Boring night turns exciting

Traveling alone can be so much naughty fun! I got into some mischief this week doing just that.

I was in California last week visiting my elderly father and extended family, staying at a very nice hotel, the kind that has a Starbucks in the lobby, valet and room service 24/7. My kind of accommodations. I had spent the day with my dad and one of my brothers, a somewhat exhausting day of errands and I'd set up a cell phone and Netflix on my dad's television. Not being very good with wires and cable connectors I nevertheless got it all connected and working. I left his house around 9 pm when I saw my dad start yawning and drove the 15 minutes to my hotel. The night was young and I wanted to have some fun.

I'd been snapchatting a hottie I matched with on Tinder from LA off and on; a cute 24 year old who resembled Zacky Vengeance from the band Avenged Sevenfold. Black hair, blue eyes, lots of muscles, a guitairst. We'd almost hooked up in March when I visited last but it didn't happen. I didn't forget him, and once I had a plane ticket, I let him know I'd be coming and wanted to see him.

I went to my room, took a shower and freshened up. I put on a sexy off-white spaghetti-strapped cocktail dress and stilettos. No bra. I took the elevator down to the hotel bar, which thankfully was booming with attractive young people in various suits and dresses. A convention possibly?? I sat down at the only available bar stool. To my right was a somewhat frumpy couple in their 50's, and they were arguing, and to my left were two white executives in the 60's. I felt the eyes turn to me as I ordered a glass of Cabernet. The bartender was acting like Frankenstein--his eyes glazed as if he were a homeless man presented with an entire Thanksgiving dinner. It made me uncomfortable. The TV's that were on were all sports and not much to look at, and I didn't want to just stare into my phone. The guy I was snapchatting wasn't going to make it after all, so I was back to square one.

The older executives made small talk to me and they were actually quite funny. Thankfully they weren't flirting, and soon left. Two guy took their spots--a guy in cargo shorts, a black T-shirt and ball cap, and next to me, a very good-looking guy in expensive jeans, boat shoes, and a button-down shirt missing the cufflinks. He had blonde short cropped hair and plopped down on the bar stool with  his back to me, facing his friend. He sat with one leg crossing the other in a very open swagger that let me know he was hot-to-trot.

His friend must've said something to him about me because it wasn't five seconds later he twirled around and said a 'helloooooooo" that was as cliche and hilarious as they come. He was already tipsy and was drinking a mojito. I glanced at his friend and he had a sort of embarrassed wing-man face. Sort of like, "oy vay, here we go again". I chuckled to myself and knew that this was going to be entertaining.

He was a bit of a goofball; he was over-the-top enamored of me and I was enjoying the attention mainly because he was very good-looking. I could tell he had money by the way he was dressed. He was very alpha male, which I have to say alternately turns me on and turns me off. I like my men effeminate and he really wasn't, but he was very cute. He had dimples and blue eyes and didn't talk "at" me but "to" me. And I really had nothing better to do than sit alone in my room and I wanted something more than that.

He gave me all his attention. I learned he was 38 (old for me!! LOL) and a divorced dad with a 12 year old son he'd brought along with his friend who was also divorced with a 12 year old son. They lived in Canada (I don't remember where) and they came to take their boys to Disneyland. I asked, "where's your boys?" He answered they were up in their room playing video games. He asked if I was alone and I said yes. He saw my wedding ring and asked, "you're married?" I answered, "yes", and he let my answer just hang there. No other questions.

As I sipped my wine (I got a refill from Frankenstein) this handsome hottie was making an obvious play for me. Two or three times he'd be saying something and then playfully insert "and your room number is....???" To which I'd say, "I'm not giving you my room number!" He loved the game, the chase, and so did I. I was having fun.

I've honestly never been hit on.

Mostly because everywhere I go, I'm with my husband. We go out a lot but we're always together. This was really the first time I'd been in a bar and gotten hit on.. I'm severely out of practice, but I was learning as it was happening.

Mostly, I knew that as much as I liked this hottie I'll call Canada, he was not getting in my bed. And the harder he tried, the more fun it was to keep saying no.

The TV's had on all the sports highlights, and it just so happened that the Packers had won earlier in the day, so we talked about that. About how I live in Wisconsin. He called me a Cheesehead and we joked about his Canadian accent.  He asked for my room number again and when I said I wasn't going to give it to him, he admitted that he'd tried with a couple of women at a nearby table he pointed out to me. That was all it took for me to cement my stand that he wasn't going to get anywhere with me. What a turnoff! He was just a guy looking to get laid and wasn't too choosy. He saw me as little more than a conquest. And he apparently knew he was hot and that was both annoying, and yes, hot.

I did like him but was not going to let him have me that easily. He was very charming.  I'd decided I would let him kiss me eventually. He really wasn't my type at all--like I said, I like rocker types and men on the effeminate side, but he was really fun. We were laughing and getting along well. And again, I had nothing better to do.

I'd finished my second glass of wine, and I was thinking about what would be fun with him. I remembered that the hotel's rooftop pool was nicely landscaped, and since it was a beautiful warm evening, maybe we should go for a walk. So I suggested to him just that.

And he jumped at it.

I asked Frankenstein the bartender to get my bill, and when he presented it to me, Canada plunked down a hundred dollar bill and paid for it, leaving a $20 bill as a tip. As if Frankenstein was complicit in him leaving the bar with me. It all made me chuckle. The attention was really so fun. I found myself really liking it because the guys I see back home are just so fucking lazy!! And Rocker Boy has gone completely AWOL and I was just ripe for someone to pay attention to me and make me feel special and pretty you know??

Drinks in hand, we walked to the elevator, and when the doors shut, his gentlemanly side showed and he asked if he could kiss me. I said yes. He pressed his body up against mine and gave me a deep and affectionate kiss. He was delicious. I was tipsy by this point and the night felt perfectly romantic. The elevator ride wasn't long enough and suddenly the doors opened. We parted and got out, and I led him to the door to the rooftop pool. It was really a perfect night---close to 80 degrees and it was probably around 11 o'clock. The landscaping was so pretty; lights around the trees and plants curving around the fenced-in pool. I was hoping the hot tub was still open but it wasn't.

We stopped by some outdoor tables and he stopped with the charm and let his guard down. I really liked it. He started telling me about his divorce and how he's got full custody of his son and all.
He'd said that he was taking his son to Hollywood the next day, but would be staying one more night and then flying home. I said, "where's your phone?" He said, "Up in my room, my son has it." I said, "well, give me your number". He did, and I texted him so he'd have mine. I showed him my text and said, "there ya go. Tell you what. Play your cards right and maybe you'll have my room number tomorrow night." He said, "What do you mean?" I said, 'Text me and tell me how much you're thinking about me and can't wait to see me. Make me feel special." He said, "I can do that".

And suddenly we noticed that there was a couple in a window above us that was having sex! It appeared a woman was on her hands and knees giving some guy a blow job! We giggled and said, "that's hot!!"That's all he needed to get the courage to make a move on me and in seconds he was inches from me. He put his drink down on a nearby glass-top table. took mine from my hand, and started kissing me.  I let him. I felt that electrical surge course all through my body, and yes, my lady-parts, and I felt myself changing my mind about fucking him. I could feel his hard dick as he kissed me, deep and passionately, and I was super turned on. His kisses went from my mouth to my neck, to my cleavage, to my nipples as he used one hand to gently move the spaghetti strap aside. I felt my body melting into his and for a few seconds there, I just wanted to rip his clothes off. Unbeknownst to him, my room was right around the corner. Same floor.

We broke apart and he ruined the moment by putting his hand on his zipper. No way. I was done. I wasn't going to have outdoor sex with 300 rooms with windows all facing us. I moved it and said, "I'm walking you to the elevator." I started to walk towards the gate and he followed. He said, "So you're really not going to invite me to your room?" and I said, "Nope! That would ruin it." He looked like I'd taken his Halloween candy and pouted. I left him at the elevator with a short kiss, turned and walked away. I was worried he'd try to follow but he didn't.

Then next day, I didn't hear from him until 10:35 pm. He didn't know it but he'd blown it. I didn't meet up with him. I was disappointed to be honest. I was turned on all day thinking about fucking him but he couldn't even text once??? I finally wrote him back around midnight and just said sorry I'm out.

The next day I texted him, and we've been texting back and forth. He admitted he didn't think he'd hear from me again and I quote, "I'm in. I'm so turned on just talking to you." So this is fun. Who knows? Maybe our paths will cross again sometime in the future, or maybe we will MAKE them cross.

And THEN the sex will be amazing.

Anna's hubby gets some action!

Hello sexy readers!!

I thought I'd take today to fill you in on a couple things you may be wondering about, like, namely, my husband's love life!! Without digressing into the whole journey we took getting here, basically, you could say right now it's more equal than it's been in the last 4 years since I accidentally uncovered years of lies and infidelity. 

Basically, it's been mostly one-sided since we reunited in April of 2012. Of course I have had major trust issues with him, so he has refrained from having other women in his life until recently. It's not that he hasn't been interested in anyone; it's that I haven't allowed him to act on it. The first woman he chose was a co-worker (yes, AGAIN) and I forbid it. He willingly complied. Always worried he will cheat again--hence the saying, "Once a cheater, always a cheater", I made sure his leash was on tight at all times. Fearful of losing me, he obliged and didn't complain.

We've made increasing progress over the last two years, mostly because I had some epiphanies that began the night I watched my mother take her last breaths. And of course, weekly therapy for three years and anti-depressants during that time. And most of all, my steadfastness and earnestness to heal from the trauma.

I also made a New Year's resolution this last New Year's Day that I would not live another day in fear. With my permission, my husband went back on Tinder and OKCupid, and met someone. I'll call her "Kate".

I told him I needed him to take it slowly, and he was wonderful and said that was fine. He said all the right things; that "no one was worth" losing me over. still suffer from PTSD from all the trauma; just hearing his phone "ding" and seeing him holding it and texting his mother even was causing major distress to me. 

But I worked through it. And all this started way before I met Blondie. I wasn't seeing anyone, and here it was his turn for some attention. I did feel a lot of guilt that it was one-sided, but it was mixed with quite a bit of indignation in the form of "you should feel so fucking lucky you have ME!! How dare you want anyone else???!!!" 

But the REAL breakthroughs came when I went to California by myself in January this year. I spent a lot of time on the beach; the very beaches I grew up on that welcome me back every time with open arms. I had some epiphanies during my time on the sand: I ran every day, I played in the water, I meditated, I cried, I sat and watched the surfers, I gazed at the cute little sandpipers running back and forth with the waves, poking their long, skinny beaks into the sand for food. I took a zillion pictures. I never wanted to leave. I just wanted to curl up in the sun and sleep. I realized how eternal the ocean is--that it was here long before me. That is was there for me when I was growing up, and every time I return, it welcomes me with open arms and all it's grandeur and love. And long after I'm gone, it will still be there, giving its love to everyone who comes and seeks joy on her shores. 

I burst into tears when I realized that this is the love my husband gives me. It's eternal, it is unconditional, and what is MY love???!! The opposite!! It was quite a moment. I decided right then and there on my beach that I would try to love him the way he loves me. Starting right now.

Add to that, I met HH two days later, and I had such a fun time with him. And I continued to think, "I could fall in love with HH and would it diminish what I feel for my H (husband)?" And the answer is no. And he loves me enough to allow me to be whoever I need to be to be true to myself! Don't I want that for HIM??!! I would never get to that place if he had a leash on me the way I've had a leash on him. 

What I left out is, when I left for California, I was overwhelmed with anxiety. The worst I'd had in a long time. All I thought about night and day was him and Kate.  I'd "allowed" him to go on 5 dates with her!!! Nothing had yet happened aside from one kiss which made me go ballistic. I wanted desperately to be "ok" with them fucking but was holding the leash on them. I had been going to hypnosis also to try to re-program my brain from the trauma of being cheated on. It was helping but I still couldn't get there. 

I even made the effort to meet Kate and indeed we met her for drinks. I needed to try harder. Because my husband deserved it. He was trying so hard to do the right thing. She was SO nice, SO respectful, and we ended up being friends. Not BFF's mind you. But I believed her when she said she loves her husband and isn't looking to replace him with my H. I felt so good about her I invited her to come to our band's gig the following week.

And she came, and when I saw her, I was actually happy for my H. It was HUGE. Huge progress for me to see them standing together, body language showing interest in one another and thinking about my husband being naked with another woman. I had a few bad moments but I realized I could get past them.

So I was getting there, but increasing was my anxiety over "letting them" actually fuck. They weren't pressuring me for permission thankfully--the pressure came from within me. I was convinced that if they did, I would go into a full-on PTSD rage and I'd want to divorce him, and he was so scared that would happen, he said he had all but lost interest in her or anyone. 

So by the time I left for California, I was so worked up with anxiety about it all. I wanted so desperately to be a different person than I was. And I was trying so fucking hard to get there! What was my fucking problem??? The trauma. The cheating. It does REAL damage folks. Until you've been there, you have NO IDEA. And I had come a long way with all my therapy and meds, but still, the PTSD is REAL. And it can be REAL BAD.

When I returned from my trip, I felt like I had truly healed. My ocean, my beach healed me.

I told my H all about my epiphanies and of course he was happy for me but distrustful that it would last. And I can't honestly say he isn't right, but I am trying very hard.

The very next week he had to travel there himself for work and I suggested he look up "Ling-Ling" (not her real name) and see if she was interested in hooking up. She did want to see him! He met her at her work in downtown LA and they went out to dinner. It was about a four-hour date; it didn't end in sex, only a hug but they had a great time. I was actually totally fine the whole time bc my H was texting me the whole time, checking in with me frequently. He was so scared of doing the wrong thing.And he contacted her again last week when he was in LA again and she stood him up, but continued to send him sexy pics of herself and say "next time".

Enter Blondie.

Meeting him has made me appreciate my H even more. He is so supportive of our relationship because, and I quote, "he makes you happy."

I want to love him that much. And it has made me question so many things about myself, marriage, and all that stuff. But that's for another blog.

And when we were in LA last week together, we were at the hotel bar (Sunset Marquis mind you, not just your "average" hotel bar) and we were getting hammered. I was making out with some hot model and I realized later my H was making out with some older woman at the same time! We laughed about it later. We were both okay.

I had to fly home the following day and he stayed for work, and I told him to see if Ling-Ling was interested in seeing him. They texted back and forth, but ultimately, she was apparently too busy once again, but she IS still interested in taking things further and they have a tentative hook-up date for early April when he travels there again.

I know Kate has shown renewed interest in him as well, and my thing was always, "don't fuck JUST her", which is why I kept encouraging him to see Ling-Ling in California too. I was so worried about him falling in love with Kate and I thought if he had more than one woman that would be less likely to happen.

How silly I've been.

Being with Blondie has opened my eyes to a different perspective on things in so many ways. And of course, a lot of it is in the abstract bc it hasn't happened yet. My husband has NOT fucked another woman since September 2011. And I know he's super conflicted about it.

The night we were at the Sunset Marquis and we'd both been making out with other people, we got separated from each other and found each other by one of the outdoor pools. I can't remember a time when we were that drunk. I was mostly giggly (I get like that) but he was almost desperate. He was so upset at what he had done and was beside himself. When we talked the next day, I realized it was bc he hadn't had a chance to ASK me if he could make out with this woman. He felt like he'd cheated on me again and he was just sick about it. He stopped himself from going to her hotel room by getting up and leaving the bar when she said she had to go use the restroom. He came to find me and was scared when he couldn't find me initially.

I said to stop worrying, it was fine. Even though he was drunk, he stopped himself from fucking her. I was proud of him. And if he hadn't?? I guess I would've freaked out! He's right!! But maybe not, bc Blondie and I had just had two amazing dates before our trip and we were texting the whole time I was there. I've been in La-La Land ever since and it's like nothing bothers me now! I'm floating up above and sharing the loving feeling as if I were a hippy on acid. Love, love, love, like the Beatles song.

I realized later too, that my H has really no rules or leash on me. I have to be the same for him. I WANT to be the same way.

If I want to fuck someone, I just tell him. BEFORE I do anything. And that's really our only rule. Let each other know BEFORE anything happens. But then like that Saturday night at the Marquis, sometimes, you get into a compromising situation and the request for permission doesn't happen. I have to be forgiving and flexible.  I have to know my husband's heart. It's called TRUST.

And I can truly say, four years after D-day, that he has earned that trust back.

Hotel room fun

If you are one of my Twitter followers, you saw some tweets today that probably left you feeling like, "Poor Anna". Hopefully it did! But last night was fun so I'll tell you about that first. The "Poor Anna" situation that happened today was by the same guy I had fun with last night. I look forward to hearing your thoughts.

I met this guy on Tinder, I'll call him Brian (NOT his real name), he's a 20-year old college boy, and he has seemed quite enamored of me. He has tried to see me a few times, but it's always "right now" and sorry I do have a life, a very busy one, and need a little more planning usually. I have a child too, I can't just gussy up at 10 o'clock at night and leave for hours--without any planning. So...he really started texting me a lot, then it went to Snapchatting and he just couldn't get enough of me. He begged me to come see him. He is SUPER cute, just my type, light brown hair, blue eyes, and in his pics he looks thin to average body, typical skinny constantly underfed college boy. I always creep on potential lovers to see if they know my own 20-year old son (LOL) and I saw from Brian's Facebook he had a very gorgeous girlfriend. I swear, she looks like a Victoria's Secret supermodel. Tall and thin, not a shred of fat on her, and always in sexy lingerie, posing just like a model, with a beautiful face and long, blonde hair below her breasts. I couldn't believe she wasn't enough for him???!!! SERIOUSLY???!! So, I was intrigued.

He wanted me to give him a BJ in his car. He wanted to meet in some park near his house, which is about 40 minutes from me. I told him, 'Uh, no, that's not going to happen." Who does he think I am, a two-bit hooker??? I was insulted. I just said, 'LOL I'm not 15 that's not my style." He said he lives with his parents (these seems to be an on-going theme here.....) so we couldn't go to his house. And of course my daughter's home so coming here was out of the question too. I told him I'd get a hotel room. He was a bit of an asshole in that he kept insisting I find something near HIM. I thought, "Fuck you! If I'm paying for a hotel room YOU can fucking drive to ME!!" Of course I didn't say that though.

I was having dinner/drinks with my hot mess BFF and she knew I was planning on meeting Brian. I told her, 'you teach people how to treat you. He said I am his first "MILF". I need to teach him that women our age don't give blowjobs in random parks at 10 o'clock at night!!!" LOL Well, maybe after we've been together a few times hehehehhe but not the very first time you meet him!!!!

So, I called around the nice hotels in the area, and they were all $169 a night. For one hour??? Fuck no. He was hot, but he wasn't THAT hot, and if it meant he had to wait for another time, so be it. I just got this over-riding feeling he had some jerk-ness to him. He was adamant that he got off work at 9, could meet me by 9:30, and that he was meeting some friend at the gym at 10:15. So I was losing interest quickly.

I thought too, if he's THAT good looking, and a bit of a self-centered jerk, he's used to girls falling all over him. Let him try a little fucking harder.

I texted him, "IDK babe hotels too expensive. At dinner with my friends right now." I was evasive and making him squirm. I loved it. And I was truly losing interest. He was too much work. I was doing everything and he was doing nothing.

So my friend and I were having a great time visiting and catching up, and he was persistent. Finally he said, "I'll drive there and you give me a BJ in the parking lot?" I was like, well, at least he's willing to drive 40 min each way. BUT I'm still not going to give him a BJ. What's in it for me?? What am I, 15 years old? Jesus Christ.

THEN I REMEMBERED THERE WAS A HOTEL RIGHT BEHIND THE RESTAURANT!! I asked the bartender if she knew what it was, and she said, "La Quinta"! I high-fived my BFF and called and sure enough, I got a reservation and it was only $82! I texted Brian and he was very excited. He said he'd meet me in the lobby at 9:30

Perfect!!!

He was running about 10 minutes behind, and my BFF and I paid for our dinner and I gulped down most of my third margarita. I drove over to the hotel (hehehe like 50 feet) and went in and paid for my room. Now, Anna has had sex in hotel rooms but I've never paid for one JUST FOR THE PURPOSE OF HAVING SEX. So this was naughty and fun. The slim, young attractive African-American front desk clerk was sweet as punch. I went up to the room to get situated, and within a few minutes, he texted he was "here." I went down the elevator (three floors) and there he was, sitting on one of the cheesy lime green brushed velvet chairs in the tiny lobby. Our eyes met and we both smiled, and he got up and walked over to me. We said our hellos and we walked together the few steps over to the elevator.

He asked what floor as I pushed the number 3 button. I was nervous but had almost 3 peach margaritas in me, which helped my nerves. He was cuter than his pics. Wearing baggy sweats with his high school emblem on it and a tight muscle T-shirt, I was like, "whoa, this guy's a fucking 10!!!" Waiting for the elevator, which turned out to be a very long minute, we nervously glanced at each other, and staring at me, he said, "wow, you're even prettier than your pics!" That made me smile so big!! I said 'Thank you!' and the door opened.

Once we got into the room, we were both awkward and didn't know how to get started. Clearly he was waiting for me to make the first move. I remembered something his Tinder profile said that I thought was very endearing, not at all "jerk-like", and that was, "7th best kisser in (my city)". He laid down on one of the queen beds and made himself comfortable, and he said, "Come here". I LOVE being told what to do and obeyed. I climbed on top of him and straddled him, and just kissed him. He has really full lips and he was a very good kisser! So in-between kisses, "Hmmm, I'd say you're at least 5th best kisser in (name of city)" He thought that was cute and giggled. He slid my panties off and commented that he loved my stillettos and that I hadn't taken them off.

He warned me he hadn't had sex in a long time (probably a few days hehehe) and was hoping he wouldn't come too quickly. I said that was fine, that I would take that as a compliment.He mentioned his girlfriend and said he'd broken up with her. We also had been talking about meeting today after his class at the junior college that's happily only a mile and a half away from me!! So that was the agreement; if he came too quickly, he'd make it up to me tomorrow (today).

He took off his T-shirt, and I gasped. I literally gasped. He looked just like an Abercrombie model. Not a shred of fat on him anywhere. He had the "V" abs. Molded biceps and hairless chest. He was PERFECT. I loved his big, strong arms, and I loved the way he couldn't take his eyes off me. I've fucked a lot of guys who close their eyes and he wasn't one of them. It was really neat. I really liked it.

Then I asked him to take off his sweat pants. OMG he had on those tight boxers I love and had a huge hard-on. I admired his beautiful body, and touched his legs and abs, and told him how beautiful i thought he was. He returned the compliment. I took off my dress over my head and tossed it aside and he undid my bra in the back and took it off. He cupped my breasts in his hands, and shoved them in his face and gave my nipples some hard sucking. I wanted to taste him, all over.

I started with kissing him, then nibbled his neck (I whispered I wouldn't leave marks), and licked and kissed his chest and continued down his torso, to his throbbing hard cock. His hands just glided gently over me and I went down on him. He WAS delicious. He interrupted my sucking and said, "I'm sorry for not shaving down there." I said, 'It's fine, I didn't even notice". And I hadn't. There wasn't much hair. I was too busy being turned on and having a great time. Then he told me what he wanted, and that was to flip around and sit on his face while I sucked his cock.

WOW I had never done that with anyone but my hubby! And I can't remember the last time we did that! Brian put his fingers in me and fucked me with them, and alternatively, licked my clit. He was very pleasantly surprised and said, "WOW! YOU'RE PIERCED THERE?" I said, 'yep!" He dug his tongue in deeper.

Then he was ready to fuck me.

I had brought 2 condoms with me, and had them on the bed with us. I opened one of them, and felt his eyes on me as if I were a one-way mirror and I didn't realize I was being watched. It was really amazing. I felt like he really, really was into me.

I put the condom on him, and helped, and I said how I thought that was a turn-on, putting a condom on. He agreed.

He wanted me on top, and I fucked him for a bit and it felt great. Then he wanted to be on top, and he grabbed his balls and said, "I read somewhere that this stops me from cumming too soon." I said, 'Awesome!! That's hot!!" So he sat there on his knees, holding his balls, this muscled, 20 year old fucking hottie, and I was on  my back, legs splayed out watching him. After about 30 seconds or so, he grabbed my legs and spread them wider and put his juicy big cock in me and fucked me hard. It didn't last long, I was just getting into it when he said, "Want me to pull off the condom and cum on you?" I said,'oh yeah that would be hot!" and he pulled out and tried to yank off the condom but it got stuck on the tip. I helped pull it off and cum sprayed all over my stomach. It was awesome.

It was maybe 15-20 minutes from start to finish. He was delicious and fun, but I was clearly unsatiated and couldn't wait for this morning when he was going to come back. Then he started taking pictures of me. He asked me to stay on my back and he spread my legs and took a pic. I made sure my head was turned with my hair covering my face. He showed it to me afterwards and said how hot it was. I started to get dressed; I put my bra and panties on and he asked for a pic from behind. I posed for him, again, shielding my face. He took a few more pics when I wasn't posing, as if I was a celebrity he bumped into on the street. He showed them all to me, and they were all flattering, and my face couldn't be seen in any of them. He said,'I want to show my friend back home." Why wouldn't I think it was flattering?

We got dressed and he asked where the condom was LOL I found it on the bed and tossed it in the toilet. He got his keys  and we looked at each other, and he said, 'Much better than a BJ in the park" and laughed and I said, 'Definitely!!!"  I grabbed my purse and phone, and we walked out the hotel room door.

When we got outside the hotel, again he mentioned his class was from 7:30-9:20 and he would come over after. I said I couldn't wait!! He started to walk off and I said, 'Hey! Say goodbye!" with a playful laugh and he came back and we hugged awkwardly and kissed. It was more of a peck. Not what I was hoping for but oh well. I walked one way to my car and he walked the opposite.

Soooooooo.......I was signed up for a 9 am exercise class but I chose to miss it to fuck Brian again. After I got home from taking my daughter to school, I started to get ready. It was exactly 7:30. I hadn't heard from him but didn't really think much of it, I assumed since the class was so early, he would be tired and racing to make it to class on time. I showered and got ready, lit candles and had a couple pieces of toast since I was so hungry. I realized I didn't need any alcohol this time, I felt dreamy from it being so early and having had fun with him last night.

So I simply texted him, "Good morning", and then gave my address and directions to my house. I sent a naked snapchat to excite him.

Nine-twenty came and went, and so did 9:30 when I wrote, "are you coming?" At 10:35 when he still hadn't responded, I sent a final text, "WTF". He had opened the snapchat pic of me at 10:21 and didn't respond.

It is now nearly 8 pm and not a peep.

WHATEVER.

I'm really getting tired of this shit.

I guess I was intuitive about his "jerk-ness".

What about all the pics he took??? Am I just some joke to his friends? Or was he bragging?

Readers? Help me here?

Tell me what you think.

Foreplay is my forte!

The boys on Tinder in LA are just hotter than here where I live.....I shouldn't say that but it's true. All that fresh air and sunshine....mmmmm....so it should come as no surprise that no sooner had I landed then I was on the dating site looking for a hottie to play with. It didn't take me long to find some cuties; I narrowed it down to three and chatted back and forth over a couple days to see who would actually show up at my hotel room. The cutest one I'll call Felipe (he's not even Hispanic so don't get your panties in a wad thinking he's your guy ladies) and we exchanged phone numbers. By Sunday he was sending me shirtless pics and yes, nudies. He was GORGEOUS. 26 years old, clearly works out, ripped abs but not overly muscle-y. Very handsome too. A definite 9. Brown eyes, brown hair, a little hair on his lower stomach which super turns me on.

We teased each other back and forth with pics and sexting, but I know it usually ends there. He had wanted me to come to his apartment during the day but I was busy seeing family, but I was going to be alone in the hotel that night so I was letting him know I wanted him that night instead. He was begging me to "come over now, I have a big hard dick waiting for you" but I wasn't available. Besides, isn't the teasing the best part??? The part where they want me SO bad they are putty in my hands.

The evening rolled along and he was still interested. We agreed 9 o'clock would work, he'd just come straight to my hotel room. He was super excited and horny, and I admit, so was I.

I had had dinner with my hubby, and two glasses of wine later (three for him) we were snuggling at the bar. He always gets so excited when I have a date! He had to leave me there to drive 3 hours where he had meetings the next morning, so it was a perfect opportunity for me to have a little fun. He kissed me and left, and I went to my room to freshen up for my new lover.

I put on some sexy music and ordered two vodka sprites for us, and showered and got ready. I had packed some sexy lingerie just for this moment, and tried on a few different ones and sent selfies to my hubby and asked him what I should wear for my young stud. I wore the one he chose (I do as I'm told). He also told me to wear my stilettos for him too.

We said our goodnights and "I love you"'s and hung up. I had an amazing view of the LAX airport, and grabbed my drink and a chair. I put up my feet and watched the planes taking off and landing and waited for my lover to arrive. The last thing he wrote before I sat down was, "See you soon babe!"

Then came this: "God my car won't start!"

I was like, "yep, stood up again." These guys get scared. Another wasted night alone in a hotel room.

He said he'd call Uber. Then he said he couldn't afford it. Then he asked me if I'd be willing to pay one way. I stopped writing him. Fuck that. I'm not paying anything. I am giving myself to you. I'm not a whore. I'm a slut! There's a difference!!

When he realized I stopped responding, he said, "I'll take that as a no hahaha", then, "hey enjoy the pics wish it happened. Safe travels tmrw." It seemed he might've actually been telling the truth. I responded, "Me too. thank u." He said, "If you're ever in the area hit me up" to which I didn't respond, but thought to myself, "yeah, so you can stand me up yet again!!!!"

Then he wrote, "Actually fuck it I'm coming be there in 20"

YAY!!!!!!!! THAT'S THE CORRECT RESPONSE!!!

I said, "you are?" And he responded, "yeah maybe 30 because I have to wait for this uber." I said, "I'm glad you changed your mind" and sent him a selfie to reward him. He loved it. He said, "Get ready baby, I'm on my way."

I did a little happy dance and texted my hubby the date was back on. He said he already had a huge hard on and couldn't wait. Could I leave my phone on secretly so he could hear?? I said I would do that for him.

He didn't get there till 10:40, but he did show up. I had told him to send me a quick text when he got to the hotel, but he didn't! All of a sudden I heard a knock at my door!!! It was him!!!

I said, "who is it?" and he said, "It's me!" I opened the door and there he was, all 5-9 inch, twenty-six years old full of smoldering testosterone. He was GORGEOUS! As good looking as his pics! I let him in and we were both smiling! He kissed me right away and I said I thought he was going to text me when he got here and he said he was so excited he forgot! LOL 

He kicked off his shoes (black and white Converse) and I took him by the hand and led him over to the bed. He quickly took off his shirt and there were those amazing abs...just inches away from my face. I put my hands on them and pulled him close so I could smell him. Mmm I love the way men smell!! It wasn't like full-on cologne scent, it was just "manly" LOL as silly as that sounds. I gave him butterfly kisses and caressed his torso, he was just so delicious. 

My favorite part is the unzipping of the fly and getting to see the hard cock for the first time. I love this part!!! He started to do it himself and I gently took over for him. I love the unbuckling, I love the unzipping, and I love the feeling a guy must get at this point. The anticipation is the best part! It's better than Christmas! It's a gift I love to give myself. 

Once opened, I gently pulled his jeans down and allowed him to step out of them. Standing in front of me is one of the most beautiful bodies I've ever laid eyes on, and he's all mine. Also discovering what kind of boxers/undies they wear is another favorite of mine. He had on the stretchy kind that hugs his package, and it was apparent I had gotten him all worked up! I loved rubbing his hard cock while it was still inside. Like I said, the anticipation is my favorite. Foreplay is my forte! I put my mouth on that huge bulge and nibbled it till he couldn't stand it another second. I grabbed his ass and squeezed it hard. What a nice tight ass he had!  He was running his hands through my hair gently and then grasped my head to lift me up to his mouth. He kissed me hard and sensuously, his tongue so hungry. It was juicy and so delicious. I love being kissed!!!!!

He lifted me and put my on the edge of the bed, and pulled out his big hard dick. Mmmm I put my mouth around it and started sucking it just like I'd texted him I would. He then pushed me gently onto my back and hovered over me, that big dick bouncing up and down in my face. I giggled and took it in my mouth and kept sucking it. 

I pulled off and said, "come lay down", and he did. I got on top of him, took a big long drink of that sexy man laying there in my bed, and took a mental picture. He was happy and smiling, his hands leisurely behind his head, just splayed out for my pleasure. This is where I feel like a kid in a candy store, I just can't decided what I want to do first! Suck him? Lick him? Fuck him? Reverse cowgirl or just climb on top? I decided to straddle him and continue the BJ I'd promised him. He was DELICIOUS. He moaned and stiffened and grabbed my hair and writhed in delight. It wasn't five minutes when I tasted his pre-cum and I always let a guy know I've tasted it. He loved it. 

It was the quietest orgasm I'd ever given anyone! He came in my mouth and I swallowed it all completely seamless. It just went down so easily and I never had the gag response like I've gotten with other guys. It was like, "SHIT HE JUST CAME!! HOW THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN???"

And as pleased as he was, he was done!

He pulled me down next to him, and he cuddled me. He said, "give me five minutes, I'll be ready to go again." I said, "no worries! You can play with ME!" and coyly took his hand off his dick, which he was slapping around to get it hard again, and put it on my very wet and excited pussy. He fingered me for a little bit and just as I was ready to come he stopped and went back to slapping his dick again and I said, "I'll make you excited again by making me come" but he seemed so focused on his floppy dick. Then he said he had to go to the  bathroom, so he got up and went (I was hoping he'd leave the door open....and I contemplated following him in....but I chickened out and he closed the door....

He came back to bed but he was done. He was very sweet and kept apologized but the truth was, I didn't care that his dick wasn't getting hard! There was a lot he could do that had nothing to do with his limp penis! I asked him if he'd go down on me and he said, "sorry I don't do that" and I was like, "oh....okayyy...." and was really disappointed. He was sweet and shy, he was embarrassed about his limp dick and really didn't get that I didn't care. I wanted him to touch me and please me, but he didn't have a clue even though I was doing my best to communicate what I wanted him to do. I couldn't convince him sadly, and he looked at his phone and said his cab was there.

He started to get dressed, and I picked up my purple satin robe and put it on. He sat down on the bed to put his shoes on, and I told him I loved his Converse shoes and told him I collected them. He said he did too, and we chatted about them for a little bit. Then he took my face in his hands and kissed me and thanked me for a great time, and that he'd love to see me again next time I'm in LA. I said I would definitely call him. We walked to the door, he kissed me hard again, and smiling, left. I watched his sexy ass walk away and closed the door. Then suddenly I heard a knock, and it was him again! He said, "I left my phone!" and we laughed and he went over to the bed, grabbed it, and kissed me again on the way out. And again, I watched his sexy ass walk away out into the hall, smiled to myself, and closed the door.

I took out my contacts, and called my hubby and told him how the night went. He was three hours away in another hotel room and he was still as horny as I was. We masturbated to each other and it was super hot. We pleased ourselves as we pleased each other and said our "I love you's" and goodbyes.

Laying there in the dark, feeling quite dreamy, and texted Felipe, "Thanks for coming (pink heart emoticon) you're very sweet and sexy" He wrote back immediately, "Thank you! I had a blast!" That was awesome.

I slept very well that night.

               

Crazy vacation shit

I was so fucking excited to go to California and see B, you have no idea. I spent days prepping--got my pretty fake tan just so, worked out as usual (I'm at a great weight right now), and had my roots touched up. All the planets were aligned and off I went. We had texted the night before that I would text him when I landed in LA and he was going to meet me at my hotel. I was getting super horny and thinking nasty thoughts the whole 4-1/2 hour plane ride. I couldn't wait to get there!

No sooner had I gotten to my hotel room and texted him, I got a text from a girlfriend of mine from the city I just moved from.  She told me a mutual friend of ours (I'll call her Erica) had passed away. This friend just happens to be the girl my hubby and I had a 3sum with back in April (see my blogs about her May 2011--titled "Aftermath" and "Tables are Turned"). I was instantly in shock. WTF???!! Sitting in my beautiful poolside suite, waiting to hear from B, my phone started blowing up. Calls coming in from friends about Erica. Each of us trying to get info about what happened to her. I had to call my hubby--he began sobbing. It was horrible. 

Next thing I knew, several hours had passed by--I'd cried off all my makeup and was exhausted,  and still nothing from B. I showered and got dressed up and decided to go downstairs and get myself some dinner. I still thought I was going to see him, and I hadn't eaten all day. After my solo dinner with all the hired help stumbling over themselves --it was so good for my ego--B finally called me. His voice was sexy and gravelly and he was telling me about something he had to do and would call me in a half hour. I decided to go wait for him in the bar. The bar at this hotel is like U-shaped, and I was sitting in the "U" when guy came and sat to the left of me. He wasn't cute, but I was bored and getting drunk. I had absolutely nothing better in the world to do than sit there and get drunk. I didn't have my kids, or hubby, I had no place I needed to be in the morning, and B wasn't calling me back. So I ordered another Grey Goose and Red Bull and chatted up the guy to my left.  I wasn't attracted to him AT ALL, I was just bored. He must've thought otherwise, cuz next thing I knew, we were in the elevator together. My floor was the 3rd, and his was the 5th, but i realized he got out with me and was walking to my room. I don't think I'd been this drunk in ages! What a shame about B. I was really disappointed. But I had a new problem--this guy was sitting on the edge of my bed and somehow I'd stupidly given him my phone number!! I was in a drunken haze and thankfully he was a gentleman and finally left after I thwarted one of his kisses.  I ignored his texts about what he wanted to do to me--"I can come back!"--bleh!!! and passed out. 

Yes, I woke up with a terrible hangover. I also woke up to realize my friend was dead. This thought sobered me up.  My phone had a zillion text messages waiting for me about her and I had new info that she was indeed still alive, albeit in a coma. She was on life support awaiting the possibility of her donating her organs. This was so upsetting. WTF happened to her??!! More questions than answers. She was in a hospital about 3 hours away--I was tempted to drive there but for what? She was in a coma, and they were planning on taking her off life support. I didn't really know her that well and I didn't really belong there.  I went and spent the entire day and evening with my parents and family there in LA.

When I got back to my hotel room around midnight, again I freshened up and went downstairs to the bar. Too late!! They had already closed!! So all dressed up and nowhere to go, I went back to my room and texted Mickey. He responded right away--he was at work and bored. I told him what happened to my friend, how I was in LA alone and how I had wanted to go see him in Oregon but that he waited to long to tell me if he wanted me to come or not and now tickets were like $700 so I couldn't go. I decided to have some fun and tried on a sexy dress and heels I'd brought to wear to go see B--and started taking pictures of myself in the mirror.

Mickey loved them! I took about 25 pics in various poses--in the gorgeous dress and heels--"you look amazing!!" Mickey gushed--and then stripped for him, one click at a time. It was so fun. Sexy and fun and he was full of compliments. I finally got so turned on I got in bed and had to make myself climax. All that pent-up sexual frustration from B standing me up. I fell asleep happy, feeling like Mickey was back in my life--that he'd never left. I wonder if his GF has her own version of their relationship and he has HIS own. He texted me he was looking for a new roommate....so....does she live with him or not?? What's with the whole "domestic partnership" thing?? I really don't know. He's too busy to talk to me. Or involved with her. Who knows. I was lonely and bored and feeling rejected and somehow Mickey always comes through for me when I need him.

The next night I was alone too, no plans. B finally called me again and made up some sort of lame excuse and said very sweetly and sincerely that he would 'make it up to me". Whatever. It's been 2 weeks and still haven't heard a peep.

The next day, my last day in LA, my BFF met me at my hotel and we spent like 14 hours shopping, eating, walking on the pier, watching the surfers and the seagulls, talking and talking and talking. It was so wonderful. I even decided to commemorate the day by getting a tattoo and I ended up doing just that!!

The black cloud of our friend's eventual death Saturday morning got darker when we found out she'd taken her life. My only vacation in a year to have this horrible news turned my weekend into a spiritual awakening of sorts. I felt so alive back in the fresh air and great weather and vowed to figure out a way to get back there. Also, one knows what Erica meant to me and my hubby. No one can ever know. It's a secret she obviously took to her grave and we'll take to ours. So very very sad.

                    *************************************************************

I am done with B and the Irish guy and all the ones who just don't show up. I promptly got back on the website and found a new hottie! His name is the same as my hubby's and we have been sexting heavily. Two nights in a row now he's made a video for me---if you know what I mean---and sent them to me. Get this--he actually lives 15 minutes away and has been begging to come see me!! I told him sorry, gotta meet you in public first. I'm all about first impressions. I will know ASAP if he's someone who's going to get my panties off.

I am really excited!! Thursday's the day!!!

What a week. 

        

The sex is gonna be so awesome....

If you've read that last post of mine, you have a good idea of how I feel about Mickey right now. So--it should go without saying that I did NOT buy a plane ticket to see him. I don't know if I wrote about it, but about 3 days ago, I got tired of waiting for him to respond about the fact that I'd (lied) and said "flights are so cheap, I bought I ticket to come see you. Even if all we do is have dinner. " Never heard anything, so I poked him and sent a text that said, "So, what's up for next weekend?" He wrote back immediately; said, "what do you mean?" guess he forgot what I'd said a week earlier. (maybe his GF saw it and deleted it, who knows) but anyway, I wrote again that flights were cheap and that I bought a ticket to come see him, even if only for dinner. He responded, "so you want to fly up here for dinner?" I answered back, "well, I'd like more but yeah." He wrote, "Err, I just don't think it's worth it for you to do that." I said,"I can't imagine flying all the way to the west coast and not seeing you. I miss you and I'd love to see you." Never heard back.

Now, dear readers, remember this is before the revelation of a three-year anniversary celebration. For all I knew at that moment, he was single, or maybe seeing someone, cuz he never mentioned HER. Of course, I knew about her, cuz of her Twitter. But I figured it's his burden not mine. He has cheated on her before with me so why would this be any different--he said he wasn't in love, wasn't serious, she owed him money. So I thought I'd go see him.

Since I never heard from him, I didn't actually buy a ticket, and when I went to, they were astronomical. $700 round trip to go 700 miles. Forget it. I was so disappointed; but now I'm thankful. Because knowing what I know now, he really only had two choices--cheat on her, or ditch me. And let's face it, ditching me is a whole lot easier. He really doesn't want me to come. He told me himself, and I quote, "I wouldn't get to spend a whole night with you like I want." So, he wants me to come some OTHER time, God knows when, so we can spend a whole night together. Well, forget it. I'm done. He wants me? He can fucking come see me. And pay for it himself.

On a good note, B has been calling me and we are seeing each other right after I get off the plane tomorrow!! He's so sexy and slutty. I don't know what his thing is about getting me pregnant but he's so persistent. My BFF saw his new commercial and she was drooling over him. "Damn girl!! That's your "B"??? WOWZA!!" She was very impressed. I can't wait to see him. I love his smile, love his body, and love the way he stares into my eyes and is so sweet and gentle. MMMMM yummy!!

I'll write details when I get back. I'm hoping he'll let me take a couple of body pics since he wouldn't let me take any face pics last time. Probably worried I'll go to the National Enquirer or something LOL I'd never do that!!! I just want a pic of us together, just for me.

Ciao my beautiful readers, hope you all have a safe and sexy weekend as well!

Love,
Anna XO

My vibrator and I give Mickey a show he'll never forget

"You're soooooo pretty!!" Mickey cooed into the phone to me, gazing at me onscreen with somewhat sad puppy dog eyes. We were on yahoo messenger this morning, both on our webcams, and neither of us could stop smiling. It was so wonderful seeing his face again, after such a long time, and he clearly was happy to see mine as well.

The familiar chime on my iPhone woke me up about 3 minutes before my alarm was set to go off. "Hey", Mickey texted. We chatted off and on for about an hour while I got my kids off to school. Happily he said, "want to get on webcam?" and I decided right then and there that this offer was better than my plans to hit the gym, so I said, "Sure! Gimme 10 minutes. I want to look good for you." I turned on my curling iron and put on a little bit of makeup, found a sexy red lacy nightgown that showed off my breasts (Mickey's favorites) and I was online.

The minute I saw his face I started smiling. He was smiling too. It was wonderful. Like no time had passed. He looked as hot as ever, his long black hair all disheveled around his face, his lip ring dangling ever so teasingly, his full-sleeve tattoos so colorful and sexy. He was wearing a black T-shirt, and I was just salivating. Then he moved his laptop so I could see better--and he had his cock and balls peeking out from his underwear, these "tighty-whitey" undies in green and blue. I was shocked and laughed and wrote, "very hot!" He laughed and tucked them back in.

We wrote to each other as we gazed nervously at each other. I suggested Skype since on that webcam you can talk to each other. I told him I wanted to hear his voice. He couldn't remember his Skype name (yay, means he hasn't been using it with some other girl). I saw him pick up his phone, and I was tempted to write, 'who are you calling?" cuz that's really bad ettiquette--to be on webcam and call someone else. I was miffed instantly, until I heard his song, "Mickey" by Toni Basil start playing. He was calling ME!! haha (joke was on me!) I looked at my phone and sure enough, there was his face, the pic I'd chosen, and his name.

I answered in my best Lauren Bacall voice, a husky, "hey you", and he sounded just as sexy back. It was so wonderful, hearing his voice again. I told him so. He said all the right things again, just as always. After a few minutes he pulled out his cock again and started touching himself. He said, "show me those beautiful tits of yours", so I pulled down the red straps to my nightgown and gave him a little glimpse. Teasing him. He rubbed himself watching and yeah, I was getting very turned on! The whole time this was going on, he was talking to me, telling me how much he wanted me to come see him. He said, "I'm off work on Mondays and Tuesdays, and if you come then I'll get to spend the whole night with you." I smiled inside and out and said I'd see what I could do. Hubby travels a lot with work and the kids have school weekdays so not sure but I'd see what I could arrange. He told me, "Just give me a date." I said I'd let him know. I told him I hadn't bought a plane ticket yet so I'd check and see what I could do.

He also told me he was in trouble of being fired. That poor guy has issues, for sure, but he's always been a good worker. He's had this job like 6 years, so I asked him what's going on. He said, "they're douchebags!" and didn't want to talk about it. I let it go. He just wanted to focus on me.

He kept asking me, "when are you coming here?" lol then I broached the subject that was lingering in the air---what about his GIRLFRIEND?!?! He said, "let's not go there right now", so I laughed and said, "ok". I said, "I know you're not in love with her. You told me so." He said, "you're right, I'm not." I said, 'You're in love with me!" Now he has NEVER used the "L" word with me, and no, he didn't, but he did say, "yeah, that's it", so that made me happy! He said he wants to come visit me and plans to. He said, "I just might move in with you." I said, "really???" ecstatically and he said, "yeah, and it might be soon if they fire me." I said, "don't tease me!" which made him laugh. He was obviously in pain and in his own weird way was reaching out for sympathy, to be understood and heard. He knows I will give it to him.

He asked to see more of me, and I obliged. He was very complimentary and kept gently telling me what he wanted me to do, and what he wanted to do to me when I come to visit. He also asked where my hubby was several times, and that sometime he wanted to watch us both having sex. I told him, 'sure! that would be fun!" Since he has seen it in person I'm sure he'd like to watch us again. He said he wants to DP me with my hubby. I've never done that with anyone, not really crazy about the idea but said for him I'd try it. I trust them both to be gentle and to stop if I asked them to. So, WTF, I told him yeah, that would be ok. It was all fantasy right now anyway. Then he slipped off his undies and was just in his T-shirt. I said, 'Take off your T-shirt!" and he refused! I was like, WTF? Ok whatever! I said I want to see your chest. I love all your tats, I want to see them. He giggled and said, 'no, I've gained a few pounds", so I respected that. LOL Even though I couldn't see a trace of fat anywhere. He looked the same to me.

He asked if I had any toys. Yep of course I do! I told him, and went to get a vibrator. I grabbed the first one I found, and the batteries were dead LOL and we both laughed. I used it anyway, and he said he wanted to watch me come. And of course, since we were on the phone together, he heard all my heavy breathing and panting, and he stroked his cock harder and harder as I got more and more excited. Which I did for him, right there on camera. I've never done THAT before for anybody! It was so exciting. OMG I was splayed out on my bed, legs spread, back arched and stroking myself with a purple vibrator and watching him stroking his cock, watching me, holding the phone with his other hand, and that gaze in his eyes, very sexy. Since the batteries were dead I had to work that thing back and forth but it worked, I had a huge orgasm right there on camera for my Mickey. He loved it. I was a bit embarrassed afterward but he thanked me and kept telling me how much he loved it and couldn't wait to be with me.

After a few more minutes, he said he had to go. I said I did too, and I blew him a kiss onscreen for him and said goodbye. He was looking right at me and smiled, and gave me a "bye" in that sexy, breathy voice of his.  I don't know if the GF came in the room or what. After I clicked "off", I could still see him onscreen, and he kept stroking his cock for about a minute then turned off the camera. He didn't come, and that was disappointing, but oh well. It was still awesome.

I can't believe what that boy does to me. I'm old enough to be his mom, AND his girlfriend's mom. He's 27 and she's 20. But he doesn't see me that way. I'm a woman, a REAL woman, and he knows I'm crazy about him.

I think I'm going to be smiling a lot today.

Finding happiness in the middle of the night

Long after I'd gone to sleep two nights ago, I hear the familiar chime on my iPhone on my nightstand. It's Mickey. FINALLY. He's on yahoo messenger at long last, and writes me his usual, "what's up?" like a whole month hasn't passed but just a few days.

How I longed for the strength to ignore him. I laid there in the dark, staring at his user name, and his words, but I was too happy and relieved to have any sort of resolve. I wrote him back immediately, "hey sexy man, where've you been?" Thanks to my detective work (called Google) I knew I wasn't going to take any excuses.

He started in with his usual, "busy". I said, 'Bullshit". Ok, I actually didn't say that, but I wanted to. That's what I was thinking. I ignore it and asked if he'd gotten a phone yet--knowing full well he did. Yeah, he said. I asked him what hasn't he called or texted me? Had he changed his number? He said no, same number. I said I'd texted and called him and no response. He said simply, "my GF  gets mad." Hmmm.

Since he doesn't actually talk in complete sentences on yahoo messenger, I ask them and wait for answers. I was bold and pretty straightforward. Even though I'd been sound asleep moments earlier. The gist of his situation is this--he's back and forth with the same GF he'd cheated on with me that fateful June 25th day in that hotel room way back when I first started this blog!! Two years ago? Three? I can't even remember. Yes, same girlfriend.

I asked him if he was happy with her. He said, "comes and goes." WOW isn't he descriptive? What the hell does that mean??! So I poked and prodded him. Because I always feel that every single encounter with him could be the last. I try to get as much out of him every time JUST IN CASE.

He teased me back.  He said, "you'll be sad when I get married." So I said, "why is that?" hahaha I used to say things like, "oh, I know, I don't know how I'll handle it." But not now. He has worn me down. 

He didn't answer. So I said next, "So! When's the wedding?" and I was about to say, "so I can send my gift" but he quickly answered, "LOL I'm not getting married!" I've been down this road with him before and I know it will come one day. And no, I am not prepared, and yes, he's right, I WILL be sad. I'll be more than that though--I'll be distraught.

But I didn't want to tell him that. So I started teasing him back. I said, "Marry me". He said, "but you're already married." I said, "So I can marry you too. The three of us. I'll be faithful to you and my hubby."

He was like, hmmm, what do I say to that?? He just said, "How would that work?" and I said, "very well actually! You'll get everything you want. Emotionally, financially, in every way." I could tell he was intrigued.

I teased him further to show I wasn't jealous. I told him I didn't mind sharing him as long as he was in my life. I said he could date others even if I was faithful to him. He was just floored. He said, "are you trying to bribe me?" and I said, " Hey, whatever works!!" lol

I then said, "I'll be your GF is cute. Is she into girls? Let's have a 3sum!" He said, 'No, no, that part of my life with you is separate from her." boo hoo I said too bad LOL I told him I had a boyfriend in LA and that I'm going to see him in a few weeks (B). He got jealous! Yay! I told him, "nah, I'm just going to see my parents. I want to stop and see you" So we talked about me getting a posh hotel room near him and him coming to see me. He truly wants to, I know he does, but he is "trying to be a good boy" so I'm not planning on going to see him now.

That did lead to an interesting conversation about non-monogamy, and how it doesn't work for us or most people, although they won't admit it. I said, "do you think for a second your GF doesn't have the hots for other guys? Of course she does, but she can't tell you, just like you can't tell her about me." OH I forgot to tell you!!! I asked him about the card I sent. "What card?" was his response. I told him about it, and then asked, "does your GF get your mail?" he said yes, I said, "Well, that explains why you never got it. I'm certain she intercepted it." He said nothing.

So....anyway...he's still online, 2 days later, and writing me all the time again. Why now? What has changed?? Nothing, he's still involved with her. But I did tell him, "you always come back to me." After a long pause, he said, "you're right, I do." 

So we'll see where this goes. My heart has hardened and I'm tougher than I used to be. I get him now, like I never got him before, and I actually feel sorry for his girlfriend, because he has broken her heart so many times (I know from her poetry I found online--thank you again Google) and he will break it again. I don't know if I want him that badly anymore. We should both dump him!!!

Damn it's those blue eyes, those dimples, that sexy voice and the way he makes us feel.

Fuck.

Skype sex with a new hottie!

Hello my wonderful readers, I'm sorry it's been like 3 weeks since I've written. The kids are out of school for the summer and I can't get a moment's privacy! I like to write first thing in the morning when the coffee kicks in. I'm finally having some time to myself so of course my first thought is, BLOG!!!

Since I wrote last, I have not heard from either Jake OR Mickey. I have not tried to contact Jake--I'm leaving him 100% alone. His band will be playing a gig here this Friday! Hubby and I got tickets and we're going to see him. I'm determined to meet him after the gig face to face. Of course I know it will be awkward, especially with my hubby there, and I'm certain nothing will come of it, but you know me, I never do what I'm supposed to do. I'm sure I will get hurt again and wish I hadn't seen him, but I can't seem to help myself. I do miss him and I know he'll be polite at least.

I don't know what the fuck is up with Mickey. I don't know why he contacts me out of the blue, tells me he misses me, and then disappears. It's as if he's off the face of the planet. He isn't online, he isn't texting or answering his phone when I call. I know he said he was struggling when he texted last, and he'd mentioned getting rid of his phone. He's got a good job--I can't imagine why he can't afford Internet or his phone. SO.......I assume he doesn't want to talk to me again. He makes me crazy. But the good thing is, I don't obsess over him anymore. It is REALLY a relief. I can stand back and say, well, there goes Mickey, doing his crazy thing again, playing cat and mouse, and not take it personally. Whether or not he responds to my texts, or says what I need him to say, do NOT dictate my moods anymore. It is such a relief.
                                                          
                                                         *************
The best cure for heartbreak is a new guy, and I had this really cute blonde 19 year old writing me on my dating website. I hadn't written him since I was all caught up in Jake. He was persistent though, and I was ripe for a new lover, so I wrote him back. He gave me his phone number and we started texting. What I loved most about Danny is that he always texted back immediately!! And I decided I'd play harder to get....I seem to keep getting attached too easily and so decided to let him court me. I just adore him. The best part was, he did what no other guy, even Jake, would do---for example, I was at work one day, and I got a text from him that said he was in his (college) physics class and was thinking about me! How wonderful is THAT???!! I enjoyed that so so much. He went on to tell me how beautiful he thinks I am, can't wait to get me naked, etc. and we sent sexy pics to each other. While he's sitting in class! That was so fun. OH! And I forgot to mention he's an Abercrombie model! He said his picture is up in their stores all over the country! (guess who's going to the mall soon!)

He lives near Jake in the big city, and wanted to scope me out before he drove out here, so he asked if I had Skype. I didn't, but it was easy to get on there and before I knew it, there he was! OMG what a fucking hottie! He's a swimmer, and he took off his pants and boxers, right there on camera, and put his speedo on! OMG he's hung like a horse and gorgeous to boot. Of course it got very nasty after that--he began stroking himself and of course I started teasing him and took of my clothes one at a time for him too. It was so fun--unlike yahoo messenger, you don't have to type to talk to each other, you just talk! So we got along great. Before the clothes came off we chatted for about an hour, and before I knew it, he'd made himself cum all over himself, and it was 3 am!! We'd been online for three hours! It was awesome. He giggled afterward, and we both agreed we'd passed the test for attractiveness! So, we made plans for him to possibly come see me in two days, last Friday. I told him I'd get a hotel room. We said our goodnights with sexy plans to do all those nasty things in person.

I haven't heard from him since.

WTF here we go again??? What did I do wrong???

I knew he had plans to go to Magic Mountain with a buddy. He'd told me right up when we were Skyping, and who knows, maybe that was just a lie.  So he texted me Friday afternoon, simply, "hey, I am really not going to be able to make it up tonight sorry :(" I responded, It's ok sexy man! I kinda figured since ur having a big day lol". no response. Later that same night I wrote, "I hope we can meet soon" no response. The next morning I wrote, "HI sexy man", still nothing.

Hmmm so it's been a whole weekend and not a peep out of him. WTF I guess I messed up again.

So back to square one.

WTF

Another one bites the dust--and Mickey sniffs around again

About 3 days after our sexy weekend,  Jake stopped texting me. I don't know what I did wrong. Here we go again. Same situation, different guy. WTF!?!?!?! I'm so sick of this.  GUYS LISTEN UP OUT THERE----TELL US THE TRUTH.

Or give us a gentle lie. Here are the reasons I've come up with why Jake doesn't want anything to do with me again:

1. He's found someone else. (she's younger, cuter, funnier, dresses better, etc.)
2. He's starting to fall for me and it can't go anywhere cuz I'm married
3. I said something I shouldn't have (told him I missed him)
4. I did something I shouldn't have (texted him)
5. He saw me as a piece of ass. (and I saw him as something more)


There are a lot more choices but they're so pathetic I can't bring myself to write them. It's bad enough how much I've beaten myself up over it. I have been in a funk ever since. I can't even listen to music lately--every song just seems to get on my nerves.

Here's what I know--like a detective trying to solve a case--he told me I was the best he'd ever had. He said it sincerely. (he's only 18---I believed him!) And as great as the sex was, it was the way he held me all night long that did it for me. I've never been with a guy that liked to cuddle all night long the way he did. It was tender. It wasn't a 'wham-bam-thank you ma'am" at all.

I bought tickets to see his band in concert. We were chatting about it. Then he stopped texting. I didn't think anything of it. Then a day later, I wrote, "the weather is so dreary today--wish I was back in bed with you :)". No response. I waited a WEEK to text back! (I was so proud of myself!) I wrote, simply, "Hi sexy". No response. I waited about 10 hours, then wrote, "I miss you...are we ok?" still no response.

The next day I composed myself and wrote, "Hi Jake, hey I don't know if your phone isn't working or you just don't want to talk to me. So I just want you to know I'm glad I met you. You made me feel things no one has ever made me feel." Then, "You opened up my heart and I was starting to really feel something for you. I honestly hope to see you again." I thought, and waited, no response. 15 min later my closing statement--"And I wish I knew what you were thinking. When I drove away I thought things were fine."

That was a week ago.

I've cried so much over him, it really caught me by surprise. I realize the good that's come out of it, and I don't regret him at all. I am completely over Mickey, who, by the way, texted me at 6 am today out of the blue. Said he misses me like hell. I think he fell asleep cuz he stopped texting but the difference is I DON'T HONESTLY CARE ANYMORE. It's a great feeling. I'm free from Mickey. I don't think he can hurt me again. I'm too wrapped up in Jake.

I guess it's not Jake I miss so much, he's merely the messenger. I got the best sex of my life, and I felt loved. For that night, I was loved. He loved me the only way he knows how, with his body. He can't give me any more. And I want more. Nearly 20 years I've been married, and I got something from someone else I've never had. It was amazing.

My self-esteem has taken such a beating though. I can't help but pick apart everything I said, looking for the "deal breaker", as Dr. Phil would say. Something I said, or did, caused him to say or feel, "that's a deal breaker. I'm done with her." BUT WTF WAS IT?????

I swear, whatever I've thought of can't be worse than what it was. I know I didn't fart. I'm a great lover. He told me so. We had 2 amazing nights together. I know he was smitten with me. He told me he told his friends about me. So, where did it all go wrong??

Well, I'll probably never know.

But I have a new fantasy.

His band is going on tour. They have 17 gigs this month. I am NOT texting him (not even tempted actually--I can't take being ignored). We have tickets to his concert July 1st. I"m going to look amazing, and go up to see him afterward. He will be happy to see me, I know he will. And who knows--he may get lonely on tour. He told me he's not excited about being cooped up with his bandmates in dinky motel rooms for a month.

I'm going to give him a chance to miss me. Maybe he will, maybe he won't. If I was truly the best he'd ever had, and if he was getting feelings for me too, he will miss me. And he will contact me. If not, I will just show up after his concert and say hi.  Maybe he will be wondering, as he sits alone in those motel rooms, "did she buy tickets? Is she coming to see me?" and maybe, just maybe, he'll text me. I'm hoping he will. It's my favorite fantasy, I think about it constantly.

And at 7:45 am today (5:45 Mickey's time), I was dropping my daughter off at school when I got a text. From Mickey. It's been since May 20th since I last heard from him. Took him 3 weeks to miss me, but miss me he does. I was happy to see his name pop up on my screen. I just sat and looked at it, and smiled. We wrote back and forth for about 15 min and then he stopped texting. At least this time I don't really care if he writes back or not. I absolutely love how he doesn't have the power to hurt me right now. Does this mean I'm really over him??? After 6 years?? Yes, I think it does. And it's a wonderful feeling. I can enjoy his attention but I don't need it anymore.

I'm back on the dating website, and I'm juggling like 6 guys right now. Not that I want to. It's that they show interest, we exchange pics, and 90% of them turn out to look nothing like their profile pics, or they live too far, or "how about next week?" so whatever. Right now really the only one I want to hear from is Jake but it ain't happening, so I'm looking for my next lover.

I'll let you know what Mickey does next. I invited him to come visit me. I'm not holding my breath.

An amazing night in Jake's arms

     We had just gotten to my room, a $500 a night, 5-star hotel in downtown Chicago. Standing next to the bed in my $500 BCBG dress, with nothing on underneath but white, lacy panties, and Michael Kors heels, I was fiddling around with my iPhone and the hotel's iDock, trying to find some music to set the mood. Jake came up behind me and put his warm hands softly on my shoulders and stroked my arms. Pushing my hair to one side, he began nibbling my neck, and I began to melt. He unzipped my dress and being that it was a halter-dress, he undid the bow at the neck and continued to kiss my neck. I allowed myself to melt into his touch, his warm hands, and let him show his affection for me.

     The halter-dress didn't allow for a bra, and Jake quickly discovered this delicious fact as his hands found my naked breasts as the dress fell forward off my body. As it fell, I stepped out of it and he slipped my panties down my bare, tanned legs, and I slipped them off my feet. I tossed my phone down, not giving a shit anymore about music, and saw that he was shirtless,  just in his jeans. He looked beautiful. He was young and sexy, skinny and sporting a new heart tattoo on the front of his right shoulder. The dim yellow light from the vibrant city shining on him, I saw his sweet face and warm smile. I was filled with desire for him and felt my heart racing as my hands touched the soft skin of his chest. He pulled me close and kissed me hungrily, his tongue searching for mine. I felt my blood hot through my whole body. I was on fire. I literally succumbed to my desire for him and let him do whatever he wanted to me. With me, for me, to me. I gave myself to him.

     I don't remember how or when his jeans came off, he was just suddenly naked, laying on his back on one of the two beds in the hotel room. He looked scrumptious. I was so hungry for him. I didn't know where to begin, and neither did he, we wanted each other so badly.

     Over the next three hours, we made love in every position I can think of. We just couldn't get enough of each other. He is so tender, so sweet. He's huge, 10 inches, and he kept saying how much he loved how "tight" my pussy was. It was also too small to hold all 10 inches of him! He'd be very tender, not thrusting too hard. He'd go in gently every time, making sure it didn't hurt and that I was ok. Then we'd fuck like crazy rabbits. We just kept going. I couldn't believe he could go for so long without coming, but he did. And he was rock-hard the whole time. I wasn't getting tired, my desire for him was so strong.

     We fucked every which way imaginable. Doggy-style, reverse cow-girl. Me on top, him on top. Against the wall. At the edge of the bed. 69. But my favorite was this spooning position, him entering from behind me, with his arms wrapped around me tight. I absolutely loved being held like that while he fucked me. I felt so loved. It was warm and amazing. Little did I know it was only going to get better.

     He always asked if I was ok. He was always gentle, even when we were going at it. We were so sweaty, the sheets were soaked, but we were so into each other we hardly noticed. He loved the way I gave him oral, and I loved how he'd sweetly show me or tell me the way he liked me to do it for him. He is so emotionally mature for being only 18. Did I forget to tell you he's only 18?? He's 18 and amazing. With an old soul I believe, for he's mature beyond his years. Calm, thoughtful, affectionate, passionate, tender and a gentleman.
.
     He was surprised to hear me tell him that it was a night of "firsts". I'd never had another man bring me to orgasm---with as many lovers as I've had (except for the girls--they know how to touch a girl!) no other guy but my hubby has ever made me orgasm! And he did!! YAY!!! I was so happy! It was so easy to let go with him. I am so comfortable with him, he is like a second skin to me. The Yin to my Yang. I fall into his spell so easily.

I'll never forget it. He was touching me, touching my clit, just the way I love to be touched. As I was moaning and squirming, he was breathing on my neck, getting as excited as I was. I've never had a guy do what he started to do--comment on it! It was soooo sexy. He said, "Ooo, I feel your legs tightening up." You're squirming, it feels good, doesn't it?" "You're breathing harder, you're almost there, aren't you?" he was an amazing lover! and yes, I did come, and he was so happy, I could feel how happy he was to bring me to a climax, he held me close while I was writhing and we rode the rollercoaster of ecstasy together. I'd never, ever, ever, had that with anyone else.

     Another first was spending the whole night with him. Even with Mickey, I'd never actually spent a whole night with anyone else. And you know what? After he came (after 3 amazing hours), we laughed and were glad we had another bed to sleep on! The other one was soaked. We were giggling about it.  We got into the clean, unused bed to sleep. I had gone to go to the bathroom, and when I came back he had on his jeans (guess he hadn't worn any boxers....). So I put on a sexy blue lace matching panties and bra and got into bed with him.

     He laid on his back, and put his arm around me. I laid close to him, smelling how sexy he smelled (I could still smell his cologne too). He is so affectionate. We chatted a little bit, but I didn't want to be annoying. I know guys want to fall asleep after sex and women like to talk, so I was cognizant of that fact. Somewhere in-between chatting, we fell asleep, but I remember telling him that I would probably push him away cuz I didn't like to be touched while I slept.

     Was I ever wrong about that!

     Jake held me close ALL NIGHT LONG. He never stopped holding me.

     It was the most amazing night's sleep I've ever had. Several times I'd awaken, and I'd say, 'Do you want your arm back?" and he'd say sweetly, "no, I'm good". No matter what position I'd move into, he'd mold his body to mine, and hold me tight. I felt so-o-o-o-o loved, so adored. I never wanted to leave him.
Spooning he snuggled his head right into my neck, his arms holding me tightly. Whichever position---cuddling, facing him, snuggled into his armpit, it was heaven. His long arms held me close the whole night long. He never let go, and I never wanted him to.

     In the morning, I woke up early, 8:22 in fact. I had a 2 hr drive ahead of me and knew my hubby and kids would want me home, so I left my Jake's warm embrace to go shower. He slept the whole time, and when I emerged, clean and clean smelling, hair and makeup all done, I found him still in bed and kissed him. Damn he looked sexy. I wanted him to shower and make love to me again. Neither of us had eaten but I didn't care. I wanted him again, even though I was so sore. He declined showering, and I wasn't really sure what he wanted to do. I really wanted him to shower so we'd both be clean and start fresh, so I was kind of like, hmmm, not sure if I'm attracted to you right now, and he wasn't telling me what he wanted,  so I decided to just go home.

     He'd taken the train, so I just drove him to the train station, which was like a 10 minute drive. I wasn't done with him. I hadn't wanted to leave our bed. Why do I have such trouble knowing what I want sometimes? I was eager to get home and not eager. I didn't know when I'd see him again and that made it all the harder. He wasn't talking either, didn't really give an opinion either way, so that wasn't helping. I know he was just allowing me to make the decisions since I had a husband and family to get back to and he had no plans, I get that now. But I wish he'd said something like, 'gee, I really wish we'd cuddle longer", or "let's have one more go-round"--something like that. He gave me a quick hug and kiss, and he was gone. I turned around several times to wave goodbye but couldn't see him once he left my car. I was instantly sad and lonely for him.

     About a half hour into my drive home, I burst into tears. I missed his touch so badly. Thinking about the way he held me all night long. I haven't felt that needed and loved in so long, and I was aching to feel him again. I realized I have intimacy problems, and he's just the guy to break down my walls.

I'm totally falling for him.

Mickey who???