If you really want to impress me, call me at 4 am.......

B called me at 4 am this morning and told me he wants me to come see him as soon as I get to LA! I can't wait to see him. I feel so comfortable with him--he's so sexy, so comfortable in his own skin. He is just easy to be around. He makes me feel so sexy and he just adores me. I hope he does get me pregnant--i'll have him in my life forever. Chances are 50-50 so we'll see. I really don't know why it's so important to him--I'm happy to just keep him my fuck-buddy, we have such a good time together. And I love that I'm his "dirty little secret". Well, I'd like to be more--damn wouldn't it be cool to be on his arm at some red carpet event?? Damn. Who knows. If I have his baby, the press will eventually find out. I like that I know a side of him no one else knows, cuz he is so comfortable with me.  I love the way he looks right into my eyes when he talks to me, those big brown eyes. I told my BFF about his new commercial and sent her his pic and she was like, DAMN he's HOT!!!!!!!!! I told her, yes, he is! I can't wait to grab that luscious long wavy brown hair in my fist while I ride him. Mmmmm 2 weeks!!!

Mickey is AWOL since I texted him I bought a plane ticket to come see him. I haven't heard a peep. I told him tickets were so cheap I decided to just come see him--that I remembered what he said (meaning about "having me in his life sexually right now is not healthy for me") and that I just wanted to have dinner---that I just want to gaze into those gorgeous blue eyes. No response yet. I'm biting at the bit to keep from contacting him--but going to just sit tight.

In the meantime, I'm writing Mr. Irish Accent daily and keeping in great shape for my romp with B (and hopefully Mickey). I'm down to 123 and look pretty good. I'm happy to say I don't think I need to lose any more weight! I'm all muscle now, what with 2 hours of tennis 5 days a week and weightlifting.

On a different note, my hubby's talking about taking a trip to go see his GF, the one that came here. I have to let him go and not make a fuss---it's only right, right?? Although it wasn't part of our original agreement....I get to do what I want so it's only fair. I don't feel threatened by her so maybe she's the right one for him to do this with.

It's funny---B, and Damien, and all these hot 20-something guys, but all my heart wants is Mickey. I'm really trying to leave him alone. He WILL come back to me, he always does. She's 20 for God's sake. And he's a confirmed committment phobe. I just have to sit tight.

Maybe, just maybe, I'll fall for someone else. I really really really want to. I did fall for Jake, but that ended badly. I wish I knew why. He really made me forget Mickey. That relationship had such promise, but maybe it was all in my head. I KNOW I can get over Mickey if I can just find someone to replace him. I've BEEN looking my dear readers! I really have! And I'm STILL looking!

Tomorrow night I will write about my hubby's GF's visit last month. I promise.

Stay tuned.

Love,
Anna XOXO

Still looking for Mr. Right Now--I might've found him!

Not content to sit around and wait for Mickey to decide what he wants, I turn to my dating website to find some fresh meat. There are so many hot guys on there--the problem is so many just end up exchanging pics and chickening-out when it comes time to meet. BUT---I found someone new--he is a hottie who lives about an hour away with an Irish accent!! He's half my age, and has the most beautiful smile and sparkly brown eyes. He has perfectly straight teeth, and a sexy, disarming smile. So so cute. We have been writing on yahoo messenger all week and we are meeting on Saturday!!  His name is Damian and he's fucking hot. Just the right guy to help me break my unintended sexual sabbatical! Thankfully he lives alone and I'm driving to meet him near where he lives. He's invited me to spend the night....mmmmm I'm thinking about it! I love the pics he's sent me and he loves mine so I'm really hoping he'll be worth the hour drive! I will keep you all updated. Cross you fingers! I could use a hunk like him right now. His compliments and constant attention right now picks me up when I'm down and obsessing over you-know-who. Who, by the way, was online 24/7 and has now gone completely AWOL. His facebook has gone private too. Can't read a thing anymore. Do you think this is all directed at me? How would I know? Enough, Anna, enough.

I'm so annoyed at Mickey's lack of response---my insides are literally tied up in knots wondering what the fuck is going on with Mickey--especially since I looked up "Domestic Partnership" and it says that in his state it is, and I quote, "....almost equivalent to marriage." What I don't know is have they legally done something or was it just, "hey, we're on facebook and we are living together so since there's no "living together" choice they picked this one? Who knows. I know that I'm getting really stalker-ish lately trying to get answers--so I've decided to just stop. I can't keep torturing myself. I didn't really buy a ticket to go see him anyway. I'm not sitting around waiting for an answer. His silence is screaming, "I don't know what to do here!!!"My BFF told me give it a few more days and then send him a text that I hadn't heard from him and that I'm excited to see him, etc. I don't know. I'm tempted to just do nothing. Let him go. I don't want to push him into her arms trying hard to "be a good boy"--HIS words.\

I'm annoyed with myself, and him. He's such an asshole. Why can't he just talk to me like a regular person???? If he's serious about her, why can't he just fucking say it?????

I'll tell you all about my date with Damian as soon as I can! I sure hope there's a spark. He is so cute from his pics so we'll see.

All I know is, I'm ripe for some good ol' fashioned fucking!!!!!