Sexy skaterboy is back

Hello all my sexy readers! How are you all doing??? I am sure you are all having way more sex than I am these days. Yep, me and the hubby are still in a funk. It sucks. And it seems the cuties are coming out of the woodwork too. 

I got a random "hey" text from someone I had forgotten; someone I haven't met but have previously exchanged lots of sexts from. I'll call him Damien. He is 26 and lives in Chicago and OMG what a hottie!! Cute skaterboy. Wears his ballcap sideways and his jeans low. I swear I should crop out his face and post his pic with his sexy body for you so you don't think I'm making this shit up.

I have gotten some more sexy pics from Jake as well. Two sexy Chicago boys and who knows when the fuck I'll ever hook up with them??? The whole "open marriage" thing is off the table right now and we can't even talk about it. My H is out of town for work and yeah, I could go and fuck these two hotties and not tell him like he did to me but I'm not that kind of person. So how is it he was...? It's maddening. No wonder we are stuck.

I miss my old life. I miss my sexy young hotties. I miss the way they made me feel. I can't in good conscience go and fuck them now. I deleted my Adult Friend Finder profile and my Cougarlife. They are GONE. I don't miss them...but I met both my Chicago boys on them so I know it was good for me there for awhile.

Sigh.

Enjoy the pics! Have a great day lovers.

Anna XOXOX

Why I took my pic down

Ironically, the same day I posted "My slutty afternoon...", I happened to get a text from a guy I've been chatting with that I met on the dating website, "do you know a woman named (blank)?" I texted him back, 'uh, no, why?" and he said, "well she sure seems to know you. And she had some choice words for you." WTF??!! And he proceeded to tell me she said this about me, and I quote, "...it is a known fact that she is a slut." Ironic huh?! The same day I posted that blog post. Just a couple days ago. Guess I started chatting with a guy who knows someone who knows someone who knows me. And he's been talking about me to her. Great. Fucking great.

So, of course, I freaked out. Fucking fucking freaked out. I looked her up on Facebook and we have a mutual friend. Great. Fucking great. So, either this mutual friend (a guy that used to work at the gym, we are more" aquaintances" than friends) is talking smack about me, or she found my blog. For the record, she looks familiar, but he insists she doesn't go to the gym I go to so I don't think I know her.

I have Googled my blog to see if it can be found, and I've been able to so far keep it discreet. But I freaked out anyway and took my picture off. I couldn't even sleep that whole night, trying to figure out how this chick knows me and why she'd say that about me.

You my dear readers know I'm a swinger, and yes, I love sex. And they are many definitions of the word "slut"-I just looked them up LOL---anywhere from meaning a woman who loves sex to a woman who will have sex with anything that moves. SO......what did she mean by that?! What has she learned about me from this mutual "friend"??!! So yeah, if being a slut means, "a woman who loves sex or has multiple partners", yes, I'm a slut. But how would someone who doesn't even know me think that about me?!

I'm taking her comment to mean someone who'll sleep with anyone and anything, and has no couth. I am extremely selective (I've had 3 lovers in the whole year I've lived here!). And I have not done anything at ALL with anyone at the gym or any of my co-workers. I've been very discreet--only dating guys I've met on the dating site. No one who knows any of my friends or anyone in my circle. So for her to call me a slut, or to think that our mutual friend has said stuff about me, well, after I had my freak-out I calmed down and realized that maybe it's made-up shit on her part. She has nothing on me---UNLESS SHE FOUND THIS BLOG. THAT HAD MY PICTURE ON IT.

I have been very comfortable with all of you seeing me and getting to know me through this blog. I feel more real to complete strangers because as a group, if you're reading my blog, you are probably in the lifestyle too and realize how dangerous a game it is we play. Friends and family, if they were to find out about our secret lives, would ruin us. Isn't it fucked how the world works?? It's more socially acceptable to cheat on your wife or husband than to invite another lover into your bed with their permission.

I decided I'm finished talking to this loose-lipped guy, and also to just let it go for now. I honestly can't think of any reason someone who doesn't even know me would say such a thing about me. I have been very discreet, so maybe she's just jealous. I have no idea. But I think I need to be more careful, more discreet, because sadly, it's painfully obvious society can't handle women who love sex. I can't risk being found out. It's obvious my reputation is on its way to being tarnished and well, if it wasn't for me trying to protect my children and my husband's reputation, I wouldn't care what anyone thought of me. I have considered taking down this blog, but I won't for now. I need to to keep sane, but the thought of losing everything I have is more real now.

My Slutty afternoon--I'm still smiling

I knew the moment our eyes met that I wanted to go back to my place and fuck him. I was sitting at the bar of a nice Mexican restaurant that was pleasantly dim-lit and bustling with the typical business-man lunch crowd. I was uncomfortable enough sitting alone at a bar all dressed up and I noticed with all the guys staring at me. Even the busboys, all Hispanic, one-by-one kept making excuses to come up and see if I needed anything. I was bemused. I ordered a Grey Goose and sugar-free Red Bull. It was one o'clock in the afternoon. Mr-Same-Name-as-my-Hubby finally agreed to meet me--he suggested a Starbucks but I knew I needed a drink.  I was so nervous, horny and excited, and I felt like such a slut. I hoped I didn't run into anyone I knew.

I got there a little early to get my bearings. I was glad I did. I'd finished about half my vodka when Mr. Good Looking walked in. He spotted me right away. I smiled in relief when I saw him. He was definitely as cute as his pics. He was smaller than I imagined--about 5-9, small in stature but very good looking.  Short black hair, very blue eyes, a dimple in his chin and full sexy lips. Mmmmm. He was dressed in a nice blue suit, white dress shirt, and simple blue and black striped tie. Yum. 

I got up and gave him a welcome hug.  We were both smiling. I felt at ease with him instantly. He had a calm demeanor, and we seemed to click right away.  I was wearing a sexy black knit mini-skirt, black leggings, and 4-inch black velvet stillettos and a navy blue blouse that showed off my cleavage. I felt pretty good about my looks and I liked all the attention I was getting.  He sat down next to me and just ordered a glass of water. Conversation flowed easily; he seemed comfortable in his own skin and clearly a good listener as well as a speaker. He's a financial planner; very successful at only age 25. I was impressed but he talked in such a way that wasn't braggy. I really liked him.I could smell his cologne and I was getting so wet staring at his sexy mouth as he talked.

We chatted for about a half hour, and I felt like I could spend all day talking with him. BUT---we met later than I had planned (he'd had an appointment) and I had to work at 3:00 so I glanced at my iphone and saw that it was almost 2:00! I smiled and said, "well, we'd better get going if we're going to have any fun." He smiled and said, "Let's go!" He followed me in his brand-new Mercedes to my house. Thankfully, it was only a 10 minute drive. I couldn't wait to get that suit off of him.

I gave him a very brief tour of the main floor of my house, and he met my over-zealous dog and they liked each other instantly. I took this as a good sign.  Chatting about something, I don't remember what, I led him upstairs to my bedroom. To the bedroom I share with my husband, who shares the same name as him. We had less than an hour, but I knew it would be perfect.

I closed my bedroom door, and he was standing by my bed. He took off his jacket, and seeing that it was a very nice suit jacket, I offered to hang it up for him. He politely accepted. "To keep the dog hair off" I laughed. I went into my walk-in closet and hung it up for him, and when I came back, he was still completely dressed otherwise. I slowly loosened up his tie, which he then took off. I unbuttoned all the buttons on his dress shirt and loosened up his belt, and then I pulled him close to me and kissed him. Mmm I wanted him so badly and loved rubbing up against the hard cock in his pants. I love this part of lovemaking--the "just before" part. Where the desire is SO strong and you know what's ahead. The anticipation. I love to make it last.

He was so gentle, I felt instantly relaxed. I knew I could take charge with this guy. I was making out with him, fully clothed. It was electric. I remembered I had to get to work soon so we had to get busy. I loosened up his belt and unbuttoned the top button of his pants. He took them off and I got down to my lavendar panties and bra. He giggled about taking off his socks. With his T-shirt still on, I laid down on the bed and he climbed on top of me. We kissed and made out, but he was very passive. Not like my hubby or Mickey, who quickly grab and suck my breasts. He didn't even try to lick my pussy. (Maybe it was the time factor-if I get another chance with him we'll see).  He did finger me and played with my clit. Mmmm I wanted more. Damn job!!

We were laying now side-by-side, and I couldn't wait to put his hard cock in my mouth. I gave him the best BJ I'm sure he's ever had (hehe) and then reached over to my side table drawer and pulled out a condom. He tore it open and put it on--I do think that is incredibly sexy!--and I climbed on top of him and put that big dick inside me. He fucked me hard. Mr. Passive fucked me hard and after a 6-month dry spell (yes, Jake was my last other guy besides my hubby!) it felt so fucking good to fuck a new guy. I couldn't get enough. I didn't want to stop. I considered calling in sick to work right in the middle of fucking him. We went at it hard, changing positions, and just fucking, fucking, fucking. It was awesome. 

His body was small; like Mickey's, but his cock wasn't (just like Mickey's). Mmmm, maybe something will develop with this hottie and I can forget about Mickey once and for all.

As much fun as we were having, I needed him to cum so I could get to work! He knew it too and told me, "turn around". He wanted me doggy-style. He put his hands on my hips and fucked me harder than he had all afternoon; I was grabbing onto the comforter with both hands as tight as I could and screaming into it. It felt amazing. Sure enough, he came hard and grabbed me from behind and held me tight. After he pulled out, I took the condom off for him and went to the bathroom and flushed it. I came back and he was shaking. "Are you ok?" I asked him. "Yeah", he said, "That was awesome!" I told him yeah, it was, and that I was sorry I had to go so quickly. That I wish we had more time together. He agreed.

I went to get my dorky uniform, and he was putting his suit back on. Damn he looked hot. I love a good-looking guy in a suit--I love taking it off of them!! I grabbed my clothes and got dressed next to him. It was fun, I couldn't help but just watch him. It was sexy. His blue eyes really shone in the daylight sun coming through my bedroom windows.

We hurried downstairs and when we got to the door, I stopped and held him for a moment. I gave him a kiss and looked him in those blue eyes and said, "will I see you again?" and he said, "yes, definitely!" I said, "Oh good!" and we left. I had a smile all the way to work (btw I was 10 minutes late!) and I'm still smiling.

I have already undressed him in my mind...time to do it in person!

At one o'clock tomorrow I hope to be laying my eyes on my new boytoy face to face! I am so excited I can hardly stand it! He had cancelled our date last week and I was SO disappointed! Said he was sick. Tried again Thursday, same thing. I said I was free Friday night, and he just said he felt like staying home. Apologized and we have rescheduled for tomorrow. He lives only 15 minutes away and has been wanting to come over in the evening but I have my kids and hubby in the evenings, so maybe he's just timid, who knows. I am excited to meet him! He could be my new Mickey. If not him then.......I have someone ELSE who's REALLY interested and has been trying to get together with me! He lives about 100 miles away, not good, but he's really persistent AND young, he's 23 too, and very good looking. Great, hard body, long dark brown hair, yes, very long, past his shoulders and he looks like a rocker boy--tattoos, long thick hair. Young and very hot. I REALLY like him and every day he texts me, "come see me today". He is nice, not gross at all like some guys, I really hate too much sex talk with someone i haven't even met, it makes me feel gross and both these guys are sexy and complimentary without being gross.

I got a video from Mickey in the middle of the night last night! OMG it was better than the ones he usually sends, which are always him jerking off (which I love) but never his face. This one was of him, his beautiful face!!! He was shirtless, wearing that same knit cap he always wears, and it was a very short video. He was looking at the camera, and he said, "Does this look official? Cuz you've officially given me a boner." I saw it at like 4 am and I laughed out loud, it cracked me up. I fell back asleep and didn't write back till about 7 am (trying not to seem too desperate). I just said, "you look HOT!" and he wrote me back immediately! We sexted back and forth for a little while. I smiled all day.

My new guy I'm meeting tomorrow (who has the same name as my hubby!) said he will be "dressed in his work clothes." I was frightened LOL and had visions of steel-toed work boots and ugly coveralls. I asked him, 'What do you do?" and he said he's a financial planner and wears a suit tie!! YAY!!! He sent me 2 pics of him in a suit, one a black suit and one brown, and OMG what a handsome young stud!! I told him I can't wait to see him out of it!!! I get really turned on by a good-looking guy in a suit and tie. It's a huge turn on for me. I am already fantasizing about seeing him undress.....first the jacket comes off, and then I'l be able to see that huge bulge in his slacks. Very hot. Then he'll start to loosen his tie, and I'll start unbuttoning his dress shirt, and then as he takes off his tie I'm opening up his shirt with my hands and spread open the shirt to reveal a sexy, manly chest and softly touch it and start to kiss it. Mmmm, that's when I get a whiff of his cologne, and as he takes the shirt off, I'm already wet with anticipation. Then I undo his belt......unzip his zipper......OOOO I'm getting SOOO excited!!!

So I'm really hoping he shows up tomorrow and doesn't send me a lame text he can't make it. If he does, I'm driving to meet the other hottie.  BTW I will give these sexy men pen names if I meet them and bring them home with me. If I do, I'll be writing about it tomorrow night! Cross you fingers for me, your nasty  fingers people!!!!

time for a little contemplation...

Hello readers!!!  I welcome new readers and cherish my daily followers. I love to read your blogs as well and I always welcome your comments.

Since my hubby and I started this lifestyle, one of the things that's been the hardest is the secret factor. We have found we live in a sort of sexy bubble, and that very few people we've allowed inside. Friends we've told are usually in the lifestyle too, which is always a relief to be able to share this part of ourselves. We have told NO family, and honestly, with the exceptions of our lovers, only 5 people know. My two best GF's in the whole world and my hubby's best guy buddy he's known for over 20 years. And one other couple who we aren't intimate with (yet--wink wink). That's it. It's a very small circle.

Keeping this a secret can be challenging, especially with my cell phone. Even if it's on vibrate (ooohh) my kids have a knack for picking it up and saying, "mommy! Whos' Mickey?" and further, "who is 555-1212 and why do they keep calling you?" I have to be VERY careful.

Our worst fear, of course, isn't that the kids find out, it's that they suspect one of us is cheating on the other. We do agree that would be worse.

So--why don't we tell them??

We have been doing our research on that very subject. There is a great book we both just read tackling that subject--it's called "Love You Two" by Maria Pallotta-Chiarolli. It's a great work of fiction--the first of its kind actually, about a teenage daughter who stumbles across her mother's diary and finds out she has a male lover who is accepted by the father. It's a story of a teenage daughter's shock and hurt and confusion over this new information and how she deals with it. If affects her relationship with her mother of course. My biggest problem with the book is the father is rarely mentioned. He is just a silent, nodding-in-affirmation character with no voice. He never sits down and talks to her about his involvement or how it feels for him, and she doesn't really show any need to discuss it with him. All her emotion is directed at her mother. It is a good book in the way that I think her reactions are typical of what a teenager would do and feel.

We think our youngest would do fine. She's young enough, and she's actually said some interesting things to me from time to time that make me wonder if she somehow, on some level, already knows. For instance, we were at the beach a few weeks ago, and we were talking about her big brother (who's 16) and all the cute girls on the beach he'd like if he were with us. She said, "You should find a boyfriend Mommy!" I was like, "WTF??" So I said, "I'm married to your daddy sweetheart! I can't have a boyfriend too!" and she said, "Why not? You're hot and I see them stare at you!" OMG this came from my twelve-year-old!! I was perplexed. It would've been a perfect opportunity to tell her....only I was completely unprepared.

My Internet research has affirmed that the younger they find out, the easier it is for them to accept it. BUT--once they're in their teens, it really can be harmful and destructive. Emphasis on "can be"---all kids are different. It's something we think about all the time. In the meantime, we are just very careful.

When Mickey first came into our lives, our kids were very small. Our oldest was 8 and the youngest was 4. They went to bed at 10 and what we did after hours they didn't think to question. Weekend trips away? Yay! Fun with Grandma! It's so different now that they're older--they ask more questions--where did we go, who did we see? We have a great relationship with our kids--we are more open and honest with sex and we talk about everything--except our own sex lives.

Readers? I'm appealing to you. Those of you in the lifestyle with kids--how do you handle everything? Have you told your children, your parents, siblings, co-workers? Reactions? I'd really love to know.

Have a great day.
Love,
Anna XOXO

Same old shit, different day, different guy

Hello my wonderful readers! I hope you are all staying cool in this unbearable heat we've been having. UGH this California girl hates this humidity! BLEH!

Did I ever tell you about my crush on my BOSS???!! Yes, I have a little crush on my boss. I'm certain he feels the same way. He told me once how he remembers the first time he saw me--it was the dead of winter and my hubby and I had gone into the restaurant he bartends at in the afternoon one day. He remembered everything I was wearing, and said I looked "HOT"!! WOW I was amazed! My girlfriend says his whole face lights up whenever he sees me. He's 32, and just moved out and got his own place--he'd been living with his girlfriend.

We text work stuff all the time, boring, but we had a few little flirts the last couple weeks. We both play tennis, and he's been asking me to play him, and everytime we make a date to play one of us cancels. First it was me, then it was him, then there were no courts available, and now we have a tennis date for today!  I am looking forward to it! I get nervous when I know he's watching me and I want to impress of course--I don't want to play badly--but it should be filled with flirtations on both sides so I am excited. Thankfully tennis is one of those sports with totally cute outfits!! YAY!! And I curl my hair and put it up so I look all cute and athletic hahaha

I'm not going to write about Nico. He won't text me back, and I've put myself out there and told him how much I miss him and wonder what I did wrong. His silence speaks volumes---I just wish I knew what I did or said to turn him off. I really have no clue. Lesson learned I guess--I shouldn't have let him read this blog. At least he should have the decency to tell me what I did, or said. It's cruel, it really is, to just ignore me the way he is. I keep hoping to hear that reassuring tri-tone announcement of a text from him saying something like, "I lost my phone", or "my phone went dead, couldn't find the charger", "nothing's wrong, I've just been crazy busy." etc. but as the days go by all I can do is just forget about him. I've gotten over other guys and I can get over him. I'm just SOOOOOOO disappointed!! He truly seemed different. I'm really hurt this time, and the worst part is, I can't even learn from this, I don't know what I did wrong. I surprised myself how much I began to care for him. So--since i don't have any other information otherwise, I will just keep telling myself he's just another asshole passing through my life. Very sad.

My girlfriend told me, "there are 9 billion people in this world. Keep looking!!" and so I am. My dating website never lets me down--I've got 2 new hotties I'm talking to, always hoping for someone who'll stick around and actually meet me and keep something going. I really felt like Nico was THE ONE who'd replace Mickey in my heart but alas, I guess not.

I said I wasn't going to talk about Nico.

Nico, if you're reading this, you know more about me than 99% of my closest friends. I trusted you; I thought what we had was something special.

I miss you.

----sigh----

P.S. I'm going out of town for the next week so I will post a new blog when I return. Until then, I love you my readers, and keep the comments coming! Remember you can send me a private email at Naughtyannahousewife@gmail.com and follow me on Twitter at NawtyAnaHotwife

Have a good weekend everyone!

Love,
Anna XO

A new hottie for me!! yay!!!!

Ah, I love you my readers! Thank you for the prodding. I know I'm behind again--I had a house full of guests from out of state--NO unfortunately not the kind I was hoping for LOL but got my house back so now I have my privacy again. A lot has happened so I need to get this blog updated.

First of all, my plan to meet Jake was interesting! We had rented a houseboat the day of his concert, and we didn't get there till his band was playing like the last 5 minutes of their last song!! I was so bummed but glad I got to see him play a little. He's the drummer, and he was playing shirtless (--sigh--so yummy) and his band was actually pretty good. When the song ended, he tossed his drumsticks into the crowd, it was so rocker-esque I had to laugh.  Their were a few hundred people there, and a bunch of teen girls in the band's logo T-shirts, it was cute. They had groupies! I felt out of place, but I was determined to see him.

They were busy packing up, and I went around backstage to the exit door, hoping to catch him. It was blocked off. I couldn't get through. I realized I had to give up my fantasy of seeing him. He was there, I was there, it had been over a month, and I hadn't heard a peep out of him. My common sense knew I should just walk away and let it go. I looked good, I wanted him to see me, I wanted him to know I came to support him and his band, but it looked like it wasn't going to happen.  My hubby gave me a hug and said he was sorry it turned out this way. So I did--I walked away.

We went to get something to eat, and i just couldn't stop thinking about how many thousands of people were at this music festival--and how he and I were here, but not together. I really was missing him. I didn't even want to be there anymore. He was my reason for going. I couldn't help but scan the crowd for his face as we walked. And lo and behold, there he was!! He was standing in the middle of where everyone was walking, talking to his guitarist and a girl. I literally stopped dead in my tracks and went over to them. He was wearing a purple t-shirt and jeans and he looked as amazing as I'd remembered.

"Hi there!" I said to him, and I'm sure my knees were wobbly. The three of the stopped talking and just stared at me. Jake looked like a fucking deer in the headlights. He liked, bobbed his head back in disbelief. I said, "You guys were awesome!!" (he didn't need to know I only heard 5 minutes!!!) He said, "you saw us??" and I said, "I told you I bought tickets, remember?" he said, "WOW you came!" like he was happy. He outstretched his arms wide and smiled at me. "C'mere! he said and gave me a huge hug. It was wonderful.

After we hugged, he introduced me to the guitarist (don't remember his name) and the girl was his GF. He was very nice, she was cold as ice, staring at me like I was an enemy. The guitarist was super outgoing and friendly; I can't remember now what he was saying but as he was talking I was thinking, damn, this guy is HOT! And he's nice to me! The whole meeting lasted like, 3 minutes. I was happy I saw Jake, and I knew I looked hot, tan and thin and my hair looked good, makeup and all. I had primped just for him--I had fantasized about this moment for a whole month. I said something about nice meeting you to the guitarist and his GF and looked at Jake and said it was nice seeing him. He gave me another hug---initiated BY HIM MIND YOU and I said a sexy "bye" and waved and walked away. I have still not heard a peep from him.  Which I expected--but STILL. I sent him 2-3 pics of him and his band I'd taken while they were performing and thought I'd at least get a "thank you" but nah, nothing. Oh well. He's only 19 (just had a birthday) so who knows. My band is going to play this festival next summer so things will heat up, I just know it. I'm going to have our manager book our bands together ;)

Mickey is completely out of the picture now. Not returning any of my text or responding to any of my yahoo messenger texts. I saw him online a few times but nothing. I finally told him, "I don't know what's going on with you--but I'm here. I love you and all the ignoring in the world won't change that." That was 2 weeks ago. I googled him--yep, needed to know WTF?? Is he dead somewhere??? and it turns out he's online like 24/7 playing those stupid video games. "Black Ops" or what-the-fuck who gives a shit??? If he'd rather play video games than talk to me fuck him. I don't give a fuck. It's easy to let him go. I don't come second to a fucking video game.

I was trying to get him to text me back. What's worked in the past is when I'd say, "are you upset with me?" he'd always write back, "no, just busy sweety." this time nothing. And after I met Jake, I told him, "I met someone....." and he wrote back, "NOOOOOOOO!!!!! say it isn't so!!!" But this time, no response. Hmmm. I guess the GF is checking his texts and he's on a tight leash. I'm going to just sit this boy out for awhile. He always comes back. That I can count on--Mickey ALWAYS comes back.

Of course--it's easier to let him go now cuz there's someone new in the picture.....someone who I can't believe I actually told him about this blog and he's reading it! He loves it, but i feel like I can't talk about him knowing he's reading it. I will say this for you readers---he is everything so far that I used to get from Mickey. Back in the day, when he'd text me all day long, or text me back immediately when I'd text him. Mickey used to make me feel soooo wanted, so loved, so needed. And Nico, as I will call him, is doing that for me now. We "met" on that dating website 2 weeks ago. He contacted me. He wrote me the sweetest message. Most guys just say things like, "You're beautiful. I have a big cock, do you want to suck it?" and totally grosses me out. Nico didn't write anything like that. He did compliment me which was sweet and told me about himself. Honestly?? Between his pics and his profile, he is so much like Mickey it's eery. They both have a lot of tattoos and gauged ears and both are young (Nico is only 21! Mickey is 26) but the similarities are numerous. But of course, Nico is not Mickey. Nico is mature for his age and treats me so much better. I've known Mickey 8 years now, and he treats me like shit.

I haven't even met Nico yet! We had plans to meet last Saturday night but he said he had car trouble. I didn't believe him at first cuz I've heard it before. But I do now. I saw that he'd written it on his Facebook page. Yes, we are even Facebook friends. Mickey would never accept me. I was his dirty little secret. I feel like I'm healing through Nico.

We Skyped a few nights ago---WOW readers you MUST try it!! It's soooo fun!! I was so nervous at first, and for some reason my stupid webcam wouldn't work but I got to watch Nico jerk off for me. It was soooo exciting! OMG I was totally turned on! It was a shame he couldn't watch me cuz I couldn't help but touch myself watching him! It was fun seeing him as if I was right there. He's cute and sexy and so sweet. He lives so far away though--about 2-1/2 hours--but he seems unaffected by it. He said he's getting his car fixed and plans to come see me next weekend. So, we'll see, I'm not jaded but it's hard to get my hopes up.

Thankfully, my band is going well, although we lost another bass player. We're auditioning more this week but it's frustrating. We are ready to gig and we lose momentum and time. Between my job as a bartender and the band, I'm finally happy here. I am happy when I hear from Nico, he always makes my day that's for sure. Did I mention I have a huge crush on him???

OMG I totally forgot to mention my hubby has a new hottie too! She's someone he used to work with with his old company. She was just an hourly and of course he was the vice president, so they hardly had any contact. She found him out of the blue on FB and she lives in another state, but she's had the hots for him bad! I've been texting her--guess she's bi--and she thinks I'm gorgeous and she looks like a Suicide Girl--green eyes and black hair and tattoos--SHE'S gorgeous! She may come visit us. The girl we had a threesome with a few months ago wants to come visit too. Not sure how I'm feeling about that. She's the one I freaked out on, but we've been texting and things are good.

Whew! That was a lot to get caught up on. Let me know what you think my dear readers. I love your comments and emails--and thanks for the Skype offers you devislish nasty male readers out there! hahha That's just for Nico.

Have a great day everybody!!!

Love,
Anna XOXOXOX

Skype sex with a new hottie!

Hello my wonderful readers, I'm sorry it's been like 3 weeks since I've written. The kids are out of school for the summer and I can't get a moment's privacy! I like to write first thing in the morning when the coffee kicks in. I'm finally having some time to myself so of course my first thought is, BLOG!!!

Since I wrote last, I have not heard from either Jake OR Mickey. I have not tried to contact Jake--I'm leaving him 100% alone. His band will be playing a gig here this Friday! Hubby and I got tickets and we're going to see him. I'm determined to meet him after the gig face to face. Of course I know it will be awkward, especially with my hubby there, and I'm certain nothing will come of it, but you know me, I never do what I'm supposed to do. I'm sure I will get hurt again and wish I hadn't seen him, but I can't seem to help myself. I do miss him and I know he'll be polite at least.

I don't know what the fuck is up with Mickey. I don't know why he contacts me out of the blue, tells me he misses me, and then disappears. It's as if he's off the face of the planet. He isn't online, he isn't texting or answering his phone when I call. I know he said he was struggling when he texted last, and he'd mentioned getting rid of his phone. He's got a good job--I can't imagine why he can't afford Internet or his phone. SO.......I assume he doesn't want to talk to me again. He makes me crazy. But the good thing is, I don't obsess over him anymore. It is REALLY a relief. I can stand back and say, well, there goes Mickey, doing his crazy thing again, playing cat and mouse, and not take it personally. Whether or not he responds to my texts, or says what I need him to say, do NOT dictate my moods anymore. It is such a relief.
                                                          
                                                         *************
The best cure for heartbreak is a new guy, and I had this really cute blonde 19 year old writing me on my dating website. I hadn't written him since I was all caught up in Jake. He was persistent though, and I was ripe for a new lover, so I wrote him back. He gave me his phone number and we started texting. What I loved most about Danny is that he always texted back immediately!! And I decided I'd play harder to get....I seem to keep getting attached too easily and so decided to let him court me. I just adore him. The best part was, he did what no other guy, even Jake, would do---for example, I was at work one day, and I got a text from him that said he was in his (college) physics class and was thinking about me! How wonderful is THAT???!! I enjoyed that so so much. He went on to tell me how beautiful he thinks I am, can't wait to get me naked, etc. and we sent sexy pics to each other. While he's sitting in class! That was so fun. OH! And I forgot to mention he's an Abercrombie model! He said his picture is up in their stores all over the country! (guess who's going to the mall soon!)

He lives near Jake in the big city, and wanted to scope me out before he drove out here, so he asked if I had Skype. I didn't, but it was easy to get on there and before I knew it, there he was! OMG what a fucking hottie! He's a swimmer, and he took off his pants and boxers, right there on camera, and put his speedo on! OMG he's hung like a horse and gorgeous to boot. Of course it got very nasty after that--he began stroking himself and of course I started teasing him and took of my clothes one at a time for him too. It was so fun--unlike yahoo messenger, you don't have to type to talk to each other, you just talk! So we got along great. Before the clothes came off we chatted for about an hour, and before I knew it, he'd made himself cum all over himself, and it was 3 am!! We'd been online for three hours! It was awesome. He giggled afterward, and we both agreed we'd passed the test for attractiveness! So, we made plans for him to possibly come see me in two days, last Friday. I told him I'd get a hotel room. We said our goodnights with sexy plans to do all those nasty things in person.

I haven't heard from him since.

WTF here we go again??? What did I do wrong???

I knew he had plans to go to Magic Mountain with a buddy. He'd told me right up when we were Skyping, and who knows, maybe that was just a lie.  So he texted me Friday afternoon, simply, "hey, I am really not going to be able to make it up tonight sorry :(" I responded, It's ok sexy man! I kinda figured since ur having a big day lol". no response. Later that same night I wrote, "I hope we can meet soon" no response. The next morning I wrote, "HI sexy man", still nothing.

Hmmm so it's been a whole weekend and not a peep out of him. WTF I guess I messed up again.

So back to square one.

WTF

Another one bites the dust--and Mickey sniffs around again

About 3 days after our sexy weekend,  Jake stopped texting me. I don't know what I did wrong. Here we go again. Same situation, different guy. WTF!?!?!?! I'm so sick of this.  GUYS LISTEN UP OUT THERE----TELL US THE TRUTH.

Or give us a gentle lie. Here are the reasons I've come up with why Jake doesn't want anything to do with me again:

1. He's found someone else. (she's younger, cuter, funnier, dresses better, etc.)
2. He's starting to fall for me and it can't go anywhere cuz I'm married
3. I said something I shouldn't have (told him I missed him)
4. I did something I shouldn't have (texted him)
5. He saw me as a piece of ass. (and I saw him as something more)


There are a lot more choices but they're so pathetic I can't bring myself to write them. It's bad enough how much I've beaten myself up over it. I have been in a funk ever since. I can't even listen to music lately--every song just seems to get on my nerves.

Here's what I know--like a detective trying to solve a case--he told me I was the best he'd ever had. He said it sincerely. (he's only 18---I believed him!) And as great as the sex was, it was the way he held me all night long that did it for me. I've never been with a guy that liked to cuddle all night long the way he did. It was tender. It wasn't a 'wham-bam-thank you ma'am" at all.

I bought tickets to see his band in concert. We were chatting about it. Then he stopped texting. I didn't think anything of it. Then a day later, I wrote, "the weather is so dreary today--wish I was back in bed with you :)". No response. I waited a WEEK to text back! (I was so proud of myself!) I wrote, simply, "Hi sexy". No response. I waited about 10 hours, then wrote, "I miss you...are we ok?" still no response.

The next day I composed myself and wrote, "Hi Jake, hey I don't know if your phone isn't working or you just don't want to talk to me. So I just want you to know I'm glad I met you. You made me feel things no one has ever made me feel." Then, "You opened up my heart and I was starting to really feel something for you. I honestly hope to see you again." I thought, and waited, no response. 15 min later my closing statement--"And I wish I knew what you were thinking. When I drove away I thought things were fine."

That was a week ago.

I've cried so much over him, it really caught me by surprise. I realize the good that's come out of it, and I don't regret him at all. I am completely over Mickey, who, by the way, texted me at 6 am today out of the blue. Said he misses me like hell. I think he fell asleep cuz he stopped texting but the difference is I DON'T HONESTLY CARE ANYMORE. It's a great feeling. I'm free from Mickey. I don't think he can hurt me again. I'm too wrapped up in Jake.

I guess it's not Jake I miss so much, he's merely the messenger. I got the best sex of my life, and I felt loved. For that night, I was loved. He loved me the only way he knows how, with his body. He can't give me any more. And I want more. Nearly 20 years I've been married, and I got something from someone else I've never had. It was amazing.

My self-esteem has taken such a beating though. I can't help but pick apart everything I said, looking for the "deal breaker", as Dr. Phil would say. Something I said, or did, caused him to say or feel, "that's a deal breaker. I'm done with her." BUT WTF WAS IT?????

I swear, whatever I've thought of can't be worse than what it was. I know I didn't fart. I'm a great lover. He told me so. We had 2 amazing nights together. I know he was smitten with me. He told me he told his friends about me. So, where did it all go wrong??

Well, I'll probably never know.

But I have a new fantasy.

His band is going on tour. They have 17 gigs this month. I am NOT texting him (not even tempted actually--I can't take being ignored). We have tickets to his concert July 1st. I"m going to look amazing, and go up to see him afterward. He will be happy to see me, I know he will. And who knows--he may get lonely on tour. He told me he's not excited about being cooped up with his bandmates in dinky motel rooms for a month.

I'm going to give him a chance to miss me. Maybe he will, maybe he won't. If I was truly the best he'd ever had, and if he was getting feelings for me too, he will miss me. And he will contact me. If not, I will just show up after his concert and say hi.  Maybe he will be wondering, as he sits alone in those motel rooms, "did she buy tickets? Is she coming to see me?" and maybe, just maybe, he'll text me. I'm hoping he will. It's my favorite fantasy, I think about it constantly.

And at 7:45 am today (5:45 Mickey's time), I was dropping my daughter off at school when I got a text. From Mickey. It's been since May 20th since I last heard from him. Took him 3 weeks to miss me, but miss me he does. I was happy to see his name pop up on my screen. I just sat and looked at it, and smiled. We wrote back and forth for about 15 min and then he stopped texting. At least this time I don't really care if he writes back or not. I absolutely love how he doesn't have the power to hurt me right now. Does this mean I'm really over him??? After 6 years?? Yes, I think it does. And it's a wonderful feeling. I can enjoy his attention but I don't need it anymore.

I'm back on the dating website, and I'm juggling like 6 guys right now. Not that I want to. It's that they show interest, we exchange pics, and 90% of them turn out to look nothing like their profile pics, or they live too far, or "how about next week?" so whatever. Right now really the only one I want to hear from is Jake but it ain't happening, so I'm looking for my next lover.

I'll let you know what Mickey does next. I invited him to come visit me. I'm not holding my breath.

welcome new readers!

Hello!! I am SO thrilled that I've got some new readers! I apologize that I haven't posted anything new for the last 3 weeks, and believe me, it's not because I don't have anything to write about! I have been busy having lots of sex, in fact, last weekend my hubby and I found 2 new partners (a man ANd a woman, but not together ;) and I can't wait to tell you all about it! The kids are off for Easter vacation and I haven't had much privacy. It's Thursday now YAY and so just have to wait till Monday to be able to get my writing time back.

A quick up-date: Mickey and I are still doing great. We texted back and forth for 4-1/2 hours the night before last. It was wonderful. Till nearly 3 am my time, and yes, I was exhausted and dragging the whole day due to lack of sleep, but he's always worth it. I figured out something laying there in the dark texting him--I think we have some sort of an S & M relationship. I'm on Google right now looking up the terms to get an idea if that's what's going on. It sure seems like it. If you read back on our relationship, he repeatedly has broken my heart, he can be very cold, yet I always take him back. Hmmm, no-brainer, huh?? But since he's the only guy that's ever treated me like this, I didn't put 2-and-2 together. I will put up with whatever shit he gives me and it just makes me want him more. It's sick, I know it is, and I want to know what's wrong with me that I want him so fucking badly that I put up with it.

My 18-year old hunk Jake has been texting me too! I'm soooo excited to see him again! YAY once again YAY kids go back to school on Monday! I'm tanning and going to the gym to try to get this bod in a little better shape. He lives 2 hours away but can't wait to drive here and spend the day with me. He is so sweet, nothing like Mickey. He ALWAYS texts me back immediately, never keeps me wondering. He calls me beautiful, gorgeous, actually cares how I'm feeling, very very sweet all the time. I told him I had a little crush on him and he said he has a crush on me too! Yay! We talked about being "regulars", and seeing each other when we can since we don't live close to each other.  I'm seriously considering canceling my memberships to those dating websites since I found him. If we get closer, I will.

Ok, gotta run, I hear the dog so that means kids are up. I'll fill you guys in with our juicy weekend, as well as my sex romp with Jake as soon as I can.

Have a good week and happy sex to you all!!!

The winter blahs have taken over my soul

My dry spell goes on. I am thinking of canceling my profile on the dating website cuz I'm so sick and tired of flakes! I am sick and tired of the texting, exchanging sexy pics, sexy talk, and then when it comes time to actually meet, these guys disappear. I feel like I'm wasting my money and my time. Guys sure know how to talk a big talk but not walk the walk. What is it they want?? They advertise how big their dicks are, how good they are in bed, yada yada yada but no one seems to want to meet a real woman.  I'm so done with it.

I think I told you last blog post I thought I found someone who could possibly fill Mickey's shoes. I found him on the website. He's disappeared now too. He sent me sexy pics and videos of him masturbating--very nice, yes, but I have spent the last 2 weeks trying to pin him down to a date and he's gone AWOL. I'm so annoyed. I honestly don't take it personally. I know I'm sexy, I'm honest, I'm good in bed (well, so I've been told....I do know I love sex and love to please). I take good care of myself, dress nice, smell good LOL and these guys haven't even met me so how can I feel rejected???

ON THE OTHER HAND, I do take it personally when I don't hear from Mickey. He has been amazing the last few months. For example, I was driving to the airport one day last week to pick up my hubby, and I called Mickey. For the record, I almost NEVER call him. I don't want to bug him. So this was unusual. Well, his voicemail picked up, so I just left a short happy message. HE CALLED ME RIGHT BACK!! It was sooooo wonderful hearing his sexy voice, and just knowing he actually called me right back. We chatted the whole drive, and I actually had to say, "I have to let you go, I'm here and I have to call my hubby." Instead of me clinging and clinging like I usually do, I initiated the hang-up so I thought that was good. He is really opening up to me, we talked again about him moving out here. I told him I didn't want to pressure him, and he said he didn't feel pressured. I said, "why don't you just come out for a visit and see if you like it here?" and he agreed that was a good idea. We had a great talk. He said he's really ready for a change--he's going on a liquid fast, and that he was going to stop drinking AND having sex for a month, including no masturbating! I just told him how proud of him I was. There's more but I don't want to bore my audience. I'll move on and just say that he had been texting me nearly every day as well----until this week. Three of my texts have gone unresponded to. I did check his GF's FB page (it's private) but her relationship status has changed from "in a relationship" to "it's complicated", so I guess he's broken up with her--YAY! It's so hard for me to "just chill" and let him come to me, but he always does, so I'm trying to just breathe now every time I think of texting or calling him. He obviously needs room--SOMETHING is going on with him, cuz it's not like him (now, anyway) to not write me back. I'm pretending I've got a life and I'm so busy I hardly notice he hasn't gotten back to me. What a joke. I'm trying.

I guess my challenge is--I need to get a life. I had a life till we moved, and it's been 7 months and I am just really depressed and lonely. I have a job interview tomorrow so hopefully if I get it that will get me out of the house and meet people.

We had a few spring-y days last week, nearly all the snow had melted and the sun was out and I could see green grass in the yard! I went outside and just sucked up some rays and felt the frozen grass with my fingers. I could taste the excitement of warmer weather and outdoor fun. The next day we got 6 inches of snow and haven't seen the sun since. I've loved the snow so far, but the tease of spring was cruel.  I decided to stop pouting and ran out to make a snowman with my daughter. It was just what I needed---it was so fun!! But now the blahs are back again. I've really gotta get my life together. I can't sit around and wait for Mickey, I need to make some plans for myself.  Now I know why people here teased us so much about leaving behind the Gold Coast. I'm sooo missing LA.

Midnight yahoo message from Mickey!!!!!!!!!

Four days ago I got a yahoo messenger message from Mickey that put me in a great mood for the rest of the day---he simply said, "hey tell me your number again? I'm going to have a phone tomorrow". It came in the middle of the night, as usual. I responded when I saw it--about 12 hours after he wrote it---"yay!" and gave him my cell number.

Like I said, that was FOUR DAYS AGO. I HAVEN'T HEARD FROM HIM SINCE.

He hasn't "tweeted" in nearly 2 weeks. Neither has his girlfriend, and she's the kind that tweets at least once or twice a day. I don't know what's going on with him, with them, whatever.

I haven't seen him online. I'm guessing he quit the pizza job and is only at his new job (phone company). He had free WIFI at the pizza job, that's when I'd hear from him. So I don't know what the fuck is going on. Being patient is not one of my strong suits.

In the meantime, I'm trying like mad to find a new boyfriend. The dating websites are ok, I'm kind of frustrated at them. I am currently IM'ing about 3-4 different guys, but not really excited about any of them. One guy who had a HOT profile pic was on his webcam yesterday afternoon and so I thought, yeah, let's take a look at this guy! I got on my webcam too and YUK HE WAS NOT HOT!!! I was like, damn, how do I get out of this now?? I just said I had to go and clicked off. So now I'm avoiding him.

I did however meet a totally hot guy working at Abercrombie yesterday! He was smokin' hot. Great personality and I don't think he was gay (hard to tell sometimes). He was friendly and funny with me but I don't think he was flirting. Bummer. I'd really rather meet someone the old-fashioned way---which is NOT on a dating website.

Well, like I told my hubby, back to the drawing board. Guess Mickey's not planning on coming out here for my birthday like he said. When I hear from him next I'll ask him. I soooo want to see him again.

-----sigh----