Mr. Passive earns a new nickname on our 2nd date!

I was getting so turned on waiting for Mr. Passive to come to my house and fuck me, I decided to play a little dress-up and take some pics of myself to send to him. I put on white stockings, a blue and white polka-dotted garter, matching bra and stilettos. Makeup and hair turned out sexy, I felt sexy, and started snapping away. (I will post a couple of these for you as soon as I can). A sexy pic of my stockinged legs. Sent to him in a text. 'I'm ready for you", I wrote. "Hot babe!" he answered, then, "I'm 10 minutes away." I sent him two more, just to tease him. He loved them. "Shit babe I'm trying to drive!" he LOL'd me. "I"m going to crash!" haha good. Just the effect I wanted.

I told him to park where he did last time--a spot just outside the first garage door of my house. In complete view of my nosy neighbor unfortunately, since there's really no other spot other than the cul de sac which is covered in snow at the moment. Fortunately, he always shows up in a nice suit, so if she ever got nosy, I'd just tell her the "truth"--he's our financial planner! (he IS one, just not ours....not yet anyway!)

I saw him drive up in his pretty blue Mercedes and my heart started pounding in my chest. I was glad we'd already gone through the whole meeting-in-public thing last time and brought him back here. He was familiar now, and I knew he was gentle and sweet, and very good in bed. I was practically panting when he came to the door, and as soon as we said our "hi's" and my dog checked him out and gave his approval, he just held me and kissed me. It wasn't a perfunctory "hello kiss", no, this was a very long, very sexy juicy kiss.  I was almost uncomfortable; I was used to guys who were more like "wham, bam thank you ma'am" than someone so tender. I kissed him passed the discomfort and realized how much I was enjoying kissing him. I couldn't help myself and grabbed him by his hips and pulled him as close to me as possible, feeling his growing erection on my groin.  I can't remember the last time anyone ever kissed me like that! Thinking about it later it reminded me of the first time a boy french kissed me at age 16 at a party; it seemed to go on forever but was so enjoyable I knew I never wanted to stop.

I'm sure I was the one who finally stopped the kiss--I wanted to get him upstairs and naked! I had put on a dress and blouse over my matching bra and garter set and wanted to strip for him. He knew what was on underneath because of the pics I'd sent and commented that he loved my strappy heels. He's short--probably 5'9"--but I'm tiny and only about 5'6"with heels so the kissing put our bodies in the perfect alignment.  I was ready for him and couldn''t wait another second.

We broke apart and giggled like teenagers, shy and embarrassed. Holding hands, I led him upstairs to the bedroom I share with my husband. He and I've been in this bed before, and I couldn't wait to have him again.

He took off his suit jacket and started loosening his tie. I love this part. The anticipation. I love undressing each other and stripping down. I helped him, and when he had his dress shirt and tie off, shoes and socks off, he coyly looked at me and said, "do the pants come off too?" I smiled and bit my lip and said, "oh yes!" and proceeded to unbuckle his belt, unzip his pants--my VERY favorite thing in the world to do--and slip his pants off. He had on a hilarious (to me) pair of undies--tighty camouflage ones and I cracked up. "Very cute!" I told him. He laughed too. He took off my blouse for me and I pulled my skirt off and revealed the sexy bra and garter belt for him. He put his hands on my hips and pulled me close to him and as he started to kiss me again, moaned, "very hot, girl!"

I loved kissing him, and I loved how he wasn't the grabby, "get to the action" kind of guy. He was sweet, and slow, and that's why I named him Mr. Passive. It's probably not a very good name anymore; I think I may call him Mr. Passionate instead. Because he is SO passionate. He seems to have sex more like making love than raw sex. It's soooo nice. I feel comfortable and safe with him, and always want more. And the best thing about kissing is it turns me on, like a light switch and I'm ready to go.

He laid on his back on my bed, stretched out and held out his arms like he owned the fucking thing. Did he even think about the fact that he was in another man's bed? With another man's wife? It sure didn't seem like he gave a fuck. And why should he? I was here. I had my husband's permission to have him here, in OUR bed. He was laid out like a fabulous piece of filet mignon at the butcher's--and I was buying the whole fucking cow. I was salivating at the sight of his small but hard muscular physique and those sparkling blue eyes staring at me. 

With garter belt and heels still on, I straddled him and grinded my vagina on his hard cock as I kissed him. He allowed me to do whatever I wanted, and goodnaturedly just laid there and let me take charge. I was so hungry I didn't know where to begin! I loved the way he watched everything I did; I took my mouth off his lips and nibbled his neck, which he seemed to really respond to. His hips started rocking under me and I was so wet already I could've just pulled off those silly undies of his and stuck his dick in me, but I didn't. I was enjoying the build-up.

I sucked and nibbled and licked his neck, and with my tongue, slowly licked him down his chest and teased his tummy. I love a man's tummy. It's soooo sexy, and I hadn't realized it before but he's got 6-pack abs. I love how right under a man's tummy is that beautiful little pleasure trail that leads to the treasure! Mmmmm yummy. I could only barely smell his cologne and as I mouthed his tummy, I breathed in his manly smells. I was so hungry for him. 

I used my mouth to tease his cock through his silly undies. I love seeing a hard cock through undies. It's so sexy. I love to tease myself and delay seeing a man's cock by playing with it through our clothes. I think total nakedness isn't as sexy as leaving on just a little bit of clothing--like you're just too horny to bother taking all your clothes off! But Mr. Passionate (his new name, remember) leaned over and took my bra off and started to play with my breasts as I sucked his cock through his underwear. I smiled at him, and put my breasts in his face to suck on and I once again straddled him and grinded his cock with my crotch. I could feel my pussy dripping I was so turned on. I couldn't wait to have him inside me.

I gently pulled his undies off and finally let his big hard cock out. I playfully teased it by letting my long, soft hair swish over it. I love doing that! His cock twitched in approval and I finally took it in my mouth and gave him the blowjob he was hungry for. I love giving oral sex on a guy so I stay down there a long time; not like so many girls who just do a perfunctory few licks. I licked and sucked him till he nearly came, then I pulled my mouth off. He gave me a big smile and grabbed me by my hips and pulled me onto him again for some more deep-mouthed kissing. Mmmm yummy. I pulled myself apart, sat up, and reached for a condom. It was time. 

Putting a condom on is so fucking sexy. I love the whole part of it---holding the package in my hand, tearing it open, and especially putting it on. Even buying them is fucking sexy. You and the clerk just know what you're going to do with them and I find that a huge turn-on. So I slowly tore it open, took the pale, limp condom out, and loving put it on the tip of his cock and together he and I smoothed it over his hard dick. Mmmmm so fucking sexy! More than not using a condom, it says blatantly, "fuck me now!" So that's what I did. 

I put that condom-covered hard cock of his inside me and being on top, my other favorite, fucked him hard while he just relaxed and enjoyed the ride. I wanted to show him I am no slouch. I'm not one of those girls that just lays there; oh no, I enjoy taking charge. I was his cowgirl and he was my pony and I loved riding him. Mmmm. It was the dead of winter outside but I got so sweaty fucking him I stopped to open a small side window and let in some fresh, cool winter air. It felt so good.

He was clearly enjoying watching me on top of him and letting me do the work. I was getting tired and he sensed it; he gently flipped me on my side and then onto my back. I couldn't believe how long this guy could fuck me without coming. I love love love fucking these young guys; they don't get tired easily and neither do I. He just fucked me and fucked me, and it felt amazing. He sometimes held me close and other times he'd kind of sit up. We were getting so sweaty, which I absolutely love. Hot and passionate and sweaty. We then laid side by side; I dripped lube on his throbbing cock and rubbed it and he fingered my clit till I came. I remembered how I couldn't ever cum with any guy other than my hubby; now my goal was to cum with every guy or girl I sleep with. I came so fast; i hoped he knew how turned on I was.

I wasn't in a hurry like last time--I didn't have to go to work but I did have to pick up one of my kids from school, so when I got an opportune moment, I reached over and checked my phone for the time. I couldn't believe we'd been fucking for more than an hour! We both said we were doing fine on time. It was time to change position again. He was going for the cum shot--we had texted about it and I told him to "surprise me." I love watching a man cum, he didn't always have to cum inside me, so I was really excited what he was going to choose.

He flipped me over, gently again, and wanted me doggy style. I like this position but it's not my favorite cuz for some reason, if it goes on too long, it makes me feel like I have to pee so it's kind of uncomfortable, especially if the guy is big, but I know guys just love fucking a girl from behind. I do like the way it hits my G-spot and it's pleasurable at the same time. As he's fucking me, just nonstop like a 24 year old would fuck, I'm grabbing the down comforter and screaming into it with every thrust.  After what seemed like an eternity--damn this guy could fuck and fuck forever--I had such a mix of pain and pleasure and I didn't know how much longer I could stand it--I felt him flick the condom off and cum all over my ass. My body collapsed down on the comforter and I released my grip on it. It was very erotic and I was exhausted and still turned on.

He was on his knees and holding the used condom; I sat up and took it from him and put it in the toilet (can't have kids finding it in trash!!!). I didn't flush it tho; I went back to him and we laid together, panting and sweaty. It was a beautiful sexy moment. We laid there, and he chatted, he was so awesome! I felt like we were really getting close. He was clearly comfortable with me. He didn't need to jump up and run out the door (like Mickey??? Hello??). He put his arm around me and I laid my head on his shoulder as he (mostly) talked about his job. He was confiding in me and I felt happy. I felt like I was getting what I always wanted from Mickey--not just a sex partner but a lover. Mickey never let me get close to him; eight years off and on together and he's still just a stranger. 

After at least 15-20 minutes, we both agreed it was time to go. We got dressed together--I had to go find something else to wear to pick up my kid--and he chatted the whole time. He is so comfortable in his skin and around me, and I feel the same way. I asked him if he wanted to shower before his next client, and he said no, just splashed some water on his face and ran his fingers through his short brown hair. I watched him, his blue eyes just gleaming in the mirror, and I noticed for the first time he had a small cleft in his chin. I felt warm all over just watching him.  I gave him a fluffy hand towel to dry his face and hands on. He said "thanks" sweetly and it felt good to be there with him, in the bathroom I share with my husband. Another man at HIS sink, using HIS faucet and soap. It was so sexy and naughty.

We walked downstairs together, and kissed at the door. It was a short kiss, but he said, "let me know when you're available...let's get together again soon!" I said I would, I definitely would. And with that, he walked away to his car, and I shut the front door, and giggled.

I texted my hubby--"He just left--are you on your way yet?" and he texted back, "around the corner baby!" I was already so sore from Mr. Passionate, but I knew my afternoon of sex wasn't over yet. My hubby was turned on from my slutty escapade and we still had an hour before my kid's school was out. I went back upstairs and put the bra and garter back on for my hubby, spritzed on some perfume, and heard the door open and close. I smiled thinking about the last two hours spent with another man, and how I was still turned on and couldn't wait to fuck my hubby. What a lucky woman I am!

I was watching TV in the kitchen while I was cooking dinner last night and saw "B" in a commercial! I screamed to my hubby, "THAT'S B! LOOK!! and sure enough, there he was! What a hottie! I can't tell you anymore about it cuz certainly you'd know him....I texted him immediately to tell him I saw him, and of course, since he's got the biggest ego of anyone alive he responded right away. He was pleased as punch. I congratulated him and said I wanted to youtube it so I could see it over and over. He laughed. 


I bought my plane ticket to go see him yesterday! Or--should I say, my hubby did. I will be there in 2 weeks. I can't wait to fuck him! MMMMM "B" is delicious. 


I lied to Mickey and told him I bought a plane ticket to see him. I texted him, "hey, flights are so cheap so I bought a ticket. I'll be there on Nov. 13th. Let's just have dinner. I want to gaze into those amazing blue eyes." That was yesterday--haven't heard back yet. I'm sure he's processing it--he wants to see me, he wants more than dinner--but he's living with his GF. BUT-----and this is a big BUT---he has never admitted to having a girlfriend. He doesn't know I stalk him LOL yes I read his facebook and his GF's twitter--hey, if I didn't, I wouldn't know what the fuck is going on with him! it's a way to protect myself. Yes, and torture myself, that's true.  He told me a couple weeks ago basically not to come, that seeing me sexually "isn't healthy for me right now, I'm trying to do too much", whatever the fuck that means. He talks so cryptically. Why won't he just admit he's got a GF and they're getting serious? Because he doesn't want to hurt me? Please. Yeah right. It's because he doesn't want me to go away. He wants to know that I'll always be here for him when he wants me. It's like in Toy Story, I don't know which one, I think the first, where Woody says, "It's not how much we're played with; it's that we're here when Andy needs us." That's me for Mickey. It's not how much he plays with me, it's that I'm here when he wants me. Don't tell me I'm pathetic. I already know I am. 


I had a conversation with a girlfriend of mine about Mickey, and it really sums up why I put up with him. We were talking about being "in love", and what does that really mean? Is it possessive? What if it's not reciprocated? And I told her, for me being "in love" is this: it's thinking about the other person 24/7. It means that no matter what you are doing, you are thinking about them. It is worrying about their well-being. It means that if they were in trouble or sick you would answer the phone in the middle of the night and listen. It means you'd jump on a plane and be there for them at the drop of a hat. It means you'd give them money you don't have if they were struggling financially. Being "in love" to me means all these things. And no matter how much I'd like it to go away, it hasn't where Mickey is concerned. It's been almost 8 years we've known each other now, and the only way I'll ever truly get over him is probably when I die. I have 2 great loves in my life--him, and my hubby. 


                                      *******************


I'm sorry I haven't had time to tell you all about my hubby's girlfriends' visit. And I'm sorry to say I've run out of time right now. My life has been so hectic and insane, but I PROMISE to write this week. You deserve to hear it. It was a very trying week, good and bad, sexy and unsexy. You will enjoy it though.


Have a good day my beloved readers, and oh, yes, now you know what I look like. Let me know if that changes anything for you in how you perceived me. Did I lack credibility before by hiding my identity? It's scary for me but I thought it necessary. I hope you all approve. I did it for you.


Love,
Anna XO

My vibrator and I give Mickey a show he'll never forget

"You're soooooo pretty!!" Mickey cooed into the phone to me, gazing at me onscreen with somewhat sad puppy dog eyes. We were on yahoo messenger this morning, both on our webcams, and neither of us could stop smiling. It was so wonderful seeing his face again, after such a long time, and he clearly was happy to see mine as well.

The familiar chime on my iPhone woke me up about 3 minutes before my alarm was set to go off. "Hey", Mickey texted. We chatted off and on for about an hour while I got my kids off to school. Happily he said, "want to get on webcam?" and I decided right then and there that this offer was better than my plans to hit the gym, so I said, "Sure! Gimme 10 minutes. I want to look good for you." I turned on my curling iron and put on a little bit of makeup, found a sexy red lacy nightgown that showed off my breasts (Mickey's favorites) and I was online.

The minute I saw his face I started smiling. He was smiling too. It was wonderful. Like no time had passed. He looked as hot as ever, his long black hair all disheveled around his face, his lip ring dangling ever so teasingly, his full-sleeve tattoos so colorful and sexy. He was wearing a black T-shirt, and I was just salivating. Then he moved his laptop so I could see better--and he had his cock and balls peeking out from his underwear, these "tighty-whitey" undies in green and blue. I was shocked and laughed and wrote, "very hot!" He laughed and tucked them back in.

We wrote to each other as we gazed nervously at each other. I suggested Skype since on that webcam you can talk to each other. I told him I wanted to hear his voice. He couldn't remember his Skype name (yay, means he hasn't been using it with some other girl). I saw him pick up his phone, and I was tempted to write, 'who are you calling?" cuz that's really bad ettiquette--to be on webcam and call someone else. I was miffed instantly, until I heard his song, "Mickey" by Toni Basil start playing. He was calling ME!! haha (joke was on me!) I looked at my phone and sure enough, there was his face, the pic I'd chosen, and his name.

I answered in my best Lauren Bacall voice, a husky, "hey you", and he sounded just as sexy back. It was so wonderful, hearing his voice again. I told him so. He said all the right things again, just as always. After a few minutes he pulled out his cock again and started touching himself. He said, "show me those beautiful tits of yours", so I pulled down the red straps to my nightgown and gave him a little glimpse. Teasing him. He rubbed himself watching and yeah, I was getting very turned on! The whole time this was going on, he was talking to me, telling me how much he wanted me to come see him. He said, "I'm off work on Mondays and Tuesdays, and if you come then I'll get to spend the whole night with you." I smiled inside and out and said I'd see what I could do. Hubby travels a lot with work and the kids have school weekdays so not sure but I'd see what I could arrange. He told me, "Just give me a date." I said I'd let him know. I told him I hadn't bought a plane ticket yet so I'd check and see what I could do.

He also told me he was in trouble of being fired. That poor guy has issues, for sure, but he's always been a good worker. He's had this job like 6 years, so I asked him what's going on. He said, "they're douchebags!" and didn't want to talk about it. I let it go. He just wanted to focus on me.

He kept asking me, "when are you coming here?" lol then I broached the subject that was lingering in the air---what about his GIRLFRIEND?!?! He said, "let's not go there right now", so I laughed and said, "ok". I said, "I know you're not in love with her. You told me so." He said, "you're right, I'm not." I said, 'You're in love with me!" Now he has NEVER used the "L" word with me, and no, he didn't, but he did say, "yeah, that's it", so that made me happy! He said he wants to come visit me and plans to. He said, "I just might move in with you." I said, "really???" ecstatically and he said, "yeah, and it might be soon if they fire me." I said, "don't tease me!" which made him laugh. He was obviously in pain and in his own weird way was reaching out for sympathy, to be understood and heard. He knows I will give it to him.

He asked to see more of me, and I obliged. He was very complimentary and kept gently telling me what he wanted me to do, and what he wanted to do to me when I come to visit. He also asked where my hubby was several times, and that sometime he wanted to watch us both having sex. I told him, 'sure! that would be fun!" Since he has seen it in person I'm sure he'd like to watch us again. He said he wants to DP me with my hubby. I've never done that with anyone, not really crazy about the idea but said for him I'd try it. I trust them both to be gentle and to stop if I asked them to. So, WTF, I told him yeah, that would be ok. It was all fantasy right now anyway. Then he slipped off his undies and was just in his T-shirt. I said, 'Take off your T-shirt!" and he refused! I was like, WTF? Ok whatever! I said I want to see your chest. I love all your tats, I want to see them. He giggled and said, 'no, I've gained a few pounds", so I respected that. LOL Even though I couldn't see a trace of fat anywhere. He looked the same to me.

He asked if I had any toys. Yep of course I do! I told him, and went to get a vibrator. I grabbed the first one I found, and the batteries were dead LOL and we both laughed. I used it anyway, and he said he wanted to watch me come. And of course, since we were on the phone together, he heard all my heavy breathing and panting, and he stroked his cock harder and harder as I got more and more excited. Which I did for him, right there on camera. I've never done THAT before for anybody! It was so exciting. OMG I was splayed out on my bed, legs spread, back arched and stroking myself with a purple vibrator and watching him stroking his cock, watching me, holding the phone with his other hand, and that gaze in his eyes, very sexy. Since the batteries were dead I had to work that thing back and forth but it worked, I had a huge orgasm right there on camera for my Mickey. He loved it. I was a bit embarrassed afterward but he thanked me and kept telling me how much he loved it and couldn't wait to be with me.

After a few more minutes, he said he had to go. I said I did too, and I blew him a kiss onscreen for him and said goodbye. He was looking right at me and smiled, and gave me a "bye" in that sexy, breathy voice of his.  I don't know if the GF came in the room or what. After I clicked "off", I could still see him onscreen, and he kept stroking his cock for about a minute then turned off the camera. He didn't come, and that was disappointing, but oh well. It was still awesome.

I can't believe what that boy does to me. I'm old enough to be his mom, AND his girlfriend's mom. He's 27 and she's 20. But he doesn't see me that way. I'm a woman, a REAL woman, and he knows I'm crazy about him.

I think I'm going to be smiling a lot today.

time for a little contemplation...

Hello readers!!!  I welcome new readers and cherish my daily followers. I love to read your blogs as well and I always welcome your comments.

Since my hubby and I started this lifestyle, one of the things that's been the hardest is the secret factor. We have found we live in a sort of sexy bubble, and that very few people we've allowed inside. Friends we've told are usually in the lifestyle too, which is always a relief to be able to share this part of ourselves. We have told NO family, and honestly, with the exceptions of our lovers, only 5 people know. My two best GF's in the whole world and my hubby's best guy buddy he's known for over 20 years. And one other couple who we aren't intimate with (yet--wink wink). That's it. It's a very small circle.

Keeping this a secret can be challenging, especially with my cell phone. Even if it's on vibrate (ooohh) my kids have a knack for picking it up and saying, "mommy! Whos' Mickey?" and further, "who is 555-1212 and why do they keep calling you?" I have to be VERY careful.

Our worst fear, of course, isn't that the kids find out, it's that they suspect one of us is cheating on the other. We do agree that would be worse.

So--why don't we tell them??

We have been doing our research on that very subject. There is a great book we both just read tackling that subject--it's called "Love You Two" by Maria Pallotta-Chiarolli. It's a great work of fiction--the first of its kind actually, about a teenage daughter who stumbles across her mother's diary and finds out she has a male lover who is accepted by the father. It's a story of a teenage daughter's shock and hurt and confusion over this new information and how she deals with it. If affects her relationship with her mother of course. My biggest problem with the book is the father is rarely mentioned. He is just a silent, nodding-in-affirmation character with no voice. He never sits down and talks to her about his involvement or how it feels for him, and she doesn't really show any need to discuss it with him. All her emotion is directed at her mother. It is a good book in the way that I think her reactions are typical of what a teenager would do and feel.

We think our youngest would do fine. She's young enough, and she's actually said some interesting things to me from time to time that make me wonder if she somehow, on some level, already knows. For instance, we were at the beach a few weeks ago, and we were talking about her big brother (who's 16) and all the cute girls on the beach he'd like if he were with us. She said, "You should find a boyfriend Mommy!" I was like, "WTF??" So I said, "I'm married to your daddy sweetheart! I can't have a boyfriend too!" and she said, "Why not? You're hot and I see them stare at you!" OMG this came from my twelve-year-old!! I was perplexed. It would've been a perfect opportunity to tell her....only I was completely unprepared.

My Internet research has affirmed that the younger they find out, the easier it is for them to accept it. BUT--once they're in their teens, it really can be harmful and destructive. Emphasis on "can be"---all kids are different. It's something we think about all the time. In the meantime, we are just very careful.

When Mickey first came into our lives, our kids were very small. Our oldest was 8 and the youngest was 4. They went to bed at 10 and what we did after hours they didn't think to question. Weekend trips away? Yay! Fun with Grandma! It's so different now that they're older--they ask more questions--where did we go, who did we see? We have a great relationship with our kids--we are more open and honest with sex and we talk about everything--except our own sex lives.

Readers? I'm appealing to you. Those of you in the lifestyle with kids--how do you handle everything? Have you told your children, your parents, siblings, co-workers? Reactions? I'd really love to know.

Have a great day.
Love,
Anna XOXO

A new hottie for me!! yay!!!!

Ah, I love you my readers! Thank you for the prodding. I know I'm behind again--I had a house full of guests from out of state--NO unfortunately not the kind I was hoping for LOL but got my house back so now I have my privacy again. A lot has happened so I need to get this blog updated.

First of all, my plan to meet Jake was interesting! We had rented a houseboat the day of his concert, and we didn't get there till his band was playing like the last 5 minutes of their last song!! I was so bummed but glad I got to see him play a little. He's the drummer, and he was playing shirtless (--sigh--so yummy) and his band was actually pretty good. When the song ended, he tossed his drumsticks into the crowd, it was so rocker-esque I had to laugh.  Their were a few hundred people there, and a bunch of teen girls in the band's logo T-shirts, it was cute. They had groupies! I felt out of place, but I was determined to see him.

They were busy packing up, and I went around backstage to the exit door, hoping to catch him. It was blocked off. I couldn't get through. I realized I had to give up my fantasy of seeing him. He was there, I was there, it had been over a month, and I hadn't heard a peep out of him. My common sense knew I should just walk away and let it go. I looked good, I wanted him to see me, I wanted him to know I came to support him and his band, but it looked like it wasn't going to happen.  My hubby gave me a hug and said he was sorry it turned out this way. So I did--I walked away.

We went to get something to eat, and i just couldn't stop thinking about how many thousands of people were at this music festival--and how he and I were here, but not together. I really was missing him. I didn't even want to be there anymore. He was my reason for going. I couldn't help but scan the crowd for his face as we walked. And lo and behold, there he was!! He was standing in the middle of where everyone was walking, talking to his guitarist and a girl. I literally stopped dead in my tracks and went over to them. He was wearing a purple t-shirt and jeans and he looked as amazing as I'd remembered.

"Hi there!" I said to him, and I'm sure my knees were wobbly. The three of the stopped talking and just stared at me. Jake looked like a fucking deer in the headlights. He liked, bobbed his head back in disbelief. I said, "You guys were awesome!!" (he didn't need to know I only heard 5 minutes!!!) He said, "you saw us??" and I said, "I told you I bought tickets, remember?" he said, "WOW you came!" like he was happy. He outstretched his arms wide and smiled at me. "C'mere! he said and gave me a huge hug. It was wonderful.

After we hugged, he introduced me to the guitarist (don't remember his name) and the girl was his GF. He was very nice, she was cold as ice, staring at me like I was an enemy. The guitarist was super outgoing and friendly; I can't remember now what he was saying but as he was talking I was thinking, damn, this guy is HOT! And he's nice to me! The whole meeting lasted like, 3 minutes. I was happy I saw Jake, and I knew I looked hot, tan and thin and my hair looked good, makeup and all. I had primped just for him--I had fantasized about this moment for a whole month. I said something about nice meeting you to the guitarist and his GF and looked at Jake and said it was nice seeing him. He gave me another hug---initiated BY HIM MIND YOU and I said a sexy "bye" and waved and walked away. I have still not heard a peep from him.  Which I expected--but STILL. I sent him 2-3 pics of him and his band I'd taken while they were performing and thought I'd at least get a "thank you" but nah, nothing. Oh well. He's only 19 (just had a birthday) so who knows. My band is going to play this festival next summer so things will heat up, I just know it. I'm going to have our manager book our bands together ;)

Mickey is completely out of the picture now. Not returning any of my text or responding to any of my yahoo messenger texts. I saw him online a few times but nothing. I finally told him, "I don't know what's going on with you--but I'm here. I love you and all the ignoring in the world won't change that." That was 2 weeks ago. I googled him--yep, needed to know WTF?? Is he dead somewhere??? and it turns out he's online like 24/7 playing those stupid video games. "Black Ops" or what-the-fuck who gives a shit??? If he'd rather play video games than talk to me fuck him. I don't give a fuck. It's easy to let him go. I don't come second to a fucking video game.

I was trying to get him to text me back. What's worked in the past is when I'd say, "are you upset with me?" he'd always write back, "no, just busy sweety." this time nothing. And after I met Jake, I told him, "I met someone....." and he wrote back, "NOOOOOOOO!!!!! say it isn't so!!!" But this time, no response. Hmmm. I guess the GF is checking his texts and he's on a tight leash. I'm going to just sit this boy out for awhile. He always comes back. That I can count on--Mickey ALWAYS comes back.

Of course--it's easier to let him go now cuz there's someone new in the picture.....someone who I can't believe I actually told him about this blog and he's reading it! He loves it, but i feel like I can't talk about him knowing he's reading it. I will say this for you readers---he is everything so far that I used to get from Mickey. Back in the day, when he'd text me all day long, or text me back immediately when I'd text him. Mickey used to make me feel soooo wanted, so loved, so needed. And Nico, as I will call him, is doing that for me now. We "met" on that dating website 2 weeks ago. He contacted me. He wrote me the sweetest message. Most guys just say things like, "You're beautiful. I have a big cock, do you want to suck it?" and totally grosses me out. Nico didn't write anything like that. He did compliment me which was sweet and told me about himself. Honestly?? Between his pics and his profile, he is so much like Mickey it's eery. They both have a lot of tattoos and gauged ears and both are young (Nico is only 21! Mickey is 26) but the similarities are numerous. But of course, Nico is not Mickey. Nico is mature for his age and treats me so much better. I've known Mickey 8 years now, and he treats me like shit.

I haven't even met Nico yet! We had plans to meet last Saturday night but he said he had car trouble. I didn't believe him at first cuz I've heard it before. But I do now. I saw that he'd written it on his Facebook page. Yes, we are even Facebook friends. Mickey would never accept me. I was his dirty little secret. I feel like I'm healing through Nico.

We Skyped a few nights ago---WOW readers you MUST try it!! It's soooo fun!! I was so nervous at first, and for some reason my stupid webcam wouldn't work but I got to watch Nico jerk off for me. It was soooo exciting! OMG I was totally turned on! It was a shame he couldn't watch me cuz I couldn't help but touch myself watching him! It was fun seeing him as if I was right there. He's cute and sexy and so sweet. He lives so far away though--about 2-1/2 hours--but he seems unaffected by it. He said he's getting his car fixed and plans to come see me next weekend. So, we'll see, I'm not jaded but it's hard to get my hopes up.

Thankfully, my band is going well, although we lost another bass player. We're auditioning more this week but it's frustrating. We are ready to gig and we lose momentum and time. Between my job as a bartender and the band, I'm finally happy here. I am happy when I hear from Nico, he always makes my day that's for sure. Did I mention I have a huge crush on him???

OMG I totally forgot to mention my hubby has a new hottie too! She's someone he used to work with with his old company. She was just an hourly and of course he was the vice president, so they hardly had any contact. She found him out of the blue on FB and she lives in another state, but she's had the hots for him bad! I've been texting her--guess she's bi--and she thinks I'm gorgeous and she looks like a Suicide Girl--green eyes and black hair and tattoos--SHE'S gorgeous! She may come visit us. The girl we had a threesome with a few months ago wants to come visit too. Not sure how I'm feeling about that. She's the one I freaked out on, but we've been texting and things are good.

Whew! That was a lot to get caught up on. Let me know what you think my dear readers. I love your comments and emails--and thanks for the Skype offers you devislish nasty male readers out there! hahha That's just for Nico.

Have a great day everybody!!!

Love,
Anna XOXOXOX

An amazing night in Jake's arms

     We had just gotten to my room, a $500 a night, 5-star hotel in downtown Chicago. Standing next to the bed in my $500 BCBG dress, with nothing on underneath but white, lacy panties, and Michael Kors heels, I was fiddling around with my iPhone and the hotel's iDock, trying to find some music to set the mood. Jake came up behind me and put his warm hands softly on my shoulders and stroked my arms. Pushing my hair to one side, he began nibbling my neck, and I began to melt. He unzipped my dress and being that it was a halter-dress, he undid the bow at the neck and continued to kiss my neck. I allowed myself to melt into his touch, his warm hands, and let him show his affection for me.

     The halter-dress didn't allow for a bra, and Jake quickly discovered this delicious fact as his hands found my naked breasts as the dress fell forward off my body. As it fell, I stepped out of it and he slipped my panties down my bare, tanned legs, and I slipped them off my feet. I tossed my phone down, not giving a shit anymore about music, and saw that he was shirtless,  just in his jeans. He looked beautiful. He was young and sexy, skinny and sporting a new heart tattoo on the front of his right shoulder. The dim yellow light from the vibrant city shining on him, I saw his sweet face and warm smile. I was filled with desire for him and felt my heart racing as my hands touched the soft skin of his chest. He pulled me close and kissed me hungrily, his tongue searching for mine. I felt my blood hot through my whole body. I was on fire. I literally succumbed to my desire for him and let him do whatever he wanted to me. With me, for me, to me. I gave myself to him.

     I don't remember how or when his jeans came off, he was just suddenly naked, laying on his back on one of the two beds in the hotel room. He looked scrumptious. I was so hungry for him. I didn't know where to begin, and neither did he, we wanted each other so badly.

     Over the next three hours, we made love in every position I can think of. We just couldn't get enough of each other. He is so tender, so sweet. He's huge, 10 inches, and he kept saying how much he loved how "tight" my pussy was. It was also too small to hold all 10 inches of him! He'd be very tender, not thrusting too hard. He'd go in gently every time, making sure it didn't hurt and that I was ok. Then we'd fuck like crazy rabbits. We just kept going. I couldn't believe he could go for so long without coming, but he did. And he was rock-hard the whole time. I wasn't getting tired, my desire for him was so strong.

     We fucked every which way imaginable. Doggy-style, reverse cow-girl. Me on top, him on top. Against the wall. At the edge of the bed. 69. But my favorite was this spooning position, him entering from behind me, with his arms wrapped around me tight. I absolutely loved being held like that while he fucked me. I felt so loved. It was warm and amazing. Little did I know it was only going to get better.

     He always asked if I was ok. He was always gentle, even when we were going at it. We were so sweaty, the sheets were soaked, but we were so into each other we hardly noticed. He loved the way I gave him oral, and I loved how he'd sweetly show me or tell me the way he liked me to do it for him. He is so emotionally mature for being only 18. Did I forget to tell you he's only 18?? He's 18 and amazing. With an old soul I believe, for he's mature beyond his years. Calm, thoughtful, affectionate, passionate, tender and a gentleman.
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     He was surprised to hear me tell him that it was a night of "firsts". I'd never had another man bring me to orgasm---with as many lovers as I've had (except for the girls--they know how to touch a girl!) no other guy but my hubby has ever made me orgasm! And he did!! YAY!!! I was so happy! It was so easy to let go with him. I am so comfortable with him, he is like a second skin to me. The Yin to my Yang. I fall into his spell so easily.

I'll never forget it. He was touching me, touching my clit, just the way I love to be touched. As I was moaning and squirming, he was breathing on my neck, getting as excited as I was. I've never had a guy do what he started to do--comment on it! It was soooo sexy. He said, "Ooo, I feel your legs tightening up." You're squirming, it feels good, doesn't it?" "You're breathing harder, you're almost there, aren't you?" he was an amazing lover! and yes, I did come, and he was so happy, I could feel how happy he was to bring me to a climax, he held me close while I was writhing and we rode the rollercoaster of ecstasy together. I'd never, ever, ever, had that with anyone else.

     Another first was spending the whole night with him. Even with Mickey, I'd never actually spent a whole night with anyone else. And you know what? After he came (after 3 amazing hours), we laughed and were glad we had another bed to sleep on! The other one was soaked. We were giggling about it.  We got into the clean, unused bed to sleep. I had gone to go to the bathroom, and when I came back he had on his jeans (guess he hadn't worn any boxers....). So I put on a sexy blue lace matching panties and bra and got into bed with him.

     He laid on his back, and put his arm around me. I laid close to him, smelling how sexy he smelled (I could still smell his cologne too). He is so affectionate. We chatted a little bit, but I didn't want to be annoying. I know guys want to fall asleep after sex and women like to talk, so I was cognizant of that fact. Somewhere in-between chatting, we fell asleep, but I remember telling him that I would probably push him away cuz I didn't like to be touched while I slept.

     Was I ever wrong about that!

     Jake held me close ALL NIGHT LONG. He never stopped holding me.

     It was the most amazing night's sleep I've ever had. Several times I'd awaken, and I'd say, 'Do you want your arm back?" and he'd say sweetly, "no, I'm good". No matter what position I'd move into, he'd mold his body to mine, and hold me tight. I felt so-o-o-o-o loved, so adored. I never wanted to leave him.
Spooning he snuggled his head right into my neck, his arms holding me tightly. Whichever position---cuddling, facing him, snuggled into his armpit, it was heaven. His long arms held me close the whole night long. He never let go, and I never wanted him to.

     In the morning, I woke up early, 8:22 in fact. I had a 2 hr drive ahead of me and knew my hubby and kids would want me home, so I left my Jake's warm embrace to go shower. He slept the whole time, and when I emerged, clean and clean smelling, hair and makeup all done, I found him still in bed and kissed him. Damn he looked sexy. I wanted him to shower and make love to me again. Neither of us had eaten but I didn't care. I wanted him again, even though I was so sore. He declined showering, and I wasn't really sure what he wanted to do. I really wanted him to shower so we'd both be clean and start fresh, so I was kind of like, hmmm, not sure if I'm attracted to you right now, and he wasn't telling me what he wanted,  so I decided to just go home.

     He'd taken the train, so I just drove him to the train station, which was like a 10 minute drive. I wasn't done with him. I hadn't wanted to leave our bed. Why do I have such trouble knowing what I want sometimes? I was eager to get home and not eager. I didn't know when I'd see him again and that made it all the harder. He wasn't talking either, didn't really give an opinion either way, so that wasn't helping. I know he was just allowing me to make the decisions since I had a husband and family to get back to and he had no plans, I get that now. But I wish he'd said something like, 'gee, I really wish we'd cuddle longer", or "let's have one more go-round"--something like that. He gave me a quick hug and kiss, and he was gone. I turned around several times to wave goodbye but couldn't see him once he left my car. I was instantly sad and lonely for him.

     About a half hour into my drive home, I burst into tears. I missed his touch so badly. Thinking about the way he held me all night long. I haven't felt that needed and loved in so long, and I was aching to feel him again. I realized I have intimacy problems, and he's just the guy to break down my walls.

I'm totally falling for him.

Mickey who???

Saving my sanity

I have decided to go ahead and really write that book. Finish it. I have 13 chapters done. What's stopping me? Oh I have many excuses. I vascillate between writing a memoir that will undoubtedly get me on every single talk show in America, with movie rights bought immediately as it hits Number 1 on the Best Sellers Lists. BUT----then I'll lose my family, my friends, and all dignity. So, guess it has to be a work of fiction, although everyone knows that a writer's first book is always a non-fiction work in disguise. My hubby says, just write it.

I am back and forth with Mickey (so what else is new??) and he's making me crazy again. I just give him too much power over me. If I hear from him, I'm happy, in a good mood, and if I don't, I'm cranky and irritable. I don't know how my hubby puts up with me. I think if I write the book and spend a year (or less, hopefully!) I can purge it all out of my system. And who knows what will happen. Maybe that's what I'm afraid of.

I had a "lightbulb" moment at the gym yesterday. (I do all my meditating while I'm running). I realized that my hubby has never given me an ultimatum--Mickey, or him. He is OK with us all being a happy 3sum. It's Mickey that's not ok with it, in the long-run anyway. HE'S the one who would ultimately make me choose. And that moment yesterday when I realized that, was the moment that would be the story of my book. I know who I'd choose---but how would I live with the choice? Either one would be incredibly painful.

I'm excited to write it now, and I do think about that day when Mickey gets his very own personalized copy from me, delivered to his doorstep. He did ask me that day in the hotel room, why haven't I finished it?? He's got a big enough ego that he wants to see his story in print. I have a big enough ego that I want to see MY name on the cover.

Writing is so cathartic. I know that Mickey will never actually make me choose; he has said he would never want to break up my hubby and me. But what if he wanted me that badly.....???

Two Guys in One Afternoon! That's what noontime wine will do

All it took for me to decide, Yes, I want to have sex with you, was that picture in my mind of me 20 years from now, all wrinkled and saggy. What would that future Anna have to say about it? Would she regret saying no, or regret saying yes? Only time will tell, but at that moment, I decided Future Anna would regret saying no. Cuz the day will come when guys like him won't be thinking "She's hot! I want to have sex with her!" when they see me. Soooooo.....until then.....the answer is yes.

I told him to forget meeting at a restaurant, just come straight to my house. I liked him already. We spent so much time texting I felt like I had gotten to know him well enough. I loved his sense of humor and self-deprecating way. That's always a huge turn on for me. Someone who doesn't take themselves too seriously.

He showed up early, and I was barely ready. I had on a sexy black lacy thing with stockings and garter, black spike heels. Hair and makeup all done, a pearl choker. He was cute, with these really full lips that got my motor running. He was sort of preppy-looking, a yellow button-down shirt, dress slacks and shoes, short blonde hair and really cute nerdy glasses. Very pretty blue eyes. Holding a glass of chilled chardonnay, I offered him one but he politely declined, as he had to go back to work soon.  I felt myself relaxing with each sip, and we stood in the kitchen making chit-chat. My dog sniffed him out and gave his approval LOL I glanced at the digital clock on my stove and quickly calculated that if I was going to get naked with him I'd better do it quick---I had a little more than an hour before I had to pick up my kids from school.

I had given him a tour of the house except for the upstairs, so I slyly suggested, "would you like to see the upstairs?" and he smiled and said, "sure!", knowing exactly what I meant. I took off my high heels, since I'm a klutz and knew I'd trip trying to climb the stairs wearing them. I quickly (and I mean quickly) showed him the rooms upstairs and then went into our bedroom. That is, mine and my husband's bedroom.

He didn't waste a second.  He took my face in his hands and started kissing me with those luscious full lips. And you know what kissing leads to.....unbuckling of belts, unbuttoning of shirts, and hands grabbing and groping body parts. It was fast and furious and I loved that he took charge. It wasn't long till we were both completely naked and he was gently kissing my breasts, his hands roving all over in a way that felt soooo good.

I was so pleased to see he was shaved. There's nothing worse than a mouthful of hair during a blow-job. I licked and sucked his cock while he held my hair in a tight ponytail so he could watch. Then he fliped me over. And I mean, literally, flipped me over. He picked me up the way you carry someone over the threshhold, and ever-so-gently flipped me over. He flicked his tongue all the way from my breasts down to my pussy, and stayed there till I almost came. Then he reached over for the condom, and put it on and flipped me over again. He grabbed me by my hips and pulled me close to him and thrust his big cock in me doggy-style. Damn it felt good. Then he flipped me over again, holding my legs in the air and shoving that big cock right in. My stupid dog was outside the bedroom door howling and barking the whole time--guess he thought I was in danger and he was trying to protect me. It was funny and annoying. 

He was great in bed and I am SO glad I said yes! We laughed when we were done, cuz let's face it, sex is hilarious, all that grunting and groaning we made my dog go crazy---making eye contact with our clothes back on was a little embarassing. We made more chit-chat and I walked him to the front door. As he kissed me goodbye, I said something like, "we should do this every Wednesday" and he said, "only Wednesdays? How about every day?" and I laughed and said how fun that would be. As he walked down the driveway, I wondered if my next-door neighbor saw him and what she'd think of it. 

I didn't have much time to think, cuz my hubby was right down the road. We'd texted each other a couple times while E was here, and my hubby had a great big hard-on waiting for his turn with me. Fortunately, I still had 20 minutes so we took full advantage of it! He was so turned on, and I was too, especially since I hadn't had an orgasm. My hubby took good care of me, and he gave me a full load doggy-style. What a fun afternoon!

Male Model with a pretty face and cock!

OMG this man is BEAUTIFUL!! My LA Craig's List ad is still getting me lots of responses, even tho I pulled it a few days ago! (not sure how that works but oh well). I'm so glad too!! LA boys are SOOO much better looking than the choices I have in this small town I live in! He is truly beautiful. And he thinks I'M beautiful!!! I'll call him B for beautiful. He e-mailed me a face pic that was obviously a professional modeling photo that was breathtakingly gorgeous. Shaggy, stylish brown hair, brown eyes, probably 6'3", a button-down plaid shirt, open to reveal a perfectly cut chest and abs, no hair. A smirk on his face as confident as he should be with that body. He sent a second picture of a close-up of his hand on his at least 10 inch cock! Now usually a cock that big doesn't come with a pretty face. So, I'm intrigued. I'm aroused instantly and wishing I was back in LA. I write him back immediately and give him my yahoo messenger address so we can chat. He's online, and adds me right then and there. My kids are home from school so I can't chat with him and ask him to write me later, after they're in bed. He says he's horny now! But ok will talk to me later.

I get online around midnight, and there's his name. He sees mine too and writes to me instantly. "hey sexy, what are you up to?" he asks me. "Just thinking about you", I write back. We both have webcams and thankfully I haven't washed off my make-up and tell him I'm going to go put on something sexy for him. He waits patiently, and i return in a sexy bra and matching thong. We both click "view webcam" and suddenly, there he is, a real, true-life beautiful man with the same face and dick in the pic he sent (you never know.....lots of posers out there). I was so relieved!!And I was soo excited. I took a sip of the white wine I'd poured myself to relax and texted my hubby. He was asleep in another state, out-of-town on business, but he loves to be awakened for a show!

B and I continued to IM each other as we masturbated, telling each other how excited we were. He poured some lube on his enormous penis and stroked it, faster and faster, and told me how pretty he thought I was and how badly he wanted to fuck me. How we just had to get together soon. I wrote back pretty much the same, teasing him by stopping to sip my wine, add lube to my vibrator, and insert it in my vagina, and then stop. He was stroking himself something crazy, and it was really about 10 minutes and he came. Oh, wow, he came all over himself, I was surprised he didn't shoot it all over his laptop! I came right after him, and he watched as he cleaned himself up with a small towel.

I took another sip of wine and read, "thank you so much! that was fun. Can't wait to do it in person" B wrote me. "me too", I agreed, and we both said goodnight. I was about to close my computer when I saw Mickey's IM---"hey" was all it said. But I know Mickey, and if he's IM'ing me past midnight, he only wants one thing. Who was I to ever say no to Mickey? "Hey", I wrote back, and told him I'd BRB (be right back). I had to go touch up my makeup.