A Cautionary Tale

I get asked occasionally by some of my lovely followers if they could be one of my boytoys? It's flattering to read such comments. You all know I am not new to dating websites. I'm sure I could write a book on them. I am fortunate that I receive many, many messages daily and in my pursuit of new men to play with, a girl has to become savvy at this game. 

There's so much I can tell just from a guys profile pic including their username, their bio, and the first message they send me. I will not ever understand why a guy would call himself something creepy like, "HardAllNight" (not a real name as far as I know; I made it up to make a point...if it's you PLEASE change it right now!!!) send a pic of their dick and message like, "Hey babe I can make you squirt all night". I mean, REALLY??? ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS??? DO YOU HONESTLY THINK A WOMAN, ANY WOMAN WOULD RESPOND TO THAT????

So of course those get deleted immediately. I throw up a little every time. 

Choosing who to respond to is more than looks, but yes, I'm just like you, I have my "type" and I will always respond to someone who is that. So, without further ado, let me tell you what happened to me last night. It is one for the record books. I couldn't wait to sit down and tell you about it!!!

I got a message from "gangbangboyz"  last night, and yeah, red flag number 1. Creepy name. But his profile pic was smokin' hot, honestly?? He was the hottest guy I think I've ever seen in my entire life. (This should've been red flag number 2 but hey, he fit my "type" so I was interested). His first message should've been red flag number 3 but I was feeling a little turned on by his picture. Without punctuation (one of my BIGGEST pet peeves!) he wrote, "up for a gangbang". Not even a question mark!!! SERIOUSLY??? LOL

Now, I am a kinky sort of girl, and I have fantasies of doing the entire band Avenged Sevenfold all at the same time, so the fact that he suggested a gangbang didn't offend me. I just answered, "not really, but I'd really like to fuck YOU! YOU'RE THE HOTTEST GUY I'VE EVER SEEN ON HERE!!!!" He acted all sweet and innocent, complimentary and nice. My favorite type of guy. Self-deprecating. So it wasn't long till I gave him my phone number and he texted me right away. He began telling me how he was a professional gambler and brought home $9000 a month. At this point, this was Red Flag #1. His age was 25. I was turned off big time by this information. I imagined him sitting at blackjack tables (that was his game he said) with dark sunglasses on, cheating house after house. I said, "I can't believe you haven't gotten thrown out." It wasn't a compliment.

He said his name was Jordan, and that he travels all over the world to casino. He mentioned my home town and it was obvious he did travel. I was starting to get a little intrigued now. I kept glancing at his profile pic and imagining him as he was texting me. So it got to the point where I wanted to meet him. He said, "tonight?" and I answered, "you don't get a date with me THAT easy! I need to see some pics of you. Snapchat?" and he didn't say yes or no. Then he said, "I'm getting a new phone tomorrow, I'll send you some then." RED FLAG #2. I thought, "this guy is playing me." I was starting to get pissed off.

Baiting him now, I said, "Do you have Facebook?" and again, he changed the subject and didn't answer. I looked at his profile again, and that's when it hit me he had only the one profile pic on it. Just a gorgeous, gorgeous face pic of a young guy probably no more than 25 like it said. I clicked on "Details" and there weren't any except that he was straight. It was at that moment I also realized there was absolutely NO bio on him at all. Not even something trite and simple like, "Cats are my life" or "Engineer by day and master chef in my kitchen by night." NOTHING. NADA. ZIP.

I added the red flags up and the evidence was overwhelming.

So I texted him, "I have to be honest with you...my gut is telling me you're catfishing me. You have only one pic on your profile (red flag #1) and no info about you at all (red flag #2). You have no pics of yourself on your phone. (red flag #3). Who doesn't have pictures of themselves on their phone, even if they're getting a new one the next day? And I asked you if you have Facebook and Snapchat and you didn't answer (red flags #4 and 5).

He responded, "Ok gorgeous good night."

I was so pissed.

I wrote, "??? Prove me wrong!!" 

He then sent me a pic of his dick. I threw up a little again. 

I went to his profile page and clicked on "option", and reported him to OkCupid. They said they'd respond with "quick retribution" and that they would block him from being able to see my profile and contact me. I breathed a sigh of relief.

I WENT A STEP FURTHER. YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS NEXT PART.

Having watched many episodes of, "Catfish", I knew how to do an image search. I copied the profile pic of the hot guy and the EXACT pic came up immediately!! It came up in the first 10 or so choices!!!!! I gasped. 

THE PIC WAS OF A MALE MODEL, ACTUAL AGE WAS 20. AND HIS NAME WAS NOT JORDAN IT WAS JOSHUA ANTHONY BRAND AND HE LIVES IN THE UK.

You can look him up. He is fucking beautiful.

I wrote him a private message to his Facebook telling him about this creep who was using his picture to lure women. He hasn't read it yet, but I hope he does. I'm sure his lawyer will have a field day with the information.

I'm sure that creep will never be found, but ladies, we know these assholes exist and we have to protect ourselves. I feel once again like I dodged a bullet. He could've raped me, Rufie'd me, or killed me. 

ALWAYS, ALWAYS LISTEN TO YOUR GUT. IT WILL NEVER LIE TO YOU.

Frightening to think who would've actually shown up.