Hot Asian Stripper Boy

I was scrolling through my "matches" on OKCupid last Wednesday and saw THE hottest Asian guy I'd ever seen. YES ASIAN. I am a white girl who has never really been attracted to Asian guys before, but this guy's pic rocked my world. It was his shirtless pic that got to me; he had an awesome chest tattoo and he was super sexy. Twenty-one years old. I wrote him simply, "hi sexy" and he wrote right back! It didn't take long for us to click and arrange to meet. I met him the very next night at a bar; he waited for me in his car so we could "walk in together" (how cute was that??!) and we were all over each other. He had amazing eye contact, which I totally crave. We sat side-by-side at the bar and he had his chair turned towards me, his hand on the inside of my thigh, just drinking me up with his eyes every time he looked at me, a big smile on his face. I was smitten. We got along great, we were instantly attracted to each other and kept kissing. I noticed these women on the opposite side of the bar kept staring at us. I'm sure they were thinking, "what an odd couple" and "get a fucking room" LOL

After one drink we were done and couldn't wait to get out of there, although I had no plans for anything else to happen. I was trying something new; have an actual date first and see if he was still interested a week later. We walked hand in hand to my car, and we both got in and immediately started kissing furiously as if we were the last two people on earth and just found each other. He took off his shirt and had his fingers up my dress, moved my panties out of the way and his fingers found their way inside my vagina. He alternated between fucking me with them and rubbing my clit, and I was so turned on I was on the brink of climax. I saw his sexy torso and the top of his boxers, which always turns me on so much, and dipped my hand down into his pants and found his rock-hard cock. I stroked it and he fingered me and we kissed like hungry wolves. I was panting I wanted him so bad. The eye contact in between his kisses was incredible. 

We were ready for the next step, but it wasn't going to happen that night. We stopped and looked longingly at each other, and broke apart and took deep breaths together. We both said how badly we wanted each other. He put his shirt back on and we kissed some more, no groping this time, and we made promises to get together ASAP and finish what we started. We said our goodbyes, and he left. It was wonderful!!!! I felt like I was in heaven. I couldn't believe I was so into him.

And the next morning he wrote me, "good morning beautiful". !!!!!!! I was so excited!!! He WAS into me!!

He came over today......and I thought it was raw and animalistic.....but he didn't cum, AND he left early. I couldn't stand it any longer and texted him almost 2 hours ago, "hey just wanted to let you know I had a GREAT time with you today." No response so far.

Oh well. I had fun. And maybe I'll hear from him and maybe I won't. But I'll write about our afternoon romp next chance I get. 

Oh, and did I forget to tell you he was a male stripper in Vegas recently???

Tee hee I will call him "HASB" for "Hot Asian Stripper Boy".

Yum. He was delicioso.

I am still hungry.

A Cautionary Tale

I get asked occasionally by some of my lovely followers if they could be one of my boytoys? It's flattering to read such comments. You all know I am not new to dating websites. I'm sure I could write a book on them. I am fortunate that I receive many, many messages daily and in my pursuit of new men to play with, a girl has to become savvy at this game. 

There's so much I can tell just from a guys profile pic including their username, their bio, and the first message they send me. I will not ever understand why a guy would call himself something creepy like, "HardAllNight" (not a real name as far as I know; I made it up to make a point...if it's you PLEASE change it right now!!!) send a pic of their dick and message like, "Hey babe I can make you squirt all night". I mean, REALLY??? ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS??? DO YOU HONESTLY THINK A WOMAN, ANY WOMAN WOULD RESPOND TO THAT????

So of course those get deleted immediately. I throw up a little every time. 

Choosing who to respond to is more than looks, but yes, I'm just like you, I have my "type" and I will always respond to someone who is that. So, without further ado, let me tell you what happened to me last night. It is one for the record books. I couldn't wait to sit down and tell you about it!!!

I got a message from "gangbangboyz"  last night, and yeah, red flag number 1. Creepy name. But his profile pic was smokin' hot, honestly?? He was the hottest guy I think I've ever seen in my entire life. (This should've been red flag number 2 but hey, he fit my "type" so I was interested). His first message should've been red flag number 3 but I was feeling a little turned on by his picture. Without punctuation (one of my BIGGEST pet peeves!) he wrote, "up for a gangbang". Not even a question mark!!! SERIOUSLY??? LOL

Now, I am a kinky sort of girl, and I have fantasies of doing the entire band Avenged Sevenfold all at the same time, so the fact that he suggested a gangbang didn't offend me. I just answered, "not really, but I'd really like to fuck YOU! YOU'RE THE HOTTEST GUY I'VE EVER SEEN ON HERE!!!!" He acted all sweet and innocent, complimentary and nice. My favorite type of guy. Self-deprecating. So it wasn't long till I gave him my phone number and he texted me right away. He began telling me how he was a professional gambler and brought home $9000 a month. At this point, this was Red Flag #1. His age was 25. I was turned off big time by this information. I imagined him sitting at blackjack tables (that was his game he said) with dark sunglasses on, cheating house after house. I said, "I can't believe you haven't gotten thrown out." It wasn't a compliment.

He said his name was Jordan, and that he travels all over the world to casino. He mentioned my home town and it was obvious he did travel. I was starting to get a little intrigued now. I kept glancing at his profile pic and imagining him as he was texting me. So it got to the point where I wanted to meet him. He said, "tonight?" and I answered, "you don't get a date with me THAT easy! I need to see some pics of you. Snapchat?" and he didn't say yes or no. Then he said, "I'm getting a new phone tomorrow, I'll send you some then." RED FLAG #2. I thought, "this guy is playing me." I was starting to get pissed off.

Baiting him now, I said, "Do you have Facebook?" and again, he changed the subject and didn't answer. I looked at his profile again, and that's when it hit me he had only the one profile pic on it. Just a gorgeous, gorgeous face pic of a young guy probably no more than 25 like it said. I clicked on "Details" and there weren't any except that he was straight. It was at that moment I also realized there was absolutely NO bio on him at all. Not even something trite and simple like, "Cats are my life" or "Engineer by day and master chef in my kitchen by night." NOTHING. NADA. ZIP.

I added the red flags up and the evidence was overwhelming.

So I texted him, "I have to be honest with you...my gut is telling me you're catfishing me. You have only one pic on your profile (red flag #1) and no info about you at all (red flag #2). You have no pics of yourself on your phone. (red flag #3). Who doesn't have pictures of themselves on their phone, even if they're getting a new one the next day? And I asked you if you have Facebook and Snapchat and you didn't answer (red flags #4 and 5).

He responded, "Ok gorgeous good night."

I was so pissed.

I wrote, "??? Prove me wrong!!" 

He then sent me a pic of his dick. I threw up a little again. 

I went to his profile page and clicked on "option", and reported him to OkCupid. They said they'd respond with "quick retribution" and that they would block him from being able to see my profile and contact me. I breathed a sigh of relief.

I WENT A STEP FURTHER. YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS NEXT PART.

Having watched many episodes of, "Catfish", I knew how to do an image search. I copied the profile pic of the hot guy and the EXACT pic came up immediately!! It came up in the first 10 or so choices!!!!! I gasped. 

THE PIC WAS OF A MALE MODEL, ACTUAL AGE WAS 20. AND HIS NAME WAS NOT JORDAN IT WAS JOSHUA ANTHONY BRAND AND HE LIVES IN THE UK.

You can look him up. He is fucking beautiful.

I wrote him a private message to his Facebook telling him about this creep who was using his picture to lure women. He hasn't read it yet, but I hope he does. I'm sure his lawyer will have a field day with the information.

I'm sure that creep will never be found, but ladies, we know these assholes exist and we have to protect ourselves. I feel once again like I dodged a bullet. He could've raped me, Rufie'd me, or killed me. 

ALWAYS, ALWAYS LISTEN TO YOUR GUT. IT WILL NEVER LIE TO YOU.

Frightening to think who would've actually shown up.

Awesome comment accidentally deleted.....and other stuff

I am a lamer and accidentally deleted a great comment by one of you amazing readers and hope you see this and don't mind writing it again for us. So from now on I'm changing the settings on this blog to let comments just publish themselves rather than going through me. I'm clearly technologically challenged. My sincerest apologies to the author.

Aside from my lameness.....

I love how some men can't stay away for long.....Jake---who did what immature Mickey could not do and that's let me know when he began dating someone seriously--decided last night to follow one of my Twitter accounts. My "safe" one! So that's fun. He looks amazing. In a suit. So I had to private message him how hot he looked. That was a fun surprise I woke up to this morning! And last night, I opened my iPad to read my book at bedtime and there was a message from guess who--Mister Ghost Alcoholic Jay who was on his Skype two hours earlier: "hey baby are you there?" What an ass. I ignored it. He's gonna have to try harder than "hey baby" three weeks after he ignored our evening plans and never responded. Fuck him.

I'm texting two other hotties right now that I "met" on OK Cupid; one's 19 and lives in New Jersey but his father lives nearby and he's planning a visit this summer so we will see if he lasts that long hahahahha. The other lives a lot closer and REALLY wants to meet me. I'm not sure if I'm as crazy about him as he is about me so I'm hesitant. BUT he passed a huge test by being only one of two guys who wished me a happy mother's day. He and Allen. He doesn't know it but that was huge. In the 10 years I've been involved with Mickey, he stopped wishing me happy birthdays and mother's day and most holidays years ago, except for Christmas and New Year's.

I have not heard from Mickey and have absolutely no desire to text or contact him at all. Even in my drunken moments!! LOL He and Jay were #1 and now they are last place. That's what I love about OK Cupid....the cute guys are out there and just waiting to meet someone like me who will show up and have a good time with them!

I'm getting a little bit of my swag back....the weather's been erratic but I've been running and hitting the gym much harder AND eating much healthier. I haven't lost but a pound but knowing I'm taking better care of myself I feel sexier and happier already.  I'm on this super-clean diet and I feel so much more energy already. Yay!!!

BUT......

I still haven't found a woman to play with for my hubby.  I have been trying. I am learning that flakiness is not specific to the male gender. Women play games with me just as much. So frustrating.

Have a good weekend everyone! Stay honest and use those condoms!!!!!

Douche bag alert

So we're trying out this "OK Cupid" dating website, and I'm not some doe-eyed newbie. I've done the "cougarlife.com" and "Adult Friend Finder" dating websites, so I know how these things work. And I always say, hey, I'm easy, but I'm not THAT easy. 

So I met this guy on OKCupid, he's 24, lives near me and a complete hottie. We have been texting back and forth and agreed to meet this week. Last we spoke it was we would be checking our schedules and setting up a day and time to meet. So, this is where I sit back and see how interested the guy really is. If I have to be the first to text and convince him to meet me, it's not good. I wait for the text and then proceed. This is where it always stops. I swear I don't know what the fuck is wrong with these guys! Why the fuck are they even on these dating websites if they don't want to get laid??? What more does a girl have to do???

Case in point--this guy I'm talking about we'll call Mitch. So, a few days go by, and I'm waiting to see if he's going to make the first move to meet me. Two days ago I get this: "Yo". 

Yes, "Yo".

I did what any self-respecting girl would do. Ignore it.

A day later (yesterday) I was thinking about him, how hot he is and that I'd still like to get it on with him, and thought, "hmmm, he needs a little guidance here. I'll give it to him" and I wrote, "I really like you but I don't do "YO" lol" then a second text, "I'll give you another chance" with a kiss emoticon. You won't believe what he wrote back! "Pfff"
He's toast. I'm done. What an asshole.

I double-checked my reaction with my BFF and she reassured me what he did was disrespectful and at the very least crass. I told her, "I'm easy but shit if I allow "YO" and I haven't even met the guy????" She concurred. I said, "I'm not one of his "homies". I'm a lady. Just because I'm easy doesn't mean you can disrespect me. If I allow THIS, it will let him know I have absolutely no self-respect whatsoever." She agreed.

I laid in bed thinking about it all and imagined a conversation between him and a buddy about it.

Mitch: "Dude this hot girl totally blew me off. I'm so bummed. She was gonna meet me this week and fuck me."

Buddy: "Dude what happened?"

Mitch: "I have no idea."

Buddy: "Whadday mean you have no idea? What'd she say?"

Mitch: "Dude we were supposed to meet this week. I hadn't heard from her so I just texted her and next thing I know she's totally pissed off!"

Buddy: "Why would she be pissed off? Dude what did you say?"

Mitch: "I just wrote "yo" and she got totally pissed off"

Buddy: "You wrote "Yo"?? WTF? Seriously dude? OMG"

Mitch: "What's the problem? I write "Yo" all the time"

Buddy: "To ME you douche bag! You don't write a hot girl "Yo"!! What the fuck is wrong with you??"

Mitch: "Shit."

Buddy: "What did she say?"

Mitch: " She said, 'I really like you but I don't do "yo". I'll give you another chance" and she wrote this little kiss emoticon."

Buddy: "Shit you're one lucky sonofabitch. What did you write back? When are you meeting her??"

Mitch: "Meeting her? Fuck no! I wrote, "pfff" fuck her!"

Buddy: "You're an asshole and a douche bag. Do you know that?"

Mitch: "Fuck you too."

This is what I imagine happened. Makes me feel better anyway. Because regardless of his youth, his inexperience, I've been involved with guys younger than him that know how to treat a lady. And yeah, maybe I over-reacted, but I don't think so. 

Readers? What do you think?