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Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts

Thursday, January 26, 2017

What I want for my birthday

The day after a first date is always the barometer of how it went, and New Guy didn't disappoint. He wrote me first thing in the morning, and last thing at night (didn't call me though! First day he didn't call! But he worked a 10 hour day so it's ok!!) He was also the first person to wish me a happy birthday. Yes, today is my birthday! And my heart is heavy because the one person I want to be with today just posted a snapchat of himself and his adorable cat to his story, but didn't send it to ME.

And I refuse to open his snapchat stories. He's not looking at mine anymore, for about 3-4 days now, and he STILL hasn't responded since his, "I go in at 12:30" text last Monday. I KNOW I need to get over him!!! I KNOW THAT!!!! But DOING it is something else altogether.

I'm pouring all the energy that I would be wasting on Blondie into New Guy. It's so funny, I really need to figure out what to call him, not just on this blog but in reality! I am calling him by the nickname his friends gave him but it feels strange, and I can't call him by the same name as my hubby. I mean of course I can, but his Facebook is filled with his friends calling him by his nickname. Last night I asked him what his middle name is, and it sounds African-American, and he is very Caucasian and blonde, so that name doesn't fit either!!

I love how I can tell NG (for "new guy" until I come up with something better) how I REALLY feel, and he is so easy to talk to. For example, he didn't understand why I wouldn't just come over and hang out. He said, and I quote, "If you don't want to fool around yet that has nothing to do with where we hang out. I will respect you. So don't automatically think that you coming over means sex. We can just cuddle and watch TV. Whenever you're ready for anything else, we can cross that bridge then." And I really do know he'd honor that. He's not one of those slimy types that think once they get you into their apartment they pounce.

He asked me, "what are you waiting for?" in response to him saying he feels "a lot of chemistry" for me. Before I had a chance to respond, he wrote, "I wasn't ready to hold hands yet." That shocked me! We ARE awkward together, but isn't that how it usually is when you're getting to know someone??!! I think for me, I usually either feel it 100% or not at all. I told him about a guy I went out on a first Tinder date with last year--he was the guy who was super cute, had a cat and an apartment and it was when Blondie had just dumped me to "pursue" Piggy Face. I wanted SO badly to like him. We met at a bar, had 2 glasses of wine, and felt nothing. I even went back to his apartment, met his cat, we chatted, and I still felt nothing. It's like I'm back there again with this new guy. I hate it!! I hate the hold Blondie has on me. He makes me so crazy and I'm sick of losing opportunities to be with someone else who will treat me right bc I am stuck on him.

And I love how you, my dear readers and anonymous friends, challenge me to ask myself why I keep giving him so many chances. And the thing is, we've been friends for almost 2 years, and lovers off and on for a year. I know, I know, there was that 8 month period where I didn't hear from him at all because he was with Piggy Face, but when they broke up he told me how he never stopped thinking about me and how badly he has wanted me all along. And we have an AMAZING connection, and I've never had sex like that with anyone. You know how that is---it creates a longing and desire for them very much like a drug and all I want is more more more. BUT if he doesn't feel the same way, which apparently, he does and he doesn't, sitting around waiting for him is just plain stupid.


Oh, and I have thought long and hard about my sudden burst-into-tears spell yesterday. I think it was so obvious I can't believe I didn't realize it sooner. It was really as simple as I really wished I'd been kissing Blondie instead. And how hurt I feel that he doesn't feel the same way. I am, without realizing it, grieving for him. I have SUCH longing for him and it hurts deep to my core. I HAVE to let go and let this new guy give me what I really want and need. He is willing to take things slow and wants everything I want. I just have to let go of Blondie to let it all happen. 

Today is my birthday! I'm going to squeeze in seeing NG. That will make me happy. I'm not going to let Blondie's lack of contact ruin my day. He thought my birthday was Sunday and he DID call me and wish me a happy birthday.

Have a good day everyone!













Sunday, March 6, 2016

Best. Date. Ever. And the jalapeno incident

Yesterday was Date #4, and it was epic.

I've been on cloud nine and I am not coming down anytime soon.

Since he can't drive since his knee surgery (and lack of working car), I picked Blondie up at his apartment yesterday at 8:15 am. He texted me he was ready by 7! Is that hot or WHAT?! I was smiling like crazy. I had to wait till my daughter got off to school.

I was so excited! I was bringing him back to my house! He was going to see where I live; my life, my home, my animals, my things. I felt so vulnerable but it was really, really exciting! I cleaned for like 9 hours the day before so everything would look nice.

He just loved it; he was so complimentary. I gave him the tour and on his crutches he went up and down all the stairs so well! He had been texting me the day before that he wanted to make this black bean salsa, and I was going to make my "famous" guacamole, so we had brought all the ingredients. I was so excited, I was not hungry at all, all i wanted was to get naked with him but I was like, well, this is what he wants to do so that's what we will do.

We finished the tour of the house, and we were in the kitchen and I can't remember what he said but i think I thought he wanted to make the salsa & guac, but thankfully mid-sentence he cradled my face in his hands and started kissing me! It was deep and long and sooo passionate. When we broke apart, he said he'd been wanting to do that since I picked him up!! (Happy dance!!!) We couldn't stop kissing and pressing our bodies up against one another. I said, "I don't know about you, but I'm really not thinking about avocados right now!" lol and he kissed me again and said "me neither". I said, "Want to go upstairs?" and he kissed me passionately in a definite "yes".

We were smiling and happy and he hobbled upstairs, always the gentleman though by letting me go first. When we got to my bedroom, he plopped down on the bed, arms outstretched over his head confidently, ready for action! He looked so gorgeous. He had his long gorgeous mane of hair up in a "man-bun" but of course he still looked so fucking sexy. I had lit candles before I'd left to go get him and my bedroom looked and smelled inviting.

I climbed in bed with him, and he explained about his knee, which was wrapped well. It had only been a week since his surgery so it was much much better but still quite sore and we had to be careful! I was so happy at the progress he made and that he was able to have sex!! I immediately straddled him and we began making out. He is the most amazing kisser; I love the way he bites my lips and sucks them. I've never been kissed the way he kisses me!!! It really gets me going.

I helped him take off his shirts, and he asked if I'd like to help him take off his pants! Well DUH!! That was so fun! I had been wearing leggings (first time he'd seen me in anything but a dress!) and he lifted my top up over my head, and I took my leggings off. Of course I had a super sexy bra on, my pink one with rhinestones around the edge, and a pink lace thong. And I love the way he takes a deep breath when he sees me undressed and tells me what a beautiful body I have!!! (happy dance again!!!)

We kissed and I licked him head to toe, and he was ready to fuck me. We fucked so hard, and it felt so good to feel him again, and he came pretty quickly. It made me happy. What I love is how we really don't stop just cuz he climaxes! He caresses me, he kisses me, he stays inside me. We don't stop and clean up. It's so exhilarating! I've never had sex like this ever. He is one fucking hot sexy lion with that long blonde mane. Oh, speaking of which, after we'd made out a little, I asked him if I could take his hair down and he said "do whatever you want!" Cuz I love love love his long gorgeous hair!!

So he came, and we kept going. So much passion for each other! What I love so much about the way he has sex is, it's making love. It's not just "sex". He's not grabby, he's not selfish at all, he doesn't hurt me in any way. He loves face-to-face sex and he seems totally into me! And he's so complimentary, and he's so sincere. I don't think there's an insincere bone in his body. He's so real and so present. He makes me feel like the queen of the universe!!

So we kept kissing and fucking and he came a second time. I was on top and afterwards, I just stayed on top of him, my head off to the side on his shoulder, our bodies warm and sweaty together. I never wanted to let go. I then did something I've never done to any man that I can remember--I put my legs up around his torso, and hugged him with my full body and said, "i'm giving you a whole-body hug". He hugged me back, our bodies so close if I could've gone inside his skin I would have. I felt like we were one. It. Was. Amazing.

We stayed like that for some time. It was beautiful. I climbed off him and we were cuddling. Finally I giggled  and said, "let's go make our food!" and he agreed! So he put on his boxers and a shirt, and I put on a sexy red negligee, and we went downstairs. He kept saying how much he loved my house, and how he wants a house like mind someday. He loved the kitchen too, how big it was and all the stuff I had that he needs like measuring cups and stuff.

So, he was making his salsa and I was making the guac and we were chatting and listening to music. It was soooo fun doing some random domestic stuff with him!! We got out some tortilla chips and tried our creations, and fed each other. It was so fun. I had a jalapeno pepper I had put in my guac and he decided to chop some up and put it in his salsa. They were both pretty yummy, but feeding each other, we started kissing like we did that first night at his place when he cooked for me. We were hungrier for each other than we were for the food and decided to go back upstairs! We put the food in the fridge and made our way back up to my bedroom.

We came upstairs and he was as attentive as ever. He is so loving in the way he touches me. I just can't get enough. He had that gorgeous face of his deep in my pussy and licking me so perfectly. I took a picture! Oh my god, it makes my heart skip a beat to look at it, and my desire for him just builds. I had told him I wanted to swallow his cum, and he said he was going to ask me if I would like to do that! He pulled me down to the edge of the bed and started fucking me, my legs in the air around him. It was very fulfilling and hot, and I especially love the way he looks at me right in the eyes while he's fucking me. He fucked me really hard, full of desire, and then said he was going to cum if I wanted to swallow his cum and I said "yes! yes i do!" then he gently pulled out and stuck his dick in my mouth and he came inside it. I swallowed every drop; he was so delicious. I felt so good making HIM feel so good! I love watching him cum; he's truly so beautiful, and I love the look on his face!

I was thrilled I made him cum three times! We took a very short break; he starting fingering me and all of a sudden I had this horrible burning sensation deep in my pussy and it was hurting so bad!! I was so worried, I was like, "wtf is this???!! Did he give me some kind of infection??!!" Seriously I was starting to freak out. It really hurt. I thought, "do I tell him?? What will he think?"And then he took his fingers out and put his cock inside me, and as he was fucking me, it hurt badly and I had to make him stop! I put my hand on his tummy and said "omg I'm so sorry but my pussy is on fire!!!!" He pulled out slowly and said, "So is my dick!" He laid down next to me and the tip was bright red! We were both in so much pain! We both said at the same time, "jalapeno!!!"

We realized that he must've still had jalapeno juice on his fingers from cutting one up and putting it in the salsa!! We jumped up and ran to the bathroom! He was standing at one of the sinks, splashing cold water on his dick and I grabbed a washcloth and ran cold water on it and shoved it inside my pussy best I could! We were moaning in pain and laughing at the same time! It was painful and hilarious at the same time! We fell back in bed, me holding the cold washcloth I'd shoved into my vagina, and he was holding the tip of his penis in his cold hands. I asked him if he would like a cold washcloth and he said, "oh yes!" so I got up and got one for him!

We laid there, laughing and moaning. After about 15 min or so, we both compared notes and realized we were much better, so we started kissing and making love again. I don't remember why--must've been in a response to something we were talking about--Oh I know! We were talking about him taking pics of me and us. He said he has a really awesome camera and I said I woud ld love that. That I have lots of clothes and costumes and really love dressing up! Then I remembered something I had in my closet, so I told him I'd be right back. I came back with my white feather boa! He LOVED it!! We played with it together, and I got a beautiful pic of him wrapped in it. He kept saying how much he loved and "has to get one". I told him at one point, "close your eyes". He did, and I teased him with the feather boa, slowly touching his body with it, up and down, all over, his face, his cock, his balls, his tummy, his chest, back up to his face, and all over up and down, slowly, very slowly. His cock let me know he was absolutely and thoroughly enjoying it!

I got on top of him and put that beautiful hard cock of his inside me and he came for the fourth time! This time, the ecstasy in his face was something i'd never seen before. It was so beautiful, so real, so hot, so consuming, I was like WOW I'VE FUCKING DIED AND GONE TO HEAVEN. Having daytime sex was so much better than nighttime cuz I could see his face so well!!!

He was spent after that. He was, of course, still so very loving. He wanted soo badly to make me cum and he'd tried so hard. Being the amazing lover he is, he didn't stop. He kept caressing me and kissing me even though he joked how spent he was! I was so happy to have made him cum 4 times--AGAIN!!! LAST WEEK WASN'T A FLUKE!! I MADE THIS GORGEOUS MAN CUM 4 TIMES IN JUST A FEW HOURS!! I mean, how fucking hot is THAT?!!

I was still so fucking horny! He wanted to make me cum so bad, and I wanted that too, more than anything, but it just wasn't happening. I could tell he was getting frustrated and upset, and that didn't help. I said, "I'm sorry I'm taking so long" and he was so sweet he said something like "it's fine take your time, I want to make u cum so bad". But it just wasn't happening. I was too self-conscious. And he would touch me in just the right place, and i would say, "oh my god, you're going to make me cum" and he'd start rubbing my clit harder or move it further down and I'd lose it. I wanted him to make me cum so badly too! He was kissing me, and I broke apart the kiss and said, "I'm sorry I'm taking so long. Maybe I don't want to cum". He said, "how come?" I answered, thinking of what my BFF said to me, "Bc I will feel too much for you." He breathed, "feel it. Go there", and that's all it took. He made me cum.

It was a big moment. So special. I had told him how only 3 guys in my whole life had made me cum, so I hope he knows how special he is. And not just for that reason of course!!

After my wonderful journey to the promised land, we laid there and talked and kissed. We kept laughing about the "Jalapeno Incident". I said, "We have a great story we can't tell anyone!!!" He said, "Oh, I'm going to have to tell people!" Hmmm!!! Who would he say he was with when this happened??!! Maybe he would just tell his roommate who is super sweet to me.

He asked me to go to a sex shop with him! He said he wanted to get a cock ring. I said, "Who for?" and he said, 'for you!' and proceeded to explain how his ex-gf liked deep thrusting (ew) and how I like it clitoral, so he wants to get that and try it with me! I thought that was so sweet! He also said he wanted to drive by some big houses. I said, "let's get dressed and go!!' so we did.

It was fun driving him around my neighboring neighborhood, where the house start at just under a million. We share a backyard. He took snapchat videos and it was so fun cuz later I watched them and you could see the Union Jack mirrors of my car. Of course I was hoping friends would say "who's car is that you were in???'

Unfortunately, I got off at the wrong exit and got us lost. We ended up close to his neighborhood, and he asked sweetly if we could go another time? He had his "ma" coming to visit and he had a bunch of stuff to do, would it be ok if I took him home? I said of course! We can go another time! And it was so fun having him in my car and driving him around. The whole day was surreal: having him in my car, in my home, meeting my pets, fucking me in my bed, chopping vegetables in my kitchen. I just stare at him, so smitten, hoping he doesn't tire of me and find someone younger and cuter.

Driving home, we were stopped at a stoplight and he said, "omg at least 10 cars looked at you!" I said, "maybe they were looking at the gorgeous guy in the passenger seat!!! He was like no, they were not looking at me. So cute and humble. I'm sure they were. He's so beautiful.

We made plans to go on hikes and do other fun things together, but not the zoo cuz he "hates the zoo"!! LOL But he loves aquariums. I do too! I told him about the ones in California. OH!! I forgot to tell you! We are going back to Cali in August, and my hubby said we should get a group together and all go. My BFF has asked for the time off and she's going! And I asked Blondie to go and he was like, "OH YES!!!"

Soooooooo.....I really like where this is going. I personally cannot get enough of this incredibly loving, fun, exciting man.

It's almost 3 am now, and I must get to sleep.

I. Am. So. Happy.