Strip club fun

With Father's Day coming up last weekend, I wanted to get my husband something REALLY special. He's a great cook and has been wanting a stainless steel cooking set, and I was all ready to buy one for him when I was like, "yikes they're almost $200" and I walked out of the store with a better idea!!!

TAKE HIM TO THE STRIP CLUB!!!

It was around 7:30 pm, I'd just gotten off work, and I furiously started texting our sexy group of friends to join us. Within minutes, I had a group of 9 of us all meeting at 11:30.

Woo hoo!!!!!

So we went to dinner first, just hubby and I, and had a simply delectable dinner at our fav restaurant and finished off a bottle of wine. We drove the half hour or so drive to the club, and it was PACKED!!! Now, the only other time we'd been to this strip club was around 3 years ago with my former boss and former co-workers. We had paid for a private lap dance from this super hot Russian girl and I had discovered one of my co-workers is quite into boobies (we are still friends and she has 3 kids now with her boyfriend).

I kept giggling while hubby and I were having dinner as my phone was blowing up with texts from our sexy friends. I hadn't yet told him what our plans were and he was going crazy not knowing what I was up to!!! When I finally told him he was SO excited!! He laughed when I told him, "I was going to buy you pots and pans but thought this would be more fun, and cost about the same!!!" hehehehehe

So we got there and got in free (the bouncer told us about a password we could use) so that was cool! The place was thumping so hard you could feel the pounding in your stomach. It was dark and lights flashing and more skin than you could imagine. We pulled together two tables and a bunch of chairs and the cocktail server came right over. The stage is in a sort of large horseshoe with the tables in the center and around it, as well as chairs lined up right up against the stage. So we sat back a little ways over to the right, with one pole just to our right.

OH. MY. GOD.

I looked to see who was onstage and it was a "little person". She was quite a performer. She was topless and doing handstands and shaking her infant-sized ass in men's faces. I couldn't believe it. I'd never seen anything so disturbing in my life. I'm sorry, I don't judge and I thought she was amazingly so confident with her body it was impressive but yikes there was just something about her small stature that reminded me of a toddler and that was disturbing. 

And she was apparently the star of the show. She was the only girl that got the whole stage to herself; BOTH sides of the horseshoe. And we saw a well-dressed gentleman with a stack of money just tossing them at her one at a time as if he were a bank teller counting a large stack. I've never seen anyone do that before, it was incredible. And when she was done with her march back and forth and after her pole dancing (which was phenomenal) she left the stage and some hired guy with a small black bucket crouched back and forth picking up all her cash. It was unbelievable. I just couldn't see her as sexy no matter what; maybe it's cuz I've got children and she just looked like a 4 year old to me I just couldn't really look at her without feeling icky.

Finally the parade of half-naked women began. There must've been 20 scantily clad girls in their early 20's (if not late teens) and they were all such an interesting bunch. I think all women should go to strip clubs and if there are any women out there that feel insecure if their man looks at another woman they just fucking need to get over it!!! I love how I don't have an insecure bone in my body at these places. Which isn't to say I have no insecure bones because I have quite a few but not at a strip club!!! 

There were all sizes of women. I had no idea, really, how different we women all are. No wonder men can't get enough of us!!! There were black women with big boobs and big booties. Asian women with tiny breasts and tiny bodies and that long, gorgeous, jet-black hair. There were lots of tattoos and piercings, some with breasts so small they were basically just protruding nipples. There were women with Beyonce-waists, so tiny yet their asses as huge as Nikki Minaj's. I saw breasts so large I wanted to bury my face in them, and I saw breasts that were obviously fake but most were just natural in all their saggy naturalness. Yes, saggy, and these girls were more than 20 years younger than me.

And more than a few had a few extra pounds on themselves. And they were still sexy. 

So we watched the parade, and it was fun. The music was thumping hard and it was so loud we had to scream to talk to each other. My three 40+ friends were clearly hotter than any of the girls on stage, and I started to really wonder about the young guys sitting alongside the stage. You know, the ones with the dollar bills getting their faces squished into the dancer's boobies??

My friends and I are just about the horniest women I know, and we are all there BECAUSE WE ARE HORNY BITCHES. And these guys are ignoring us, and paying attention to the dancers. I get it, they're up there performing and half-naked. BUT THERE'S NOT A CHANCE IN HELL ANY OF THEM WILL GO HOME WITH YOU. WE MIGHT.

Soooooo....I'm just watching them getting their rocks off, the dancers gyrating their pussies just out of the guys' reach, smashing their boobs in their faces, and the guys just throwing money at them. Good for them!! That's what you do at a strip club!! BUT HEY!!! THERE ARE HOTTER CHICKS SITTING BEHIND YOU  GETTING WET TOO AND HOPING FOR A GOOD LAY TONIGHT DUDES.

So we were all deciding which girl we all liked the best and we all liked different girls. My one friend was into this totally skinny rocker-type platinum blonde girl with a jagged pixie hair cut. My other friend liked a curvier girl with longish brown hair, and the other couldnt' make up her mind. At this point, the parade of girls started to come towards us; the girls choosing girls and boys they liked and pairing off with them. One by one, my friends paired off with the girls they liked and disappeared. My hubby and I and my friends' hubby were left sitting there like forgotten Valentines.

I didn't come there to just sit and let everyone else have more fun than me!!!

I had stopped at an ATM and had $300 burning a hole in my wallet. I swivelled my chair around and saw several dancers that were just standing there unattached, waiting for someone to pair up with. One was just a ways behind us and she was adorable. I jumped up and went over to her and said hi and asked her if my hubby and I could have a private dance with her together? In a very girlish, high-pitched cute voice she responded, "SURE!" and I motioned for my hubby to come over. I grabbed him by the hand and led him over to her.

We followed her across the place, and she'd turn her head and chat to us, very animated and sweet. She was gorgeous. She looked barely 20. Very curvy body, totally different body-type than me. Long blonde hair and tiny boobs. She was dressed in a white bikini that had a very pretty gold chain linking the top to the bottom down her back. 

She stopped at the bar and told us she wanted to do a shot first, called a "Payday" hahahaha and so she motioned for the bartender to come over and he made us two. I told her I was the DD so we decided we'd share one. Hubby drank his and she sipped first and I finished her shot. It was deeeeeee-licious!!!I could've had several but made sure I didn't hahaha

Then she led us to a table where she had to check in with some guy first, and we had to pay $20. I guess it's to make sure she gets paid SOMETHING cuz once people get horny I guess they can become assholes hahaha I dont' know!

My girlfriends had told me how it worked since apparently, they'd been to this club before. $40 gets you a simple lap dance. $80 gets you a little more, and for $300 they take you to the opposite side of the club from where we were at and anything goes. My hubby has always said he can't get turned on paying someone to pay attention to him, so he wasn't interested in that. He likes watching me with women so that's what I wanted to give him for Father's Day!!!!

So she led us into this dark room that looked a lot like restaurant booths with the tables taken out. My hubby and I sat down next to each other and she proceeded to talk to us about how she was from Iowa, her name was "Chelsea" (probably not her real name) while she grinded her pussy onto mine. It was hot and fun!!! She'd turn around and shake her booty in my face then lower herself onto me. I asked her if I could touch her and she said, 'YES CUZ YOU'RE A GIRL!!" so that turned my hubby on quick. She gave him some attention too of course, grinding her pussy backwards onto him and he loved it. She'd shake those tiny titties in his face and I saw him smiling. It was hot.

I didn't want to be disrespectful so the only place I would touch her would be her back and the outside of her thighs. I didn't want to be grabby and gross. I assumed if she wanted me to touch her elsewhere she'd grab my hand and put it there but she didn't. 

She was soft and smelled soooo good. I loved her long hair swishing on me. It reminded me of Jordan and his long hair. I thought, "I could like girls. I should pursue this!" and soon we were done. My hubby and I were horny bastards at this point and soon after left. We couldn't keep our hands off each other and fucked each other like crazy when we got home.

It was awesome.

Strip club fun

I've finally got something juicy to talk about! DAMN this fucking infidelity thing has SO messed up our sex lives. We are doing really well lately--we are starting to get back to some sexier behavior pre-d-day. We have been taking things really slowly--my Allen is back in my life and that's awesome but I am figuring out there's something really odd about him and I think as much as I'm attracted to him, we are very mis-matched. For example, my H and I went to a strip club last night with a group of our friends and I texted him we were there. We were all very drunk and turned on--we found out a girl in our group--one of my co-workers who's 24 and beautiful and just broke her engagement to a really great guy--likes women! So we bought her a private lap dance with one of the strippers. We made her tell us which stripper she liked best--hehehe--it was such naughty fun! I wasn't jealous of my H at all. It was a turn-on actually. Anyway, I'll talk about that later but I texted Allen and told him what we were up to and his response was so annoying I decided I'm done with him. Verbatim, here's what he said--"What are you doing at one of those disease nests? I hate strip clubs."

Yeah. That's what I thought too.

What kind of 27-year old guy DOESN'T like strip clubs???? COME ON!!! THE WOMEN ARE GORGEOUS, HALF-NAKED AND WRITHING IN FRONT OF YOU. WHAT'S NOT TO LIKE?????

If you are a guy and you can't stand strip clubs, would you please tell me why?? It saddens me that he is not more open-minded. I know there are a lot of women out there that hate them--they say things like they feel bad for the dancers, it's pathetic, makes them feel jealous, etc. but for a GUY not to like them? 

When I was in my 20's and was with my asshole ex, I used to be SO insecure and when I found out he went to a strip club I was beside myself with anger, jealousy and rage. It made me feel like I was chopped liver. Now that I'm older and wiser, I know better and I see strip clubs completely differently than I used to. These women are strong and beautiful and sexy, and they smell amazing!! Every stripper there gently and seductively put their breasts in my face and they were soft and sweet and I could've fallen in love with any and all of them. There wasn't a thought in my mind about "disease". Jeez Louise. 

There was one girl who was amazing on that pole, let me tell you. She went all the way up to the top, hung herself upside down, and dropped like lightning headfirst and stopped just inches from the ground, her long blonde hair barely scraping the floor. She cascaded around and around, spinning upside down like a top, then pulled herself upright fast as lightning. She was amazing. Only her and one other girl were capable of really working that pole like that; the slightly overweight girls just danced around the pole and couldn't do the gymastics and of course we tipped the more-skilled girls more. As I was watching them, I was not grossed out or thinking they had "diseases". It was a very clean, nice club and the staff was attractive and the service was great so I don't get Allen's point of view, and honestly, I am really done with him. He is super hot too.

I hadn't seen him in awhile and my hubby was getting okay with me seeing him again, so we have been trying to hook up. With the kids out of school for summer, it hasn't worked out so far, but ironically, I was in his city last week (about 15 miles from me in a part of town I don't usually go to) and texted him. He thankfully wanted to see me so we arranged to meet at a grocery store nearby! I had my daughter and a friend of hers with me--I took them to this fun trampoline place in his town--so I had to be strategic. After they were done jumping they were hungry so I dropped them off at Taco Bell and since I had to go to the store anyway, drove over to it (it was just across the parking lot) and told Allen where I was. I was nervous and excited to see him and it felt just like when I used to go visit Mickey at the grocery store he worked at. I was in produce, just like old times to see Mickey LOL and lo and behold, Allen came up behind me and touched me while he simultaneously picked up one of the avocados in the bin I was looking at and spun around and gave me a wicked smile. He got contacts, thank God, got rid of those awful glasses of his and his blue eyes just looked devilish. I realized how much I missed him. Damn, what a hottie. We flirted and joked, walking over to the soda section so he could get a Rockstar drink and hide from the other shoppers. He didn't even kiss me, just talked about his new job and shit and I knew we only had a couple minutes and I had to go get the girls. I realize I don't listen to anything he says cuz all I'm thinking is sex--"kiss me asshole" or something like that. Blah blah blah. Finally I saw my daughter and her friend enter the store so we parted ways. Very unfulfilling. I had fantasies of some making out in the car or shit, even the soda aisle but NO.

I texted him a few days later with two opportunities for him to come see me and have sex with me. He had excuses each time. Now with his remark about the strip club, I'm done. Either he's changed his mind about me--perfectly acceptable--I get it--or he just really doesn't like sex that much. Either way, I'm done. I'm not going to text him anymore and see if he puts forth any effort. I'm looking for a new BF.

And I thought I found someone--a cutie named Eli who is only 18 ("I'm going to be 19 soon!") who found me on cougarlife who I last texted months ago and said I wasn't seeing anyone. So I started writing him and he was like, "ooo girl where you been?? I want you SO bad" and sent me face pics and a dick pic (of course) and then when I said, "hey I'm free tonight let's get together" I fucking never heard back.

Yeah.

Happy Monday all you sexy motherfuckers out there.