We've been talking to now for about oh maybe 6 months, but my initial attraction waned quickly with every political post he'd made. A staunch conservative, we began arguing publicly and it really almost got ugly. We couldn't be more opposite, and as the election got closer, and of course, when his candidate won, he gloated and I realized I could never date him.
And I really can't remember what the turning point was for me--most likely, it was his persistence. Combined with a lack of persistence on Blondie's part, he just kind of got under my skin. He made himself impossible to ignore.
And he wasn't kidding when he told me he is blunt. He has challenged me and said things to me no guy has ever said. And he calls me every day! Blondie has called me, but every day?? And this guy isn't a schmoozer. It's like he's got an ego as big as mine, and he is tough. He doesn't lay on the compliments easily, it's like I have to work for them, and apparently, I like the challenge as well! It was interesting to find out he's an Aquarian like me! He said he'd never met another Aquarian. I've only met one, and that was in high school. So we must be rare and strange creatures indeed.
I'm not sure I'm physically attracted to him which is the problem. In some pics he's hot and in some he's not. He's 27 (going to be 28) and what I DO like is he is all in. He's a great communicator. Not like Blondie. He actually told me, "I'm not so sure about you. I feel like this is one-sided, and I'm just here to entertain you." WOW WHAT???!!!!! I couldn't even answer. He went on, "I write you and write you and send you snapchats and you look at them and don't send anything back." And guess what---this is what Blondie does to ME!!!!!! And I'm so frustrated with him, and here I'm doing that to someone else???!!! I was like "whoa!!"!!
I confessed to him that I have someone else. That things aren't going as well as I'd like but that I'm pretty attached to him, so I'm sorry when I'm flaky, it's because I'm either crazy busy with my life (not an excuse he said) or talking to him. He thanked me for telling him, but he challenged me further to explore what I want from HIM and if I've got room in my life for him.
And I realize that he's everything I've been looking for, which is mainly, a great communicator. I feel shallow and hollow talking to him and I feel like I've met myself. Have you ever met anyone that made you feel that way?? I feel like if I let him in, TRULY let him in, I will fall harder than I've ever fallen for anyone, and he will either break me in two or make me the best person I could ever be. Or break me making me that person. I realize right now, writing about him, that I'm terrified. I can't wait to tell him.
After days of arguing about how we will meet, I agreed I'd meet him at his apartment, but I wouldn't go in. I am merely picking him up and we are going to walk to a nearby restaurant for lunch. Why did we argue about where to meet you may ask?? Well, I'm a girl (DUH) and wanted to meet him in a public place, and he thought it was silly. So we argued about that. He was just like, "REALLY?!??! We've been talking for half a year and you think I'm a serial killer?" He was insulted. I stood my ground. I said, "You're a stranger. I don't care how long I've been talking to you. I don't know you."
He got it, but then I said the real truth--"it's not that I really think you might hurt me, although that is a real possibility. The truth is, what if I'm not attracted to you? What if we have no chemistry? I don't want to be stuck at your apartment trying to get away. I want to be able to leave when and if I want to leave." He softened and said with all his bravado, "well, that ain't gonna happen because we already have crazy chemistry." I laughed and said, "we'll see mister."
I guess I need a name for him, because I think you'll be hearing a lot about him, but I will wait until after we meet.
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I am leaning towards this guy primarily because Blondie is just driving me crazy with his hot and cold, and after yesterday, I feel like I am ready to scream at him. And I don't want to scream at him, because of course I don't want to do anything to push him away, but when I see the lack of communication from him and that insane command of communication from this new guy, it just makes me limp with exhaustion. Yesterday was a prime example.
Sunday night, yet again, Blondie messages me around 10 o'clock a "happy birthday" (it's actually not till Thursday) and that he's sorry he couldn't "cum" (sic) to the party my friends threw for me that day. So that led to, "I'm alone, you should come over." I said, "I can't tonight, sorry" as I was drunk and trying to sober up, in my jammies drinking Sprite on the couch. (the party was epic BTW). Then as quickly as he asked me over, he says, "oh my roommate home now, I was alone." I didn't respond. Then I just wrote something like, 'Oh Blondie, you know how badly I want to fuck you. Come over tmrw at 11:00 (am)". He said, "I will be there."
And then he wrote he was going to Urgent Care in the morning and would come by after. I said, "Urgent care???! OMG why??!!" Seemed a strange pairing. ER visit and hot sex. Hmm. Okayyy?!?! He said he has a hernia and has to see the dr. No further explanation. So I said, "Ok, well sorry to hear but yeah! I'll be here! Can't wait to see you!"
I had told him I had tennis until 10:30 but that I'd be home and showered by 11-ish. And when I'd finished tennis and hadn't yet heard from him, I knew he wasn't going to end up coming over. I just knew it. I didn't want to be the first one to write him, but I needed to know if he was coming over or not, because if he wasn't, I wouldn't shower, I'd get my house cleaned and shit. So I just wrote, "Just finished tennis. How'd it go at the doctor?" He wrote right back, "I go at 12;30."
I wish I'd waited to respond or not respond at all. I processed this new info and my mind just quickly surmised it to mean, "I won't be able to see you now." Of course he didn't actually SAY that. I had to figure it out on my own. So stupidly and too quickly, giving him the benefit of the doubt, I just said. "that's good! Gotta take care of yourself" and then, "well poopy you won't get to see me then."
And when I told my BFF about this convo, she was furious. She said, "That's it??!! He never responded??" I said, "nope". And he still hasn't. She said, 'You can't make appointments at the urgent care. He could've gone a different time." So then I started to stew, and smoke began to come out of my ears, and I began to feel furious and stupid.
And unappreciated, and taken for granted, because without more information, why would I feel any differently?? How hard would it have been to say, "I'm sorry, that's the only time they could get me in, it sucks!! When are you free next??" And since that STILL hasn't happened, I've decided not to invest any more energy into him. If he wants me, he's going to have to do better.
If I'd waited to respond, and had taken time to process his answer, I would've called him on it. I would've said something more along the lines of, "hmmm that's interesting bc I'm pretty sure Urgent Care doesn't make appointments." And made him defend himself. He's just too much work.
If I'd waited to respond, and had taken time to process his answer, I would've called him on it. I would've said something more along the lines of, "hmmm that's interesting bc I'm pretty sure Urgent Care doesn't make appointments." And made him defend himself. He's just too much work.
I'm getting really excited to meet this new guy today. Apprehensive and excited at the same time.
Today may be, as Dr. Phil says, "a changing day" for me.
Today may be, as Dr. Phil says, "a changing day" for me.
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