You want a WHAT????!!!!!!

Good morning my sexy lovelies out there! I thought I'd write a little about a subject that's come up time and again in my personal life. And I remembered that the guy I lost my virginity to at age 20 (yes, I was that old) broke my heart shortly after by telling me how he had always wanted a threesome with another woman. My response was swift--to me it only meant one thing--I wasn't enough to keep him interested. He willing took my virginity away only to declare me "not enough--I need two women". That's how I took it.

And of course, here we are, a few decades later, and he's not the only guy who I've been intimate with who still yearns to have two women at once. My husband and I have nearly divorced over this topic several times. WTF is going on???!!

I'm bringing it up because Jordan--my lovely Jordan--misinterpreted a Snapchat pic I sent him the other night of me and a friend of mine (female, very pretty) by suggesting the three of us have sex together sometime. Ummmmmm....that was NOT what I was expecting. And of course, his response took me back to that moment when my virginity-stealer told me HE wanted a threesome. It was like BAM!!!!!! Snap your fingers, there I was, 20 years old again.

Why are we women like this???!! Why do we instantly think we aren't enough for you if you want to spice it up with four tits and two vaginas??!! 

It's a culmination of a lifetime of societal and media influence that belittles women and reduces them to objectification. It's the Disney fantasy that there is our Prince Charming out there and we are his Princess and if we could only just find each other, we shouldn't want anyone else. EVER!!!!!!!!!!!! And not especially after just one roll in the hay. Or two. REALLY???!!!! YOU'RE BORED WITH ME ALREADY???!!!

That's how women see your request/fantasy to fuck two women at the same time. Us, and yet another woman we have to compete with for your attention. Because we aren't sexy enough to keep your attention obviously.

If you guys can get that, and I mean REALLY get that, you'd fucking stop asking us to have sex with you and some other hot chick who's going to make us feel like shit about ourselves, and push our relationship with you into the toilet. Because once we've given in to your fantasy, we can really never get back our dignity. No woman TRULY enjoys sharing her husband/boyfriend/SO with another hot chick. GET REAL GUYS!!!

We spend our whole lives trying to measure up to what society tells us we need to be. We need to be, in no particular order: Thin, sexy, perfect skin, no wrinkles, smart, funny, a good dresser, organized, a good cook. Basically Martha Stewart meets Supermodel. Who can truly be this??!!! We try endlessly to squash who we really are so that you'll love us and accept us for who we truly are. And then you go and suggest we bring another woman into our bed???!!! WTF???!!!

Now now, don't get your panties in a wad because I know my audience tends to be those that don't really think this way anymore. BUT it's important for you men out there to know that's how we women tick. We are programmed from birth to find our one true love and he will satisfy our every need and we will satisfy his. And then one night, probably a little tipsy, you whisper, "Hmmm, hey baby, your girlfriend is hot...think she'd want to join us in bed sometime??" And we go completely ballistic on you. And your head is spinning cuz you JUST DON'T GET WHAT HER FUCKING PROBLEM IS.

Now you know.