome. I wanted to have Mickey's baby--I told him that last time we talked--he said too he knew I'd be a great mom cuz I am one--but he's not ready yet. I told him to let me know ;)

I remember when B and I were fucking---me on top, and his phone was on the night stand. It fucking rang constantly. It was either ringing or he was getting texts, it was ridiculous. I remember saying to him, "someone's trying to get ahold of you", it was so distracting and annoying. He said, "oh yeah, it's always like that." Such is the life of a movie star. So--to have him say, "call me anytime, I'll pick up. Text me anytime, I'll text you back", felt amazing. I felt so important to him. Wow, me??? Number one on your list? Ahead of the directors and casting people and managers and everyone?? Wow. I was speechless.

I sent him some of the pics I took for Darin last night--he loved them!! He said I looked better than ever, and, I quote--"Mmmmm u r sexy mommy, sexier than ever. (Anna) your body looks soooo sexy and fertile, let's put a baby in there".  hee hee sooo cute!  

It's almost 2:30 am. I just had to tell you. I am smiling ear-to-ear.

B is coming to visit, Mickey calls me, and a new boytoy shows me his stuff

Since we moved to this new frozen tundra, I've had a hard time meeting new people, not just possible lovers but girlfriends too! I'm lonely a lot of the time. The website I've got a profile on has been a lot of fun and very good for my ego, but I still haven't hooked up with anyone yet!! I know I'm picky, but I have found a lot of attractive guys, given out my cell number, yahoo messenger address, etc., but something always happens. I've been stood up twice; but most of the time texts fly back and forth, nasty pics sent and received,  but when it comes time to actually meeting me, there's always an excuse. I feel like I'm sooo forward sometimes, jeez, like I'm begging, but it gets old. I just want someone to show up!

I'm happy to report that B has come back into the picture suddenly! He is writing me as I write this. I love how he hasn't forgotten about me! He's gotten to be an even bigger star, for those of you new to my blog, I met this gorgeous Johnny Depp lookalike in Hollywood over the summer. He is a model and an actor--he's on a popular TV show (can't say the name) and his face is on billboards all over Hollywood. I found him thru Craigslist ironically, my hubby and I were on a weekend getaway and put an ad on CL for a 3-sum and he answered the ad. I got over 200 replies and his pic was too good to be true, but he was for real! We ended up seeing each other without my hubby (I don't remember why actually...) but it was so fun. (See my detailed sex blog about our encounter--titled "Meeting B--a fantasy fulfilled" in my July 2010 archive).

The big thing with him is, yes, he is full of himself LOL guess he has good reason to be! If I wasn't happily married I'd be in love with him. He was a great fuck too, the biggest cock I've ever had. Even bigger than my hubby, he was at least 10 inches. And honestly, aside from the "WOW" factor, bigger isn't necessarily better. I'm petite, and damn, that thing hurt, as great as it felt it was like "SHIT THAT COCK IS GOING TO KILL ME"!! hahaha but he was the most beautiful man I've ever seen, and he is 25 years old and is totally into ME!

So, ok, B is writing me, that's totally awesome. He still wants me to have his baby LOL he didn't know I moved clear across the country and is trying to figure out how to see me! (I don't want to tell him I can't have kids anymore---it's called menopause---I look 20 years younger than my age so he thinks I can get pregnant. Sadly, I can't). It'll never happen, but if he actually contemplates getting on a plane, I'll tell him the truth.

Mickey is making me crazy. He actually CALLED me a few days ago, it was soooo wonderful to hear his voice. First time I've heard it in 6 months. I loved it. He was at work, and thinking of me :) yay! We had a nice talk. He told me he'd move here in a heartbeat if it wasn't for the snow. He said he hates snow! I didn't know the weather would keep him away.  I get so nervous talking to him--I feel like i'm in high school again, the boy I have a crush on finally calls me and I'm completely shy and tongue-tied. It didn't help that my son was right there, I couldn't say what I wanted. I wanted to tell him, Come here. Leave it all behind and let us take care of you. We love you. You can go back to school. (I did tell him that). You don't have to pay rent. You can cook and clean for us, get a new life for yourself. I love you enough to do that for you. Tell our kids about you. Yes, we both care about you that much. Stop the whoring on that website, and living with someone cuz she owes you money. Where are your morals boy?? But I couldn't say any of that. It was awkward, but I was happy he called me. Happy he wasn't content to just text.

I always come one too strong. We had such a pretty morning yesterday, I took a few pics with my iPhone and sent them to him. Pics of the guest room--"Mickey's room" I told him--our dog running in the snow, and pics of the house. I never heard back. I just texted him, "is everything ok? It's not like you to not text me back." hahah that is the biggest joke of all---he is SOOOO like that!!! (thought I'd try reverse psychology). That was 11 minutes ago and no response. Fucker.

OMG B wants me to fly him out here! HOW COOL IS THAT?????

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I found a very hot, 20 year-old rocker-type on the website yesterday! For me, it was lust at first sight! I got wet just looking at his profile pic. I wrote to him immediately and we exchanged yahoo messenger addresses. I gave him my phone number right away so we could text instead, and we texted all day off and on, lots of sexy pics going back and forth. He wanted to get on the webcam and damn I did too---but  my hubby gave me a better option!! He was horny just hearing about my new crush and we had the hottest sex we've had in a long time! I got Mr. Rocker so hot he sent me a video to my phone of him jerking off. It was sooo exciting to watch! He lives in a neighboring state, about an hour's drive, and wouldn't you know it, he doesn't have a car??? So I told him I'd drive out to see him. He had a zillion excuses. Roommates there. Then he has "things he has to do". I said how about next week? It's his birthday and he's going to be busy all week. Oh well, another hot guy who's all talk. What's up with these guys anyways??

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Still no answer from Mickey. So what else is new.

Guess I gotta get ready for a visit from B! WHOO HOO!!!

Mickey has a girlfriend....and no, it's not me

I seem to have a knack for getting myself into mischief. Why can't I just leave things alone? Having found Mickey's Twitter page, and everything that happened with me thinking he had a phone and cussing him out and all, I decided to sweetly be one of his "followers".  He had posted a Tweet that said he had a new phone (finally!) and so I replied, "yay! Call me!" and posted my phone number for him. I waited with baited breath (whatever that is LOL) I was SO excited to see a text from him. Sure enough, that evening, I DID get a text from him. On that previous phone number he said wasn't his! He said it was Mickey, he was using his friend's phone, and he went on and on about how "bad move--you have to unfollow me", cuz he has a GF now and he doesn't want her to know about me, etc. I have my blog link on there (my "clean" blog, not this one) but he didn't know that. He thought my blog link was to THIS one and THAT'S why he was freaking out. His texts came rambling out like spitfire. One after the other. Ten total, him just going on and on about how this was "too close to my personal life" and "if you keep this up I won't be able to talk to you anymore." He did say that they weren't exclusive and he still dated other people. 

I was sound asleep when these texts came, and my eyesight is so poor without glasses, and I didn't want my hubby to know what was going on, so I just got online and unfollowed him on his Twitter and said I was sorry, I didn't know he had a GF. Then I realized he was upset because of the blog link, so I reassured him it wasn't the sex blog but my clean one so he needn't worry. He said he had to go and would text me as soon as he got a phone.

I went back to sleep uneasy and when I got up, I got on Yahoo and told him (he was offline) that I wanted to reassure him again that the blog link was my clean one and his GF could read it, my kids read it, it's not the sex one. I told him I unfollowed him anyway out of respect for his relationship. That was over a week ago, and I had not seen him online since. Until----this morning! I woke up and had a message from him! I was sooo happy! It came at 1 am and simply said, "hey are you there?" Of course I wasn't, I was asleep, but I wrote him this morning and he's still online (obviously asleep). So I'm excited to hear from him today! I'm relieved he's not mad at me and we are still ok. WHEW!!!!!!

I just have to tell you that this GF of his is the same girl he cheated on with me when I flew out to see him last year. I saw a text from her on his cell. She'd texted him several times while he was with me, and I've always known him running out of the room on me had something to do with her. I may be brave enough to mention it. For now, let's just say I'm glad he's still in my life, and I know that he loves me. 

Oh! And B texted me, he wants to get together again ;) yay! He's got a new billboard in LA, jeez that guy is amazing looking. And a great kisser. And good in bed. Yummy! so my hubby took some new sexy pics of me and I sent him one. I love thinking about what he did with it ;)