Strip club fun

With Father's Day coming up last weekend, I wanted to get my husband something REALLY special. He's a great cook and has been wanting a stainless steel cooking set, and I was all ready to buy one for him when I was like, "yikes they're almost $200" and I walked out of the store with a better idea!!!

TAKE HIM TO THE STRIP CLUB!!!

It was around 7:30 pm, I'd just gotten off work, and I furiously started texting our sexy group of friends to join us. Within minutes, I had a group of 9 of us all meeting at 11:30.

Woo hoo!!!!!

So we went to dinner first, just hubby and I, and had a simply delectable dinner at our fav restaurant and finished off a bottle of wine. We drove the half hour or so drive to the club, and it was PACKED!!! Now, the only other time we'd been to this strip club was around 3 years ago with my former boss and former co-workers. We had paid for a private lap dance from this super hot Russian girl and I had discovered one of my co-workers is quite into boobies (we are still friends and she has 3 kids now with her boyfriend).

I kept giggling while hubby and I were having dinner as my phone was blowing up with texts from our sexy friends. I hadn't yet told him what our plans were and he was going crazy not knowing what I was up to!!! When I finally told him he was SO excited!! He laughed when I told him, "I was going to buy you pots and pans but thought this would be more fun, and cost about the same!!!" hehehehehe

So we got there and got in free (the bouncer told us about a password we could use) so that was cool! The place was thumping so hard you could feel the pounding in your stomach. It was dark and lights flashing and more skin than you could imagine. We pulled together two tables and a bunch of chairs and the cocktail server came right over. The stage is in a sort of large horseshoe with the tables in the center and around it, as well as chairs lined up right up against the stage. So we sat back a little ways over to the right, with one pole just to our right.

OH. MY. GOD.

I looked to see who was onstage and it was a "little person". She was quite a performer. She was topless and doing handstands and shaking her infant-sized ass in men's faces. I couldn't believe it. I'd never seen anything so disturbing in my life. I'm sorry, I don't judge and I thought she was amazingly so confident with her body it was impressive but yikes there was just something about her small stature that reminded me of a toddler and that was disturbing. 

And she was apparently the star of the show. She was the only girl that got the whole stage to herself; BOTH sides of the horseshoe. And we saw a well-dressed gentleman with a stack of money just tossing them at her one at a time as if he were a bank teller counting a large stack. I've never seen anyone do that before, it was incredible. And when she was done with her march back and forth and after her pole dancing (which was phenomenal) she left the stage and some hired guy with a small black bucket crouched back and forth picking up all her cash. It was unbelievable. I just couldn't see her as sexy no matter what; maybe it's cuz I've got children and she just looked like a 4 year old to me I just couldn't really look at her without feeling icky.

Finally the parade of half-naked women began. There must've been 20 scantily clad girls in their early 20's (if not late teens) and they were all such an interesting bunch. I think all women should go to strip clubs and if there are any women out there that feel insecure if their man looks at another woman they just fucking need to get over it!!! I love how I don't have an insecure bone in my body at these places. Which isn't to say I have no insecure bones because I have quite a few but not at a strip club!!! 

There were all sizes of women. I had no idea, really, how different we women all are. No wonder men can't get enough of us!!! There were black women with big boobs and big booties. Asian women with tiny breasts and tiny bodies and that long, gorgeous, jet-black hair. There were lots of tattoos and piercings, some with breasts so small they were basically just protruding nipples. There were women with Beyonce-waists, so tiny yet their asses as huge as Nikki Minaj's. I saw breasts so large I wanted to bury my face in them, and I saw breasts that were obviously fake but most were just natural in all their saggy naturalness. Yes, saggy, and these girls were more than 20 years younger than me.

And more than a few had a few extra pounds on themselves. And they were still sexy. 

So we watched the parade, and it was fun. The music was thumping hard and it was so loud we had to scream to talk to each other. My three 40+ friends were clearly hotter than any of the girls on stage, and I started to really wonder about the young guys sitting alongside the stage. You know, the ones with the dollar bills getting their faces squished into the dancer's boobies??

My friends and I are just about the horniest women I know, and we are all there BECAUSE WE ARE HORNY BITCHES. And these guys are ignoring us, and paying attention to the dancers. I get it, they're up there performing and half-naked. BUT THERE'S NOT A CHANCE IN HELL ANY OF THEM WILL GO HOME WITH YOU. WE MIGHT.

Soooooo....I'm just watching them getting their rocks off, the dancers gyrating their pussies just out of the guys' reach, smashing their boobs in their faces, and the guys just throwing money at them. Good for them!! That's what you do at a strip club!! BUT HEY!!! THERE ARE HOTTER CHICKS SITTING BEHIND YOU  GETTING WET TOO AND HOPING FOR A GOOD LAY TONIGHT DUDES.

So we were all deciding which girl we all liked the best and we all liked different girls. My one friend was into this totally skinny rocker-type platinum blonde girl with a jagged pixie hair cut. My other friend liked a curvier girl with longish brown hair, and the other couldnt' make up her mind. At this point, the parade of girls started to come towards us; the girls choosing girls and boys they liked and pairing off with them. One by one, my friends paired off with the girls they liked and disappeared. My hubby and I and my friends' hubby were left sitting there like forgotten Valentines.

I didn't come there to just sit and let everyone else have more fun than me!!!

I had stopped at an ATM and had $300 burning a hole in my wallet. I swivelled my chair around and saw several dancers that were just standing there unattached, waiting for someone to pair up with. One was just a ways behind us and she was adorable. I jumped up and went over to her and said hi and asked her if my hubby and I could have a private dance with her together? In a very girlish, high-pitched cute voice she responded, "SURE!" and I motioned for my hubby to come over. I grabbed him by the hand and led him over to her.

We followed her across the place, and she'd turn her head and chat to us, very animated and sweet. She was gorgeous. She looked barely 20. Very curvy body, totally different body-type than me. Long blonde hair and tiny boobs. She was dressed in a white bikini that had a very pretty gold chain linking the top to the bottom down her back. 

She stopped at the bar and told us she wanted to do a shot first, called a "Payday" hahahaha and so she motioned for the bartender to come over and he made us two. I told her I was the DD so we decided we'd share one. Hubby drank his and she sipped first and I finished her shot. It was deeeeeee-licious!!!I could've had several but made sure I didn't hahaha

Then she led us to a table where she had to check in with some guy first, and we had to pay $20. I guess it's to make sure she gets paid SOMETHING cuz once people get horny I guess they can become assholes hahaha I dont' know!

My girlfriends had told me how it worked since apparently, they'd been to this club before. $40 gets you a simple lap dance. $80 gets you a little more, and for $300 they take you to the opposite side of the club from where we were at and anything goes. My hubby has always said he can't get turned on paying someone to pay attention to him, so he wasn't interested in that. He likes watching me with women so that's what I wanted to give him for Father's Day!!!!

So she led us into this dark room that looked a lot like restaurant booths with the tables taken out. My hubby and I sat down next to each other and she proceeded to talk to us about how she was from Iowa, her name was "Chelsea" (probably not her real name) while she grinded her pussy onto mine. It was hot and fun!!! She'd turn around and shake her booty in my face then lower herself onto me. I asked her if I could touch her and she said, 'YES CUZ YOU'RE A GIRL!!" so that turned my hubby on quick. She gave him some attention too of course, grinding her pussy backwards onto him and he loved it. She'd shake those tiny titties in his face and I saw him smiling. It was hot.

I didn't want to be disrespectful so the only place I would touch her would be her back and the outside of her thighs. I didn't want to be grabby and gross. I assumed if she wanted me to touch her elsewhere she'd grab my hand and put it there but she didn't. 

She was soft and smelled soooo good. I loved her long hair swishing on me. It reminded me of Jordan and his long hair. I thought, "I could like girls. I should pursue this!" and soon we were done. My hubby and I were horny bastards at this point and soon after left. We couldn't keep our hands off each other and fucked each other like crazy when we got home.

It was awesome.

Jordan's midnight visit

Well hello dear sexy readers! Sorry you haven't heard from me in a couple weeks. I had a bad cold and lost my voice so no podcasting recording. I missed  day of work too, and had to put my beautiful cat down (he was 13, lived a good life) so had a pretty shitty week. The weather has been mostly shitty too, which was good hahaha so I didn't feel I was missing out on anything!

I haven't had any juicy stories to tell--I know you didn't get to hear about Jordan's last visit so I will share that with you today. It's weird, it's like, now that he's been here 3 times, I'm feeling a little protective and weird sharing too much. It's like he's gone beyond just being a FWB and is more of a friend now, but it's ok if I write about him cuz he doesn't know I'm writing about him LOL and knowing him he's be pleased if he knew. (his ego is even bigger than mine).

My hubby was out of town and gave me permission to have my sexy lover come see me. He lives over an hour away, and said he loves the drive to my house. He said his dick gets hard the minute he gets in the shower knowing he's coming over, and it's hard the whole drive here (hehehee love it!!!)

Because it was cold out, I had him come through the garage. It was pitch black and I couldn't really see him LOL so I opened the blinds by the side door. OH!! I forgot to mention, it was around midnight. He had to work so he came after.

We were giggling as I pulled the drawstring on the blinds open to let in light from the outdoor bulb. I could see his happy face and big grin! We grabbed each other and pulled each other thisclose and started making out. Damn that guy is fucking sexy. He's got over 2000 followers on his Instagram, mostly female groupies that would give anything to be the girl standing in this garage making out with him, but he chooses ME!!!!! I still can't believe it. Every time he shows up I'm flabbergasted.

I finally led him by the hand into the house, and he took off his shoes by the doorway. Holding his hand, we chatted as we went upstairs to my bedroom. Once there, we just stripped down to nothing and went at it. We were like hungry wolves for each other.

I always take down his "man bun". His hair is down to his waist, and it's so soft and sexy. He is so fucking sexy. I honestly can't get enough of him. He's so small, and so am I, and we fit so well together. One thing I like about him is he loves to go down on me!!!! Fuck so many of these young guys either don't like it or don't know what to do down there or don't stay down there long enough. I tell you, my hubby should give most of these guys lessons!!! (oooo wouldn't THAT be fun???!!!) Jordan is the exception. I would love to get a pic of his face buried in my pussy. I take a handful of his hair and tease my nipples with it while he licks me. I can't help but giggle while I'm doing it, I feel like I've died and gone to heaven. 

I love the way Jordan purred to me, "I don't "have sex" hon. I "make love". Mmmmmmm yummy. I love his small waist and his big dick. I love slurping it and licking his balls (completely manscaped, thank you Jordan!!!) and he is able to not-come so quickly it's over before it starts. He really is a great lover. I love going down on him; he's sooo appreciative. He grabs a hold of my hair as well and pulls on it just-so-tightly.

When I finally climbed on top of him, I could tell he wanted to get rough. He had one hand on my throat and it was so exciting. He held back though, but next time I'd love it to get rougher. I want to be black and blue! He just loves fucking me. We flipped each other over so many times and so many different positions, but what I love the most is realizing he never doggy-styles me. And I never really thought about it much till days after; I saw something online about how doggy-style is really so impersonal. No face-to-face with it. And interesting we've never done it that way! Which means....he likes being able to see my face!!! (yay!!!!) I love being on top, and he's so small I can put my whole arm around his waist and pull him close while I fuck him. God I'm getting so turned on writing this!!!! 

Finally he was on top, and I will never get that image out of my head (and hope to God I never do!!!) He had one hand on my hip, pulling me as close to him as he could, and the other on my throat. His beautiful, waterfall-blonde hair draped to one side and tickling my right breast, his head back in ecstasy. HOLY FUCK THANK YOU GOD FOR THIS SEX GOD IN MY BED!!! I OWE YOU BIG TIME!!!! And we never use a condom. And we are both clean. Yay!!!

And here's the best part dear readers (if you're still reading this far, bless you!) HE SPENT THE NIGHT. No other guy has ever spent the night with me. And we've had an open marriage for 13 years or so. It's always a quickie, an hour or more here and there, but never overnight.

I SO wanted to have sex again with him in the morning, and a couple times I gently stroked his arm, his back, to see if he'd respond. He seemed totally sound asleep. It was soooo weird seeing another man in my husband's spot. I stared at him, just stared. I really couldn't believe he was still there. It felt good and strange all at the same time. It's really true how being with someone else is so enjoyable, but then I just miss my hubby so damned much. I felt ready to swap him out. LOL

So we didn't have sex, he didn't seem interested, but I had to rush him out. My daughter was home and I had to get her up and out for school. I couldn't let her accidentally see him, so by the time I got him awakened, there was no time. If I could've hidden his car (or thought ahead to move it down the street!) he could've stayed. I did have to work at 9 so there wouldn't have been much time, but I would've been late just to get one more fuck from him.

As he got dressed, again, I'm just staring at his smoking hot body. As he pulled his black skinny jeans on, I asked him, "what size are you?" he said, "Zero." YEAH. ZERO FOLKS. My skinny rocker boy. I drooled watching him dress and put that glorious hair back in a rubberband. 

I put on the sexy bra and panties I'd worn for him the night before back on, and had brushed my teeth before I woke him. We walked downstairs together; it was 6:15 am. He was sleepy and sexy. At the door we hugged and kissed and said our goodbyes. It's always bittersweet when a lover leaves; I think, "that was so awesome. And I'll never see him again." And when I do it's even sweeter.

And I dreamed that night that he got me pregnant. Oh maybe it's wishful thinking, cuz I know he's got a kid and wants another. And his baby mommy is such a bitch and I'd be the opposite. I told him about my dream via text and he didn't respond. :( sad face

LOL I probably scared him.

The amazing thing about seeing him again was, the last time we were together was October! He'd been seeing someone seriously, and that's why we hadn't seen each other. She'd dumped him, and he told me all about it. He was really devastated. He wants a relationship SO badly. I told him all about "F" and we commiserated with each other. I feel like we're becoming really good friends. And I love that I have no jealousies, in fact I EXPECT never to see him again every time after we are together. It's truly wonderful.

Yum.

Creepy Catfisher Strikes Again

After I wrote that last blog post, I sat and thought about the whole thing, and I thought, "This innocent guy, the model Joshua, needs to know this creep has stolen his identity." So I looked at all the Google results, and found his Facebook. So I private messaged him and told him the whole story. He was so sweet!! He wrote me right back, gushingly thanked me for letting him know. We chatted back and forth off and on all day the next day, and he was just mortified. He said that it was "definitely NOT" him in the OKCupid profile. And I finished by saying, "BTW it was disappointing to say the least because you're really hot and I'd love to meet you!" LOL He lives in England so unless I jump on a plane that's not going to happen unfortunately! I gave him the link to this blog with the story I wrote and he read the whole thing and told me how sickening it was that there was someone out there that would do such a thing. I totally agreed. 

I felt really good afterwards. I felt like I had done this cute, innocent guy a good thing. I know these disgusting creeps never get caught, but at least Joshua can keep himself aware that if he did it once, he'll do it again, and he needs to be able to protect himself. I felt really bad for him. I mean, I've watched the TV show "Catfish" and have felt really badly for the people that get catfished but I've never seen it from the perspective of the person who's picture gets stolen. This was so frightening.

I thought that was the end of the creepy guy catfishing me. I had done everything I thought I could do.  

WRONG.

So yesterday I'm driving, and I get a text from someone who says, "Hi gorgeous." There are no previous texts from this person, so it's someone I've communicated in the past and are no longer interested in. I responded, "who is this?" and he wrote back, 'Ryan". Now, there's only 1 Ryan that I know, and he is my current hottie I've been Snapchatting all the time. He's super cute, 19, and has been in Alabama for work for a month. We've been getting to know each other and have been hoping to get together when he gets back. And he had just gotten back.

I was driving to the airport to pick up my husband and I was paying attention to my GPS more than my phone. But I REALLY like this Ryan guy so I wanted to respond. He asked for a pic. I snapped a pic of my legs--I was driving and in a dress and thought he'd like that. Then he called me. I didn't answer because I needed to pay attention to my GPS. I had never been to this airport before and there was a lot of traffic. 

He didn't leave a message but kept texting me. Suddenly, my radar went up that it wasn't him. I don't know what it was, but there it was. I went to my Snapchat and wrote Ryan. I asked him if he was texting me and calling me. I was too distracted to scroll through my phone and see if he and I had actually texted, and did I even have Ryan's phone number? 

Ryan said, "No, it's not me. My phone number is (a completely different area code as well)." 

I felt a stabbing pain in my heart. I wrote the creep, pretending to be interested, "Send me a pic so I know who I'm talking to." And you'll never believe what pic he sent!!! THE SAME FUCKING PROFILE PIC OF JOSHUA!!!!!

I verbally texted, "LEAVE ME ALONE AND DO NOT EVER CONTACT ME AGAIN YOURE A FUCKING CREEP". He actually had the nerve to write, "Ok bitch." Can you believe it??? Soon as I stopped driving I blocked his phone number.

I wrote Joshua and let him know clearly this asshole isn't about to stop using Joshua's pic to lure women.

Fucking scary motherfucker.

A Cautionary Tale

I get asked occasionally by some of my lovely followers if they could be one of my boytoys? It's flattering to read such comments. You all know I am not new to dating websites. I'm sure I could write a book on them. I am fortunate that I receive many, many messages daily and in my pursuit of new men to play with, a girl has to become savvy at this game. 

There's so much I can tell just from a guys profile pic including their username, their bio, and the first message they send me. I will not ever understand why a guy would call himself something creepy like, "HardAllNight" (not a real name as far as I know; I made it up to make a point...if it's you PLEASE change it right now!!!) send a pic of their dick and message like, "Hey babe I can make you squirt all night". I mean, REALLY??? ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS??? DO YOU HONESTLY THINK A WOMAN, ANY WOMAN WOULD RESPOND TO THAT????

So of course those get deleted immediately. I throw up a little every time. 

Choosing who to respond to is more than looks, but yes, I'm just like you, I have my "type" and I will always respond to someone who is that. So, without further ado, let me tell you what happened to me last night. It is one for the record books. I couldn't wait to sit down and tell you about it!!!

I got a message from "gangbangboyz"  last night, and yeah, red flag number 1. Creepy name. But his profile pic was smokin' hot, honestly?? He was the hottest guy I think I've ever seen in my entire life. (This should've been red flag number 2 but hey, he fit my "type" so I was interested). His first message should've been red flag number 3 but I was feeling a little turned on by his picture. Without punctuation (one of my BIGGEST pet peeves!) he wrote, "up for a gangbang". Not even a question mark!!! SERIOUSLY??? LOL

Now, I am a kinky sort of girl, and I have fantasies of doing the entire band Avenged Sevenfold all at the same time, so the fact that he suggested a gangbang didn't offend me. I just answered, "not really, but I'd really like to fuck YOU! YOU'RE THE HOTTEST GUY I'VE EVER SEEN ON HERE!!!!" He acted all sweet and innocent, complimentary and nice. My favorite type of guy. Self-deprecating. So it wasn't long till I gave him my phone number and he texted me right away. He began telling me how he was a professional gambler and brought home $9000 a month. At this point, this was Red Flag #1. His age was 25. I was turned off big time by this information. I imagined him sitting at blackjack tables (that was his game he said) with dark sunglasses on, cheating house after house. I said, "I can't believe you haven't gotten thrown out." It wasn't a compliment.

He said his name was Jordan, and that he travels all over the world to casino. He mentioned my home town and it was obvious he did travel. I was starting to get a little intrigued now. I kept glancing at his profile pic and imagining him as he was texting me. So it got to the point where I wanted to meet him. He said, "tonight?" and I answered, "you don't get a date with me THAT easy! I need to see some pics of you. Snapchat?" and he didn't say yes or no. Then he said, "I'm getting a new phone tomorrow, I'll send you some then." RED FLAG #2. I thought, "this guy is playing me." I was starting to get pissed off.

Baiting him now, I said, "Do you have Facebook?" and again, he changed the subject and didn't answer. I looked at his profile again, and that's when it hit me he had only the one profile pic on it. Just a gorgeous, gorgeous face pic of a young guy probably no more than 25 like it said. I clicked on "Details" and there weren't any except that he was straight. It was at that moment I also realized there was absolutely NO bio on him at all. Not even something trite and simple like, "Cats are my life" or "Engineer by day and master chef in my kitchen by night." NOTHING. NADA. ZIP.

I added the red flags up and the evidence was overwhelming.

So I texted him, "I have to be honest with you...my gut is telling me you're catfishing me. You have only one pic on your profile (red flag #1) and no info about you at all (red flag #2). You have no pics of yourself on your phone. (red flag #3). Who doesn't have pictures of themselves on their phone, even if they're getting a new one the next day? And I asked you if you have Facebook and Snapchat and you didn't answer (red flags #4 and 5).

He responded, "Ok gorgeous good night."

I was so pissed.

I wrote, "??? Prove me wrong!!" 

He then sent me a pic of his dick. I threw up a little again. 

I went to his profile page and clicked on "option", and reported him to OkCupid. They said they'd respond with "quick retribution" and that they would block him from being able to see my profile and contact me. I breathed a sigh of relief.

I WENT A STEP FURTHER. YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS NEXT PART.

Having watched many episodes of, "Catfish", I knew how to do an image search. I copied the profile pic of the hot guy and the EXACT pic came up immediately!! It came up in the first 10 or so choices!!!!! I gasped. 

THE PIC WAS OF A MALE MODEL, ACTUAL AGE WAS 20. AND HIS NAME WAS NOT JORDAN IT WAS JOSHUA ANTHONY BRAND AND HE LIVES IN THE UK.

You can look him up. He is fucking beautiful.

I wrote him a private message to his Facebook telling him about this creep who was using his picture to lure women. He hasn't read it yet, but I hope he does. I'm sure his lawyer will have a field day with the information.

I'm sure that creep will never be found, but ladies, we know these assholes exist and we have to protect ourselves. I feel once again like I dodged a bullet. He could've raped me, Rufie'd me, or killed me. 

ALWAYS, ALWAYS LISTEN TO YOUR GUT. IT WILL NEVER LIE TO YOU.

Frightening to think who would've actually shown up.

New Tinder boy

I've been on Tinder for oh, probably 6 months and have had some good luck with finding hotties there! I had a "match" yesterday, imagine a blonde Harry Styles. Very cute. Only 19 years old. The way Tinder works is, you can't write anyone until they've "swiped right" and you have too. So, guess we both "swiped right" which means we both liked each other, and then we were able to begin texting each other.

And I just looked for our messages and he's deleted his profile.

Hmmm.

Well, I really can't say it went well. I wasn't impressed.

I WAS impressed with him until he showed up. I loved the way he talked to me. He was very sweet, very very complimentary and very respectful. I get tons of messages and they range from the obscene to the sweet, and he was definitely at the sweet end of the spectrum. He was perfect. He said I was perfect. We exchanged snapchat names and snaps, and he was as cute as his profile pics. Yay!! And he thought I was just perfect. I couldn't wait to meet him.

He insisted he coudn't wait. We discussed our schedules and decided to meet this morning at 7:30. Then after some texting we decided fuck I'd just sneak him in after midnight. So that's what I did last night!

It was pouring rain, but that didn't deter him. He was staying with his mom literally 5 minutes away. He came in and he had a hoodie on. He was much smaller than he looked in his pics (he looked like six feet tall; I think he was more like 5-9) and he was really taken with how big my house was. He wanted a tour so I gave him a short tour, and he was just like "wow" and my house isn't even that big. Then we went upstairs to my bedroom.

I can't remember if he kissed me when we met at the door; I think he did but it was NOTHING like F. He was nothing like F. F devoured me, couldn't get enough of me and was SO into me. This guy, let's call him Harry (for Harry Styles since he looked a lot like him) acted the complete opposite of the way he talked in his texting.

He was attentive once the clothes started coming off. He was very cute, very skinny (yum) and seemed very comfortable with his body. He seemed experienced and wasn't afraid to make the first move. He had sent me a very sexy shirtless Snapchat just before he came over and you could see the tip of his hard cock in it. It got me very turned on.

He took off his hoodie and laid back down and laid down on my bed, and grabbed me and started kissing me. It was passionate and I liked it BUT he tasted like cigarettes. If I'm drunk it turns me on, if I'm not (and I wasn't) it kind of turns me off. But he was a good kisser.

I liked his skinny body and climbed on top of him and straddled him. I loved rubbing my crotch over his hard cock and teasing him. I was wearing a red bra and thong and a sexy red teddy over it. He loved squeezing the shit out of my nipples--no one had ever done it like that before! That was hot. He'd alternate squeezing them with sucking them. That was so hot.

I couldn't wait to taste him. He promised me he was manscaped and he delivered. It was a beautiful sight, and it didn't take me long to slurp those balls right into my mouth and suck that hard cock of his. He wasn't terribly huge which I was glad! I was able to take his entire dick in my mouth. He loved it.

We made out for a little while, then he took off my teddy and undid my bra. It was hot. The guy knew what he was doing. It wasn't too long till he took control and I loved it. He flipped me over, slid off my red panties, grabbed my legs and lifted me to his mouth. He buried his face in my pussy and it was amazing!!!! I wish he'd stayed there longer or gone back for more but he was eager to get inside of me. He asked where the condoms were and grabbed one off my nightstand. This part was so fun--he's on his knees in front of me, big hard dick pointing up at the ceiling and he tears open the package and slides the condom on. Fucking sexy. I'm getting turned on just writing about it!

With one hand on my ass and one hand on his dick, he pushed it into me and fucked me hard. One or two thrusts, and he said, "oh no, I'm coming already" and he was done. I got up and got him a towel and he cleaned himself up in it and I went and tossed it in the trash and came back. He was putting his clothes on when I got back and I said, "Stay please?" He said he wasn't leaving but just wanted to put his clothes on. I said "Ok" and I stayed naked. He laid down on his tummy and I laid down next to him. He got his phone and I got mine; I texted my hubby to let him know what was going on. He was 30,000 feet in the air on a plane headed for Asia but he was super turned on.

Harry scrolled through his pictures and described them to me. He's really into cars and "crotch rockets" and had some cool videos of him racing. What a rush! I liked that he was an adrenaline junkie. So is F. They don't know each other (as far as I know) but they have so much in common. He showed me pics of his sister and his mom, his dad, and his best friend who's in the Army. He seemed like he really just needed to talk about himself to someone who gave a shit, like he was lonely. He seemed very sad, and as he scrolled through his pics he let me see who he really was, which was really awesome. What was sad was he didn't seem interested in ME at all. I offered to show him MY phone, which is full of pics too LOL and he said, "Yeah!" but never put his phone down or ask me to show it to him. He seemed very far away, even though he was laying right next to me.

What I did like was he was a gentleman the whole time, and what I liked was he didn't get all ashamed and get up and leave embarrassedly like my last two Tinder guys. I liked that he stayed, but we didn't really connect. He wasn't into me it seemed. He never really looked at me, or asked me any questions about myself. He was totally into his own world. The only time he was into me was during sex. F was into me before, during AND after and that's what I'm looking for.

Harry had texted me that he wanted to spend the night, or at least stay till the wee morning hours, but he left about an hour after he arrived. He said he had school at 6:30 am, which it occurred to me later that it must've been a lie cuz he had originally been planning on coming to see me THIS morning at 7:30 after I dropped my daughter off at school. SOOOOO......whatever. I mean, I liked him a lot, and I'd definitely give him a second chance, but I won't pursue him at all. It will be up to him. It wasn't satisfying to me at all.

Back to the drawing board as they say.

Foreplay is my forte!

The boys on Tinder in LA are just hotter than here where I live.....I shouldn't say that but it's true. All that fresh air and sunshine....mmmmm....so it should come as no surprise that no sooner had I landed then I was on the dating site looking for a hottie to play with. It didn't take me long to find some cuties; I narrowed it down to three and chatted back and forth over a couple days to see who would actually show up at my hotel room. The cutest one I'll call Felipe (he's not even Hispanic so don't get your panties in a wad thinking he's your guy ladies) and we exchanged phone numbers. By Sunday he was sending me shirtless pics and yes, nudies. He was GORGEOUS. 26 years old, clearly works out, ripped abs but not overly muscle-y. Very handsome too. A definite 9. Brown eyes, brown hair, a little hair on his lower stomach which super turns me on.

We teased each other back and forth with pics and sexting, but I know it usually ends there. He had wanted me to come to his apartment during the day but I was busy seeing family, but I was going to be alone in the hotel that night so I was letting him know I wanted him that night instead. He was begging me to "come over now, I have a big hard dick waiting for you" but I wasn't available. Besides, isn't the teasing the best part??? The part where they want me SO bad they are putty in my hands.

The evening rolled along and he was still interested. We agreed 9 o'clock would work, he'd just come straight to my hotel room. He was super excited and horny, and I admit, so was I.

I had had dinner with my hubby, and two glasses of wine later (three for him) we were snuggling at the bar. He always gets so excited when I have a date! He had to leave me there to drive 3 hours where he had meetings the next morning, so it was a perfect opportunity for me to have a little fun. He kissed me and left, and I went to my room to freshen up for my new lover.

I put on some sexy music and ordered two vodka sprites for us, and showered and got ready. I had packed some sexy lingerie just for this moment, and tried on a few different ones and sent selfies to my hubby and asked him what I should wear for my young stud. I wore the one he chose (I do as I'm told). He also told me to wear my stilettos for him too.

We said our goodnights and "I love you"'s and hung up. I had an amazing view of the LAX airport, and grabbed my drink and a chair. I put up my feet and watched the planes taking off and landing and waited for my lover to arrive. The last thing he wrote before I sat down was, "See you soon babe!"

Then came this: "God my car won't start!"

I was like, "yep, stood up again." These guys get scared. Another wasted night alone in a hotel room.

He said he'd call Uber. Then he said he couldn't afford it. Then he asked me if I'd be willing to pay one way. I stopped writing him. Fuck that. I'm not paying anything. I am giving myself to you. I'm not a whore. I'm a slut! There's a difference!!

When he realized I stopped responding, he said, "I'll take that as a no hahaha", then, "hey enjoy the pics wish it happened. Safe travels tmrw." It seemed he might've actually been telling the truth. I responded, "Me too. thank u." He said, "If you're ever in the area hit me up" to which I didn't respond, but thought to myself, "yeah, so you can stand me up yet again!!!!"

Then he wrote, "Actually fuck it I'm coming be there in 20"

YAY!!!!!!!! THAT'S THE CORRECT RESPONSE!!!

I said, "you are?" And he responded, "yeah maybe 30 because I have to wait for this uber." I said, "I'm glad you changed your mind" and sent him a selfie to reward him. He loved it. He said, "Get ready baby, I'm on my way."

I did a little happy dance and texted my hubby the date was back on. He said he already had a huge hard on and couldn't wait. Could I leave my phone on secretly so he could hear?? I said I would do that for him.

He didn't get there till 10:40, but he did show up. I had told him to send me a quick text when he got to the hotel, but he didn't! All of a sudden I heard a knock at my door!!! It was him!!!

I said, "who is it?" and he said, "It's me!" I opened the door and there he was, all 5-9 inch, twenty-six years old full of smoldering testosterone. He was GORGEOUS! As good looking as his pics! I let him in and we were both smiling! He kissed me right away and I said I thought he was going to text me when he got here and he said he was so excited he forgot! LOL 

He kicked off his shoes (black and white Converse) and I took him by the hand and led him over to the bed. He quickly took off his shirt and there were those amazing abs...just inches away from my face. I put my hands on them and pulled him close so I could smell him. Mmm I love the way men smell!! It wasn't like full-on cologne scent, it was just "manly" LOL as silly as that sounds. I gave him butterfly kisses and caressed his torso, he was just so delicious. 

My favorite part is the unzipping of the fly and getting to see the hard cock for the first time. I love this part!!! He started to do it himself and I gently took over for him. I love the unbuckling, I love the unzipping, and I love the feeling a guy must get at this point. The anticipation is the best part! It's better than Christmas! It's a gift I love to give myself. 

Once opened, I gently pulled his jeans down and allowed him to step out of them. Standing in front of me is one of the most beautiful bodies I've ever laid eyes on, and he's all mine. Also discovering what kind of boxers/undies they wear is another favorite of mine. He had on the stretchy kind that hugs his package, and it was apparent I had gotten him all worked up! I loved rubbing his hard cock while it was still inside. Like I said, the anticipation is my favorite. Foreplay is my forte! I put my mouth on that huge bulge and nibbled it till he couldn't stand it another second. I grabbed his ass and squeezed it hard. What a nice tight ass he had!  He was running his hands through my hair gently and then grasped my head to lift me up to his mouth. He kissed me hard and sensuously, his tongue so hungry. It was juicy and so delicious. I love being kissed!!!!!

He lifted me and put my on the edge of the bed, and pulled out his big hard dick. Mmmm I put my mouth around it and started sucking it just like I'd texted him I would. He then pushed me gently onto my back and hovered over me, that big dick bouncing up and down in my face. I giggled and took it in my mouth and kept sucking it. 

I pulled off and said, "come lay down", and he did. I got on top of him, took a big long drink of that sexy man laying there in my bed, and took a mental picture. He was happy and smiling, his hands leisurely behind his head, just splayed out for my pleasure. This is where I feel like a kid in a candy store, I just can't decided what I want to do first! Suck him? Lick him? Fuck him? Reverse cowgirl or just climb on top? I decided to straddle him and continue the BJ I'd promised him. He was DELICIOUS. He moaned and stiffened and grabbed my hair and writhed in delight. It wasn't five minutes when I tasted his pre-cum and I always let a guy know I've tasted it. He loved it. 

It was the quietest orgasm I'd ever given anyone! He came in my mouth and I swallowed it all completely seamless. It just went down so easily and I never had the gag response like I've gotten with other guys. It was like, "SHIT HE JUST CAME!! HOW THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN???"

And as pleased as he was, he was done!

He pulled me down next to him, and he cuddled me. He said, "give me five minutes, I'll be ready to go again." I said, "no worries! You can play with ME!" and coyly took his hand off his dick, which he was slapping around to get it hard again, and put it on my very wet and excited pussy. He fingered me for a little bit and just as I was ready to come he stopped and went back to slapping his dick again and I said, "I'll make you excited again by making me come" but he seemed so focused on his floppy dick. Then he said he had to go to the  bathroom, so he got up and went (I was hoping he'd leave the door open....and I contemplated following him in....but I chickened out and he closed the door....

He came back to bed but he was done. He was very sweet and kept apologized but the truth was, I didn't care that his dick wasn't getting hard! There was a lot he could do that had nothing to do with his limp penis! I asked him if he'd go down on me and he said, "sorry I don't do that" and I was like, "oh....okayyy...." and was really disappointed. He was sweet and shy, he was embarrassed about his limp dick and really didn't get that I didn't care. I wanted him to touch me and please me, but he didn't have a clue even though I was doing my best to communicate what I wanted him to do. I couldn't convince him sadly, and he looked at his phone and said his cab was there.

He started to get dressed, and I picked up my purple satin robe and put it on. He sat down on the bed to put his shoes on, and I told him I loved his Converse shoes and told him I collected them. He said he did too, and we chatted about them for a little bit. Then he took my face in his hands and kissed me and thanked me for a great time, and that he'd love to see me again next time I'm in LA. I said I would definitely call him. We walked to the door, he kissed me hard again, and smiling, left. I watched his sexy ass walk away and closed the door. Then suddenly I heard a knock, and it was him again! He said, "I left my phone!" and we laughed and he went over to the bed, grabbed it, and kissed me again on the way out. And again, I watched his sexy ass walk away out into the hall, smiled to myself, and closed the door.

I took out my contacts, and called my hubby and told him how the night went. He was three hours away in another hotel room and he was still as horny as I was. We masturbated to each other and it was super hot. We pleased ourselves as we pleased each other and said our "I love you's" and goodbyes.

Laying there in the dark, feeling quite dreamy, and texted Felipe, "Thanks for coming (pink heart emoticon) you're very sweet and sexy" He wrote back immediately, "Thank you! I had a blast!" That was awesome.

I slept very well that night.

               

Interesting revelation

A week has gone by, and I'm wondering if F and his gf are back from their little road trip. That and I have today off, AND I'm home sick, and I have time to do a little more detective work and see what recent pics he's posted of their sexy little vacay together. Well, I can't tell if they're still there or back, but I did learn two things--she has a car just like his, just a different color. They drive the same sports car. There's a pic of their two cars side by side and she commented on them. AND THERE'S A PIC OF HIS CAR FROM BEHIND WITH THE LICENSE PLATE AND IT'S NOT THE SAME CAR THAT WAS PARKED NEXT TO ME AT CLASS LAST WEEK!!!!!!!!! He'd put new exhaust pipes on his car and that's why the pic of it from the rear. I went to my photos to see the license plate of the car that I thought was his and realize it wasn't his car!!!!!!!!!!!!! So......explains his lack of response! I can't wait to tell my BFF. She will LOL for sure.

So whatever.

I'm working on ME now. He will always have a place in my heart, and a place in my life and my bed if he comes back, but I'm not going to sit around and pine for him any longer. I've got more important things to do.

My hubby and I are headed to LA!!! Can't wait!!!!! We've got reservations at the Chateau Marmont in Hollywood and we have tickets to an exclusive swingers party at the Ma Maison Sofitel Saturday night! Can't wait!!

And we haven't had any alcohol for over 3 weeks and we are going to drink tmrw!! My first drink will be a bloody mary on the plane. Oh yeah! Let the fun begin!

Oh, and why is it all the hotties on OK Cupid don't live anywhere near me??? WTF??? And the ones that do are all scared to meet me??