Feast or famine...and it's feasting time

Hello dear readers! Hope all you sexy mutherfuckers had a great Valentine's Day!!! From what I've read on my Twitter feed, it looks like there was quite a bit of fucking going on. Naughty naughty!!!

I myself had a new hottie over last Wednesday, a cute guy I met him Tinder. Brown hair, brown eyes, just my type. He came to my door and he was actually a little heavy, but I thought, eh, I'm a little chubby these days so WTF. He was 25 years old. Barely a little more than half my age. He was at the same college where I take my writing class which is only 5 min away. He had said his class ended at noon and he'd come right over after.

I always get so nervous with someone new and since I'd poured out all the vodka in the house after discovering my daughter had been pilfering it, I didn't have any to calm my nerves. I did find an unopened "Kinky" vodka, which was pink and a mix of mango and other juices, not really what I wanted but oh well what the hell. I opened it up and poured some into a rocks glass and started sipping. By 12:15 I was getting loaded (I hadn't eaten..too nervous) and not a peep from him. I turned on my PA and plugged in my mic and iPhone and started singing to pass the time. I haven't sung since our last band rehearsal and I was happily surprised that my voice was so strong! I belted out to "Without You" by Motley Crue and "Down Boys" by Warrant, two songs I always wanted to do but the band didn't want to do. I just sang them over and over till a text from him finally came. He was on his way. I texted my hubby right away and he was excited for me and told me to "have fun!!"

When he finally arrived, it was like 12:40 and I was lit. Wearing a red negligee (the same one I wore for F) I had been singing and dancing around my living room and was in such a happy mood. He came in, smiling huge, happy to see me. I tried to put him at ease and said, "yay! you're even cuter than your profile picture!" He took off his boots and jacket, and clearly he hadn't done anything like this before. It was cute. He started to undress right there so I took his hands and stopped him. I told him what I had been doing and did he want something to drink? He said "sure" and I told him the story about why I was drinking the girly vodka. I got a sense he really didn't know what to make of me. While we were standing in the kitchen, I just got in his face and gave him a juicy kiss and said, 'Sorry!! Just had to do that!! Hope that was okay!!" and he giggled and said, "Of course!" He was wearing the dorkiest sweatshirt...it said "Wisconsin" on it and had a picture of a mallard duck. I laughed and mentioned how dorky it was but that I love ducks. He giggled.

Within like 5 minutes, I took him by the hand upstairs. He was late, and we only had an hour cuz I had to leave by 1:50 to pick up my daughter from school.  When we got to my room, he undressed quickly and was totally naked and laid down on my bed. He had a huge dick and it was rock hard and he was ready to go. I went down on him first, and he loved it. I worked my way around his dick and balls and he moaned with delight. We had discussed the whole condom thing in texting and he said he was clean; he hadn't been with anyone else for a really long time anyways. (Hard to believe! He was really cute!) I then laid down next to him and he got on top of me and put his dick in me and pulled out after just a couple thrusts. He came on top of me, like 5 seconds after he started. He was so upset. After he cleaned us up, I said, "Here, come lay with me" and he said, "I'm not the cuddling kind" as he put his clothes back on. I was like, "what's wrong?" dummy me didn't really get why that made him so upset. He mumbled something like, "I shouldn't have come here. I have work I need to do for my dad" or something like that. I said kindly, "That was hot. You were so turned on by me you came quickly. Who cares? Let's go for round 2!" But he wasn't interested. He left so quickly my head was spinning.

I texted him right away that I took it as a compliment, etc. and that I would love to see him again. Never heard back.  I don't know what to think. Guess I'd have to be a guy to get it. Maybe someone can explain it to me. 

I'm still obsessed with F and think of him every day. I have checked his Instagram, which he's blocked me from (nice, right??) but I can see it if I Google it. He seems to still be with the ex-gf who cheated on him, but no new pics of her. AND his FB still says he's single. So whatever. I'm really hoping something happens with this new guy to take my mind off him. He's super cute, and I think he's 22, blond and blue-eyed and a snowboarder to boot. I'll call him "K". Totally hot and sexy. And SWEET. We've been writing back and forth for over a week, almost two maybe? I feel more comfortable with him than anyone I've hadn't yet met. We've even sent silly pics to each other. THAT'S how comfortable I am with him. He told me recently he "wasn't ready". He's worth being patient for, and I told him I wanted him and for him to let me know when he's ready but that I was going to see someone else. I can't sit and wait for anyone. What if he's never ready? My heart gets broken so easily. I get my hopes up and get close to someone and then poof, they're gone. I've had this happen too many times.

Oh, and Allen came back into the picture. He texted me a Happy Valentines' day and we've been chatting. He's soooo perfect in every way except he won't go down on me! So I lost interest. But he's patient and maybe I'll tell him sometime that he needs to work on that and that I'll help him. For now, I'm putting him off saying our schedules just aren't working out to get together.

Another new hottie and I have been writing, and he's the spitting image of F, but with tattoos and piercings!!!!! YAY!!!!!! We've been hot and heavy just for a couple days, and as it stands right now, I'm driving to see him Wednesday. He lives an hour away. DAMN!!!!! But where there's a will, there's a way!!! We'll see. I'm used to these guys being all talk. That's what most of them are. When they find out I'm real and really want to get together with them they disappear. I hope this doesn't happen with this guy....I'll call him Mr. S for now.

Feast or famine. It's feasting time right now--- I've got 5 guys writing me and a girl...she's the most persistent of them all and I'm like, back-pedaling cuz I'm not sure that's what I want to pursue.  Since K's not interested I am hoping Mr. S is just what I'm looking for. I need someone to fall for so I can forget F. I've driven by his fire station on my way to work so many times and haven't seen his car even once. All I can do is hope he will think of me and miss me too and text me. I have to move on.

Have a great week you sexy MF's!!!!

Rough month

SO much has been going on I haven't had a chance to get y'all caught up. I guess I'll get the bad stuff out of the way.....my beloved mother passed away two weeks ago. I jumped on the very first plane out because my brother called me and said she'd slipped into a coma and for me to get there ASAP. I spent 4 days with her and my family at her bedside and she passed away a few hours after we went home for the evening (doctors had said she could go at any minute or it could be weeks). We did a lot of sobbing and talking while I was there and now I'm pretty much in zombie-mode, just keeping busy so I don't fall apart. I will write about her when I am ready. For now, I just want to keep busy.

And part of keeping busy is keeping the hot boys coming. Or should I say "cumming"??? LOL

You have to excuse me; what I've been through these last few weeks have made me  cynical, angry, and more hedonistic than ever. Life is short. I know where we are all headed. I am planning on having as much fun as possible and denying pleasure doesn't make sense to me.

My hubby and I decided to get an OkCupid account, and what fun we are having! We are both logged in on our phones, so anytime someone writes we both get notifications. The profile pic is just me but it's a couples' profile so everyone knows we are together. I have gotten some amazing guys writing me, and i've exchanged phone numbers with a couple. One is 21 with a kid (he's amazing, I really like talking to him) and another is 20 and quite a hottie too. I've been trying to make dates with them and it's so funny how intimidated these young guys are. My hubby just wants to shake them and say, "She's REAL! And she's really nice! Stop worrying!!"

Oh, and btw in case you're wondering, "Jay" has gone AWOL. What an ass. We Skyped when I got back from my trip and he was all gaga over me as usual, but when it comes time to actually get together, he stops texting. I'm SO done with him. I last sent him a sexy pic of me over the weekend and he didn't ever respond. FUCK HIM. And for the record, FUCK MICKEY TOO. We texted while I was in California and my BFF and I went out and I got drunk two days after my mom passed away. I guess I said too much to Mickey and he freaked out. I haven't heard from him since.

What did I say to him you might be wondering? Well, he baited me. He said, "Why are you still so into me when we hardly ever see each other." I should've just said, 'Cuz you're fucking hot" but NOOOOOO the Grey Goose Citron answered, "Cuz you're into me too. You always come back to me. Two years I don't hear from you. Your GF breaks up with you and you run back to me. You always run back to me." And that made him run away from me. I had to laugh. Whatever. I don't really care. He's changed; he's started working out big time and I actually don't like the way he looks anymore! LOL He went from skinny hot rocker boy with all the tats and piercings to big bodybuilder guy. He looks too much like my son now. Ew. Combine that with his arrogance and I'm really not attracted to him anymore. It's just the connection we USED to have. I thought for a long time he really loved me, just didn't know how to express it, but now the way he's been talking lately I feel like WTF why do YOU bother texting ME?? I don't have the energy to give a shit about Jay or Mickey anymore. I really don't. 

There's nothing like losing your mom to feel that bitch-slap up the side of the head that some people just aren't worth your time.

If either of these two new hotties pan out, I'll give them names and keep you updated. For now, we are just flirting like crazy and it is fun, but I get tired of all the of it and then it doesn't lead anywhere. I"m not getting any cuter or younger and I'm annoyed that guys who say they want hot sex with a willing girl really don't want hot sex with a willing girl. I don't know what they want! But I'm real and I'm here and I don't play games. I think guys just don't know how to handle me. They're so used to bitches and drama queens. It's pathetic. 

OH, and yeah, trying to get a girl to join us too to keep hubby happy. How do I feel about it? No different than I ever did, but trying to get over it. I'm numb now and don't really feel much of anything right now, my heart is broken over losing my mom. Sex is just pleasure of the flesh. If someone wants my heart they are going to have to work pretty fucking hard to get it, but it's turned to ice for now.  Oh, and Allen has been a sweetheart through all of this, texting me every few days, asking me how I'm doing. Mickey?? The only thing is said was, "Noooooo! I'm so sorry!" when I told him about my mom, and then the conversation I mentioned earlier. I'm planning on a little fun with my Allen. And did I forget to mention he's looking better than ever??? MMMM sent me new selfies. Yum yum yum. Did I tell you he's a dead ringer for actor Charlie Hunnam from "Sons of Anarchy"? Yes he is! I even sent him pics of the guy to him and he was like, "damn it's like looking in a mirror!!" So you can see why I'm hooked on him!

I'll keep you posted. Have a good week and happy hump day everyone!