How to Have a HEALTHY Threesome

Hello dear readers, I promised you a follow-up to my last post, "You Want a WHAT??!!" 
Not being a guy, I don't know the reasons you guys want to have two women in bed with you at the same time; I can only surmise it's because somehow you've been led to believe two is better than one. Using this premise, I have to tell you, honestly, it's NOT. Even though I'm not a guy. BUT---and I don't want to be a hypocrite here---it CAN be one of the best experiences in your life. SO.....this post is about how to have that fantasy come true and not come back to bite you in the ass.

There's kind of 2 parts to this: One, if you're married or have a SO, the rules are very different than if you're single with no girlfriend/engaged or otherwise. The point is, unless your girl is already freaky, she is not going to be coaxed into letting you bring another woman into your bed. Stop asking her. And don't even think about getting her drunk and "accidentally" making out with another girl to "see if she'll go along with it." I see this on Dr. Phil all the time. Let me tell you, you'll regret it. Either get the fantasy out of your head or leave her and go do it, but don't keep pestering her to satisfy your selfish desires.

Part 2: A "truly" single guy. So....I'll start with that scenario, since that's what my Jordan is fantasizing about.

The question he asked me is, can I find another hot woman to go to bed with him and I?? First of all, I give him that he's so very young and inexperienced. Obviously, he hasn't read my previous post LOL and doesn't get that someone who already is into him wouldn't WANT to share him. Pretty much, that sums me up. Sex with him is so fucking amazing; how do I stand to benefit by getting naked with him and some other hot chick? Would it turn me on to see someone half my age sucking his dick? I doubt it. I think it would probably make me even more self-conscious. Sometimes I think, "Nah, Anna, you would have fun. Cuz he's into you... you know it has nothing to do with him losing interest in you. Rather, he thinks you're SO hot he wants to share YOU!!!!! Not the other way around!!!!" I go back and forth. I'm freaky and kinky. I'm not your typical female, and that's what he doesn't understand. He thinks all women think the way I do. This is the problem.

I remember how badly I wanted Mickey when he had that long-term girlfriend. I had done some serious trolling of her (to look for cracks--was he really that happy with her??) and she was, to my surprise, quite adorable. I trolled her FB page so much I began to have a little crush on her myself! With her amazing intelligence (she was a psych major I think), green eyes, her athletic little 110-pound body and full of tattoos, I could totally see why he was so into her. And of course, prodded on by him, Mickey confided in me he wished he could have both of us. I totally could've done it. I still could. 

That's called POLYAMORY. And it truly would be, W O N D E R F U L. It's what I and my hubby have both wanted for many years. 

The reason we haven't been able to find that wonderful person to have a polyamorous relationship with is primarily because we are programmed to want one person, and one person only (see previous post http://weswing-naughtyanna.blogspot.com). 

I told my husband about Jordan's request. He said, "With nearly 5000 FB friends, does he really need you to find him a girl to have sex with??" RIGHT??? He's a model. He's fucking gorgeous. God's gift to women. I truly mean that with every cell in my body. He is gorgeous. He can get anyone he wants. Every pic he posts gets hundreds of 'likes". So then, why can't he scrap together two of his thousands of followers to have sex with him? He said, "I certainly don't know how to go about this." Dear readers, I hope you know the answer.

BECAUSE NONE OF US WANT TO SHARE HIM. WE WANT HIM ALL FOR OURSELVES.

To bring another woman into bed with him would be the ultimate competition. We'd see for ourselves how another woman sucks and fucks. Maybe she doesn't have bigger tits than us but damn she likes it in the ass and I would never do that. Maybe watching him lick her pussy makes us feel a little gay and wonder about our own sexuality. Maybe she likes my tits and starts to rub my nipples. What then???!!! And as he takes turns with us, flipping us over like a well-cooked grilled cheese sandwich, is he comparing us? "Hmm, that one could use a little more time at the gym" or "damn, I never really noticed her cellulite". This is what we woman think about. We are constantly feeling that never-ending competition with other women! Locker rooms are bad enough! Get naked with our guy AND the hot girl whose locker is next to mine?? Are you fucking insane???!!!

I'll let you in on a little secret. Being with another woman in bed (if you're a woman) is one of the smartest things you can do. And one of the most exciting. I totally recommend it.

So.....how do you go about finding another woman to bed your guy with? Is this another post? Hmmm.. am I digressing? 

To answer Jordan's question, what he needs to do is find two women who find him hot who do not know one another. Like a rock stars' groupies, they are two hot chicks and they have all "just met". This is truly the only way this can work. Because the women start completely even. The understanding is, he likes you both EXACTLY THE SAME. YOU'RE BOTH HOT AND HE ISN'T INTERESTED IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH EITHER OF YOU. At least, that's how it starts out.  Maybe you'll all exchange phone numbers and carry on after said sexual threesome. Maybe not. That's not the point. The point is to try to eliminate competition as much as possible.

What kind of woman would want to bed a guy and another girl at the same time? How does a hot single guy find such a girl? Or two for that matter? That is Jordan's question.

It's not easy, I told him, "it's much more complicated than you would think." And sadly, I don't have an easy answer for him. If I did, my hubby would've gotten the threesomes HE'S been fantasizing about now for, oh, ten years or more. Because the women we've gone to bed with turned out to be whores he cheated on me with and brought them home to me like they were brand new toys out of the box. Never been played with. That wasn't true. My point is, Jordan my sweet, this is how we women are. My hubby knew the only way he'd get me to agree to have another woman in our bed is if he lied and manipulated me to get her there.

We nearly divorced over it.

The only way to get another woman, or two women in your bed, is to just find two women you want to have sex with and ASK THEM if they'd be interested in a threesome.

It's called HONESTY folks. It's not about manipulating people by drugging them with booze until their clothes fall off and then taking advantage of them. Everyone needs to be in agreement about what they want and expect from a threesome. Anything less than that will lead to hurt feelings, diseases, and worse, broken marriages and possibly violence. This is serious stuff here. Threesomes are not to be taken lightly if you're in a committed relationship.

If you're truly single like my Jordan, he shouldn't really have too much trouble finding two women to play with. All he has to do is talk to two women he would like to play with--two women who seem a little freaky (tattoos anyone? Multiple piercings? Likes to take selfies?)  and have a group conversation with them. Take them both out for drinks/dinner/coffee and TALK to them. See how they respond. Let them know that you find them both EQUALLY attractive and that it's all about the sex. That you're not looking to get either of them into a relationship or pregnant. Do they feel the same way??

See, what my uninitiated Jordan and million of single (and taken) guys don't realize is that by crossing over into freak land requires a lot more maturity. It requires honesty above all, and LOTS OF TALKING. There's nothing about threesomes or moresomes that is sneaky, manipulative, or coercive. It's open and honest conversation about what thrills and chills you.

I'll end with an example.

My husband and I had our first threesome with another woman when we first opened our marriage about 12 years ago. This woman he had not cheated on me with and she was truly a gal-pal of ours. She was actually one of our son's teachers and that's how we met. She was "truly" single and the three of us just really hit it off. She was cute and fun and open-minded, as we found out over dinner one night months after meeting her. I don't remember how the conversation started, but we got to feeling safe with her and told her about our open marriage (it was only Mickey then). And sure enough, one thing led to another.

And it was AWESOME. 

I never felt threatened by her presence. And my husband felt too guilty to penetrate her; he was worried how I would really feel the next morning (and thereafter) so he did everything else. It was so exciting. I had never been naked with another woman. I had never so much been touched by another woman, or looked at the way she looked at me. She truly was into both of us, and played with us equally. And she made me cum faster than any guy has ever made me cum. It was wicked and nasty and unsettling to feel turned on by another woman. It made me feel so many different feelings, good and bad, nasty and uptight, kinky and fearful. Seeing my husband respond sexually to her was both incredibly upsetting and exciting. 

Afterwards, we all slept together and by morning, I was mostly ready for her to leave so I could gather myself back together. I have never regretted that night with her. We remained great friends and would've probably had more fun with her but she got engaged and we parted ways. 

How did this threesome make my husband feel?? Like a king. Like the proverbial king being fed grapes by his beautiful harem. It was all about him. We were there to make him feel wanted and desired and special. Guys love watching women naked and pleasing one another. It's even better if it's NOT porn and the women are really enjoying what they're doing to one another, not just performing for you. That's not any fun. When she made me cum, he felt like the luckiest guy on the planet, because that let him know that I wasn't jealous or feeling insecure or threatened in any way. I was participating because I WANTED  to be there. I was having as much fun as him. Did I have uncomfortable feelings? Did I have moments of insecurity and jealousy? Of course I did! BUT I got over them. There's no way to describe how life-changing it can be to get over feeling competitive of another woman for your man. Or any man. Just being secure enough in yourself to enjoy another woman's body and affections and not put a label on it. It didn't turn me gay and I'm able to say I am more open sexually now because of that encounter.

And I had quite a few more since. 

So to wrap it up, a threesome is about feeling loved and desired and doted on. It's sharing and enjoying each other's bodies equally, giving pleasure and receiving pleasure in emotionally and physically healthy ways.

I think everyone should have this experience, I truly do. 

Will I find another girl to share my Jordan with? 

Absolutely not. 

11 reasons why your next girlfriend should be a hotwife

This is for all my lovlies out there! I've been writing this in my head all day.

I'm sure you've heard of the term, "MILF" (Mom-I'd-Like-to-Fuck). When you think of a MILF, you think of the hot married soccer mom who doesn't have a clue how hot she really is. She's oblivious to her hotness as she does her maternal, parental duties, as you, the young hunk, masturbates at home wishing she saw the way you looked at her. And most likely, she's married to an Alpha male who would see the way you look at her and punch you in the face for it.

Now, imagine that married MILF being your girlfriend.

That's what a Hotwife is. 

That's what I am.

A hotwife is really just a MILF whose husband not only "allows" her to have sex with other men, he gets off on it. Sometimes, said husband will want to either participate as a threesome or just watch. In our case, it can be either of those, as well as me being alone with another guy: in our home, at his place, or on a get-away alone with him. Sometimes, the husband won't want details, but rather, a "don't ask, don't tell" policy. Either way, a Hotwife is the MILF of your dreams, because you can have her.

I wasn't always a hotwife. I was a MILF first. Of course, MILF's don't usually know they are MILF's. When Mickey gave me that first long gaze back in 2004 was when I became aware I was a MILF. He was 19 years old, and I knew I was old enough to be his mom. But that didn't bother him in the least; in fact, he'd confided in me he'd always wanted to fuck a much-older woman. In time I began to realize how many really young guys love older women, and in fact, PREFER US TO THEIR YOUNGER COUNTERPARTS. 

I thought it would be fun and informative to write about why YOUR next girlfriend should be a hotwife!!

1. She's great in bed. She loves sex.  A hotwife is not going to be shy, coy, or a cold fish in bed. She is proud of her body and can't wait to show it off to you. She will tell you what she likes and what she doesn't like. She loves to please and speaking for myself, I LOVE to give blowjobs. My young guys tell me these girls half my age suck their dicks for like 30 seconds and they're done cuz they just don't know what to do "down there." She has a variety of toys and isn't embarrassed to use them in front of you. Or on you. Or go to a sex store and get more to play with you. You bring out the kink in her she never knew existed. She will be the best lover you've ever had, and you will be hers. 

2. She can't/doesn't want to get pregnant. A Hotwife usually already has kids of her own. The LAST thing she wants is more! She's getting her groove on and more kids would cause her now exciting sex life to come to a complete halt. Think about all the carefree fucking you can do and never worry about making a baby. 

3. She doesn't want to marry you.  All the young guys I've been with tell me the same thing over and over--these young girls expect a ring if they sleep with them. A Hotwife is already married. You get all the benefits without any of the responsibility. It's what you've always wanted--JUST SEX. AND LOTS OF IT.

4. She's got time for you. A hotwife's kids are usually in high school or college and she's got all day alone in that big house of hers to see you. Want to take an impromptu trip to Vegas? Her hubby won't mind! She can afford for both your plane AND hotel room tickets.

5. She's got the money to take care of herself. And this translates into, SHE LOOKS HOT AND SHE KNOWS IT. A Hotwife has a membership at the most expensive gym in town, and actually goes. OFTEN. She will get a boob job, Botox, designer jeans, expensive facials and mani-pedis, and probably Brazilian waxes too. She is unabashed about this and she'll be the one showing you her new tits in the bathroom. You know already she ages well; she's had babies and still has a flat stomach and a firm butt. Can't say the same for your millenial co-workers. 

6. If she likes you, she will shower you with more than affection. I have been known to pay for airline tickets, concerts, dinners, money, shopping trips, gifts, you name it, to one lover in particular. A hotwife will never forget your birthday, and since money is no object, expect to receive something you've been wanting but think you'll never be able to afford. And since she's already married, you don't have to worry about who-visits-who on major holidays. You know she's going to be too busy for you, BUT with some planning, she WILL make time to see you. And you'll get your present all right. Naked. 

7. She will be discreet. Unless my guy sends ME a friend request, we won't be Facebook friends, but we will be Snapchat or KIK friends. If we are more than that, than we two have a relationship that is very special indeed. I was always Mickeys' "dirty little secret" which was fine for the first 8 years then it was like, "really?? Still pretending you don't know me?" And this was after he met my kids and stayed in my guest room for a week. It began to hurt my feelings. Then I felt less like a hotwife and more like a whore. A hotwife is proud to be your lover and doesn't mind if the whole world knows, but respects that maybe your mom wouldn't approve. 

8. Even if she says the "L-word" (love) she loves her husband more. I tend to fall in love with the guys I have sex with, which is why I'm so picky. I have only been with a handful of guys in the 12 years I've been a hotwife, and I love them all. When any of them call/text and want to see me, I drop everything and squeeze them into my life. And I would do anything for them. They know this and it's reciprocal. My lovers are some of the best friends I have. We can talk freely about anything and everything, since I am the least judgmental person they know. And since we have no mutual friends, I am also the least threatening person they know. I feel safe with them, and they feel safe with me.

9. She's fun to be around. Because there's little or no expectations, you can be yourself around her. Like number 8 above, you can be as freaky as you want with her and she will not laugh in your face or tell you to "grow up" or "that's weird" or anything like that. She sees a side of you no one else gets to see, and that's the ultimate thrill for a hotwife. Seeing your "O" face is what she lives for. That, and, number 10.

10. She's multi-orgasmic.  Since she's so comfortable with her body (read "no hang-ups") she knows what she likes. I've had my young guys tell me the young girls they've been with "hate oral sex" and worse, hate giving oral sex to THEM. They worry about the way they look; they obsess about the way their breasts bounce or if their stomach is flat enough, while I'm obsessing over your sexy, naked body and making sure I don't miss an inch. I'm ready to go, and once you've recovered, I'm ready to go again. A hotwife doesn't get tired of fucking and will NEVER get bored and want you to "hurry up and cum cuz I've got stuff to do today." A hotwife focuses on YOU. She's not thinking about her grocery list while she's sucking your dick. 

11. Compliments will get you everywhere. You don't have to text us every day. Hell, once a week will do just nicely, thank you. But make sure you keep telling us how great we are in bed, what you want to do to us next time, and how beautiful/hot you think we are. If you don't, we will lose interest, and like the proverbial bus, there are plenty of hot guys out there in line waiting for you to step aside. Remember, a hotwife is already married. She's just looking for a little fun on the side, maybe someone hot and wonderful enough to stick around and be more than just a side dish. If she's not getting enough herself, she'll drop you like a hot potato and you won't get a second chance. 

Now, go out and get yourself a hotwife and have fun! Make sure you get yourself tested first---she'll want to go bareback--I know I like it better that way. 

Love, 
Anna XO

Our secret sex lives

Hey! A huge THANK YOU to all you sexy people who took the time to answer my Survey Monkey survey! It is SOOO fun reading everyone's responses. I'm humbled by the sheer number of responses as well as the answers to everyone's favorite sexual position--Doggy-style by a mile!!! Call me old-fashioned but I'm wondering if more guys are taking my survey than the ladies...?? I can't speak for anyone but myself but honestly, doggy-style in my opinion is more sexy for the guys. I personally like a sexual position where we are locking eyes, such as MY personal favorite, GIRL ON TOP!! (which came in second BTW...) Yes.......girl on top. MMMMM....oh sorry!!! I got sidetracked there for a second.....fantasizing.....

Sex is such a fun and secretive topic, and what's interesting also is how many of you aren't living in fear of being discovered for your kinky lifestyle. Maybe many of you don't have children like we do, or maybe you are just one of those free spirits that let's it all hang out. I envy you. I have realized that if we had started our marriage open and raised our kids openly and honestly from day one it would've been better. There's nothing more disturbing for a child than to be aware of his/her parents' sexual activity. (Well, the only thing more disturbing than that I suppose is thinking about one's own children's sexual activity....) But why should it be disturbing?? It shouldn't be. But sex is something we do in secret, and we all have our perversions, and most of us don't have a clue how to talk about sex with our children or our parents. I struggle with this as open as I am!

My mother passed away in April and I never told her about our lifestyle. I'm sure she would've been accepting of it; it's my father knowing that stopped me. He's as conservative as they come. A real Archie Bunker, and I never want him to know. The rest of my family would not accept me and I'd have to hear about it every time we texted or spoke or visited. I never told them about my husband's infidelities either; they'd have judged him and never accepted him back into the family.

I suspect my kids know about our lifestyle; on more than one occasion a text from a guy who's name my kids don't recognize has popped up and created questions. Since we're musicians, we know such a wide variety of people of all ages, I don't get all flustered like I have anything to hide and just say, "oh yeah, he's the drummer from such-and-such, he's the son of a friend of our drummer....." you get the picture. Who knows?? Maybe my daughter has figured it out. All it would take is some serious trolling and she'd figure it out. I have come very close to just sitting her down and telling her. The worst thing would be if she found out and thought I was cheating on her dad. NO SUCH THING. He knows everything. I wouldn't be in the lifestyle any other way but 100% COMPLETE AND TOTAL HONESTY.

I do believe though that teenagers are all wrapped up in themselves. To this day, my son rarely asks me, "SO, how are YOU Mom??" It's all about them. Unless it's IN THEIR FACE and they are forced to deal with it. I've heard from my kid's friends about cheating parents--actually catching them in the act. How horrible would THAT be??? That's abusive. A parent who isn't cheating but instead living the lifestyle has to be a better planner than that and more careful. I always take my kids' plans into consideration. Which is probably why I write about sex more than I actually have it LOL I mean seriously!!! Except for Allen, Jordan is the only other guy I've been with for three years. I flirt shamelessly and make dates but most of the guys are too intimidated to show up. Once my last kid is out of the house (three years) I'm sure I'l turn into the slut I've always dreamed of being!

And with that....happy hump day my sexy friends!!!!

Awesome comment accidentally deleted.....and other stuff

I am a lamer and accidentally deleted a great comment by one of you amazing readers and hope you see this and don't mind writing it again for us. So from now on I'm changing the settings on this blog to let comments just publish themselves rather than going through me. I'm clearly technologically challenged. My sincerest apologies to the author.

Aside from my lameness.....

I love how some men can't stay away for long.....Jake---who did what immature Mickey could not do and that's let me know when he began dating someone seriously--decided last night to follow one of my Twitter accounts. My "safe" one! So that's fun. He looks amazing. In a suit. So I had to private message him how hot he looked. That was a fun surprise I woke up to this morning! And last night, I opened my iPad to read my book at bedtime and there was a message from guess who--Mister Ghost Alcoholic Jay who was on his Skype two hours earlier: "hey baby are you there?" What an ass. I ignored it. He's gonna have to try harder than "hey baby" three weeks after he ignored our evening plans and never responded. Fuck him.

I'm texting two other hotties right now that I "met" on OK Cupid; one's 19 and lives in New Jersey but his father lives nearby and he's planning a visit this summer so we will see if he lasts that long hahahahha. The other lives a lot closer and REALLY wants to meet me. I'm not sure if I'm as crazy about him as he is about me so I'm hesitant. BUT he passed a huge test by being only one of two guys who wished me a happy mother's day. He and Allen. He doesn't know it but that was huge. In the 10 years I've been involved with Mickey, he stopped wishing me happy birthdays and mother's day and most holidays years ago, except for Christmas and New Year's.

I have not heard from Mickey and have absolutely no desire to text or contact him at all. Even in my drunken moments!! LOL He and Jay were #1 and now they are last place. That's what I love about OK Cupid....the cute guys are out there and just waiting to meet someone like me who will show up and have a good time with them!

I'm getting a little bit of my swag back....the weather's been erratic but I've been running and hitting the gym much harder AND eating much healthier. I haven't lost but a pound but knowing I'm taking better care of myself I feel sexier and happier already.  I'm on this super-clean diet and I feel so much more energy already. Yay!!!

BUT......

I still haven't found a woman to play with for my hubby.  I have been trying. I am learning that flakiness is not specific to the male gender. Women play games with me just as much. So frustrating.

Have a good weekend everyone! Stay honest and use those condoms!!!!!

Rough month

SO much has been going on I haven't had a chance to get y'all caught up. I guess I'll get the bad stuff out of the way.....my beloved mother passed away two weeks ago. I jumped on the very first plane out because my brother called me and said she'd slipped into a coma and for me to get there ASAP. I spent 4 days with her and my family at her bedside and she passed away a few hours after we went home for the evening (doctors had said she could go at any minute or it could be weeks). We did a lot of sobbing and talking while I was there and now I'm pretty much in zombie-mode, just keeping busy so I don't fall apart. I will write about her when I am ready. For now, I just want to keep busy.

And part of keeping busy is keeping the hot boys coming. Or should I say "cumming"??? LOL

You have to excuse me; what I've been through these last few weeks have made me  cynical, angry, and more hedonistic than ever. Life is short. I know where we are all headed. I am planning on having as much fun as possible and denying pleasure doesn't make sense to me.

My hubby and I decided to get an OkCupid account, and what fun we are having! We are both logged in on our phones, so anytime someone writes we both get notifications. The profile pic is just me but it's a couples' profile so everyone knows we are together. I have gotten some amazing guys writing me, and i've exchanged phone numbers with a couple. One is 21 with a kid (he's amazing, I really like talking to him) and another is 20 and quite a hottie too. I've been trying to make dates with them and it's so funny how intimidated these young guys are. My hubby just wants to shake them and say, "She's REAL! And she's really nice! Stop worrying!!"

Oh, and btw in case you're wondering, "Jay" has gone AWOL. What an ass. We Skyped when I got back from my trip and he was all gaga over me as usual, but when it comes time to actually get together, he stops texting. I'm SO done with him. I last sent him a sexy pic of me over the weekend and he didn't ever respond. FUCK HIM. And for the record, FUCK MICKEY TOO. We texted while I was in California and my BFF and I went out and I got drunk two days after my mom passed away. I guess I said too much to Mickey and he freaked out. I haven't heard from him since.

What did I say to him you might be wondering? Well, he baited me. He said, "Why are you still so into me when we hardly ever see each other." I should've just said, 'Cuz you're fucking hot" but NOOOOOO the Grey Goose Citron answered, "Cuz you're into me too. You always come back to me. Two years I don't hear from you. Your GF breaks up with you and you run back to me. You always run back to me." And that made him run away from me. I had to laugh. Whatever. I don't really care. He's changed; he's started working out big time and I actually don't like the way he looks anymore! LOL He went from skinny hot rocker boy with all the tats and piercings to big bodybuilder guy. He looks too much like my son now. Ew. Combine that with his arrogance and I'm really not attracted to him anymore. It's just the connection we USED to have. I thought for a long time he really loved me, just didn't know how to express it, but now the way he's been talking lately I feel like WTF why do YOU bother texting ME?? I don't have the energy to give a shit about Jay or Mickey anymore. I really don't. 

There's nothing like losing your mom to feel that bitch-slap up the side of the head that some people just aren't worth your time.

If either of these two new hotties pan out, I'll give them names and keep you updated. For now, we are just flirting like crazy and it is fun, but I get tired of all the of it and then it doesn't lead anywhere. I"m not getting any cuter or younger and I'm annoyed that guys who say they want hot sex with a willing girl really don't want hot sex with a willing girl. I don't know what they want! But I'm real and I'm here and I don't play games. I think guys just don't know how to handle me. They're so used to bitches and drama queens. It's pathetic. 

OH, and yeah, trying to get a girl to join us too to keep hubby happy. How do I feel about it? No different than I ever did, but trying to get over it. I'm numb now and don't really feel much of anything right now, my heart is broken over losing my mom. Sex is just pleasure of the flesh. If someone wants my heart they are going to have to work pretty fucking hard to get it, but it's turned to ice for now.  Oh, and Allen has been a sweetheart through all of this, texting me every few days, asking me how I'm doing. Mickey?? The only thing is said was, "Noooooo! I'm so sorry!" when I told him about my mom, and then the conversation I mentioned earlier. I'm planning on a little fun with my Allen. And did I forget to mention he's looking better than ever??? MMMM sent me new selfies. Yum yum yum. Did I tell you he's a dead ringer for actor Charlie Hunnam from "Sons of Anarchy"? Yes he is! I even sent him pics of the guy to him and he was like, "damn it's like looking in a mirror!!" So you can see why I'm hooked on him!

I'll keep you posted. Have a good week and happy hump day everyone!

Sexual slump continues

Hello my dear readers! I haven't had much to write about these last few months so that explains the dry spell in posts. My hubby and I are working hard on our marriage. We celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary this week and if y'all have been following my other blog you will remember that a year ago I screamed at him that I wanted a divorce and that "I WON'T CHANGE MY MIND". How far we've come.

We're doing pretty well. We had a nice long dinner out to celebrate our anniversary. It went amazingly well. He brought me a dozen red roses and wrote a beautiful letter to me. I wrote him a poem (I have a way with words LOL) and printed out a picture from our wedding day and framed it and decorated the frame. Somehow buying each other gifts didn't seem very appropriate.

We are closer but in a sexual slump. I don't know what's up with me. I'm just not in the mood. I do miss Jake badly lately and his attention is getting me riled up with excitement. Another hottie came out of the woodwork this week--a 22-year-old I "met" on Cougarlife but never hooked up with. That was fun flirting with him. I gotta figure out what's going on with me. My life is so crazy-busy there's no time to think. I try to meditate but I can't sit still.

Hope all is well with you hotties!

Sexy skaterboy is back

Hello all my sexy readers! How are you all doing??? I am sure you are all having way more sex than I am these days. Yep, me and the hubby are still in a funk. It sucks. And it seems the cuties are coming out of the woodwork too. 

I got a random "hey" text from someone I had forgotten; someone I haven't met but have previously exchanged lots of sexts from. I'll call him Damien. He is 26 and lives in Chicago and OMG what a hottie!! Cute skaterboy. Wears his ballcap sideways and his jeans low. I swear I should crop out his face and post his pic with his sexy body for you so you don't think I'm making this shit up.

I have gotten some more sexy pics from Jake as well. Two sexy Chicago boys and who knows when the fuck I'll ever hook up with them??? The whole "open marriage" thing is off the table right now and we can't even talk about it. My H is out of town for work and yeah, I could go and fuck these two hotties and not tell him like he did to me but I'm not that kind of person. So how is it he was...? It's maddening. No wonder we are stuck.

I miss my old life. I miss my sexy young hotties. I miss the way they made me feel. I can't in good conscience go and fuck them now. I deleted my Adult Friend Finder profile and my Cougarlife. They are GONE. I don't miss them...but I met both my Chicago boys on them so I know it was good for me there for awhile.

Sigh.

Enjoy the pics! Have a great day lovers.

Anna XOXOX

Catching up

Hello all you sexy lovelies out there! I wish I had some sexy stories to share. Sadly, I have none. Well, Valentine's day was a bit naughty as I got a pic from Jake that literally made me drool. I should post it on here--I should crop his face out of it and post it. It's a pic of him with just a button-down shirt on, unbuttoned and open, facing a bathroom vanity, holding his (ahem) 10-inch dick in his left hand. Scrubboard stomach. Sexy and skinny. Makes me squirm in my panties just thinking about it! (he is now almost 20 years old....yes, I fucked him when he was just 18). And what a great fuck he was. Yum yum yummy, I really do hope my H and I get things squared away so we can have some fun soon. We are in this awful no-sex dry spell that is not getting any better.

And my Allen texted me a sweet Valentine's Day rose. Yay! That was so sweet ;)

Hubby surprised me with a card that was so sweet it made my son's GF cry when she read it. It was awesome. He also gave me a new Mickey and Minnie Mouse stuffed couple (my favorites!) and cooked me an amazing lobster dinner with raspberry champagne. It was so sweet. He is really trying.

But no sex. I've had bronchitis and a fever and he just let me sleep. I wanted sex anyways; he didn't. I had even showered and put on a bra and panty set he'd given me.  Hmmm.

Weird that I still feel close to him. Guess that's good.

It's been so long now I'm finally starting to really miss it. That's a good thing. I hate dry spells, especially when they are because we are not getting along. He's on a business trip now and it's going ok. Hope I'm feeling better by the time he gets home so we can get our sexy on again. Him turning down sex? That's unusual. He said, "I'm not feeling sexy" and something about "how we related to each other sexually has changed." True. We are not involving other people right now. I'm not seeing anyone else and neither is he. Can we still be interested in each other???

I haven't heard a peep out of Mickey (not the mouse, the asshole) since that email July 31, 2012. I have stalked him and his GF online and he is completely off the map now. He has deleted me off his yahoo messenger, and he has deleted his facebook and every website he used to be on. He is completely offline. She isn't though, and I found a new website she's on that posts pics like Instagram but for iPhone users. It was hard seeing them; pics of him (only one of them together, in a canoe) but there's a pic of 5 red roses taken just 3 days ago, "from my sweet boyfriend". A pic taken from a text he'd sent her from his iPad. Little jokes between them. I shouldn't torture myself that way but I do. I do tell myself I'm better off without him and the truth is, I really don't miss him except once in a while. Guess today was that "once in a while" sort of day. Just curious how long he can keep this up.

I need to focus on ME and get my life together. I am living in the past and I'm stuck, stuck, stuck. My therapist says I'm still grieving the losses; I think he's right.  I'm sick of dealing with the aftershocks of his infidelity. If I choose to stay with him, which I have, I have to continue to deal with it. Some days are easier than others.

Sigh.

Nighty night friends. Hope you all are having lots of honest, protected sex! NO LIES!! NO CHEATING!!!

Moving on without Mickey

Looks like B may finally get his threesome with me and my hubby! We have 2 nights at the Chateau Marmont reserved for late October! If you know anything about Hollywood, you know that this is THE place to be! B lives on Mulholland Drive, which is just a short jaunt from there. We have been texting and I sent him pics of me and my hubby (naked ones too!) and he thinks we are both "sooooooooooo cute!!!" yay! (remember how we found him? We had placed a Craigslist ad in LA for a single guy for a threesome with us. He responded and although it didn't work out that night, he was clearly interested! I can't wait!

I opened my mailbox yesterday and there was a catalog for a well-known clothing store, and yep, there he was, B in several pics!!! It was an ad for teen clothes and yeah, he's 27 but obviously can pass for a teen! He had his usual 5 day shadow LOL and his long, wavy brown hair and big brown eyes and looked adorable and sexy. I took pics of the catalog and texted them to him and told him, "You were in my mailbox today!!"He loved it. He has a huge ego and I'm good at stroking it. (that's not all I'm good at stroking... hehehe).

BTW I am surprisingly FINE about Mickey's recent declaration. I think I've been through SO much with my hubby over the last six months, he just became less important to me. And he ultimately had to choose between me and her, and he chose her, and that's fine. I knew he would so I wasn't surprised. I do feel sad that we never really got very far together. There's a song that perfectly describes us but I can't think of it now. I'll post it soon as I think of it. Anyway, I guess it's over forever, but who knows. Maybe he'll marry her. She's only 21 and I see her marrying a smart professor, someone older eventually. He is not her intellectual equal and I think she will get bored with him eventually. Will he come back if she does dump him? Of course he will! Will I want him or care? Of course I will. He knows it. But I'm not holding my breath.

I've moved on too. And I'm happier than I've been in six months. It's been a long, hard, horrible journey to get here and Mickey showed his true colors--he ran. That's what he does. And then blames it on everyone else.

I'm fine without him. I miss him, but I don't miss the games he plays; the cat and mouse, the not expressing himself and disappearing for months at a time then reappearing. I hate the drama, it's not fun at all. I like Adam, he is turning out to be everything I wanted Mickey to be. Honest, direct, simple, and uncomplicated. No drama. He's the easiest person to be in a relationship with. I am happy with my hubby too, we have worked out our issues and are still working on our marriage so we never get tangled up in a mess like that ever again.

Goodbye Mickey, "one night, and one more time, thanks for the memories, even though they weren't so great, see, he tastes like you but sweeter."---Fall Out Boy

I've been in hell, sorry i haven't posted in a while

Hello my dear readers, yes, you read that right, I've been in HELL for 10 weeks now. My hubby and I are having some serious marital problems. That's all I'm going to say on that subject. It's put a hold on our swinging lifestyle and yes, it hasn't been fun at all. I had to tell my two lovers I can't see them anytime soon. I miss them! They text me to check in from time to time but the answer is still the same, not yet. Sorry.

Let me just add this folks--for any of you married folk considering opening up your marriage the way we did--PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE reconsider. If only ONE of you is truly 'open", it's NOT an open marriage.

The whole idea of an open marriage is a marriage where both people can have sex with other people. The kicker is, YOU HAVE TO TELL YOUR SPOUSE BEFORE ANYTHING HAPPENS WITH OTHER PEOPLE. You have to let the other person know when you find someone attractive, you should be comfortable telling them. If you want to meet that person, have lunch or drinks or kissing or sex, YOU ADMIT IT BEFORE ANYTHING HAPPENS. Anything less than that is called CHEATING PEOPLE.

Traditional (monogamous) couples know that if one of them is kissing another person, you have broken your wedding vows. If you have sex with someone else, you have broken your vows. If you have an open marriage and do these things without telling your spouse, you have broken your vows. It's no different. You have to honor each other and the committments you have made.

Only one of us truly was capable of having an open marriage. And you can tell from this post, that person is me. I kept honest and true to my marriage and the rules of conduct within an open marriage.

I implore other married couples to do some REAL soul-searching, and maybe some counseling, before opening up your marriage to include other people.

I wish I had.

Love,
Anna XO

Drinks at noon, sex by 1:00!

I'm SO excited to meet my new boytoy!! He's gorgeous. He's got black hair, bright blue eyes, and really full lips, just like Mickey. Damn!! He has been persistent in texting me and we are meeting at noon tomorrow, halfway between where we both live. He lives only 15 minutes away from me!!! I am SO glad I finally found someone attractive who will HOPEFULLY show up!!!

I PROMISE to tell you all about it!

Did I tell you he's only 23???

Half my age.

Yum yum!

Polygamy, polyamory, and the benefits of having sex with other people

At work last night, I was listening to a conversation between two co-workers about jealousy in relationships. He's a married guy , about 27, construction worker, with a pregnant wife, who admitted to having cheated on her about a year ago. She's 24, single, intelligent and a psychology student in college. I missed part of their conversation, but I heard them debating the minute differences between an acceptable flirtation from another's partner from a stranger and an unacceptable flirtation. I had to silence my amusement. I didn't say a word. I thought to myself, "if only they knew about me...." and "if only they knew it didn't have to be that way."

As they talked, I was thinking about how much my attitudes about other women have changed in the 8 or 9 years since my hubby and I became swingers. I remember my husband going to a strip bar for his bachelor party and how upset I got. Puh-leeeeze. I can't believe I used to get so jealous.

I honestly think every woman should have a sexual encounter with another woman with her man. (maybe even several!!!) and I also think every guy should have a sexual encounter with another man and his woman. We have much to gain.

If you're reading this, I'm guessing you're pretty open-minded to this idea, if you haven't already done a variation on this yourself. I love that about you!! After Haley's visit, I started to really realize how much her visit did for ME, not to mention boost my hubby's self-esteem.

I was thinking about the way she showed my hubby where my G-spot was (twenty years together and we'd never found it!) and the way she lovingly admired and complimented my girl parts. It was so touching! A woman talks to another woman so differently than a man talks to a woman in bed. How many of you "vanilla" women (meaning "monogamous") wonder what other women are like in bed? Do you wonder if you're "good" enough? Do you wonder what another woman's orgasm looks like? What do other women like? Can you handle seeing your guy touch another woman and let her please him? It's a way to get a glimpse of what your man would be like if he left you/cheated on you/you died and he replaced you. In a safe way. BECAUSE YOU'RE WATCHING

I know this is blasphemous to a great many people, which is why I have to stay anonymous. How many of my "friends" would never speak to me again if they knew? But I believe with my whole heart and soul that my hubby and I have a closer and more honest relationship BECAUSE WE HAVE SEX WITH OTHER PEOPLE.  We face our demons head-on.

Listening to my co-workers last night, it's clear how many people in traditional monogamous relationships believe that we have a right to "own" another person's body and thoughts. It's really amazing. I cringe now when I think back to remembering when I felt that way. How DARE my boyfriend look at another woman's breasts and fantasize about her! What did that say about ME? Didn't that reduce me in his eyes? Didn't it mean I wasn't enough for him? Didn't it mean that I needed a boob job or some other work? NO. It doesn't mean any of those things.

It is so freeing to be able to tell each other, "isn't she/he hot? I'd do him/her right now if I could!!" without feeling threatened!! To actually encourage each other to flirt and be intimate with another person without feeling threatened?! It's a tightrope we walk every day. To say we never get jealous would be a lie. It comes with the lifestyle. BUT---and it's a big but----we deal with it. Couples that swing have no reason to cheat.  Why would I sneak around behind my hubby's back if I can just tell him instead?

In my never-to-be-humble opinion, marriages end because of the fairy-tale idea that there is a "one-and-only" out there for us and we should never ever ever ever ever ever desire another human being. This is an archaic and impossible way to live. Admitting our attractions to other people--even if we don't act on them--is healthy in a relationship. Once we get past the honeymoon stage, it's inevitable and we stick our heads in the sand to deny it.

         **********************************************************************

I have to take a moment to comment on a new show out there called, "Sister Wives". No, I haven't seen it, but the cast was on Dr. Phil a few weeks back and I did see that. Basically, it's polygamy. A guy has three "wives" (only one is really considered a "legal" wife) and they have about 25 children between them. They have a huge house, and every "wife" has her own bedroom and the husband stays with each wife one-at-a-time, alternating nights. He admitted he doesn't have his own bedroom. He's not that good-looking at all, but it's apparent to me that he must be great in bed--not having his own room for the occasional night he's not in the mood and pleasing 3 women on a continual basis?? hee hee wow I'd love to get a glimpse of the size of his cock......whoops!! Got off topic and distracted.....

Ok, so here's the thing people---this is NOT polyamory. This is polygamy. There is a HUGE fucking difference. You know what the biggest difference is between the two? The fucking!! In a polygamous relationship, the wives are all having sex with the husband and he's having sex with them--but one-on-one. The women do NOT have sex with each other. (Like I said, the guy must be a total stud). In a polyamorous situation, everyone has sex with everybody else (usually). And it's not just about the husband. A wife can have several male lovers. I've never heard of a polygamist being a woman with several husbands. WHY THE FUCK NOT???????   I wouldn't call Mickey my "husband" nor would he call me his "wife" if he moved in with us. He'd simply be our or my lover. Same with Haley or any other woman if she came to be involved with us on a regular basis, or even moved in. Yes, if children came from any of these relationships, we'd raise them all together like the polygamous family on TV. But we wouldn't say we were "married" to each other, because in polymory, we don't own each other.

Another big difference is that in polygamy, religion is usually the reason they are together. This TV family is a hugely religious family. My hubby and I consider ourselves "spiritual" but don't believe in organized religion. We are not morally bankrupt because we have an open marriage! Just because we don't have sex with other people purely for procreation doesn't make us any less ethical than polygamists. One is against the law; the other isn't.  You can't legally marry more than one person at a time in our society. I think that maybe that is the last taboo--why can't you?? What harm are they doing? They claim to be very happy in their situation so who are we to judge? And the kids are happy! I think that in this day and age, the one-size-fits-all household went by the wayside more than a decade ago when it became socially acceptable for single moms and two-gay moms and or dads. Is this really so way-out there? I think not.

           ***************************************

I feel sexier and better about myself having had sex with other women, and I am more attracted to my hubby as well. Having had multiple partners--men and women, and couples (safe sex always...I must add) has deepened our trust and love for each other. It doesn't diminish what we feel for each other, as we always put our relationship first. And when we have struggles, we talk about it. I no longer feel unattractive as I have opened up myself to having partners of both sexes. I don't get creeped out like I used to in my younger days when a girl sidles up to me in a bar restroom and tells me how pretty I am. I think, "ooooo, you're a hottie too!" and who knows what the night will hold after that? And when a young guy hottie shows interest, I can go there too. It's wonderful. My hang-ups are pretty much gone now, as I know how to please not only guys in bed but women too. And I'll never forget Haley telling me I have the "prettiest little pussy she'd ever seen". That just makes my day.

 

A new movie is out about swinging

There's a new movie that just came out called, "Swinging With the Finkles", and I just heard about it. I saw the trailer, and I had to run straight to my laptop and tell you all about it! It stars Martin Freeman and Mandy Moore as your typical adorable but bored married couple who decide to spice things up a bit in the bedroom by swinging with another married couple. I have not seen it yet---I merely saw a pop-up ad for it on Facebook this morning.

If I were 20 years younger, I'd probably laugh my head off at this movie, like my teenage son did when he and his teenage friends watched "Hall Pass". The subtext goes right over their immature pre-frontal-cortex brains. I tried to have a conversation about that movie and it was futile--he thought it was insanely funny and for that, Hollywood succeeded.

This appears to me to be another lame Hollywood attempt to broach the subject of what to do when married couples hit that inevitable plateau in their sex lives. The biggest problem with these types of movies is that they are made to be palatable for everyone, because the more people that go to see it, the more money they'll make. And Hollywood is all about the bottom line.

Since I haven't seen the film (and intend to do so ASAP) I will instead offer what I wish Hollywood, or most likely, an Idie film company do. And readers, if you know of such a film exists, I hope you'll let me know.

It seems from the trailer that as this married couple decide to find another couple to swing with, they "interview" prospective couples from the living room couch the way you'd interview a housekeeper or babysitter.  Those of us who are ACTUAL swingers know it doesn't work that way! First of all, how did they end up on their couch? Will Hollywood show the Adult Friend Finder or Craigslist ads of this couple? No, probably not.

What I do like from the trailer, however, is the subject of man-with- man sex is addressed. But, of course, it appears it takes the subject lightly--"this doesn't mean I'm gay does it?" the husband asks the other man. "Of course not", he says. I would like to see a man embracing his bi-sexuality. Why can't he enjoy his gay side? If anyone cares to know this, the Kinsey scale on pure heterosexuality is not the norm.  I get so so tired of it being socially acceptable for women to be tit-on-tit but two penises touching? So scandalous!!! Check it out on Kinsey's official site: http://www.iub.edu/~kinsey/research/ak-hhscale.html#what

I would like to see, and maybe if it doesn't exist I should write it---the serious, sometimes funny, always sexy and raunchy truth about swinging. Wouldn't you? Is America truly not ready for the truth? After all, "Swinging with the Finkles" is a British movie.

That's it. I'm doing it. I'm going to write it myself.

Who should star in it? How about two completely unknown and talented actors?

Gotta go.

Check out the trailer: http://youtu.be/6tKycPLM0po

time for a little contemplation...

Hello readers!!!  I welcome new readers and cherish my daily followers. I love to read your blogs as well and I always welcome your comments.

Since my hubby and I started this lifestyle, one of the things that's been the hardest is the secret factor. We have found we live in a sort of sexy bubble, and that very few people we've allowed inside. Friends we've told are usually in the lifestyle too, which is always a relief to be able to share this part of ourselves. We have told NO family, and honestly, with the exceptions of our lovers, only 5 people know. My two best GF's in the whole world and my hubby's best guy buddy he's known for over 20 years. And one other couple who we aren't intimate with (yet--wink wink). That's it. It's a very small circle.

Keeping this a secret can be challenging, especially with my cell phone. Even if it's on vibrate (ooohh) my kids have a knack for picking it up and saying, "mommy! Whos' Mickey?" and further, "who is 555-1212 and why do they keep calling you?" I have to be VERY careful.

Our worst fear, of course, isn't that the kids find out, it's that they suspect one of us is cheating on the other. We do agree that would be worse.

So--why don't we tell them??

We have been doing our research on that very subject. There is a great book we both just read tackling that subject--it's called "Love You Two" by Maria Pallotta-Chiarolli. It's a great work of fiction--the first of its kind actually, about a teenage daughter who stumbles across her mother's diary and finds out she has a male lover who is accepted by the father. It's a story of a teenage daughter's shock and hurt and confusion over this new information and how she deals with it. If affects her relationship with her mother of course. My biggest problem with the book is the father is rarely mentioned. He is just a silent, nodding-in-affirmation character with no voice. He never sits down and talks to her about his involvement or how it feels for him, and she doesn't really show any need to discuss it with him. All her emotion is directed at her mother. It is a good book in the way that I think her reactions are typical of what a teenager would do and feel.

We think our youngest would do fine. She's young enough, and she's actually said some interesting things to me from time to time that make me wonder if she somehow, on some level, already knows. For instance, we were at the beach a few weeks ago, and we were talking about her big brother (who's 16) and all the cute girls on the beach he'd like if he were with us. She said, "You should find a boyfriend Mommy!" I was like, "WTF??" So I said, "I'm married to your daddy sweetheart! I can't have a boyfriend too!" and she said, "Why not? You're hot and I see them stare at you!" OMG this came from my twelve-year-old!! I was perplexed. It would've been a perfect opportunity to tell her....only I was completely unprepared.

My Internet research has affirmed that the younger they find out, the easier it is for them to accept it. BUT--once they're in their teens, it really can be harmful and destructive. Emphasis on "can be"---all kids are different. It's something we think about all the time. In the meantime, we are just very careful.

When Mickey first came into our lives, our kids were very small. Our oldest was 8 and the youngest was 4. They went to bed at 10 and what we did after hours they didn't think to question. Weekend trips away? Yay! Fun with Grandma! It's so different now that they're older--they ask more questions--where did we go, who did we see? We have a great relationship with our kids--we are more open and honest with sex and we talk about everything--except our own sex lives.

Readers? I'm appealing to you. Those of you in the lifestyle with kids--how do you handle everything? Have you told your children, your parents, siblings, co-workers? Reactions? I'd really love to know.

Have a great day.
Love,
Anna XOXO

Margaret Cho on "The Talk"---about her open marriage

Check it out!!!!

http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2011/06/margaret-cho-on-her-poly-life.html


Now that you've watched it, let me just add that polyamory is NOT polygamy folks!!! Look it up. Jeez.

It's been a strange week.....

That's for sure. Mickey's back, and Nico's gone AWOL.  Unless I contact him first, I don't hear from him. He had a date this week so guess his car is working--which makes me assume he's not interested anymore. He had said that nothing could keep him from me except the car not running...so I'm still holding out hope he'll text me tomorrow and say he's still coming on Saturday, but at this point, I haven't heard from him all week except the one time I texted him. --sigh--I'm very sad, this was a good guy, I still really like him. A lot. Oh well. :`/

Mickey has contacted me every single day this week but yesterday! He writes me in the wee hours of the morning when he gets home from work and he stays up till about 8 am his time and then says "goodnight" and then logs off and it's another 24 hours till I hear from him again. He got on his webcam! Mine wasn't working for whatever stupid reason--but I could see him! OMG I haven't seen his face since August 9th last year when he came to visit. He looks as hot and sexy as always. His hair is short, but not as short as I'd imagined (like a buzz-cut). I was longish around his face, jet-black and he looked really really cute. That disarming smile. Soooo wicked. Dimples and perfectly white and straight teeth. I think all the time about posting a pic of him on here so you could all see him. But--I can't do that. DAMN!!! Maybe some day I'll come out of the proverbial closet and post all my gorgeous men and ladies on here!

Anyway--tee hee--I got sidetracked there for a second---nothing really erotic happened except Mickey was in these boxers he was proud to show off to me--and then took his penis out and flipped it around for me, laughing and being silly the whole time. It was erotic and hilarious at the same time. Then he just pushed it back in his boxers and sat back down on the couch. It was fun. I love that side of him, the silly, mischievous kid. We just chatted then about nothing I can remember--it was just so nice seeing his face again after almost a year.

He told me he was living with his girlfriend, but had JUST broken up with her. He said, and I quote, "so you can come see me now." Yes, he actually said that. Then I said, "or you come here? I'll let you drive my car!" For you new readers, he loves loves loves my car. (I can't tell you what it is. I have to stay anonymous or I'll have to stop writing.)  He said, "I WILL see you again." yay! I love that I'm first on his mind again. For now.

He's so far away, and I'm lonely and horny now, and I'm frustrated with all these guys who tell me how "hot" I am but just fade away after a few days of texting and exchanging pictures. WTF?? Am I scaring them all away?? My hubby says it's cuz I'm married. They're afraid of The Husband. I guess I have to remember that it's unusual what we do and who we are, and most people think it's weird.

But the thing is, I'm honest and straightforward on my website and I never lie about being married, or that I'm in love with my husband. And that we are swingers, and that although we love threesomes we do allow each other "hall passes" as it were. The guys I talk to always say they don't care, that it doesn't matter, but when it comes time to pin them down for a date, they disappear. It gets so annoying.

I've got so many phone numbers in my cell now I get the guys mixed up. Seriously!! One night I thought I was writing Nico and I was writing a guy I didn't want to have anything to do with. His profile pic was hot but then when we started texting he sent a pic that I didn't care for at all. This happens ALL THE TIME.  VERY ANNOYING!!!! Anyway, I'd say that at any given moment, I've got about 3-5 guys I'm trying out to see if any of them are willing to follow through on their promises.

I'm very picky about who I sleep with. I'm not a sex addict. I'm a love addict. I love the attention, I love the compliments and I love knowing that they're thinking about me. I love knowing that I'm wanted and sought after. When the texts stop coming, it's painful for me and hard for me to just switch it off. I don't give just anyone my number--I get about 25 new messages a day and believe me, I hardly ever write anybody back. So when I do, I mean business. I will show up and sleep with them--if they'd fucking show up!!!!

I'm very tired and sad about Nico's apparent change of heart right now. My hubby has also been out of town for nearly a week and I am lonely and exhausted from work. Nico's been stringing me along for going-on  3 weeks now with the whole  car not working bit and I know I will be sooo sad and disappointed if he doesn't write me tomorrow and tell me he's coming to see me. I will be trying my damndest not to write him first. I'm sure I'll fail at it.

I guess that's it for now.

Bleh.

A new hottie for me!! yay!!!!

Ah, I love you my readers! Thank you for the prodding. I know I'm behind again--I had a house full of guests from out of state--NO unfortunately not the kind I was hoping for LOL but got my house back so now I have my privacy again. A lot has happened so I need to get this blog updated.

First of all, my plan to meet Jake was interesting! We had rented a houseboat the day of his concert, and we didn't get there till his band was playing like the last 5 minutes of their last song!! I was so bummed but glad I got to see him play a little. He's the drummer, and he was playing shirtless (--sigh--so yummy) and his band was actually pretty good. When the song ended, he tossed his drumsticks into the crowd, it was so rocker-esque I had to laugh.  Their were a few hundred people there, and a bunch of teen girls in the band's logo T-shirts, it was cute. They had groupies! I felt out of place, but I was determined to see him.

They were busy packing up, and I went around backstage to the exit door, hoping to catch him. It was blocked off. I couldn't get through. I realized I had to give up my fantasy of seeing him. He was there, I was there, it had been over a month, and I hadn't heard a peep out of him. My common sense knew I should just walk away and let it go. I looked good, I wanted him to see me, I wanted him to know I came to support him and his band, but it looked like it wasn't going to happen.  My hubby gave me a hug and said he was sorry it turned out this way. So I did--I walked away.

We went to get something to eat, and i just couldn't stop thinking about how many thousands of people were at this music festival--and how he and I were here, but not together. I really was missing him. I didn't even want to be there anymore. He was my reason for going. I couldn't help but scan the crowd for his face as we walked. And lo and behold, there he was!! He was standing in the middle of where everyone was walking, talking to his guitarist and a girl. I literally stopped dead in my tracks and went over to them. He was wearing a purple t-shirt and jeans and he looked as amazing as I'd remembered.

"Hi there!" I said to him, and I'm sure my knees were wobbly. The three of the stopped talking and just stared at me. Jake looked like a fucking deer in the headlights. He liked, bobbed his head back in disbelief. I said, "You guys were awesome!!" (he didn't need to know I only heard 5 minutes!!!) He said, "you saw us??" and I said, "I told you I bought tickets, remember?" he said, "WOW you came!" like he was happy. He outstretched his arms wide and smiled at me. "C'mere! he said and gave me a huge hug. It was wonderful.

After we hugged, he introduced me to the guitarist (don't remember his name) and the girl was his GF. He was very nice, she was cold as ice, staring at me like I was an enemy. The guitarist was super outgoing and friendly; I can't remember now what he was saying but as he was talking I was thinking, damn, this guy is HOT! And he's nice to me! The whole meeting lasted like, 3 minutes. I was happy I saw Jake, and I knew I looked hot, tan and thin and my hair looked good, makeup and all. I had primped just for him--I had fantasized about this moment for a whole month. I said something about nice meeting you to the guitarist and his GF and looked at Jake and said it was nice seeing him. He gave me another hug---initiated BY HIM MIND YOU and I said a sexy "bye" and waved and walked away. I have still not heard a peep from him.  Which I expected--but STILL. I sent him 2-3 pics of him and his band I'd taken while they were performing and thought I'd at least get a "thank you" but nah, nothing. Oh well. He's only 19 (just had a birthday) so who knows. My band is going to play this festival next summer so things will heat up, I just know it. I'm going to have our manager book our bands together ;)

Mickey is completely out of the picture now. Not returning any of my text or responding to any of my yahoo messenger texts. I saw him online a few times but nothing. I finally told him, "I don't know what's going on with you--but I'm here. I love you and all the ignoring in the world won't change that." That was 2 weeks ago. I googled him--yep, needed to know WTF?? Is he dead somewhere??? and it turns out he's online like 24/7 playing those stupid video games. "Black Ops" or what-the-fuck who gives a shit??? If he'd rather play video games than talk to me fuck him. I don't give a fuck. It's easy to let him go. I don't come second to a fucking video game.

I was trying to get him to text me back. What's worked in the past is when I'd say, "are you upset with me?" he'd always write back, "no, just busy sweety." this time nothing. And after I met Jake, I told him, "I met someone....." and he wrote back, "NOOOOOOOO!!!!! say it isn't so!!!" But this time, no response. Hmmm. I guess the GF is checking his texts and he's on a tight leash. I'm going to just sit this boy out for awhile. He always comes back. That I can count on--Mickey ALWAYS comes back.

Of course--it's easier to let him go now cuz there's someone new in the picture.....someone who I can't believe I actually told him about this blog and he's reading it! He loves it, but i feel like I can't talk about him knowing he's reading it. I will say this for you readers---he is everything so far that I used to get from Mickey. Back in the day, when he'd text me all day long, or text me back immediately when I'd text him. Mickey used to make me feel soooo wanted, so loved, so needed. And Nico, as I will call him, is doing that for me now. We "met" on that dating website 2 weeks ago. He contacted me. He wrote me the sweetest message. Most guys just say things like, "You're beautiful. I have a big cock, do you want to suck it?" and totally grosses me out. Nico didn't write anything like that. He did compliment me which was sweet and told me about himself. Honestly?? Between his pics and his profile, he is so much like Mickey it's eery. They both have a lot of tattoos and gauged ears and both are young (Nico is only 21! Mickey is 26) but the similarities are numerous. But of course, Nico is not Mickey. Nico is mature for his age and treats me so much better. I've known Mickey 8 years now, and he treats me like shit.

I haven't even met Nico yet! We had plans to meet last Saturday night but he said he had car trouble. I didn't believe him at first cuz I've heard it before. But I do now. I saw that he'd written it on his Facebook page. Yes, we are even Facebook friends. Mickey would never accept me. I was his dirty little secret. I feel like I'm healing through Nico.

We Skyped a few nights ago---WOW readers you MUST try it!! It's soooo fun!! I was so nervous at first, and for some reason my stupid webcam wouldn't work but I got to watch Nico jerk off for me. It was soooo exciting! OMG I was totally turned on! It was a shame he couldn't watch me cuz I couldn't help but touch myself watching him! It was fun seeing him as if I was right there. He's cute and sexy and so sweet. He lives so far away though--about 2-1/2 hours--but he seems unaffected by it. He said he's getting his car fixed and plans to come see me next weekend. So, we'll see, I'm not jaded but it's hard to get my hopes up.

Thankfully, my band is going well, although we lost another bass player. We're auditioning more this week but it's frustrating. We are ready to gig and we lose momentum and time. Between my job as a bartender and the band, I'm finally happy here. I am happy when I hear from Nico, he always makes my day that's for sure. Did I mention I have a huge crush on him???

OMG I totally forgot to mention my hubby has a new hottie too! She's someone he used to work with with his old company. She was just an hourly and of course he was the vice president, so they hardly had any contact. She found him out of the blue on FB and she lives in another state, but she's had the hots for him bad! I've been texting her--guess she's bi--and she thinks I'm gorgeous and she looks like a Suicide Girl--green eyes and black hair and tattoos--SHE'S gorgeous! She may come visit us. The girl we had a threesome with a few months ago wants to come visit too. Not sure how I'm feeling about that. She's the one I freaked out on, but we've been texting and things are good.

Whew! That was a lot to get caught up on. Let me know what you think my dear readers. I love your comments and emails--and thanks for the Skype offers you devislish nasty male readers out there! hahha That's just for Nico.

Have a great day everybody!!!

Love,
Anna XOXOXOX